SexPositionFilter
July 22, 2009 3:47 PM Subscribe
My male partner can only reach orgasm in one sexual position. This doesn't bother me, but I think it would be fun to experiment and see if we can change things up. NSFW.
I am 25 years old and female, he is 30. We've been dating for about a month. When we have sex we usually start out with missionary, change a few times (we've tried me on top and doggie style) and we finish with him on top and my legs lifted up so they are against his chest and my ankles on his shoulders. He has told me that this last one is the only position that he can come in. I think he likes it because of how tight it makes me. I'm looking for other fun positions we can try out, just to see if there's some other way he can orgasm. All suggestions are appreciated. Thank you!
I am 25 years old and female, he is 30. We've been dating for about a month. When we have sex we usually start out with missionary, change a few times (we've tried me on top and doggie style) and we finish with him on top and my legs lifted up so they are against his chest and my ankles on his shoulders. He has told me that this last one is the only position that he can come in. I think he likes it because of how tight it makes me. I'm looking for other fun positions we can try out, just to see if there's some other way he can orgasm. All suggestions are appreciated. Thank you!
It could be because of the tightness, or it could be due to where his penis is touching you with the most amount of pressure. Men tend to have "sweet spots" that lead towards easier/faster/more regular orgasm and areas of the penis where, while pleasurable, won't get them off.
If you watch him masturbate, you may see where he's focusing his hand's attention on himself, and work out more positions where you know that part is getting the most friction.
posted by xingcat at 4:11 PM on July 22, 2009
If you watch him masturbate, you may see where he's focusing his hand's attention on himself, and work out more positions where you know that part is getting the most friction.
posted by xingcat at 4:11 PM on July 22, 2009
In the late 1960s, zoologist Desmond Morris published his ground breaking book, The Naked Ape in which he discussed, among other topics, a number of human evolutionary adaptations for face-to-face sex, that were so notably different in humans, than the norms for even very closely related primate relatives on the evolutionary tree, as to stand out immediately to a person of scientific training, who could imagine discovering the human race as a new species, altogether. His take on the matter is that human sex is heavily biased for face-to-face performance.
Accordingly, your guy might be getting maximum stimulation from you in his preferred position, and to get to him to regularly and willingly try other things, you may need to recognize this, and offset any reduction in his enjoyment in new positions, with some increased stimulation in those positions. This doesn't have to be direct genital stimulation, it can simply be responding to him more vocally in other positions, or doing things like praising him for his willingness to experiment. If you get off better by being on top, his payoff may simply be the pleasure of watching you get off more regularly or faster in that arrangement.
Whatever you do, don't make the search for alternate positions such a primary part of your sex life that it becomes mainly an acrobatic exercise, rather than love making.
posted by paulsc at 4:35 PM on July 22, 2009
Accordingly, your guy might be getting maximum stimulation from you in his preferred position, and to get to him to regularly and willingly try other things, you may need to recognize this, and offset any reduction in his enjoyment in new positions, with some increased stimulation in those positions. This doesn't have to be direct genital stimulation, it can simply be responding to him more vocally in other positions, or doing things like praising him for his willingness to experiment. If you get off better by being on top, his payoff may simply be the pleasure of watching you get off more regularly or faster in that arrangement.
Whatever you do, don't make the search for alternate positions such a primary part of your sex life that it becomes mainly an acrobatic exercise, rather than love making.
posted by paulsc at 4:35 PM on July 22, 2009
Good golly, this is a popular position on the Green lately.
Try:
-Spooning with your legs crossed
-You on top, leaning back on your hands
-Sitting on his lap with your legs close together, both on the same side of him
posted by oinopaponton at 4:40 PM on July 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
Try:
-Spooning with your legs crossed
-You on top, leaning back on your hands
-Sitting on his lap with your legs close together, both on the same side of him
posted by oinopaponton at 4:40 PM on July 22, 2009 [1 favorite]
Prostate massage and lube and get a good book. He'll come.
posted by Freedomboy at 4:52 PM on July 22, 2009
posted by Freedomboy at 4:52 PM on July 22, 2009
relax and slow down... pressing changes only creates tension... the transition will be slow and caring...
posted by HuronBob at 5:36 PM on July 22, 2009
posted by HuronBob at 5:36 PM on July 22, 2009
Wikipedia's preferred position seems to be this one. Trying to get it right can be a bit amusing initially, but worth the effort.
posted by jessamyn at 8:10 PM on July 22, 2009
posted by jessamyn at 8:10 PM on July 22, 2009
There are two basic answers to this question. First, yes, there are other positions that give the intense friction that he needs to come. The positions linked by jessamyn and Harry'sDad are two great examples; you can also try things like missionary sex with your legs clamped together and his legs outside yours, or face down on the bed with your legs together. Lots of options, and which work will depend on how your bodies are shaped and how flexible you are. (Luckily, this is something where you win by trying, so start experimenting!)
Second, there's the question of whether your partner might be causing a need for that intense friction by masturbating often and with a tight grip. You might find that if he mellows out a bit on his personal sex life that your sex life together can improve. It's certainly worth a try (or at least a discussion), but don't start acting like he's all abnormal and weird. He's not, and lots of guys enjoy and sometimes need the intense friction from specific positions.
posted by Forktine at 5:36 AM on July 23, 2009
Second, there's the question of whether your partner might be causing a need for that intense friction by masturbating often and with a tight grip. You might find that if he mellows out a bit on his personal sex life that your sex life together can improve. It's certainly worth a try (or at least a discussion), but don't start acting like he's all abnormal and weird. He's not, and lots of guys enjoy and sometimes need the intense friction from specific positions.
posted by Forktine at 5:36 AM on July 23, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 3:54 PM on July 22, 2009