If You Like It Then You Shoulda etc.

October 18, 2010 12:30 PM

How do I not lose this ring?

Losing this ring would upset me.

And I'm a mess. I'm a ruiner of all things. And a loser of things. I'm rough on stuff. But I'm not totally incompetent!

I've read all the "Aaaaagh I can't find my wedddinnggg rinnnnnng" horror stories on here. But I have yet to find a handy guide to not losing a ring in the first place--besides, you know, don't have bad luck and don't accidentally lose it, which, maybe I can do that, maybe not.

Otherwise, my thoughts on this matter so far include:

* Make sure it's properly sized. (It is. I may get that re-checked actually!)

* Don't take it off. Even when swimming, showering, hacking at the yard.

* When you must take it off, you always put it in one safe place, always, always, always. Don't take it off and put it by the sink!

For those who have worn rings for a long time, due to matrimony or other ring-related reasons, are there tips and tricks that I haven't thought about?

posted by RJ Reynolds to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (39 answers total)

All of those have worked for me, especially #3.

Is there another person who can help you keep an eye on it? (For example, when my husband takes off his wedding ring to do woodworking, he will put it on a shelf in the bathroom. When I see it there, I will remind him that it's there.)
posted by Lucinda at 12:34 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Best answer: For the places and times one needs to take the ring off: ring holders. There should ideally be one next to each sink in the house, and one on the dresser of each person who wears rings. These are the only places rings go, other than hands. Personally, I prefer crystal ring holders, but there are many different kinds. I find it helps if all ring holders look the same, so you can more easily remember "That's the place where the rings go."
posted by ocherdraco at 12:37 PM on October 18, 2010

A place for everything and (the hard part) everything in its place.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:39 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

I, for one, cannot sleep in my rings, and I don't shower in them or wear them swimming, to the lake, the beach, whatever. Whenever I"m going to be doing something that has a high risk of total loss, I leave the rings at home.

So add to your list, or modify -

Never take the rings off, except in cases where wearing the rings is risking losing them permanently. In these cases, always remember to put them where they go.
posted by Medieval Maven at 12:40 PM on October 18, 2010

I wear 8 rings on four fingers, one set is actually 4 very thin ones. The only time I've actually "lost" a couple of rings was when the undertow at the beach was so strong the tide going out actually ripped them off my fingers when I was pulled off my feet. I simply never take them off, and yes, being properly sized is a must. When they do come off (manicures or recently, to knead dough) they went into my pocket. Ring holders sound like a good idea. Or a pouch made of some satiny stuff if you're storing them for longer.
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:45 PM on October 18, 2010

I never ever take my ring off. Ever. I'm a terrible loser of things and I know will lose it instantly if it's not on my hand. Keeping it on 100% of the time has proven very effective for over eight years now.
posted by something something at 12:45 PM on October 18, 2010 [5 favorites]

Don't wear it or wear it on a chain as a necklace.
posted by inturnaround at 12:47 PM on October 18, 2010

When you must take it off, you always put it in one safe place, always, always, always

There are cases when you must take your ring off, but are not near your one safe place (e.g. working on machinery, for safety reasons). For such occasions I suggest you make like Frodo and wear your ring on a chain.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:47 PM on October 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

This might only work for me, but I've found that my right ring finger is slightly larger than my left ring finger - enough so that it's harder to get the ring on/off, not impossible, just hard.

So when faced with a "If I lose this now its permanent and I'm dead situation" (skiing, swimming, etc.) I usually switch the ring to my right hand.

This does two things - first it's harder to lose since the finger is slightly larger. second I'm much more aware of the fact that I'm wearing a ring and potentially (In my mind) less likely lose it...
posted by NoDef at 12:49 PM on October 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

Ask your significant other to wear it for you, temporarily, when you need to take it off?

I do this for my gf when she has to shower/scrub/whatever, and I'm careful always to return said shiny object from my little finger. Plus, it's a cute thing to do, right?
posted by triv at 12:50 PM on October 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

I have a pretty, small Waterford bowl on the windowsill above my kitchen sink where all endangered jewelry can go at once when I'm going to be cooking dangerously. The rest of the time it just looks pretty. My husband also drops his there if he's working with powertools, as the kitchen is on the way to the basement and the yard.

Upstairs, I have a jewelry box and he has a valet. You don't really need a ZILLION places to put them as long as you're diligent about getting it to the couple of places.

(I am off and on all the time because sometimes my ring makes me feel all RSI-y when typing.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:50 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

Obviously, that's a short term ring logistic solution!
posted by triv at 12:51 PM on October 18, 2010

Oh, also, I have a cheap fake-gold (maybe gold overlay?) ring for when I want to be wearing a wedding ring but I'm afraid of losing my real one, particularly when traveling somewhere with less-standard accommodations or with lots of manual labor. If I lose a $6 ring I won't cry about it.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 12:51 PM on October 18, 2010 [2 favorites]

Plan ahead. If there's an activity where you think the ring may cause problems, take it off and leave it in a dedicated jewellery box before you leave the house.

Washing up gloves, gardening gloves, latex gloves.

If you often really need to take it off, have a small extra clasp or carabiner on your keyring and hang it on there every time you take it off.
posted by emilyw at 12:54 PM on October 18, 2010

Best answer: You know, I used to be really paranoid about it and even moreso because I work with my hands so much that within a few years I noticed that I dinged the crap out of my ring. I had a conversation with Mrs. Plinth about that and she had a pretty blasé answer: when it wears out, just get another one.

Jewelry is meant to be worn. Things that get worn get, well, worn. If you don't want to lose jewelry ever, don't wear it and keep it locked away. Otherwise, take reasonable precautions and accept the possibility of loss.

Wedding rings are symbolic. Losing a wedding ring is not a reflection on your marriage. And because it's symbolic, you can be in a position to wear a stunt ring that is every bit as symbolic, but just doesn't cost quite as much.

That said, I wear my ring 24/7. The only time I take it off is for medical procedures that require it or air travel. In that case, I use a bracelet that I wear as a holder for all other jewelry.
posted by plinth at 12:58 PM on October 18, 2010 [8 favorites]

Warning: I was wearing my wife's ring for her (per Triv's answer), put on some gloves, took them off, and my wife's ring came off with the glove. Wait 15 minutes, cue 15 more minutes of panic until I found the ring still inside the (fingerless, so not a foregone conclusion) glove.
posted by xueexueg at 1:01 PM on October 18, 2010

Keep a good-sized carabiner near the kitchen/bathroom sinks and anywhere you might want to take the ring off for a while. Also keep one on your key ring.

When you take the ring off, clip the carabiner through it. Then it can't fall down a drain or something, and is easy to spot when you've forgotten where you put it last. When you're out, you can clip your ring into the 'biner on your key ring. You don't lose your keys, do you?
posted by ctmf at 1:01 PM on October 18, 2010 [4 favorites]

When my husband and I got married, I went and got a bunch of pretty chopstick rests like these from Crate and Barrel - they used to have a big selection of them (maybe they still do in the actual store). They are perfect for rings - and I have one beside every sink. It occurs to me that the huge Asian grocery store in my city might also have them, inexpensively.

Getting my husband to actually use them, on the other hand, is another story all together (he has a somewhat annoying habit of placing his ring next to the bowl).
posted by LyndsayMW at 1:05 PM on October 18, 2010

My mother had a teacup hook screwed into the window sill over the kitchen sink. This is a hook with a clasp that closed on it so the teacup (or wedding rings) could not be knocked off the little hook. Just stick a few of those around the house (kitchen, bathrooms, bedroom, etc.)
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 1:09 PM on October 18, 2010

I never took mine off until I had a kid and became allergic to them. Now I don't sleep in them. They go on a ring holder on my bedside table. Always.

Also, I don't worry about losing them because they are well insured. I realize they aren't replaceable anyway, because no ring is this ring, but I also know that if god forbid they were lost or stolen, I couldn't afford to a suitable replacement. The $100 I spend is worth that piece of mind.
posted by dpx.mfx at 1:13 PM on October 18, 2010

If you are a fidgety sort, don't play with your ring by slipping it on and off. I have nearly lost my ring a couple of times that way.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 1:16 PM on October 18, 2010

Best answer: I have a friend who abides by one rule with his ring: Any time he takes it off, he hooks it on his key chain. Of course, this only works for those of us who never lose our keys.
posted by General Malaise at 1:32 PM on October 18, 2010

If you take it off, and it's not on a ring holder or bowl, then I recommend putting it in a drawer. I have pretty bowls in the top drawer of my nightstand just for this, and going inside the drawer prevents it from being knocked off- whether by me or my cat. Never leave it out on a flat surface without being contained.
posted by questionsandanchors at 1:36 PM on October 18, 2010

When I take my ring off - and if you do kitchen stuff, you have to take it off sometimes, for the sake of hygiene! - I hook it into the wristband of my watch and snap the wristband closed. A wristwatch is unlikely to get lost. I *always* do that when I take it off, whether it's for showering, cooking or yardwork.

(Anybody know how to make a ring less lose? My sizes change constantly, depending on temperature...)
posted by The Toad at 1:38 PM on October 18, 2010

The people I know who do best at this not losing stuff thing have very very set routines for where they put things when they take them off. I am not one of these people. One question - is your ring a standard plain metal wedding band? if is you could do any of these without too much trouble. I'd keep the ring sized on the tighter side if you are comfortable with that. I'd also consider a low cost spare for either activities that might damage the rings and/or an alternate size if your fingers change size a lot based on heat etc. Beware ice filled coolers btw.
posted by oneear at 1:46 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

toad - you could get something like this
posted by oneear at 1:49 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm generally not a loser-of-rings but this helps me on a regular basis:

If I need to remove my ring for an extended period (gym, machine shop, working in the garage, etc.) I take off my ring and tie it into my shoelaces. I thread one of the laces through it before the loops and before the cross so it's got a full knot holding it on. The worst that's happened to me is I forget all day until I take my shoes off.

It beats leaving it by the sink and accidentally knocking it into the drain.
posted by KevCed at 2:06 PM on October 18, 2010

Best answer: The key to not losing your ring is to stop being absent-minded about your ring, and to think of it as an extension of your body. This might sound woo-woo, but all the special ring holders and physical tricks in the world won't be enough on their own to save you, esp. if you are a loser of things (like me).

The way to do this is to train your thumb.

Start by consciously asking yourself "Am I wearing my ring?" a few times a day. Always at key points like first thing in the morning, getting home from your workday, last thing at night, after anything to do with the sink/shower/bath/pool, etc.

And anytime you ask yourself the question, use your thumb to feel for the bottom of the ring at the base of your finger.

Before long, your thumb will subconsciously go to that spot, feel for ring, and sent a message of "all good here." You won't even realize you are doing it, when the ring is actually on.

You'll know it's working when the process goes like this, in a millisecond:

Thumb: (checks finger, ring is off) Shit, shit, shit. Hey brain! Wake up! Look down here!

Brain: Eh, what? What's up?

Thumb: Ring is gone. Commence freaking out.

Brain: Settle down, Thumb. Remember, we took it off to work on the plumbing. It's on top of the dresser by the wallet.

Thumb: Whew! Right. Cool. Thanks for checking.

The other thing I can recommend because it works for me as a Loser of Things is to never take the ring off absent-mindedly. Carefully think to yourself: "I am going to wash the dishes now, so I need to take off my ring. Where will I put it here? Here, I will put it here, in the designated silver dish that is Holder of Important Small Things in the Kitchen."

Be deliberate. Take an extra second. It sounds all simplistic and Dr. Seuss-like but you are training yourself into a good habit, and habits require patience and repetition and deliberation.

Then, later, when Thumb freaks out, Brain knows how to answer. "Remember, we took it off to do the dishes. It's in the silver Important Holder dish in the kitchen."

Train the Thumb & Brain and then you never have to rely on the special dish. Because the special dish only works if you are in the same place as the special dish. I travel a lot and this just wouldn't work for me.

Also, when I am away from home, the "special place" is never, ever something that isn't mine. Say I am in the car and need to take off ring to apply hand lotion; ring goes on spouse's pinky finger, or into zippy purse pocket—never in cupholder of car. Say I am in a hotel; ring goes into zippy section of toiletries bag—never on hotel dresser or nightstand or sink tray. If I'm traveling, the ring is always either on my person or in my stuff.
posted by pineapple at 2:09 PM on October 18, 2010 [13 favorites]

When I got my engagement ring, it was the first piece of jewelry that I knew I could NOT lose. So I bought a chain - a long one, long enough that when the ring was on it, the ring could rest in the center of my bra; this let me wear it all the time without it driving me nuts or not matching my outfit. For a very long time, I never took the ring off without putting it on that chain, even when I needed to take the chain off. A ring on a long chain is a lot easier to find than just a ring. I love the carabiner idea, though I do that for my keys and I have lost keys and fobs thanks to things hitting it just right - maybe I need stronger or higher quality carabiners so that doesn't happen.
posted by lemniskate at 3:33 PM on October 18, 2010

The crucial thing for me is not just having only one place where the ring goes when I take it off, but having a set location for each situation where I might have to take the ring off. I don't sleep in my jewelry, so if at home, it goes in jewelry box. If at partner's, it goes in wallet (in the coin purse part). If traveling, it goes in the jewelry pouch that all traveling jewelry goes in. If playing a gig and forgot to remove jewelry beforehand, it goes in pouch in fiddle case. This way, I always know where to look. I like the key ring idea a lot too and may have to try it.
posted by Polyhymnia at 3:53 PM on October 18, 2010

* Don't take it off. Even when swimming, showering, hacking at the yard.

I really recommend taking it off before swimming in cold water - that's how I lost my wedding ring - on my honeymoon! :(
posted by The Light Fantastic at 4:02 PM on October 18, 2010 [1 favorite]

I second all the tips about having designated places to put the ring in each possible situation, and frequently checking for it until it becomes autonomic, much as one would train oneself not to lose a purse.

One extra thing I'd suggest is to make sure you choose a style that is easy to resize. I stopped wearing my original wedding ring because it was a design that apparently would break if resized by the simpler method of hitting it with a hammer, and I didn't really want to have it cut apart and re-soldered. My mom stopped wearing hers for a similar reason.
posted by LadyOscar at 4:26 PM on October 18, 2010

Others have said this, in other ways, but I use Religion. To not lose something, when you are someone who loses things, you must get Religion.

The tenets of the Religion are:

I. This is my sacred ring. There are no others like it.

II. I shall not show disrespect to my sacred ring, by setting it down, ever.

III. Only 3 places ON EARTH are holy enough to not profane my sacred ring: 1) my body, 2) my chain/left pocket/some ring holding-thing I intend to ALWAYS carry with me, 3) my jewelry stand beside my bed. Anything else is an unerasable stain.

"Ring" is obviously a replaceable variable for whatever object you need to keep (the Religion was actually developed my lady's favor in the SCA, which I never again lost), as are the three locations you keep it. Don't add more locations; three is enough. If you forget your ring-chain, sorry: you'll have to put it in your mouth, or another finger, or hide "that uncomfortable hunk of metal up your ass". You'll learn.
posted by IAmBroom at 4:56 PM on October 18, 2010 [3 favorites]

Pineapple's answer is spot-on. I didn't actually consciously start doing the thumb-to-ring thing, it just became a habit. I think I started it because I kept having the "omg am I really engaged?!?!?!" thought, then I'd just sorta check my ring.
posted by radioamy at 5:07 PM on October 18, 2010

radioamy, that's totally how the thumb thing started for me too: unconsciously, right after I got engaged, because I wasn't a ring-wearer prior to that and so my thumb kept fiddling with the foreign object on my hand. By the time the object wasn't foreign, I was a thumb-checker.
posted by pineapple at 5:25 PM on October 18, 2010

I have some 1/4" ribbon left over from my wedding (used as laces on my dress and also for my hair). I have a necklace-sized piece of that ribbon with a really secure knot holding it closed. If I have to take off my rings, I loop the ribbon through the ring and then back through itself, to hold the rings on, then wear it around my neck.

If I'm doing something more heavy-duty where I don't want the rings on me at all, I get my husband to wear the ribbon necklace or I hang it up in a specific secure place.

I recently cut myself right under my wedding rings and had to take them off for a week to let the area heal, because the rings kept re-opening the cut. I'm so used to having a ring on that it bothered me all week; I'd feel that the rings weren't there, but then I'd remember I had them around my neck and be reassured.

I recently had a brand-new necklace chain break the first time I wore it, while wearing a borrowed and precious pendant. (Luckily the broken clasp caught in my hair instead of falling off, and I didn't even know the chain was broken until I went to take it off at the end of the night. What a relief.) Aaaaaack. The ribbon seems like a much more secure option.
posted by galadriel at 6:37 PM on October 18, 2010

I do the thumb check -- again, started unconsciously. In my case, because my wedding ring is a big old hunk of metal. I advocate for gold because the first few weeks you'll feel the weight on your finger, and it then becomes a noticeable absence.
posted by freshwater at 9:23 PM on October 18, 2010

In nursing school we weren't allowed to wear jewelry. Our instructors told us if we had wedding rings and HAD to keep them with us, to safety pin them to our bras. (No, I don't know what the 3 male nursing students did with theirs.)
posted by IndigoRain at 12:14 AM on October 19, 2010

I have a 3-stone, so implemented Pineapple's suggestion to keep from gouging the sides of my fingers. Now, it's a handy check.

Another tip I have - if you're a fidgeter, consciously DO NOT FIDGET with your ring. Enlist your spouse if need be to notice for you. If you start that habit, you'll never stop.

I take mine off all the time, to sleep, shower, cook, swim, etc. I have a second, engraved-titanium ring for when I want to avoid risking the fancy/expensive one (like hiking). In this case, like many others, I make sure I consciously decide where to put it (and attempt to put it in specific places) and fix that in my memory.
posted by bookdragoness at 7:54 AM on October 19, 2010