Is there a trick for calming baby kicks during a diaper change?

August 4, 2010 6:28 AM

Is there a secret baby whisperer technique for quelling baby kicks during a diaper change?

Our new little guy is preparing for a soccer career. He kicks like crazy through every diaper change. Is there a technique for diaper changing that decreases their kicks? Some kind of baby reflex that can calm their little legs? I assume if there was an easy trick it would be common knowledge, but then again, I'm new to this and don't have much common knowledge other than books and the internet.

posted by banjo_and_the_pork to Health & Fitness (29 answers total)

Is he kicking to enjoy the sensation, or kicking because he's upset?

When my son was new, we had a changing song (it went "A change will do you good..."). I'd put him on the pad and get his pants/onesie off or open, then hold contact and sing a few bars of the song before moving in for the change. This seemed to calm him down.

And it gets better! After a couple months you're unlikely to be peed on during the change, so you're less worried about constant vigilance, and your kid picks up on that.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:35 AM on August 4, 2010

I always changed diapers with one hand and held on to the legs with the other, particularly when they were smaller.

Babies wiggle. It's just the nature of the "beast".
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:46 AM on August 4, 2010 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: He's definitely kicking because he's upset. He probably doesn't like the feeling of being snug and warm and then having his lower half suddenly exposed.

I am scarily tone deaf but I like the idea of taking a pause to calm before diving into the change, I'm definitely a bit on edge doing it because I don't want him to pee on himself.

The peeing during the change stops eventually? Awesome!
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 6:46 AM on August 4, 2010

Best answer: Our 7-month baby does the same, with the added bonus that he can now roll over, pull himself into a crawling position, and race off across the floor in the space of two seconds. The whole thing sometime becomes a tug-o-war between an increasingly frustrated parent and a grumpy baby.

I don't know whether it's going to work, but I'm trying to do the following: every time he kicks/wriggles/rolls during a change, I gently hold him where I want him (and hold his legs if he's kicking) for a few seconds and say 'hold still' in a firm voice. At the moment he still kicks and wriggles when I let him go, but I'm hoping that after a few weeks of this he'll get the idea.

Another thing that often works is to put a soft toy on his belly for him to grab while I'm changing him. Maybe something to try when yours is older. Of course, by then you'll be able to put a diaper on him while he's running across the floor - it comes with practice.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 6:47 AM on August 4, 2010

I use changing time as a time to practice sounds, using lots of eye contact and engagement, it might be coincidence but I haven't had any kicking incidents and no pee incidents, going on six months.
posted by furtive at 6:53 AM on August 4, 2010

Hold *eye* contact, I meant to write above. And the toy on the chest is key.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:54 AM on August 4, 2010

hold legs.
posted by k8t at 6:56 AM on August 4, 2010

With our daughter there were two keys. The first was distraction. Like St. Alia, I always held both feet in one hand while I changed with the other, but I also gave her something to look at and/or do. When she was really little, I always sang songs. The second, as she was older, was consistency - to this day if we try to change her on the floor, she rolls over and crawls away. Change her on the bed (we have no changing station), she happily lays on her back and holds her feet up for us. It's like she understands what's going on there, but on the floor, well, the floor is for playing.

Also, even for little babies, I think it helps to tell them what you're doing in a calm voice.
posted by dpx.mfx at 6:57 AM on August 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

I found it really helpful to give them a small toy (or even an extra baby wipe, if a toy wasn't handy) before I took the diaper off. It distracts them and you can often get the change done before they remember to kick.

Also, as St. Alia says, mastering the "hold both ankles with one hand, wipe with the other" technique is key.
posted by EarBucket at 7:04 AM on August 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

Duct tape!

That's what I suggested to my brother after the first time I changed my nephew, but he didn't think it was such a swell idea. I would babysit fairly often, so I quickly learned the one-handed leg hold and wipe technique. It's tough at first because it feels like you're treating the sweet babe like livestock, but you get used to it. It still works even though he's now a monster-sized two year old who kicks and giggles during diaper changes because it's funny (and I think he loves Uncle CatPie's Stink Eye of On No You Didn't +1 ).
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:11 AM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Best answer: my daughter's changing table was next to a window. i got a mobile with a suction cup. i suction-cupped the mobile to the window so it hung right over her upper chest within arm's reach. she generally went straight for the mobile instead of being concerned about fighting me with her little legs. that said, i did hold her legs gently, like brought her movement to a still point, held it for a second or two while looking kindly but firmly into her eyes and then repeated that. while holding the other hand gently and warmly on her belly ...."be still". sometimes it worked. the mobile, however, worked most of the time.
posted by lakersfan1222 at 7:33 AM on August 4, 2010

Best answer: Banjo,

If it's a pee only diaper, try putting the clean diaper under the dirty diaper before removing it. Then whisk the dirty diaper off while holding the front of the clean diaper in place underneath it. Then you can quickly, quickly, quickly get his front bits covered up and put the tabs on either side. I've really found this works quite well, even with leg kicking.

If it's a poopy diaper, clearly that technique will not work. My baby-whispering daycare providers hold both legs sort of straight up and lift the baby gently by the legs and just wipe quickly. Then again, they have many more years of experience and one has much larger hands than I do. I could never do the two leg hold in one hand and wipe with the other because my hands are too small. I've found if I hold one leg up to wipe and then the other as needed that it works okay. Just try to keep as much of him covered as you can to keep him warm and happy.

Also, Dr.E and I may be up your way on Friday for a few hours again. I'll e-mail Robo once I know for sure, but I could possibly show you some of my diapering techniques in person if we are (also, I can bring you a pan of lasagna. Do you like lasagna?)
posted by zizzle at 7:34 AM on August 4, 2010

My experience is mostly with toddlers, not newborns, but the kicking is the same. Holding his legs with one hand (tough to do with a monster sized land-squid, probably much easier with a newborn) while diapering with the other works well - though it takes some practice. Also, talk to him in the most soothing way that you can to remind him that it's really ok and it'll be over soon. Even if it just calms *you* down, it'll help make the process smoother.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 7:35 AM on August 4, 2010

Best answer: Prep the fresh diaper and a few wipes first, then...
1. Lay baby down and work an opened clean diaper under his tush
2. Undo dirty diaper fastening
2. Grab baby by the ankles with your non-dominant hand and lift, high.
3. Quickly throw down a wipe to cover the poop in the soiled diaper, reducing the chances he gets poop on his legs if he gets away from you.
4. Quickly wipe the rest of the poop off his body
4a. If baby has enough strength and coordination to lift his hips, stiffen, arch and rotate, get your non-dominant forearm and elbow into action, aiming the elbow at his rub cage and gently but firmly work him down and back.
5. With baby still held up off diaper, consolidate messy diaper stuff and whip it out from under him
6. Lay baby's legs back down, still holding ankles
7. Work clean diaper front up between his legs
8. Move non-dominant arm firmly up to baby's front thighs as you awkwardly use both hands to fasten clean diaper.
posted by cocoagirl at 7:38 AM on August 4, 2010 [2 favorites]

When changing a boy's diaper, always put a cloth or clean diaper over his exposed penis. I learned this trick at 8 years old, the second time I changed my new little brother's diaper. (The first time I learned WHY we always put the washcloth over his penis.)

Also, do you use a diaper wipe or washcloth on him? If so, get a wipe warmer, or at least hold the wipe/cloth in your hands for a little while to warm it up. He may be objecting to the cold (well, cold compared to his body temperature) feeling of the wipe.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:40 AM on August 4, 2010

I developed a technique of holding both feet with one hand while doing everything else with the other. Works most of the time, once you've developed the muscles/technique. Our boy (now happily clicking away on his computer in the next room. This is History) was, however, smart and, er, funny. He quickly learned to anticipate my moves, and would gleefully try to put his heels right into the mess.
posted by Namlit at 8:05 AM on August 4, 2010

One hand holding the tiny legs (still doing it with my 15 month old) and one hand on the wipes. If there is still a lot of movement just give him something to distract.
Congrats!
posted by doorsfan at 9:02 AM on August 4, 2010

Singing a song, tone deaf or not, worked for me. Also, in moments of desperation, handing over the cell phone.

And we always gave her something to look at when she was little, like a piece of jewelry for her to ooh and ahh over while we took care of business.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 9:32 AM on August 4, 2010

Distraction is key here. This is why we keep a small cache of toys near the changing table.
posted by gnutron at 9:48 AM on August 4, 2010

I have a cousin who insists that the best way to deal with this is to put one of the baby's legs between your thigh/knees (assuming you're on the floor). I have never seen her do it, or had it adequately explained, but maybe you could figure this out.
posted by dpx.mfx at 10:05 AM on August 4, 2010

They also make this device which is the expensive and hilarious alternative to a clean diaper or washcloth over the danger zone.
posted by Cheminatrix at 10:09 AM on August 4, 2010

Toy on the chest worked with my little girl. Also singing "The diapers goooooo....down belooooooow" in the style of Tom Waits' Underground.
posted by Kafkaesque at 10:12 AM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

Get fast. I can change a completely disgusting diaper in about 13 seconds. You'll get better at it as time goes by, and he will only be sad for a short time.

Oh, and as far as the peeing goes, a washcloth should go down immediately after opening the diaper. I had three newborn boys at once, and never got peed on (after the first time, ha ha.)
posted by pyjammy at 12:20 PM on August 4, 2010 [1 favorite]

My daughter does the same, as did my son. Kicking is solved by grabbing the ankles with your free(er) hand, and rolling around/putting her hands where they shouldn't be during a Code Brown is solved by making sure that she has something of interest to play with (toy, TV remote, etc.)
posted by holterbarbour at 4:25 PM on August 4, 2010

Response by poster: Zizzle, that sounds awesome, do let us know if you're around and want to come by! Thanks everyone!! I've been trying the hold-legs-with-one-hand hold, but my hands are clumsy and small so the kicking propels them out of my grip. I will try many of these suggestions.
posted by banjo_and_the_pork at 7:45 PM on August 4, 2010

We hung a simple mobile made of origamis and thin dowels over the changing station. It moved in the slightest breeze and the kleine werkzeugerins were transfixed by it. Worked up to about seven months.
posted by werkzeuger at 9:07 PM on August 4, 2010

I've been trying the hold-legs-with-one-hand hold,

From my experience with the land squid, this is easiest when you hold the legs by the ankles in a sort of "pretzel" shape kind of floating above the "area." Hard to explain, but what I'm saying is mostly that you're not trying to hold the thighs or hold the legs out away from the body - if anything, you want to be holding the legs as close to the body as possible.

It takes practice, but if it can be done with a 40lb. toddler who is as strong as a locomotive, I have faith that you and West can master it! :)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:42 AM on August 5, 2010

Speed is of the essence when dealing with the wriggling. It helps to know ahead of time if it's a poopy diaper. If so, then have a couple of wipes already pulled out of the container.

Grab those legs like like the way they truss up a turkey. You can control a lot of the leg motion that way. That and you can lift the kid up by them (not totally off the surface, of course) as a means to reduce the wiggling. You must learn to switch hands while keeping the same grip on the ankles. Obviously you want to avoid too tight of a grip, but firm enough to keep control. With our boy picking him up that way leaves only his shoulders and head on the pad, thus eliminating a lot of his leverage from his hips or arched back. Remain calm and don't let frustration get the better of you. Be firm and maintain serious eye contact (of the 'stink eye' kind mentioned previously) should the wriggling start being deliberately challenging. I find it's useful to hold tight, stop the process and give him the deadpan stare should things get out of hand. Doesn't take more than a few seconds of 'that look' to get him to quit most of the wriggling.

Oh, and get ready for the bigger hassle of trying to put on shoes and socks while not getting kicked in the head.
posted by wkearney99 at 11:55 AM on August 5, 2010

I have a cousin who insists that the best way to deal with this is to put one of the baby's legs between your thigh/knees (assuming you're on the floor).

Baby ambrosia was a serious wiggler, and once he could roll over diaper changes were really a challenge. Until my sister demonstrated her trick: Change baby on the floor. Throw one of your legs over baby's torso and rest it gently on baby. No squishing, obviously! This gives you two free hands to take care of business quickly, while quite effectively keeping the little one firmly in place.

Obviously this is not a newborn baby hack, but for 3 months or so onward. For me, it was a lifesaver.
posted by ambrosia at 12:38 PM on August 5, 2010