I don't watch Without A Trace anymore.
September 30, 2009 8:04 AM Subscribe
Have you ever attempted to find someone who went missing many many moons ago?
Back in February 1992 my father disappeared. A missing persons report was filed. My family did a lot of legwork, talking to everyone in our neighborhood, trying to find something out. They looked through countless albums of recently deceased people and even went to see a psychic. I was 11 yrs old and don’t really know what I was thinking at the time. It makes more sense to me that he was killed, rather than he just decided to go away.
Some relevant information: The neighborhood is East New York, Brooklyn. Think New Jack City, Rikers Island, drugs, drugs, and more drugs.
My father was a small time drug dealer, with a habit to support, in and out of prison. I was being raised by my grandparents. My mother was in the same lifestyle and wasn’t a part of my life at that point. She died during this same time period. They were not together and hadn’t been for years.
While this is something I have always thought about, it is also something that I never really dealt with. During a “Without A Trace” marathon I decided to check out the FBI website. I sent them an email and they actually responded but said that they don’t deal with those kinds of cases. I started googling and came across sites like http://www.doenetwork.org and http://www.hartisland.net/wwwebs/.
I contacted the records department, the police department where the initial report was filed and was basically told that back then everything was paper and either way they don’t keep files that long. I realize that this is such a long shot and I don’t really have any expectations. But there are probably other possible options that I haven’t considered. If you were going to attempt to find someone long missing, how would you go about it? Where else should I be looking? Who else should I be talking to? What kinds of questions should I be asking?
Some relevant information: The neighborhood is East New York, Brooklyn. Think New Jack City, Rikers Island, drugs, drugs, and more drugs.
My father was a small time drug dealer, with a habit to support, in and out of prison. I was being raised by my grandparents. My mother was in the same lifestyle and wasn’t a part of my life at that point. She died during this same time period. They were not together and hadn’t been for years.
While this is something I have always thought about, it is also something that I never really dealt with. During a “Without A Trace” marathon I decided to check out the FBI website. I sent them an email and they actually responded but said that they don’t deal with those kinds of cases. I started googling and came across sites like http://www.doenetwork.org and http://www.hartisland.net/wwwebs/.
I contacted the records department, the police department where the initial report was filed and was basically told that back then everything was paper and either way they don’t keep files that long. I realize that this is such a long shot and I don’t really have any expectations. But there are probably other possible options that I haven’t considered. If you were going to attempt to find someone long missing, how would you go about it? Where else should I be looking? Who else should I be talking to? What kinds of questions should I be asking?
Wired posted an article by the title of "Gone Forever: What Does It Take to Really Disappear?"
It was quite interesting. The best tip I saw on there was to put up some sort of personal website with your name, which should of course be familiar to your father. Maybe put up some personal albums, stories about your life, what you've been up to. Update regularly. And then track the IP Addresses that come there. Granted he's alive, one of the regular visitors could be him. COULD. If you put up an email address, he MAY contact you. But it would probably not help to make your site into some sort of "Missing person" site. Just keep it innocuous and about you. Then be very patient. 5, 10, 15, years from now. Who knows?
posted by fairykarma at 8:26 AM on September 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
It was quite interesting. The best tip I saw on there was to put up some sort of personal website with your name, which should of course be familiar to your father. Maybe put up some personal albums, stories about your life, what you've been up to. Update regularly. And then track the IP Addresses that come there. Granted he's alive, one of the regular visitors could be him. COULD. If you put up an email address, he MAY contact you. But it would probably not help to make your site into some sort of "Missing person" site. Just keep it innocuous and about you. Then be very patient. 5, 10, 15, years from now. Who knows?
posted by fairykarma at 8:26 AM on September 30, 2009 [4 favorites]
I'd track down his close friends and blood relatives (mom, dad, siblings, other children?) and ask them if they know where he is, and even leave a message with them to forward in case he gets in touch. If he went to college, I'd contact their alumni association. I'd plug his name into zabasearch. I'd try a doing a search on his SSN in the social security death master index too.
Then I might try a private investigator, but most of what they would do, I believe, is replicate the above on paid databases that, if you're motivated enough, you could find and search yourself.
posted by zippy at 8:29 AM on September 30, 2009
Then I might try a private investigator, but most of what they would do, I believe, is replicate the above on paid databases that, if you're motivated enough, you could find and search yourself.
posted by zippy at 8:29 AM on September 30, 2009
If you can get a sympathetic Social Security worker on the phone, you can at least find out if he's deceased. If he's paying into, or drawing, benefits, they'll know where he is, and a really sympathetic Social Security telephone operator might tell you--off record--which states, how many, they have hits on him for (I know someone who determined his father was alive--and skipping around the US--precisely this way).
posted by availablelight at 8:38 AM on September 30, 2009
posted by availablelight at 8:38 AM on September 30, 2009
If you know his first and last name, check the Social Security Death Index. It is a free and public search. You do not have to know his social security number. However, if he has been listed as deceased for more than 6 months, you should be able to find a listing here.
If there is any possibility of him being alive, your searches for him may be complicated a bit if he has changed a single digit in his date of birth. My father was able to hide from us for several years by changing his DOB on his drivers license by one year, making it seem that he was a year older.
If his name is a common name, you'll need to use lots of exclusions in your google search. For example, my father's name is similar to a professor. I use things like "-Latin" in my Google search.
If your father is alive and if he's living on a cash only basis, you'll have a much harder time tracking him down. Your best bet is to check DMV records.
Good luck. I totally understand wanting to know what happened. Unfortunately, you may never find an answer. In my case, my father did decide to just disappear. I sometimes think it would have been easier if he had died. I was able to eventually track him down and did meet him. He continues to live his life to try and make it hard to find him.
posted by onhazier at 8:38 AM on September 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
If there is any possibility of him being alive, your searches for him may be complicated a bit if he has changed a single digit in his date of birth. My father was able to hide from us for several years by changing his DOB on his drivers license by one year, making it seem that he was a year older.
If his name is a common name, you'll need to use lots of exclusions in your google search. For example, my father's name is similar to a professor. I use things like "-Latin" in my Google search.
If your father is alive and if he's living on a cash only basis, you'll have a much harder time tracking him down. Your best bet is to check DMV records.
Good luck. I totally understand wanting to know what happened. Unfortunately, you may never find an answer. In my case, my father did decide to just disappear. I sometimes think it would have been easier if he had died. I was able to eventually track him down and did meet him. He continues to live his life to try and make it hard to find him.
posted by onhazier at 8:38 AM on September 30, 2009 [3 favorites]
I am sorry for your double loss. If it was a drug buy gone bad someone that was also selling drugs may have some info. Can you go in person to the police station and set up an appointment with someone working the drug patrol? They may be able to give you names of officers that served at the time and have since retired or moved elsewhere. The other option would be to ask who were the big dealers at the time and if they are in prison write them a polite letter explaining the situation. I wouldn't hold out much hope for that but maybe they heard rumours. Your best bet is to try and track down his friends at the time but that is going to be very hard. You haven't been hard to find (he knows his own parent's names and addresses) so I think it is more likely he is deceased rather than voluntarily missing.
(What the hell with the police not keeping paper records for 15 years? That seems really sloppy for a police department that may need that information in a current case).
posted by saucysault at 8:43 AM on September 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
(What the hell with the police not keeping paper records for 15 years? That seems really sloppy for a police department that may need that information in a current case).
posted by saucysault at 8:43 AM on September 30, 2009 [2 favorites]
You can find some criminal records here.
posted by Houstonian at 9:18 AM on September 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Houstonian at 9:18 AM on September 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
If he is alive, living in the US and not hidden away, whether voluntarily (e.g.. total drop-out, monk) or involuntarily (e.g. prison), he will show up on Zabasearch. It will cost you but may be worth it. I have amazed friends with how much I have been able to find out about them from this site.
posted by TheRaven at 9:42 AM on September 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by TheRaven at 9:42 AM on September 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
If you decide to try out a detective or something, I suggest checking out freelancesecurity.com. Basically, you advertise what you want, and different people will bid on the job. A few years ago, I tried it out when looking for a friend I'd lost touch with, and had contact info in a matter of hours. Kind of a cool site!
posted by Jinkeez at 11:36 AM on September 30, 2009
posted by Jinkeez at 11:36 AM on September 30, 2009
my brother disappeared in 97 or so. my mom found him 5 or 6 years later with a private investigator. i believe his social security number was the key to the puzzle. (he should have stayed lost, but that's neither here nor there - except to warn that you might not like what you find)
go over your own records - do they have any details that might help track him down (place of birth, parents names, siblings, SSN, was he ever in the military, were you parents married? was there a witness?)? you might find a friend/former addict who knew your father who might have some idea about what happened next. does the county he disappeared in keep john doe records? does he have any tattoos or markings that will help exclude people?
good luck.
posted by nadawi at 12:33 PM on September 30, 2009
go over your own records - do they have any details that might help track him down (place of birth, parents names, siblings, SSN, was he ever in the military, were you parents married? was there a witness?)? you might find a friend/former addict who knew your father who might have some idea about what happened next. does the county he disappeared in keep john doe records? does he have any tattoos or markings that will help exclude people?
good luck.
posted by nadawi at 12:33 PM on September 30, 2009
onhazier: "If you know his first and last name, check the Social Security Death Index. ...if he has been listed as deceased for more than 6 months, you should be able to find a listing here."
That's definitely good advice, but if you don't find his name there, it doesn't mean much. I've looked up relatives who I know died and not found their names, even though I've put in all the right information.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:00 PM on September 30, 2009
That's definitely good advice, but if you don't find his name there, it doesn't mean much. I've looked up relatives who I know died and not found their names, even though I've put in all the right information.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:00 PM on September 30, 2009
Large databases are full of errors - purple monkey dishwasher in numbers. Zabasearch has combined me with at least two other people (not related) one of whom is more than twice my age.
But if you are searching, you have to be ready to handle a few dead ends along the way.
Good luck.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 5:26 PM on September 30, 2009
But if you are searching, you have to be ready to handle a few dead ends along the way.
Good luck.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 5:26 PM on September 30, 2009
Look up your dad's birth certificate. It should have his mom's name, possibly his dad's too, along with their address when he was born. Then track down mom, dad, and neighbors at that address. Go to the local high school, find him in the school yearbook, photocopy the yearbook, and track down friends on Facebook.
In the neighborhood on the birth certificate, there may be some old-timers there who still remember him or his parents. Ask them about your dad, what he was like, where he traveled, where he went to school, where the parents live now (if they're still alive), recursively follow this tree until you hit only dead ends.
This may take a lot of time, and may not give you the answers you want.
posted by zippy at 6:46 PM on September 30, 2009
In the neighborhood on the birth certificate, there may be some old-timers there who still remember him or his parents. Ask them about your dad, what he was like, where he traveled, where he went to school, where the parents live now (if they're still alive), recursively follow this tree until you hit only dead ends.
This may take a lot of time, and may not give you the answers you want.
posted by zippy at 6:46 PM on September 30, 2009
Also, do a Google News Archive search for the local newspapers around the time of your dad's disappearance. Look for stories of unidentified bodies, deaths, and, more obviously, anything matching your dad's name.
posted by zippy at 6:48 PM on September 30, 2009
posted by zippy at 6:48 PM on September 30, 2009
I'm sorry about your loss and i understand how enormous this undertaking is. As a PI I have a few thoughts that might be of help. Definitely think about hiring a PI to run a basic database search on your dad - the professional databases are much more accurate than anything on the Internet. It should not be expensive and it might give you a quick answer about where he is. That would be a best-case scenario, though, and realistically might not happen. So if the databases don't turn him up, what you will want to do is to gather all the information you possibly can about your dad circa 1992 and earlier and build off that information. You want to get as complete a picture as possible. I don't know if you contacted the police by telephone or with a letter, but you will want to make a formal written public records request to the department for all information they have relating to your father. 1992 was not that long ago and it is entirely possible that there are old records around somewhere that a proper written request will dislodge. Go down to the local courthouse and look for cases under your father's name, copy them if there are any, and look for lawyers, co-defendants, etc, names of people who knew him back in the day and might be willing to talk to you about what they remember and what they know now. You'll want to do written public records requests to the local coroner too (sorry, i hope that is not too difficult to hear), to the police for any unsolved crimes during that time period, to see if anybody turned up who might have been your dad, and to the jails for your dad's records there too. The idea isn't to look for anything in particular, just to gather all the information you can. When you have it, read through it and look for patterns, addresses, associates, activities, anything that gives you a clue about who he was dealing with, what he was up to, where he was spending his time. Then use that information to figure out your next step. You will probably want to think about going back to the people your family talked to right after he disappeared and see if they have something different to say now - people might have been scared then, or overwhelmed, and it could have been too much for them to get into. Now that time has passed they could be more helpful. Ask them for pictures, for their recollections of your dad, for information about who he was hanging out with, all that stuff. Again, take it all back and look at it as a whole and see where it leads you to next. The key is to be patient, to be thorough, and to keep believing that the answer is out there somewhere. I hope this works out for you - it's a difficult thing, and you have my best wishes.
posted by hazleweather at 8:27 AM on October 1, 2009
posted by hazleweather at 8:27 AM on October 1, 2009
Response by poster: Thank you for all of the advice. My grandparents on my fathers side raised me. Even though it is not something that we talk about I think that I should be able to get a social security number. My grandparents still live in the same house – my fathers last known address, where I was raised. I worry that the reason my grandparents won’t move is because they are holding out hope that he will show up there one day.
I’ve got some old pictures of him so I will look out for any tattoos. He definitely had a few. One of my uncles who used to run around in the same circles would also probably be willing to help me out. Unfortunately so many of the people they knew were in and out of jail as well, and so many ended up HIV+.
If any of you have personal recommendations for a PI, then I am open to that option as well -even if I have to save up for a while before I can do it. Thanks again.
posted by mokeydraws at 10:09 AM on October 1, 2009
I’ve got some old pictures of him so I will look out for any tattoos. He definitely had a few. One of my uncles who used to run around in the same circles would also probably be willing to help me out. Unfortunately so many of the people they knew were in and out of jail as well, and so many ended up HIV+.
If any of you have personal recommendations for a PI, then I am open to that option as well -even if I have to save up for a while before I can do it. Thanks again.
posted by mokeydraws at 10:09 AM on October 1, 2009
« Older How do I drill a small hole in an enamel-covered... | Will a Fraternal Organization Help Me Land a Job Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by orrnyereg at 8:18 AM on September 30, 2009 [1 favorite]