A nice haircut without four hours of begging

June 19, 2010 9:45 AM

I live in London and I'm sick of my hair looking like a mess. Complication: I'm a girl, but I don't want a girl's haircut. At all. I just want a nice, smart gentleman's haircut with no stress and no questions asked.

What I've done in the past is either a) cut my own hair, very slowly, with clippers, or b) gone to the £7 places in Soho where they just process you as quickly as possible. But neither has given fantastic results, mainly because I don't really understand about hair enough to cut it well or tell someone in brief terms how to cut it well. Generally it starts off sticking up in a peculiar way at the crown, making me look like I have an odd alien head, and then over the next few months slowly migrates into Justin Bieber. I think I need someone who understands hair a bit to do some haircutting ju-ju to prevent the sticking-up-at-the crown issue, and it needs to be non-stressful so that I don't put off cutting my hair again for four months, and it doesn't end up quite so shaggy. But people who understand hair a bit generally want to take it upon themselves to give me the girliest hair they can within the confines of what I've described. I'm thinking in the whole wide capital city there must be someone who isn't going to do this. Where are they?

posted by Acheman to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (25 answers total)

Ask your male friends with good haircuts where they get their hair cut; you probably want a good barber instead of a stylist.

I (a guy) have curly hair which the barbers in the mens' shops seemed to have no idea what to do with -- they'd often try to comb it straight back and I'd end up looking like a bit character in the Sopranos. So I had much better results going to the girly hair salons instead.

Sounds like you're in the opposite situation. Find yourself one of those gruff ninety-year-old barbers who's never even heard of styling mousse.
posted by ook at 10:18 AM on June 19, 2010

I don't know if a standard barbers the best idea in London - they're not always the most open minded folk. Not saying they'd give any major problems, but there's a 70/30 chance it would be awkward or comical, and I guess you just want to get a haircut.

I'd say go to a stylist that focuses on men, but is a bit more forward thinking. I've never tried these but hear they're ok.

They're definitely men's but are gonna be trained stylists and all that.
posted by Not Supplied at 11:04 AM on June 19, 2010

Response by poster: Were I a guy, that's what I'd do, and I wouldn't be asking this question. Trouble is, some (though not all, I hope) of those gruff ninety-year-old barbers wouldn't be wholly appreciative of my non-gender-conforming ways, which would make matters a little stressful. The whole hair issue has been one I've got a lot of grief over, and the nervousness that resulted from this was one of the main reasons I wound up cutting my own hair (a very elaborate process which involved taking photographs of the back of my head with a mobile phone every few minutes to make sure I was doing it evenly) for a number of years. What I'd like to be able to do is walk into a place without feeling worried that I'm going to have to justify myself to them in some way. Is there anywhere that anyone knows where I could do this?
posted by Acheman at 11:09 AM on June 19, 2010

Response by poster: On preview, yeah, what Not Supplied said.
posted by Acheman at 11:10 AM on June 19, 2010

Find pictures of hair cuts you do like and bring them in. A good stylist (emphasis in the "good") will be able to tell you if the style you chose is appropriate for your hair/shape of your face. I used to fantasize about writing a book called "How to Talk to Your Hairdresser" because they speak a special language and half the time I didn't understand the terminology.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 11:13 AM on June 19, 2010

I don't really understand about hair enough to cut it well or tell someone in brief terms how to cut it well

I'm pretty sure no one understands hair enough to tell a stylist how to cut it. If everyone did, then everyone would be stylists. What I would suggest is that you bring in a picture or two or eight of the hairstyle you like. Show it to the stylist, talk about what you like about the pictures.

I don't see any reason a stylist would have a problem cutting your hair short like a man's, but you'll likely have to spend more than £7 for it. A good stylist will hear you out and give you the feeling you want, but you have to be clear that you want something very masculine.
posted by rhapsodie at 11:17 AM on June 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

What about going to the Vidal Sassoon Academy for a hair cut? I'm pretty sure it's less than 10 pounds and I would think they would be very open to giving a short, sleek man-style cut. Contact number - 0207 318 5202
posted by munichmaiden at 11:29 AM on June 19, 2010

Agreeing with everyone above that a good stylist can help you out--the frustrating part is finding a good stylist. Is there a salon where the young hip folks go to get their hair cut? I've found that places catering to a more offbeat crowd are much more understanding of non-gender-conforming styles than are the sort of place where they act like you're some kind of barbarian if you don't use a flatiron.

Look around, is there a salon where at least two stylists have a buzzcut/pink hair/multiple tattoos? They will probably be able to help you. They will probably not be cheap. Once I resigned myself to expensive haircuts, I was able to stop bringing a hat with me to cover up whatever horrors the inexpensive stylists wrought.
posted by corey flood at 11:29 AM on June 19, 2010

I wouldn't ask this if you hadn't mentioned gender nonconformity, but do you / can you pass? If you can, I agree the barber is your best bet. When I do this I often get guff about how young I look, but a rueful comment about how I've never been able to grow a decent beard usually defuses things.

Step two is to know what to say to the barber. I think clipper guard numbers are the same in the US and the UK, so here's what I ask for: #3 guard around the back and side, blended into an inch or so long on the top (I usually actually say "just long enough so it lies flat"). Over the ear, no sideburns, straight across the back. I'm due for another cut or I'd post a picture so you know what that gives you, but it's a pretty basic short cut.
posted by dorque at 11:57 AM on June 19, 2010

I've had a very short haircut, as short as a man's. It was more of a pixie thing then a trying to have a gentleman's haircut thing. However, I got my hair cut by a really edgy place by a stylist that I know would have no problem if I came in and said, "I want a gentleman's haircut." Don't go to a strip-mall place (or whatever you call strip-malls in England). You'll have to pay more (no idea how much in London, probably a lot more than where I live). However, find some edgy stylist that's all tatted up and doesn't give a fuck about alternative choices. Bring a picture of what you want. This part should be easy if you just want a straightforward, traditional man's haircut.
posted by ishotjr at 11:57 AM on June 19, 2010

There's plenty of edgy stylists that don't give a fuck if you want to go this route.
posted by Not Supplied at 12:03 PM on June 19, 2010

Also, to prevent the sticking-up-at-the-crown issue you might need to get it cut more often than you think. I have a short gentleman's do, and it needs trimming every 6 weeks. I often stretch it out to every 7 or 8, and it starts looking like it was chewed by a woodland creature. Every 6 weeks to keep it smooth and neat. I am not sure from your question how often you are getting it cut, but I get the impression that it might be less often than that.
posted by Hushpuppy at 12:06 PM on June 19, 2010

How are the gay neighborhoods wrt barbers? Here in SF we've got a handful of barbers in the Castro who I'm guessing wouldn't bat an eye at a request like this.
posted by mollymayhem at 12:07 PM on June 19, 2010

I'm going to make a rather un-PC suggestion. Considering the number of lesbians I know who have traditionally-masculine haircuts, it's pretty obvious that they're getting their hair cut somewhere. My suggestion would be to go to a lesbian bar, find a woman who's hair appeals to you, tell her you love her hair and ask her where she's getting her hair cut. Simple!

(on preview: what mollymayhem said)
posted by deadmessenger at 12:15 PM on June 19, 2010

One of my friends who tends to have cropped hair goes to Karen at Beaucatcher and likes what she does. Others (including me) go to Hair by Fairy in Covent Garden, which has the added benefit of being very cheap and I'd think you'd be pretty unlikely to get any gender-related shit in there. I've always been happy with what they do, but all I generally ask of them is that they make my messy, layered bob an inch or two shorter each time.
posted by corvine at 12:43 PM on June 19, 2010 [2 favorites]

Hudson's guide has a great section on men's short haircuts and terminology which is written for trans guys but might give you some ideas on what to ask for as well as finding a style that works well with your face shape/hair type.
posted by Wuggie Norple at 12:44 PM on June 19, 2010

There's a lot of overthinking going on, you need to go to a good, trendy, and expensive salon and ask for what you want, you will pay much more than 7 pounds. Bring a picture of what you want for good measure. A good stylist will be able to do it, you may have to ride their ass a bit to make sure that they follow through. Munichmaiden's suggestion also works if you want to pay less, but the results are less guaranteed.
posted by stratastar at 1:34 PM on June 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

I used to go to a male men's stylist. This stylist specialized in men's hair. He made an exception and did my hair, since I was getting a male hairstyle. I had a very short layered cut, it was very masculine, not a girl's cut at all. I agree about bringing a picture and going to a high-end stylist, perhaps one that specialized in men's hair. The picture should be of men with the hairstyle you want.

I have wicked cowlicks, so if the stylist does not know what they are doing, I end up with hair sticking up all over at odd angles. (FWIW, right now I have very long hair.)
posted by fifilaru at 2:19 PM on June 19, 2010

What about going to the Vidal Sassoon Academy for a hair cut? I'm pretty sure it's less than 10 pounds

£4.50 if you get a voucher from the Metro, but will only do weekdays, and will take all afternoon. I have been there.
posted by mippy at 4:39 PM on June 19, 2010

Bring a picture! Any hairdresser worth their scissors should be able to recreate the nice, smart gentleman's haircut you like. My advice would be, first, find some reference material for what you want. I wouldn't be too concerned about taking a picture of a dude in to a hairdresser if that's what you want. Second, find a good hairdresser. I find the best way is to just ask people whose hair you like. Third, when you find this good hairdresser, ask them how to style it and what products to use. Be honest. If all you're interested in is putting a bit of product on your fingers and slicking them through your hair, they should be able to cut it in such a way that it will look good with that much effort.

I'm very femmey in my style (bra-strap length wavy red hair), but I have been through some Hairdresser Drama in my time, and I've learned that visual aids and finding a great hairdresser can really help. Good luck!
posted by nerdfish at 5:34 PM on June 19, 2010

Beaucatcher in Stoke Newington IS awesome!
posted by ozgirlabroad at 5:35 PM on June 19, 2010

Oh, and if you're worried about getting a girly haircut perhaps you could look for a queer-friendly salon? My hairdresser is a handsome, gentlemanly queer woman, and I've seen her do great short cuts, but she's also great with long hair (as in, she understands what a 'trim' is!). I'm in Melbourne, sadly, otherwise I'd send you to her!
posted by nerdfish at 5:37 PM on June 19, 2010

Are you sure no barbershop will do it? I go to the local barbershop to have my hair cut as no "beauty" shops will cut my hair as short as I like it.
posted by SuzySmith at 8:17 PM on June 19, 2010

Nthing a salon in a gay neighborhood or one that caters to a punk crowd. I have short hair, I like to keep it relatively butch, and most stylists want to make me more feminine. I have to reassure them that they cannot cut it too short. Wear butch clothes, even if you can't or aren't interested in passing as a guy. Act confident, be assertive, don't leave until you get what you want.
posted by desjardins at 3:08 PM on June 20, 2010

Might I recommend Fish in Soho? Basically they're great for just doing exactly what you want and not trying to be on trend (while still knowing what's in). They're also very gay friendly so aren't at all fussed by gender norms. For what it's worth I did the opposite, I'm a boy and asked for a girl's hairstyle and they just did exactly what I said and it looked great. It's more than £7 though, more like £35.
posted by iivix at 3:37 AM on June 21, 2010