Damn girl, you're a sexy chick.
April 15, 2010 8:11 AM Subscribe
I can't dance. Help!
I am a college-age woman in the US who has recently started going to clubs with my female friends. So far, the only guys who've wanted to dance with me have been weird, and it's pretty easy to get rid of them. But I realized that I won't know what to do if an attractive guy actually wanted to dance with me. I'd be absolutely ok with that, except that I have utterly no clue how to dance in a sexy way without being slutty. Right now I usually stick with my group of friends and try not to attract attention to myself. What am I supposed to do if I want to dance with a guy? I don't really want to grind too much, but I do want to dance well and not turn him off with my clumsiness.
Do you have any youtube videos, tips, websites, etc., that could help?
(Anonymous because it's pretty clear from my profile who I am)
I am a college-age woman in the US who has recently started going to clubs with my female friends. So far, the only guys who've wanted to dance with me have been weird, and it's pretty easy to get rid of them. But I realized that I won't know what to do if an attractive guy actually wanted to dance with me. I'd be absolutely ok with that, except that I have utterly no clue how to dance in a sexy way without being slutty. Right now I usually stick with my group of friends and try not to attract attention to myself. What am I supposed to do if I want to dance with a guy? I don't really want to grind too much, but I do want to dance well and not turn him off with my clumsiness.
Do you have any youtube videos, tips, websites, etc., that could help?
(Anonymous because it's pretty clear from my profile who I am)
Taking almost any kind of dance class will increase your general confidence and coordination, or a hiphop fitness class, for that matter.
Most people do not "know how to dance." Most people are out there faking it, having a good time. Dancing was no fun at all for me until I realized that probably no one was looking at me and I just relaxed and did whatever felt right as the music played. But, classes as above or just generally improving your coordination will help if you can't relax and let go (which I totally understand, I was at least 22 before I figured out how to not feel like a total dork).
Bonus: if you are just doing your own thing with your friends and look like you are having fun, if a guy notices you, it's probably because you're relaxed and having a good time, not because you are killing it on the dancefloor. You don't have to do much more than avoid falling down in order to impress a guy, unless you're talking about Justin Timberlake.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:37 AM on April 15, 2010
Most people do not "know how to dance." Most people are out there faking it, having a good time. Dancing was no fun at all for me until I realized that probably no one was looking at me and I just relaxed and did whatever felt right as the music played. But, classes as above or just generally improving your coordination will help if you can't relax and let go (which I totally understand, I was at least 22 before I figured out how to not feel like a total dork).
Bonus: if you are just doing your own thing with your friends and look like you are having fun, if a guy notices you, it's probably because you're relaxed and having a good time, not because you are killing it on the dancefloor. You don't have to do much more than avoid falling down in order to impress a guy, unless you're talking about Justin Timberlake.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:37 AM on April 15, 2010
The truth is, a lot of times no one at the club really cares how well anyone's dancing. It's crowded and most people are drunk. If a guy thinks you're attractive enough to get near, he probably won't mind if all you do is the stand-in-one-place-and-move-your-hips thing.
Other than that, observe what other people are doing, practice at home with a mirror and an iPod, and go in there believing you are the hottest thing on the dance floor, because in a club environment confidence is more important than talent.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:41 AM on April 15, 2010 [6 favorites]
Other than that, observe what other people are doing, practice at home with a mirror and an iPod, and go in there believing you are the hottest thing on the dance floor, because in a club environment confidence is more important than talent.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:41 AM on April 15, 2010 [6 favorites]
haha as a dancer i can tell you that what happens in clubs is NOT dancing. there just isn't enough room! usually it's just wiggling along to the music, trying not to hit other people. just relax. as other people have said above, most people in clubs are drunk and don't care anyway, as long as you're having a good time you'll look good :) if it's that you want to attract a guy, remember, nothing is more attractive than confidence!
posted by raw sugar at 9:05 AM on April 15, 2010
posted by raw sugar at 9:05 AM on April 15, 2010
One of those secret dancing weapons is the box step. That gives your feet something to do while you focus on moving your hips to the beat, which is the most important part of regular people dancing. Then you kinda do whatever you feel like with your arms. Boom, you're dancing.
posted by klangklangston at 9:19 AM on April 15, 2010
posted by klangklangston at 9:19 AM on April 15, 2010
The best dance advice I ever read was "Women dance with their hips. Men dance with their shoulders".
Breaks down to the following:
Men - find the beat, a small two-step, and then rock the shoulders
Women - find the beat, then shake your ass.
The key for you is to find out how much ass shaking you like, but there is a big spectrum there, from gently hip swaying to the big booty bounce.
posted by I am the Walrus at 7:59 AM on April 16, 2010
Breaks down to the following:
Men - find the beat, a small two-step, and then rock the shoulders
Women - find the beat, then shake your ass.
The key for you is to find out how much ass shaking you like, but there is a big spectrum there, from gently hip swaying to the big booty bounce.
posted by I am the Walrus at 7:59 AM on April 16, 2010
Dancing is merely shifting your body weight from one foot to the other in time the beat. It's easy.
posted by dydecker at 9:55 PM on April 16, 2010
posted by dydecker at 9:55 PM on April 16, 2010
This thread is closed to new comments.
You could try classes - I've been doing swing dance (lindy hop) this last year. I've got 2 left feet and it's been surprisingly fun and easy, and in about 6 months I'm already able to follow what's going on and string a few moves together. Lindy is probably no use if you're going to techno nights, but it's helped me with listening to the music and catching the beat in other genres.
posted by handee at 8:21 AM on April 15, 2010