This is almost as bad as Help Me Name My ______!
October 18, 2010 4:04 PM   Subscribe

I have to decorate my office door for Halloween. Pasting the words "Bah Humbug" over and over is apparently not an option. Please help.

Office door-decorating contest, must participate in order to prove that my boss is participating, not really into it, etc.

The theme is "Something Wicked This Way Comes." So I guess we're supposed to decorate 'wicked.' Doors to be covered in white butcher paper, and then decorations applied to the paper. The only person who's done it so far has made a silhouette of a witch. Wicked!

I'm not into it, but since I have to do it I figure I might as well do it. (Prizes better damn well be worth something, too.)

My one thought was to print out cute-overload-type pictures of cute little animals, then do up fake mugshots or wanted posters with their awful, atrocious, faux-wicked crimes. Maybe titled the Annals of Wickedness or something. It was either that or pictures of kitties with construction paper witches hats pasted on.

Can you help with some ideas for fictitious crimes committed by the subjects of cute internet photos? (For instance, this guy is obviously about to rip your throat out. He has a long history of throat-ripping-out. This one perhaps escaped from a hospital for the criminally insane and was last seen wearing a straight jacket. This guy is some kind of evil I haven't figured out yet, and this dude is a four-legged Bernie Madoff.)

Have access to Photoshop. Will probably need about 20 pictures or more to cover the door. Any and all ideas for themes, wording, pictures, crimes and mugshot/wanted poster design are greatly appreciated.
posted by mudpuppie to Grab Bag (30 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Set in Courier, apply randomly all over.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 4:08 PM on October 18, 2010 [26 favorites]

Post picks from Wicked the Musical.
posted by wrnealis at 4:10 PM on October 18, 2010

posted by advicepig at 4:11 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Notorious bank-robbing duo.

Mafia underboss.

Assault with a deadly weapon.

But if it were me, I'd probably just Om Nom Nom the whole door.
posted by phunniemee at 4:13 PM on October 18, 2010

Your ginger kitten is either conducting an occult ceremony to summon wicked spirits or misdirecting aircraft on the tarmac.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:14 PM on October 18, 2010

You should put fake legs with striped socks and red shoes peeking out from under your door
posted by wayland at 4:19 PM on October 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

Banksy mural. Doooo it.
posted by beepbeepboopboop at 4:25 PM on October 18, 2010

yeah, I would definitely cover my door with a few yards of white cotton yarn, add paper flames, and then write wick(ed).
posted by peachfuzz at 4:27 PM on October 18, 2010


Set in Courier, apply randomly all over.

Oh so very heavily leaning towards this right now.

How would I go about depicting axe marks in my door? I have some Sculpey. Could probably form an axe blade to look like it's coming through.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:30 PM on October 18, 2010

Best answer: RED RUM
posted by decathecting at 4:36 PM on October 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

I love the wicked animals. Hilarious!

This vicious beast has to be transported in a secure fashion.

These were arrested for mooning passers-by.
posted by radioamy at 4:58 PM on October 18, 2010

Google for "Veliciraptor-free workplace", find the one with the bloody handprint, see if that's working for you.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 5:23 PM on October 18, 2010

Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here.

The words that appear over The Gates of Hell as imagined by Dante in The Inferno.
posted by brookeb at 5:38 PM on October 18, 2010

Some scene around the Monty Python killer rabbit?
posted by Namlit at 5:39 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'd do a full door height version of this guy. Hopefully that link works ok. If not, google 'grim reaper silhouette'.
posted by yoga at 5:46 PM on October 18, 2010

You could put fake tarantulas all over your door like in Something Wicked This Way Comes, and include spooky carnival images. Or a picture of giant hands with "tattoos" of your coworkers on the palms. But not everyone would get that.
posted by katillathehun at 5:54 PM on October 18, 2010

1.) Carve a jack-o-lantern (that looks like Dorothy Garland if possible)
2.) Spray-paint it green
3.) Photograph same and print
4.) Post photo on your door
5.) Reap profit
posted by Short Attention Sp at 5:57 PM on October 18, 2010

If you want to be really lazy, but still on topic themewise, just paint the poster for Wicked (the musical), which includes the Wicked Witch of the West--so you win on like 3 levels.
posted by 1000monkeys at 6:13 PM on October 18, 2010

Hang up a little mirror and put
over it.
She was wicked and she'll come if you call her.
posted by TooFewShoes at 6:31 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

My first thought was just to wrap the entire door in toilet paper, with a pair of eyes made from construction paper or something peeking out between a couple of strips. So, the door is one big mummy. Minimal, cheap, easy and easy to clean up.
posted by wwartorff at 6:34 PM on October 18, 2010

Best answer: For the axe marks in your door: go get a couple small hand mirrors and then blu-tack them to your door under the butcher's paper. Then cut a jagged sort of shape into the butcher's paper so it looks like you can 'see though' the door. Alternatively do the same thing to the butcher's paper, but put a colour photograph of Jack Torrance doing his "Here's Johnny" schtick behind the butcher's paper.

PLEASE post pictures!!
posted by Alice Russel-Wallace at 6:53 PM on October 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

This would be kind of snarky...but there is a song by TLC called "Sumthing Wicked This Way Comes", and the album cover is a pretty creepy. It could easily be doctored to be even creepier, and you could print some of the song's lyrics and put them up as well. Wiki Page
posted by delicate_dahlias at 9:03 PM on October 18, 2010

The theme is "Something Wicked This Way Comes." So I guess we're supposed to decorate 'wicked.'

Pictures from candlelight processions.

"Oh, I thought you meant things that have wicks are coming. All I could think of was candles. Damn. Sorry. Maybe next year."
posted by pracowity at 11:08 PM on October 18, 2010

Someone mentioned "Redrum" above; how about just painting a bunch slogans that actual criminals have painted on victims' walls, appliances, etc? For example: DEATH TO PIGS, RISE, HEALTER SKELTER (sic), FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE CATCH ME BEFORE I KILL MORE etc.
posted by Oriole Adams at 2:10 AM on October 19, 2010

Does your office use website content blocking software like Websense or other that generates a warning/error when you try to go to some sites? If so, an easy way out is to generate one, screenshot it, change the blocked reason to something like "tasteless wickedness" then blow it up to door size and hang. If you don't have good printers/copiers for making big prints, just sketch out the warning screen in a browser window freehand on the butcher paper.

This will also work for Christmas (reason: too festive) or any other holiday you don't feel like decorating for!
posted by mikepop at 5:13 AM on October 19, 2010

How about: "All play and no work makes Jack a dull boy"? Kind of a spin on the forced-office-party-games thing.

Of course, it might make you seem like the office killjoy, but I kind of like it...

Man, I hate forced participation shat like that at the office.
posted by sundrop at 6:07 AM on October 19, 2010

Response by poster: Thanks all. I love the Shining theme. It adequately sums up my feelings towards the office right now, but no one has to know it's anything other than a clever idea.

Incidentally, I do have two doors (mine and my boss's), so I might end up doing the animals on one and Here's Johnny on the other. Problem is I want Here's Johnny, and I'm not sure how my 65-year-old boss will feel about having his door decorated with kitteh pictures.
posted by mudpuppie at 8:57 AM on October 19, 2010

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