About a bitch

January 19, 2010 8:14 AM

I'm learning English. Here is a phrase from the film"The holiday". Just after having a good sex.A man says,"So you're totally great..Oh."And a woman says,"Yeah.This is a bitch." The question is, what does "This is a bitch." mean? My old American Slang dictionary by Chapman says, .."Anything pleasant or admirable=beaut,humdinger" So could you show me some examples,how do you usually use it this way?And do you both younger and older people say it often? I know this bitch is an offensive way of referring to a woman,especially an unpleasant one..or it means a thing that causes problems or difficulties,though.
posted by mizukko to Writing & Language (32 answers total)

In this context, saying "This is a bitch" means that it's good (the sex was good, she likes this guy) but that the situation is complicated or difficult for some reason. I would almost say that it's similar to "bittersweet" but without the element of wistfulness that "bittersweet" would imply.
posted by Medieval Maven at 8:18 AM on January 19, 2010

"This is a bitch" means "this is a difficult or unfortunate sitaution."
posted by Perplexity at 8:19 AM on January 19, 2010 [10 favorites]

It's a little difficult to determine the context of the quote from your question. Bitch can have lots of different meanings depending on context. It's sometimes used to refer to an unpleasant or difficult situation, or a predicament or dilemma.

For example: "My car broke down on the way to work today and all of the repair shops were closed. Isn't that a bitch."
posted by ludwig_van at 8:22 AM on January 19, 2010

Yeah, "this is a bitch," would usually be a way of describing a difficult situation. "I had a bitch of a day," would mean that I had a terrible day. I suspect your slang dictionary might be referring to the adjective "bitchin'" or "bitching" which describes something good. If I had a terrific day, I would say, "I had a bitchin' day!" This usage is a little dated, though. Both terms are casual, because, as you said, the word "bitch" by itself has offensive connotations.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:22 AM on January 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

I agree that your slang dictionary is out of date... I would never use "this is a bitch" to have positive connotations. I would say it means "This sucks" (assuming that's a slang you understand?) -- presumably in the movie it's bad that they like each other for some reason?
posted by brainmouse at 8:23 AM on January 19, 2010

ooh, on failed preview, I agree that your dictionary is probably referring to "bitchin" which would have a very different meaning that "this is a bitch"
posted by brainmouse at 8:24 AM on January 19, 2010 [4 favorites]

Best answer: In this context, I would say that the phrase "This is a bitch" indicates that the character is really conflicted about the situation. IE, that she enjoyed the sex, but that there's some complicating factor. I've never seen the movie, but a quick scan of the subtitle file indicates that the couple don't actually live close to each other, making a future relationship difficult.
posted by muddgirl at 8:25 AM on January 19, 2010

also -- i advise you not to use "humdinger" to describe something "beautiful" unless you're being ironic or funny.
posted by fullofragerie at 8:33 AM on January 19, 2010

They Might Be Giants, "Alienation's for the Rich":

And the TV's in Esperanto
You know that that's a bitch

This is an inconvenient and bothersome situation.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:37 AM on January 19, 2010 [2 favorites]

Another place where people use "bitch" in this manner is the phrase, "Life's a bitch, and then you die."

Basically, the word "bitch" in this context could be replaced with other slang terms like "sucks". "This sucks" or "life sucks, and then you die".
posted by muddgirl at 8:42 AM on January 19, 2010

or it means a thing that causes problems or difficulties,though.

You got it right there. It sounds like you may have just misinterpreted the context of what was going on in that scene.
posted by jckll at 8:59 AM on January 19, 2010

Best answer: The second definition you cited is correct in this context. “This is a bitch” refers to a difficult, unpleasant, or objectionable situation. In the movie scene, the characters have had enjoyable sexual encounters and have become interested in pursuing a relationship, but there are emotional and physical barriers that make it difficult. The female character has recently left an unfaithful partner and lives in the US. The male character is a widower with two young children and lives in England.

Examples:
- English is a bitch to learn as a second language. The slang is difficult to understand.
- I did well on my Genetics exam, but my Physics exam was a bitch—I didn't know the answers to at least half of the questions.

Both younger and older people use the phrase, but some may consider the phrase vulgar.
posted by skenfrith at 9:03 AM on January 19, 2010 [2 favorites]

Have you heard the expression "this sucks"? It has much the same meaning, only it's a milder term that would be more suitable to use in front of, say, your religious boss, or children.
posted by orange swan at 9:05 AM on January 19, 2010

FWIW...

- Your slang dictionary seems hopelessly out of date. I had a similar problem when I lived in Paris and picked up a French slang dictionary- it makes you sound quaint, not modern.

- Be careful about picking up this phrase in your personal conversation. "Bitch" is a loaded word (it's mainly used as a derogatory comment about women), and a lot of people don't take kindly to its increasingly common usage.
posted by mkultra at 9:05 AM on January 19, 2010 [3 favorites]

I think non-native speakers of English (or anyone learning a foreign language) should remember that sometimes movies and books are poorly written - the dialog may not make any sense whatsoever.

But "This is a bitch" means a difficult situation.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:09 AM on January 19, 2010

I know this bitch is an offensive way of referring to a woman,especially an unpleasant one..or it means a thing that causes problems or difficulties,though.

Yup, sounds like you got it already. These are the main two standard usages of "bitch" in current US slang. I've never heard "bitch" used to describe a situation positively.
posted by Metroid Baby at 9:12 AM on January 19, 2010

"Bitch" when it refers to a person, specifically, is a derogatory term which has unpleasant connotations about women (a "bitch" technically is a female dog, and the term is most often used to describe an aggressive woman, though lately has become more gender non-specific but still should be avoided in mixed company as a lot of people are really offended by it).

In this instance, it just refers to an unpleasant situation. The term "bitch" could be avoided by saying any number of other things (i.e., "This really sucks") but it's not as loaded as it is when used to refer to a person.

And yes, "This is a real bitch" always refers to a bad situation and not to something awesome (which is "bitchin'" - yes, English is weird.).
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:21 AM on January 19, 2010

I am a 35 year old American woman and I would not say this to my mother or my boss. I might say it to my husband or close friends. I would never call a person a bitch.

Also, the verb "to bitch" means "to complain" or to tell someone you are upset in an passive-aggressive (not good) way.

She is always bitching about work.
I called to tell him that I would be late, and he bitched me out.
I am sick of hearing your bitching about your boyfriend.
All you do is bitch.
If I don't do it her way, she will bitch about it.
posted by desjardins at 9:28 AM on January 19, 2010

Here is one more definition: "bitch" is a humiliating term for a man. It suggests he is weak and powerless. It is often used to refer to a woman's husband to imply that he does whatever she wants. This is a very offensive usage. "Passive" or "submissive" would be better words, but it is better not to comment at all.

I'm sorry English is so full of different meanings for the same word! :(
posted by desjardins at 9:42 AM on January 19, 2010

Just after having a good sex. A man says,"So you're totally great..Oh."

Also, I wouldn't say "having a good sex". "Just after having had some great sex" I think would be better.
posted by I_pity_the_fool at 9:44 AM on January 19, 2010

"Bitch" alone is somewhat less potent/offensive than "son of a bitch" (which is probably considered vulgar by most people) but it's still not something that you would use in polite company. On the other hand, in the "life's a bitch"/"that's a bitch" form (not necessarily the "she's a bitch" form though) it would not be out of place at all between two close friends in an informal or casual setting.
posted by Rhomboid at 9:52 AM on January 19, 2010

At this risk of turning this into a discourse on the politics of language...

The use of "bitch" in referring to a situation is no less insensitive than referring to a woman directly as one. The implication of "that's a bitch" is "this is as unpleasant as a being with a [woman] bitch". To "bitch" about something is to complain too much and too dramatically, like the stereotypically "bitchy" woman.
posted by mkultra at 10:16 AM on January 19, 2010

Was she being sarcastic? A lot of American humor is based on sarcasm.
posted by anniecat at 10:18 AM on January 19, 2010

You'd be better off never using this phrase. Bitch is just not a safe word to use, and if your English is not 100% perfect there's a big chance that you'll use it wrong and offend someone. Also, I don't really ever hear anyone say that -- although it's "current," it's just not used enough to try to learn to say it properly.

Bitch is not "slang," it's a curse/swear-word. Even though you'll hear it in movies and even on TV, it's just not a necessary word to use. But mostly it means "a mean or angry woman," so saying "something is a bitch" means "this situation is bad, just like a mean/angry woman."

If something is bad and you want to use slang, say that "it sucks," although even that I wouldn't say in front of old people, small children, or very religious people, since the origin of the phrase I imagine comes from "sucking dick" or something (right, English-speakers?).

Never say that something "is bitching" unless you're making fun of a bad 1980s movie.

"Beaut" and "humdinger" are SO outdated. Do not ever say those words.

You really, really need a new slang dictionary. Otherwise, use something like Wiktionary (see #8), which is updated regularly by modern-day English speakers.
posted by thebazilist at 10:24 AM on January 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Was she being sarcastic?

No. She's saying that it's "a bitch"--an annoying and difficult situation--that she and he have such a good romantic and sexual connection when they live in different countries.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:32 AM on January 19, 2010 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Bitch has many definitions. Here are several (from Wordnik):

1. noun female of any member of the dog family
Example: "Our bitch just had puppies."

2. noun Slang. informal terms for objecting; a complaint.*
Example: "Her bitch about that restaurant is that it costs too much."

3. noun Offensive. a person (usually but not necessarily a woman) who is thoroughly disliked.
Example: "I hate Amanda. She's such a bitch."

4. noun Slang. an unpleasant difficulty
Example: "Today has been a real bitch."

5. verb Slang. say mean things*
Example: "He was bitching about his roommate's hygiene."

6. verb Slang. complain
Example: "Don't just bitch and moan; fix things yourself."

7. noun Offensive. A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
Example: "My mom thinks Hillary Clinton's a bitch because she tried to take control when Bill Clinton was president."

8. noun Offensive. A lewd woman.
Example: "That bitch goes around wearing almost nothing."

9. noun Offensive. A man considered to be weak or contemptible.
Example: "He always does what she tells him to. He's such a little bitch."

10. verb Slang. To botch; bungle. Often used with up.*
Example: "Well, we really bitched that up, didn't we?"

*These definitions and usages are ones that I myself have never used, and haven't seen in general usage. This doesn't mean they don't exist, but they might be regional or outdated.

You can see that there's lots of variation in the word; and these don't even include the positive sense of "bitchin'" that other people were talking about above. Most of the time, it's offensive, or at the very least, so slangy that you would only use it in very casual conversation with peers.
posted by ocherdraco at 10:33 AM on January 19, 2010

"Bitchin" in Valley-speak meant something great.
posted by DieHipsterDie at 2:16 PM on January 19, 2010

The only time 'bitch' should be used is when talking to yourself or others and saying 'Aint that a bitch', which essentially means 'I can't believe this just happened'
posted by jasondigitized at 8:18 AM on January 20, 2010

Response by poster: Well,now I found the another page in my dictionary...,"it's a bitch(or bitch kitty)":sentence.The thing referred to is very impressive,very difficult,very complicated,very sad,or in some other way extraordinary:(ex)She shook his knee playfully."It's a bitch,isn't it?"--Armistead Maupin/The last couple of laps are a real bitch kitty....I don't understand the nuance of this example,but maybe in this film,she wants to explain the same feeling as this phrase..???
This dictionary also says,bitch:(n)Anything pleasant or admirable :(ex)I just read his new book,and it's a bitch. ...What do you think about this example?
Then it says about"bitchen":Good,excellent,supperior.I know
bitch and bitchen are different.Thank you.
posted by mizukko at 10:34 AM on January 20, 2010 [1 favorite]

This dictionary also says,bitch:(n)Anything pleasant or admirable :(ex)I just read his new book,and it's a bitch. ...What do you think about this example?

I think you need a new dictionary. I don't think I've ever heard the word "bitch" used this way. If someone said that about a book, I'd assumed that it was really long, difficult, and probably needlessly complex.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:36 AM on January 20, 2010 [1 favorite]

The last couple of laps are a real bitch kitty....I don't understand the nuance of this example,but maybe in this film,she wants to explain the same feeling as this phrase..???

This must be "The last couple of laps are a real bitch, Kitty" where Kitty is a woman's name. Otherwise it makes no sense at all - "bitch kitty" is not a phrase I have ever heard before.
posted by desjardins at 11:45 AM on January 20, 2010

I've thought of another positive context! Could the woman have said "you son of a bitch"?

Conventionally, "you son of a bitch" is an insult (by referring to one's mother as 'a bitch'), or a general exclamation, like when you hit your thumb with a hammer, you could shout "son of a bitch!" You could possibly say it after great sex, to indicate approval.

But it's also used as an ironic term of affection, implying that the s.o.b. is wild or out of control, but in an admirable way, or that the friendship is so close you are able to say something that would normally be offensive. "That was amazing, you crazy son of a bitch". This could be entirely appropriate thing to say to a man after sex.

'Son of a bitch' is a milder version of 'motherfucker', in those uses.
posted by cogat at 2:46 PM on January 20, 2010