Monty Python themed dinner menu
November 29, 2004 7:47 AM   Subscribe

I am hosting a Monty Python and the Holy Grail dinner party for which I will be creating a printed menu. I need help naming the entres in a Monty Pythonish way. HELP!
posted by punkfloyd to Food & Drink (43 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Do you know what you're serving already? Or are you looking for suggestions on that?
posted by Alt F4 at 7:54 AM on November 29, 2004

I'm assuming you'll have Spam?

How about listing something, say an appetizer or dessert, as "a pair" (like, ice cream and two cookies) and only putting one on the plate? If anyone comments, just cover up your eye with a hand and say "Oh, yes. Of course."

Can you get albatross meat anywhere? Or just serve chicken and call it albatross? Serve some wafers with it. Or not.
posted by bondcliff at 7:56 AM on November 29, 2004

Two words: rat recipes.
posted by mcwetboy at 8:05 AM on November 29, 2004

And don't forget the crunchy frog.
posted by bondcliff at 8:08 AM on November 29, 2004

"'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This chicken is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the platter 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-CHICKEN!!"

(Perhaps obvious, but I figured I'd throw it out there)
posted by Johnny Assay at 8:08 AM on November 29, 2004

Also, salmon mousse and wafer-thin mints.
posted by Johnny Assay at 8:09 AM on November 29, 2004

You should name the salad simply "Bruce."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:10 AM on November 29, 2004

Two words: "and spam"
Just put that after every dish name.

"Venezualan Beaver Cheese"

Make sure you also have some crumpets and tea, but that's more of a Britishism than a Pythonism really.

Also have some fish ready, in case anyone needs to do a fish-slapping dance.

(and while not a dish, serve with dirty forks. And if anyone complains, apologize profusely and then kill yourself).
posted by mkn at 8:12 AM on November 29, 2004

Cheese and cracker plate with no cheese on it. Just make up a bunch of excuses why you don't have any.

"The cat's got it."
posted by bondcliff at 8:14 AM on November 29, 2004

A fine bottle of Cabo San Woggawogga would go well with the Venezuelan Beaver Cheese.
posted by briank at 8:22 AM on November 29, 2004

Any fowl can always be "a dead parrot."

Warn them from having everything on the menu as well. And stay away from the wafer thin mint.
posted by filmgeek at 8:23 AM on November 29, 2004

Serve aquatic tarts.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:26 AM on November 29, 2004 [1 favorite]

I have just read this thread and now I am reading this thread.

Very confusing.
posted by Frasermoo at 8:34 AM on November 29, 2004

Don't forget the ham and jam (and spam-a-lot)!
posted by fish tick at 8:36 AM on November 29, 2004

What are you serving? It would be so much easier if we knew.

Budgies with Shrubberies and Spam (chicken and brocolli over rice). Serve drinks or dessert in brass grail-like goblets.
posted by iconomy at 8:37 AM on November 29, 2004

It would seem fitting if the dessert somehow incorporated coconuts. Just be sure to save the shells.

God help me, the very first thing that popped into my head was "Silly English (chicken) k-nnnnnuggets!"
posted by icosahedral at 8:39 AM on November 29, 2004

Swallow and coconut soup? An African swallow, of course.
posted by veedubya at 8:46 AM on November 29, 2004

Response by poster: You guys rock. By the way, we are serving bread, cheese, salad, beef stew, chicken, potatoes, seasonal vegetables, dessert will be tarts/cakes/cookies.
posted by punkfloyd at 8:53 AM on November 29, 2004

For appetizers: moules marinières, pâté de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs Benedictine, tart de poireaux, frogs' legs amandine, or oeufs de caille Richard Shepherd-- c'est à dire, little quails' eggs on a bed of puréed mushroom.
(It's very delicate. Very subtle.)

But if you wanted to stick to just Holy Grail references... There's always: Rabbit of Caerbannog.
posted by Hanover Phist at 9:01 AM on November 29, 2004

I think the dessert should be a wafer thin mint
posted by soplerfo at 9:02 AM on November 29, 2004

The one time it is okay to quote python!

She turned me into a newt

Huge tracts of land

It is the bunny rabbit.

Fechez la vache
posted by O9scar at 9:48 AM on November 29, 2004

Call the salad course "Teddy Salad".
No blancmange for dessert?
posted by plinth at 10:32 AM on November 29, 2004

Don't forget Robin's minstrels.
La Vache.
Perhaps a migratory coconut desert is in order.
posted by mervin_shnegwood at 10:50 AM on November 29, 2004

I have a SubAskMefi question. Is there some sort of a cultural phenomenon of Monty Python and the Holy Grail dinner parties? Because I seriously expected to read a bunch of responses consisting of "what the fuck are you talking about?" Instead, as a testament to the friendliness of Mefi, there are a bunch of helpful responses.

Am I missing out on something here?
posted by waldo at 10:51 AM on November 29, 2004

What, no elderberries? Jam (for the bread) or a sweet sauce (to pour over the desserts) would be nice, I would think. I've never had it, but I hear it's yummy.

And I just want to say that this is a way-cool idea for a dinner party.
posted by Asparagirl at 11:02 AM on November 29, 2004

Elderberry wine.

And yes, the beef stew obviously has to be [whatever "stew" is in French] a la vache.
posted by tracicle at 11:07 AM on November 29, 2004

Please don't forget to fill those golden grails with refreshing quantities of animal food trough water.
posted by fish tick at 11:12 AM on November 29, 2004

You're not serving any sweeties like "Crunchy Frog" or "Lambs Bladder Cup" from the Whizzo Chocolate Company?...
posted by bawanaal at 11:35 AM on November 29, 2004

In the tradition of The Cheese Shop you could not have Red Leicester, Tilsit, Caerphilly, Bel Paese, Red Windsor, Stilton, Ementhal, Gruyere, Norweigan Jarlsburg, etc., etc.

Of course, you will run the risk of being shot, but you knew that.
posted by tommasz at 12:14 PM on November 29, 2004

Have some bouzouki music going. Vassilis Tsitsanis represent.
posted by kenko at 1:15 PM on November 29, 2004

You could go for the obvious and wash it all down with this.
posted by HyperBlue at 1:28 PM on November 29, 2004

I'd like to know what the menu's going to be printed on, and if there's going to be medieval decor or food prep. This is such a great idea. See Gode Cookery for some authentic recipes (and just general ideas for serving/presentation), and this site has a great collection of free medieval fonts, for printing your menu, as does this site.

Waldo, I don't think many of us have ever heard of a Holy Grail dinner party before. I know I never have. It was just obvious to us that punkfloyd was hoping that we'd come up with in-jokish references for food from Monty Python movies/tv shows, most notably the Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie. So, nope, you're not missing anything, except punkfloyd's party.
posted by iconomy at 1:32 PM on November 29, 2004

Response by poster: THANKS ICONOMY! And thanks to everybody else for the clever ideas.

I am going to just use my HP inkjet printer and some specialty paper. Maybe tear the edges and/or roll up into a scroll. I plan to get as much food as I can from an English grocer called the British Emporium right here in my hometown (deep in the heart of Texas). Maybe I'll get some Spotted Dick.
posted by punkfloyd at 1:46 PM on November 29, 2004

Well! I wasn't expecting the Spanish Rice Inquisition!

hah?! Haaah?! . . . enhhh.
posted by petebest at 1:50 PM on November 29, 2004

Well! I wasn't expecting the Spanish Rice Inquisition!

::snort:: Well, I laughed.
posted by ChrisTN at 2:06 PM on November 29, 2004

Fine print for the Crunchy Frog: "We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose."

Attila the Bun. Prawn Salad. Cockroach Cluster. Blancmanges playing tennis. Anything with treacle. Attack your guests with fresh fruit, and don't forget the pepperpots.
posted by naomi at 2:32 PM on November 29, 2004

Cabo San Woggawogga

actually, i believe you're looking for Nuit San Wogga Wogga.

but i would recommend a bottle of Chateau Chunder instead... assuming your guests are keen on regurgitation, of course.
posted by RockyChrysler at 2:35 PM on November 29, 2004

I recommend including the majestic møøse.

A møøse once bit my sister, you know.

No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink".
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:16 PM on November 29, 2004

It doesn't matter what you serve, just mix it all up together in a bucket. Voila!
posted by jenovus at 5:19 PM on November 29, 2004

Careful with the cheese. You know what that can lead to:

Well... I was about seventeen and some mates and me went to a party, and, er... we had quite a lot to drink... and then some of the fellows there ... started handing ... cheese around ... and well just out of curiosity I tried a bit ... and well that was that.

Interviewer: And what else did these fellows do?

Well some of them started dressing up as mice a bit ... and then when they'd got the costumes on they started ... squeaking.
posted by SPrintF at 6:38 PM on November 29, 2004

You could go with a Roman theme:

Larks' tongues
Wrens' livers
Chaffinch brains
Jaguars' earlobes
Wolf nipple chips (Get 'em while they're hot.)
Otters' noses
Wrens' livers
Badgers' spleens
Ocelot spleens
Tuscany fried bats
posted by funkbrain at 8:26 PM on November 29, 2004

petebest: nobody expects the spanish rice inquisition!

Oh, and you could have James Dean. In a box.
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 11:45 PM on November 29, 2004

oh, and petebest, there's only one of you over here, right? not even any underscores?
posted by BevosAngryGhost at 11:49 PM on November 29, 2004

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