How can I be a cool godmother?
September 21, 2010 5:37 PM Subscribe
My goddaughter is 3 and a half (she's made it very clear that the 1/2 is important) and so I'm now allowed to take her out by myself without parental supervision. But I'm clueless as to what I can do with her that she will enjoy and am looking for suggestions!
Our first "girls' day out" will be with her mother to a children's theatre, next week, which we're both really looking forward to.
But I want to be able to organise things just for the two of us - I just don't know where to start. While I'm sure her parents will be happy to come up with suggestions, I'd like to be a good godmother and come up with ideas of my own rather than rely on suggestions from the parents. I don't have kids of my own and my goddaughter is the oldest of my friends' kids so I have no-one to steal ideas from... Obviously I'd check anything with her parents first, but I'd really like to be able to suggest things rather than wait for them to make suggestions.
All I can come up with are petting zoos or local fetes (face painting and the like), or a session at a soft play area at a local leisure centre. But even with these ideas, I have no idea if these are age appropriate.
She's a real girlie girl - pink and princesses - but still likes jumping in puddles, playing in the garden and outdoorsy stuff too.
As well as the "what to do" question, a side question is how to deal with the "I want mummy / daddy" issues when I'm out with her by myself.
She's a sociable kid, she goes to nursery 3 days a week and loves it, has "playdates" at friends' houses on a regular basis, and her parents are very social so she's generally happy in new environments and with new people.
She knows me - I only see her about once every two months, but her parents talk about me and show her photos, and I send her postcards and the like in between visits - and when I see her, she recognises me and we have a great time together - I teach her dance moves to Abba songs and am a wizard with Playdough, and if I'm babysitting, she knows that she can push it a bit - one more bedtime story but only one more!.
But if we're out, and she gets upset, how do I deal with that? She's only done it once when I've been babysitting and that was fine as she was on home turf but I'm a bit scared about it just being her and me outside a "safe" environment.
Our first "girls' day out" will be with her mother to a children's theatre, next week, which we're both really looking forward to.
But I want to be able to organise things just for the two of us - I just don't know where to start. While I'm sure her parents will be happy to come up with suggestions, I'd like to be a good godmother and come up with ideas of my own rather than rely on suggestions from the parents. I don't have kids of my own and my goddaughter is the oldest of my friends' kids so I have no-one to steal ideas from... Obviously I'd check anything with her parents first, but I'd really like to be able to suggest things rather than wait for them to make suggestions.
All I can come up with are petting zoos or local fetes (face painting and the like), or a session at a soft play area at a local leisure centre. But even with these ideas, I have no idea if these are age appropriate.
She's a real girlie girl - pink and princesses - but still likes jumping in puddles, playing in the garden and outdoorsy stuff too.
As well as the "what to do" question, a side question is how to deal with the "I want mummy / daddy" issues when I'm out with her by myself.
She's a sociable kid, she goes to nursery 3 days a week and loves it, has "playdates" at friends' houses on a regular basis, and her parents are very social so she's generally happy in new environments and with new people.
She knows me - I only see her about once every two months, but her parents talk about me and show her photos, and I send her postcards and the like in between visits - and when I see her, she recognises me and we have a great time together - I teach her dance moves to Abba songs and am a wizard with Playdough, and if I'm babysitting, she knows that she can push it a bit - one more bedtime story but only one more!.
But if we're out, and she gets upset, how do I deal with that? She's only done it once when I've been babysitting and that was fine as she was on home turf but I'm a bit scared about it just being her and me outside a "safe" environment.
I have a very long memory. One of the best things my dad used to do with me at that age is tell me that he wanted to go out and "look for a NuGrape," and would I like to come along. A NuGrape is a grape-flavored soda that was getting hard to find back then (and isn't worth finding now because of HFCS). All he really meant by this was that he wanted to drive us around in the back country in his pickup, drop in on his friends, stop in little convenience stores to see what kind of pop they had, and basically just look for something to do. I loved it.
I would also suggest day hikes, with a picnic lunch, or fishing (catch-and-release freshwater).
posted by Countess Elena at 5:44 PM on September 21, 2010 [6 favorites]
I would also suggest day hikes, with a picnic lunch, or fishing (catch-and-release freshwater).
posted by Countess Elena at 5:44 PM on September 21, 2010 [6 favorites]
Petting zoos are great, or any zoo. Honestly, it doesn't have to be a Big Event to make a kid happy to be out on the town with a friendly adult. My first "day out" with a nephew was meeting a friend's dogs and going out to lunch. Another was a subway ride, a little shopping, and a boat ride. The big thing for kids is just being out "on their own", and having someone spoil them a little by letting them get that ice cream or whatever.
She's less likely to suddenly need parents if it's a shorter trip, but you can also let her know beforehand that her parents are a cell phone call away if need be. Sometimes that's all the reassurance kids need to Not have to call. And it you do have to call, You can also talk to the parent and ask for advice.
posted by ldthomps at 5:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
She's less likely to suddenly need parents if it's a shorter trip, but you can also let her know beforehand that her parents are a cell phone call away if need be. Sometimes that's all the reassurance kids need to Not have to call. And it you do have to call, You can also talk to the parent and ask for advice.
posted by ldthomps at 5:45 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
As an aunt of a 3 year old who sounds a lot like your goddaughter, I offer the following date suggestions:
- The Zoo. Lordy how my niece loves the zoo. If there is a carousel, so much the better. If there is face-painting offered, that's the definition of her perfect day right there.
- A children's museum -- emphasis on the things you can touch and play with and jump on, versus the walk around quietly and look at things type of museum.
- My niece loves a mani-pedi like you would not believe. I know, it's crazy to think of a 3 year old getting that, but she asks for it, her mom is a bit boggled about it. We blame the Brazilian nannies.
- Any place where a horse can be ridden, or ride in a cart pulled by the horse.
Don't feel like you have to sustain hours of activity, because a three year old is going to change their minds at the drop of a hat about what they do and do not want to do. Don't force anything, ask what she'd like to do ("Do you want to see the elephants next, or the giraffes?") so the kid has some illusion of control, and not just being led around. Also be mindful of hunger and potty breaks.
posted by contessa at 5:50 PM on September 21, 2010
- The Zoo. Lordy how my niece loves the zoo. If there is a carousel, so much the better. If there is face-painting offered, that's the definition of her perfect day right there.
- A children's museum -- emphasis on the things you can touch and play with and jump on, versus the walk around quietly and look at things type of museum.
- My niece loves a mani-pedi like you would not believe. I know, it's crazy to think of a 3 year old getting that, but she asks for it, her mom is a bit boggled about it. We blame the Brazilian nannies.
- Any place where a horse can be ridden, or ride in a cart pulled by the horse.
Don't feel like you have to sustain hours of activity, because a three year old is going to change their minds at the drop of a hat about what they do and do not want to do. Don't force anything, ask what she'd like to do ("Do you want to see the elephants next, or the giraffes?") so the kid has some illusion of control, and not just being led around. Also be mindful of hunger and potty breaks.
posted by contessa at 5:50 PM on September 21, 2010
I lean towards not making every day out a BIG EVENT. Take her to the park, and then for ice cream -- more time to hang out and have fun with each other.
Nonetheless -- this is what the back section of your newspaper is for -- nature center, zoo, children's museum, petting zoo, insect zoo, regular museum to see dinosaurs
posted by freshwater at 5:50 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Nonetheless -- this is what the back section of your newspaper is for -- nature center, zoo, children's museum, petting zoo, insect zoo, regular museum to see dinosaurs
posted by freshwater at 5:50 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Along the lines of i_am_a_fiesta's suggestion, paint each other's nails. Doing it yourself will give her the freedom to squirm around that might not go over so well getting a forreals manicure. And she will have a blast if she gets to paint your nails. Yeah, they'll look like crap, but you can always take it off when you get home. Maybe stop in a drug store and let her pick out her own color.
At that age I really liked climbing on things. Honestly, I think she'd have just as much fun at a regular old playground in a park as she would at a structured playplace. And at a park, you can hop on and play with her.
posted by phunniemee at 5:52 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
At that age I really liked climbing on things. Honestly, I think she'd have just as much fun at a regular old playground in a park as she would at a structured playplace. And at a park, you can hop on and play with her.
posted by phunniemee at 5:52 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Petco - or any local large pet store.
I'm serious. It's like a perfect zoo for a 3 AND A HALF year old. And it's free!
posted by NoraCharles at 5:53 PM on September 21, 2010
I'm serious. It's like a perfect zoo for a 3 AND A HALF year old. And it's free!
posted by NoraCharles at 5:53 PM on September 21, 2010
Do you have a local free paper like U.S. 1 in the Princeton NJ area or Creative Loafing in Atlanta? Those can be the best sources as they often list Kid/Family events. Even when you can't go to them, they can raise your awareness of the kinds of things that are out there (in fact, I would suggest looking through the US1 events for a couple of weeks for just that reason, even if you live nowhere near Princeton).
As far as specific activity types, I will throw a couple out for consideration: pottery (or other crafts) classes; museums; historical sites that you can read about ahead of time and tell her stories about while you are there; going to places you personally care about and explaining to her why; volunteering to talk to old folks at an old folks home...
posted by O Blitiri at 5:54 PM on September 21, 2010
As far as specific activity types, I will throw a couple out for consideration: pottery (or other crafts) classes; museums; historical sites that you can read about ahead of time and tell her stories about while you are there; going to places you personally care about and explaining to her why; volunteering to talk to old folks at an old folks home...
posted by O Blitiri at 5:54 PM on September 21, 2010
A lot of children like random wandering in nature checking out trees and mud puddles and flowers and weeds and clouds and birds. Bring along snacks, a blanket for a picnic, a story to read, paper and crayons. If you have an easy camera let her take pictures to show her parents what she saw.
posted by mareli at 5:55 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by mareli at 5:55 PM on September 21, 2010
Also, for what it's worth: don't feel as though you have to plan something different every time. Young kids love traditions, and she might enjoy forward to a fixed set of activities every time you guys get together. Just watch her reactions to the first few outings you plan, and if any one activity is particularly well-received, consider making that "your thing" to do together on godmother days.
posted by Bardolph at 5:57 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Bardolph at 5:57 PM on September 21, 2010
I have a three and a half year old daughter! She loves pink and sparkly things and stomping in mud puddles too! These are her very favorite things to do:
1. Go to a park. Get up on the equipment and play with her.
2. Zoo, or petting zoo. This can be done, as far as I can tell, an infinite number of times; there is no limit to the frequency with which she wants to go to the zoo.
3. Full-contact fingerpainting.
4. Full-contact cookie or cupcake decorating. (Feed her some real food first.)
5. Go to a park or a wilderness area and play the "colors game." (See if you can find something red, then something orange, then something yellow, &c. After you get to purple, then go to black, white, brown, and pink.)
Really, they're pretty easy to please. The biggest thing is to play with them.
posted by KathrynT at 5:58 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
1. Go to a park. Get up on the equipment and play with her.
2. Zoo, or petting zoo. This can be done, as far as I can tell, an infinite number of times; there is no limit to the frequency with which she wants to go to the zoo.
3. Full-contact fingerpainting.
4. Full-contact cookie or cupcake decorating. (Feed her some real food first.)
5. Go to a park or a wilderness area and play the "colors game." (See if you can find something red, then something orange, then something yellow, &c. After you get to purple, then go to black, white, brown, and pink.)
Really, they're pretty easy to please. The biggest thing is to play with them.
posted by KathrynT at 5:58 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
Simple stuff can be great. I took the four year old daughter of some friends of mine to a nearby pond and we quacked at the ducks. Then we counted the ducks. Then we named the ducks. Then we made up stories about the ducks. Then we quacked at them some more. Then we tried to get one of the ducks to eat some bread. Then we saw that there were fish in the pond.
The advantage of this sort of unstructured stuff is that you can make it as short or as long as you like. At that age I suspect that most of the fun is going to come from hanging out with someone new and having the attention focused on her.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 6:05 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
The advantage of this sort of unstructured stuff is that you can make it as short or as long as you like. At that age I suspect that most of the fun is going to come from hanging out with someone new and having the attention focused on her.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 6:05 PM on September 21, 2010 [3 favorites]
Nthing simple stuff. A day at a new playground can be OMG AMAZING for a kid, especially if they're social (yay new kids!) or have someone to play with (you!) I remember when my aunt took my sister and I to a playground we hadn't been to before and it was like Christmas morning times one billion. (Now I know it was less than half a mile from my parent's house, but we had always gone to our local park, so the new place was like Disney Land.)
Regarding the last comment...I used to get really really really really really really freaking excited over feeding ducks. So there's that, too.
posted by AlisonM at 6:26 PM on September 21, 2010
Regarding the last comment...I used to get really really really really really really freaking excited over feeding ducks. So there's that, too.
posted by AlisonM at 6:26 PM on September 21, 2010
Go out for tea! Wearing dresses. And hats.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:43 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
Yes, anything with ducks involved is excellent. Really.
posted by ovvl at 6:50 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by ovvl at 6:50 PM on September 21, 2010
I'd regularily take my daughter at that age to a new park. My city has little 3-4 city lot size play ground with a couple pieces of equipment and some grass. Not much different than the park three doors down but because it was new it was better.
Five pin bowling on rainy or very hot days. Or is that only available in Canada?
posted by Mitheral at 6:54 PM on September 21, 2010
Five pin bowling on rainy or very hot days. Or is that only available in Canada?
posted by Mitheral at 6:54 PM on September 21, 2010
Give her a choice sometimes. When I used to babysit a little guy about that age, sometimes we'd be bored and I'd take him out. I'd ask him where he wanted to eat and where he wanted to shop. If he needed help I'd give him a choice: "Should we go to Target or Walmart?" "Would you rather eat at McDonald's or Burger King?"
posted by IndigoRain at 6:57 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by IndigoRain at 6:57 PM on September 21, 2010
She's 3 and a half! Let her spend the afternoon rolling around with the dog. Show her how if you put a Kleenex on your finger and run around going "WoooooOOOOOOOooooo!" it looks like a FLYING GHOST! Turn on the hose in the backyard and make mud pies. Let her try on all your shoes.
Really, it's not that hard (and needn't be expensive or elaborate or even very well-thought-out) to entertain a 3 1/2 year old.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:06 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
Really, it's not that hard (and needn't be expensive or elaborate or even very well-thought-out) to entertain a 3 1/2 year old.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:06 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
How often are you going to see her??
Depending on the place you could go to the same place every time you see her and have it be "your" place.
Kids at that age normally like:
Playgrounds (indoor or outdoor)
Farms
Childrens museums
Zoo
Amusement parks
Aquarium
Ice cream
Petting Zoos
Arts and Crafts
Rainforest Cafes
Picnics
You could choose a restaurant that you go to every time for lunch.
You could also mention the area where you will be with her. Some body might have a specific place to suggest for you
posted by beccaj at 7:08 PM on September 21, 2010
Depending on the place you could go to the same place every time you see her and have it be "your" place.
Kids at that age normally like:
Playgrounds (indoor or outdoor)
Farms
Childrens museums
Zoo
Amusement parks
Aquarium
Ice cream
Petting Zoos
Arts and Crafts
Rainforest Cafes
Picnics
You could choose a restaurant that you go to every time for lunch.
You could also mention the area where you will be with her. Some body might have a specific place to suggest for you
posted by beccaj at 7:08 PM on September 21, 2010
TEA PARTY. Where my parents live there's a little tea house where you can go, have afternoon tea, and the best part: PLAY DRESS UP!
posted by LokiBear at 7:15 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by LokiBear at 7:15 PM on September 21, 2010
Less about activities & more need-to-know advice: As the parent of a 3 1/2 girly-girl, here's what I know regarding entertaining kids that age
1) Some kids are very social, some aren't. My kid is ALWAYS happier & better behaved out & about than in the house. Other kids get 'overstimulated' and really do better in familiar environments. If you don't know already, ask the parents whether you should plan to do out-and-about things or stick to the familiar. There's plenty of fun to be had in both settings.
2) Kids don't have the stamina that adults do. It may seem like they never get tired --they often run around like bumble-bees on speed & exhaust us just looking at them-- but there generally comes a point where they are suddenly non-functionally tired. Be aware what her tired symptoms are. With mine, she gets *completely* hyper (so more active, actually), but her cooperation levels/attention span drop to the point where getting her to do the simplest tasks (put your skirt on, focus long enough to do X for me) is maddening. This is not intuitive. Again, ask the parents what they know, and plan a day that can accommodate the child suddenly shifting gears and being unable/unwilling to proceed according to plan.
3) What you find interesting & will want to show the child will not necessarily be something she finds intersting/wants to discover. If the goal is "a fun day out," I find the best time comes from taking your cues from the child. A child can find something interesting and fun to do in prettymuch ANY situation, even if it isn't what you came to do or see. You can spend all your time prompting and prodding them or you can go with the flow.
4) For most kids, their attention span isn't great at that age. Long sessions of anything have a low success rate. However, they're often great at noticing things. Limited vocabulary or no, you can probably get some degree of dialogue going about what they're noticing and maybe even what they think of it.
Good luck, have fun. Also, my two best "have to wait, how do I keep the kid from going nuts" are (1) Eye Spy (if you don't know this one, you use your fingers to make "binoculars" around your eyes, make a show of looking around, and state, "I Spy With My Little Eye [insert highly visible object you think will interest them]." Ask if they see it. Help them out if they don't. Then it is their turn to make with the fingers & tell you what they see. (2) The other, provided the setting is correct & you have no interest in maintaining your dignity, is Ring Around the Rosy. (What, you didn't know it could be played with two people? Of course it can!) Lots of kids love hopping/skipping/dancing in a circle, and the part where all parties drop to the ground makes for delicious good fun. Repeat ad nauseum until your line moves/your transit of choice arrives.
posted by Ys at 7:40 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
1) Some kids are very social, some aren't. My kid is ALWAYS happier & better behaved out & about than in the house. Other kids get 'overstimulated' and really do better in familiar environments. If you don't know already, ask the parents whether you should plan to do out-and-about things or stick to the familiar. There's plenty of fun to be had in both settings.
2) Kids don't have the stamina that adults do. It may seem like they never get tired --they often run around like bumble-bees on speed & exhaust us just looking at them-- but there generally comes a point where they are suddenly non-functionally tired. Be aware what her tired symptoms are. With mine, she gets *completely* hyper (so more active, actually), but her cooperation levels/attention span drop to the point where getting her to do the simplest tasks (put your skirt on, focus long enough to do X for me) is maddening. This is not intuitive. Again, ask the parents what they know, and plan a day that can accommodate the child suddenly shifting gears and being unable/unwilling to proceed according to plan.
3) What you find interesting & will want to show the child will not necessarily be something she finds intersting/wants to discover. If the goal is "a fun day out," I find the best time comes from taking your cues from the child. A child can find something interesting and fun to do in prettymuch ANY situation, even if it isn't what you came to do or see. You can spend all your time prompting and prodding them or you can go with the flow.
4) For most kids, their attention span isn't great at that age. Long sessions of anything have a low success rate. However, they're often great at noticing things. Limited vocabulary or no, you can probably get some degree of dialogue going about what they're noticing and maybe even what they think of it.
Good luck, have fun. Also, my two best "have to wait, how do I keep the kid from going nuts" are (1) Eye Spy (if you don't know this one, you use your fingers to make "binoculars" around your eyes, make a show of looking around, and state, "I Spy With My Little Eye [insert highly visible object you think will interest them]." Ask if they see it. Help them out if they don't. Then it is their turn to make with the fingers & tell you what they see. (2) The other, provided the setting is correct & you have no interest in maintaining your dignity, is Ring Around the Rosy. (What, you didn't know it could be played with two people? Of course it can!) Lots of kids love hopping/skipping/dancing in a circle, and the part where all parties drop to the ground makes for delicious good fun. Repeat ad nauseum until your line moves/your transit of choice arrives.
posted by Ys at 7:40 PM on September 21, 2010 [1 favorite]
No one's mentioned bookstores! Find one with a big noisy kids' section.
Or better yet, take her to the library! Maybe they have a story hour there.
posted by storybored at 7:40 PM on September 21, 2010
Or better yet, take her to the library! Maybe they have a story hour there.
posted by storybored at 7:40 PM on September 21, 2010
My 3 1/2-year-old loves:
posted by belladonna at 8:09 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
- picking out books at the library & playing in their kids' area
- going to a coffee shop & getting her own drink (hot chocolate)
- wandering through the thrift store in search of the perfect princess dress/toy/book (she loves being told to pick out any toy she wants that's less than $3)
- all sorts of art projects (coloring, water colors, cutting magazines with scissors)
- playground! sandbox! swings!
- walking around the neighborhood & looking at birds/bugs/flowers
- digging in the garden & playing with worms
- walking around our local zoo
- feeding ducks!
- hide & seek
- looking at pictures online ("can you show me pictures of ponies/rainbows/dinosaurs?")
posted by belladonna at 8:09 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
I was going to suggest the nature hike, too, and add that it needn't be a nature hike, but can be a "nature hike." As in, this can be done in an acre or so of space -- we have city parks that would do, or in the burbs there are usually mini-wildernesses associated with nature centers and rec parks and the like -- because she can't walk so far anyway.
My just-turned-four-year-old son's favorite activity is the dinosaur (natural history) museum. Well, that, and riding a cardboard box down the hill in back of his cousins' house. If you can find a cardboard box and a steep hill, really, I vote for that.
Finally, my first day out with my niece, when I was 20 or so and she was 2 or so, she did a faceplant and lost half a tooth. So just know that even if she cries for Mom and Dad, you did a better job than someone on the internet.
posted by palliser at 8:10 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
My just-turned-four-year-old son's favorite activity is the dinosaur (natural history) museum. Well, that, and riding a cardboard box down the hill in back of his cousins' house. If you can find a cardboard box and a steep hill, really, I vote for that.
Finally, my first day out with my niece, when I was 20 or so and she was 2 or so, she did a faceplant and lost half a tooth. So just know that even if she cries for Mom and Dad, you did a better job than someone on the internet.
posted by palliser at 8:10 PM on September 21, 2010 [2 favorites]
You should also check with her parents about her bathroom routines. Three and a half is an age where they might still need a bit of help both in the bathroom and in thinking about whether to use the bathroom. If you are doing an activity where bathroom times will be limited (play or puppet show or longish train ride, etc) you'll need to think about bathroom both before and after. You can use the "just sit on the potty and count to 20" game if she insists she doesn't need to go.
posted by CathyG at 8:23 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by CathyG at 8:23 PM on September 21, 2010
Cheap rainy-day hangout: McDonalds/Other Fastfood venue with the indoor playground setup. Very fun, although some kids are nervous about tubes/being out of site/being high up. 3 1/2 is old enough to enjoy climbing them & going through the tubes & such, if you're willing to go with her the first time or ten. As with any activity of this type, should she appear to be fine on her own, be sure to keep an "ear out". Kids can be doing fine & doing fine & doing fine & then suddenly need help. Sometimes for the bizarrest reasons, and sometimes "just because."
posted by Ys at 8:56 PM on September 21, 2010
posted by Ys at 8:56 PM on September 21, 2010
Nthing mani/pedi. My goddaughter loves those. Also a big hit with her a few years ago when she was that age: playgrounds of any sort, public sculptures that lots of kids like to climb on (such as Alice in Central Park), snowballs, running back and forth down the block in front of our old apartment, anywhere that sells oversized lollipops, a monster truck rally (that's more of an age 5-6 thing, though), the exciting toast-your-own-smores at Cosi, pizza pizza pizza, kid movies (just barely, at that age, but it depends on the kid), fountains, sprinklers, puddles to jump into, helping the grown-ups with achievable tasks, walking around if and only if there are many diversions along the way to give her legs a rest, never being too far from a bathroom, always having books and snacks and a small stuffed animal in my bag for her just in case, those weird fake-Mickey-Mouse ride things in front of the candy store, the candy store, complaining about my need to stop for every stoop sale or table with books out on the street, singing made up silly songs together, beachcombing, sitting very carefully with her feet on the steps in the water at the pool, telling strangers something nice about how they look (on her own initiative), riding on shoulders instead of walking, visiting other friends to play with their kitties too.
Have fun! She doesn't really care what you do, as long as you're really truly present with her. And you sound like a great godmother who really loves her. That's one lucky kid!
posted by Eshkol at 8:59 PM on September 21, 2010
Have fun! She doesn't really care what you do, as long as you're really truly present with her. And you sound like a great godmother who really loves her. That's one lucky kid!
posted by Eshkol at 8:59 PM on September 21, 2010
Kite flying! (At that age, it's almost even more fun than a real kite if you "make your own" kite and "fly" it dorkily by running around in circles with it trailing a few metres behind you).
Seconding going to the park to play on the swings and feed (or watch) the ducks. Just keep a really close eye on her near the water.
A trip to the swimming pool if they have a little kiddy paddling pool.
A teddy bears' picnic in the park.
Children's theatre/music/storytime.
A trip to your house to bake cookies.
posted by lollusc at 9:04 PM on September 21, 2010
Seconding going to the park to play on the swings and feed (or watch) the ducks. Just keep a really close eye on her near the water.
A trip to the swimming pool if they have a little kiddy paddling pool.
A teddy bears' picnic in the park.
Children's theatre/music/storytime.
A trip to your house to bake cookies.
posted by lollusc at 9:04 PM on September 21, 2010
Oh, and as far as "I want mummy/daddy" freakouts go: if the parents can stay available by phone, calling them on your mobile so she can hear their voice might help.
And try to stick to short outings, at least at first, or places where it's easy to pack up and get home fast. Once she knows she can get back to mummy/daddy within a short time when she needs to, she'll probably be less anxious.
posted by lollusc at 9:06 PM on September 21, 2010
And try to stick to short outings, at least at first, or places where it's easy to pack up and get home fast. Once she knows she can get back to mummy/daddy within a short time when she needs to, she'll probably be less anxious.
posted by lollusc at 9:06 PM on September 21, 2010
This may sound a bit crassly commercial, might raise unrealistic expectations about buying things, etc, but it also might be worth a go...
Visit an Ikea store. Get the catalog beforehand and go through it together. Then go to the store and try the spaces and rooms and furniture out. Let her romp on the beds. Let her try to turn on the fake TVs. Try to decide on which curtains might look good in her room. See whether she wants to spend some time in the kids area.
If it gets too much, you can always do the long wiggly maze run to the exit, and maybe stop for meatballs on the way out.
posted by Ahab at 9:29 PM on September 21, 2010
Visit an Ikea store. Get the catalog beforehand and go through it together. Then go to the store and try the spaces and rooms and furniture out. Let her romp on the beds. Let her try to turn on the fake TVs. Try to decide on which curtains might look good in her room. See whether she wants to spend some time in the kids area.
If it gets too much, you can always do the long wiggly maze run to the exit, and maybe stop for meatballs on the way out.
posted by Ahab at 9:29 PM on September 21, 2010
If she's 3.5, and at all chatty- listen to her. Ask questions. If you go to the park or the zoo, teach her a song. An attentive adult genuinely interested in spending time with her and listening to everything she has to say for an afternoon makes the whole day awesome.
Oh, and have fun. Kids that age are awesome to be around.
posted by variella at 10:31 PM on September 21, 2010
Oh, and have fun. Kids that age are awesome to be around.
posted by variella at 10:31 PM on September 21, 2010
A lake or a beach (with toys) or a zoo or a stationary i.e decommissioned train car or just a park where you can roll gently downhill - these are all places my toddler niece and nephew loved. Bring snacks and know where the bathroom is.
Also, you don't have to be entertaining. Does your local library have story time and/or childrens' activities? Does the local museum have art classes for children? Does your local theatre or dance troupe offer classes for budding performers? A community garden group might have a clinic for new gardeners - your goddaughter might like grubbing around in the dirt and pulling up weeds.
posted by goofyfoot at 12:58 AM on September 22, 2010
Also, you don't have to be entertaining. Does your local library have story time and/or childrens' activities? Does the local museum have art classes for children? Does your local theatre or dance troupe offer classes for budding performers? A community garden group might have a clinic for new gardeners - your goddaughter might like grubbing around in the dirt and pulling up weeds.
posted by goofyfoot at 12:58 AM on September 22, 2010
But if we're out, and she gets upset, how do I deal with that? She's only done it once when I've been babysitting and that was fine as she was on home turf but I'm a bit scared about it just being her and me outside a "safe" environment.
Being prepared is the key here.
If you're going somewhere, pack her favorite cuddly toy in her little backpack (just make sure you never, ever lose it). Not to play with (seriously, you do not want to lose Mr. Bunny), it'll be for emergencies only, and let the kid know that before you head out. She might be a little nervous about going out with you alone, too, so she may appreciate knowing Mr. Bunny will be there for her should she need some extra emotional support. My own kids often insist I "fill up" their designated soother with hugs and kisses and give specific instructions to Mr Bunny to pass on those cuddles to my kids if they get unhappy when I'm not around. Mr Bunny always solemnly promises he will, and has so far proven himself trustworthy. Maybe your little friend's mom or dad could do the same. (Another option I've used is to give them my old, mommy-scented pashmina shawl to take with them in stead of a toy. Good for wiping off those tears, too.)
And if all hell breaks lose, first of all: just stay calm. It may really suck, especially since you're inexperienced with kids, and people may give you weird looks (those who do are probably also inexperienced with kids!), but it still isn't the end of the world and the child will not be permanently damaged by a bout of bawling or a temper tantrum. Don't give in to unreasonable demands, that'll just confuse the kid more. Don't be afraid to pick her up and cuddle her (or to restrain her from kicking/smashing things/thrashing about if things REALLY go awry), and after a little while of soothing, try to find something to distract her. "Oh look at that bird! Should we see if he'd like a little crumb of your sandwich?" (Somebody suggested phoning mommy/daddy, but in my experience, with a child this young that may sometimes make things worse if the situation is critical.)
And as other pointed out, watch out for signs that she's getting tired, hungry, cranky and/or overexcited. Avoid too much hyperactivity-inducing sugary stuff and any stimulus overload. Quite simple activities are very entertaining for a kid her age, and her attention span is probably still very limited, so keep it nice and relaxed and don't plan for a whole day of adventure.
posted by sively at 1:58 AM on September 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Being prepared is the key here.
If you're going somewhere, pack her favorite cuddly toy in her little backpack (just make sure you never, ever lose it). Not to play with (seriously, you do not want to lose Mr. Bunny), it'll be for emergencies only, and let the kid know that before you head out. She might be a little nervous about going out with you alone, too, so she may appreciate knowing Mr. Bunny will be there for her should she need some extra emotional support. My own kids often insist I "fill up" their designated soother with hugs and kisses and give specific instructions to Mr Bunny to pass on those cuddles to my kids if they get unhappy when I'm not around. Mr Bunny always solemnly promises he will, and has so far proven himself trustworthy. Maybe your little friend's mom or dad could do the same. (Another option I've used is to give them my old, mommy-scented pashmina shawl to take with them in stead of a toy. Good for wiping off those tears, too.)
And if all hell breaks lose, first of all: just stay calm. It may really suck, especially since you're inexperienced with kids, and people may give you weird looks (those who do are probably also inexperienced with kids!), but it still isn't the end of the world and the child will not be permanently damaged by a bout of bawling or a temper tantrum. Don't give in to unreasonable demands, that'll just confuse the kid more. Don't be afraid to pick her up and cuddle her (or to restrain her from kicking/smashing things/thrashing about if things REALLY go awry), and after a little while of soothing, try to find something to distract her. "Oh look at that bird! Should we see if he'd like a little crumb of your sandwich?" (Somebody suggested phoning mommy/daddy, but in my experience, with a child this young that may sometimes make things worse if the situation is critical.)
And as other pointed out, watch out for signs that she's getting tired, hungry, cranky and/or overexcited. Avoid too much hyperactivity-inducing sugary stuff and any stimulus overload. Quite simple activities are very entertaining for a kid her age, and her attention span is probably still very limited, so keep it nice and relaxed and don't plan for a whole day of adventure.
posted by sively at 1:58 AM on September 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
At this age, small activities in a row pay off well. Feeding ducks is going to loom as large as visiting the zoo. Teddy bear picnics or even a trip to Target to buy a new bouncy ball are heaven for my girls (4.5 and 2.5). Library visits rock. Playing fun youtube videos, especially of the cute pet variety, is gold. it's really the little things that make them happy.
Case in point: We spent about $60 on 2 tickets so my husband could take our 4YO to see They Might Be Giants, who have some great kid albums and who play a kid show in the afternoon if they pass through town. My daughter came home and to my "did you have fun?" replied....Oh, Mommy!!! There was PINK SOAP IN THE BATHROOM!!!!"
Nthing everyone who said to ask about potty breaks. But I would not ask, since my girls always say "no" if they are engrossed in play. Just say "It's time to sit on the potty!" or "Auntie Perdita needs to go potty, come on!" and bring a small storybook in case she has a shy bladder.
Oh, and take snacks, sippy cup, and a change of clothing for her, including socks, everywhere. I always keep a spare shirt in my bag for myself, too.
posted by mdiskin at 4:52 AM on September 22, 2010
Case in point: We spent about $60 on 2 tickets so my husband could take our 4YO to see They Might Be Giants, who have some great kid albums and who play a kid show in the afternoon if they pass through town. My daughter came home and to my "did you have fun?" replied....Oh, Mommy!!! There was PINK SOAP IN THE BATHROOM!!!!"
Nthing everyone who said to ask about potty breaks. But I would not ask, since my girls always say "no" if they are engrossed in play. Just say "It's time to sit on the potty!" or "Auntie Perdita needs to go potty, come on!" and bring a small storybook in case she has a shy bladder.
Oh, and take snacks, sippy cup, and a change of clothing for her, including socks, everywhere. I always keep a spare shirt in my bag for myself, too.
posted by mdiskin at 4:52 AM on September 22, 2010
Lots of good ideas here. The only one I can think of that hasn't been mentioned is a visit to a U-pick farm--they are especially great this time of year, as you can pick pumpkins and other seasonal stuff, and many have farm animals and other children's activities.
posted by drlith at 5:01 AM on September 22, 2010
posted by drlith at 5:01 AM on September 22, 2010
Got any 'bouncy house'-type places like Monkey Joe's around? My son loved 'em at that age and still does (he's now 5). They usually have a tiny tot section she could probably go in to warm up to the big stuff. Plus, you can have fun too...possibly.
posted by littleredwagon at 11:31 AM on September 22, 2010
posted by littleredwagon at 11:31 AM on September 22, 2010
Response by poster: Thank you all so much! So many fantastic ideas - I'm now off to do my research and get the dates in the diary...
posted by finding.perdita at 3:55 PM on September 25, 2010
posted by finding.perdita at 3:55 PM on September 25, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
Local nature center?
Kid's cooking class (or even just cooking/baking/cookie-decorating in your kitchen)?
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 5:44 PM on September 21, 2010