How to get someone to actively listen
March 30, 2009 3:35 PM Subscribe
How do I get someone to focus and pay attention more?
I am directing a play. I have directed many plays and this is a professional production with full technical support.
Myself and the entire company are friends, we laugh a lot we are generally having a good time in rehearsal. We've had a very productive first week, morale is good. The room is open to try things, everything great.
One snag: I have an actor who continually does not pay attention when I am talking to the room. I will tell everyone what we are moving on to, everyone begins to get ready for the next section, except for Don, who looks around, asks, "What are we doing?" He usually doesn't pay attention unless I preface everything with "Don!" wait for him to look at me and then give instructions.
Is there some other way that I can get him to be ready and attentive?
I'm not sure exactly what is pre-occupying his mind in these moments - it does seem to be his own script, etc. So it's not like he's checking text messages or something. It's just that I continually have to work so hard to get him to pay attention the first time.
Anyone, fellow theatre artists, teachers, leaders, etc have any tips or methods with dealing with this type of thing?
I am directing a play. I have directed many plays and this is a professional production with full technical support.
Myself and the entire company are friends, we laugh a lot we are generally having a good time in rehearsal. We've had a very productive first week, morale is good. The room is open to try things, everything great.
One snag: I have an actor who continually does not pay attention when I am talking to the room. I will tell everyone what we are moving on to, everyone begins to get ready for the next section, except for Don, who looks around, asks, "What are we doing?" He usually doesn't pay attention unless I preface everything with "Don!" wait for him to look at me and then give instructions.
Is there some other way that I can get him to be ready and attentive?
I'm not sure exactly what is pre-occupying his mind in these moments - it does seem to be his own script, etc. So it's not like he's checking text messages or something. It's just that I continually have to work so hard to get him to pay attention the first time.
Anyone, fellow theatre artists, teachers, leaders, etc have any tips or methods with dealing with this type of thing?
If I was frustrated I'd probably preface every group announcement with "Don, this includes you." But singling him out constantly will make him feel picked on in front of the rest of the cast, which is bad for morale.
Pull him aside and ask him whether there's anything going on that's making him have a hard time focusing during rehearsal times. Maybe there is, after all. If there isn't, this discussion will make him realize that this is a real source of concern for you and he needs to perk up a bit. Especially if you say, "This has been a real source of concern for me and I'd appreciate it if you perk up a bit."
posted by hermitosis at 4:03 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Pull him aside and ask him whether there's anything going on that's making him have a hard time focusing during rehearsal times. Maybe there is, after all. If there isn't, this discussion will make him realize that this is a real source of concern for you and he needs to perk up a bit. Especially if you say, "This has been a real source of concern for me and I'd appreciate it if you perk up a bit."
posted by hermitosis at 4:03 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]
Have you actually spoken to him (privately) about this? If you haven't had a one-on-one conversation about it, start there. Be friendly but clear: you have observed that he is often preoccupied with his script, etc.; this causes you to have to work harder to get him to focus, which wastes your time and his castmates' time; therefore, as his director, you expect him to be more focused from now on.
Now, it may be that he's got ADD or something; if so, I think it's his responsibility to share that with you, and to let you know what might be most helpful from you in working with him to be productive.
posted by scody at 4:05 PM on March 30, 2009
Now, it may be that he's got ADD or something; if so, I think it's his responsibility to share that with you, and to let you know what might be most helpful from you in working with him to be productive.
posted by scody at 4:05 PM on March 30, 2009
Well, if he did have a problem like ADD he may not necessarily have gone to someone who diagnosed him, so it's not like it would be his "responsibility" to tell you about that if he didn't even know it was a problem. Even if he doesn't have ADD, a lot of people just have a harder time with auditory processing, and they may or may not have knowledge of that. I see kids all the time whose teachers yell at them, but once they have neuropsych testing, it's easy to see that their brains are just not able to use that info as quickly and skippily as other people might.
Talk to him one on one, though. Let him know that you want to help him out by adjusting so that you can include him and feel confident that he's absorbing your instructions, and ask what might be some good ways to approach it that have worked for him in the past. He will probably have an answer for that.
posted by so_gracefully at 9:57 PM on March 30, 2009
Talk to him one on one, though. Let him know that you want to help him out by adjusting so that you can include him and feel confident that he's absorbing your instructions, and ask what might be some good ways to approach it that have worked for him in the past. He will probably have an answer for that.
posted by so_gracefully at 9:57 PM on March 30, 2009
As a teacher, I can tell you that this is a problem that is hellish to solve. Some kids (usually it's a boy) simply zone out at an moment's notice. Usually they're over-attentive to every signal in the room — the air conditioner, a fly, squeaking chairs — and can't filter properly. Sometimes there's just a persistent problem with auditory processing; they don't handle spoken instructions well, if at all.
I wish I had an answer for you. I've tried secret signals to preserve the student's dignity; hermitosis is right that it can be humiliating to be called out by name over and over again. But, of course, the person needs to be paying attention to notice the signal.
Try getting up and moving around while you talk. Some people just can't focus on someone who sits still and only talks. Wave your hands around. Modulate your voice. Experiment until he gets tuned into you. Sometimes this helps.
And I agree: Talk privately, and involve him in a solution.
posted by argybarg at 10:18 PM on March 30, 2009
I wish I had an answer for you. I've tried secret signals to preserve the student's dignity; hermitosis is right that it can be humiliating to be called out by name over and over again. But, of course, the person needs to be paying attention to notice the signal.
Try getting up and moving around while you talk. Some people just can't focus on someone who sits still and only talks. Wave your hands around. Modulate your voice. Experiment until he gets tuned into you. Sometimes this helps.
And I agree: Talk privately, and involve him in a solution.
posted by argybarg at 10:18 PM on March 30, 2009
Response by poster: Thanks all. Yes I'm happy to chat with him one on one. I'll find a chance to do that. I'm also curious to see how he progresses once he's learned his lines. Another part of the issue may be just his dealing with everything he's trying to cram into his brain. However he's not alone in this.
Choc Pick, I'm assuming you are making a joke, and have no idea of the money (at least a 2 week buyout of the contract), headaches, possible arbitration, damage to morale, finding another good comic actor with range who is available immediately and for 9 weeks, damage to my own reputation with the theatre because I apparently made a poor decision on initial casting, etc, etc, that recasting would entail.
posted by miles1972 at 10:53 PM on March 30, 2009
Choc Pick, I'm assuming you are making a joke, and have no idea of the money (at least a 2 week buyout of the contract), headaches, possible arbitration, damage to morale, finding another good comic actor with range who is available immediately and for 9 weeks, damage to my own reputation with the theatre because I apparently made a poor decision on initial casting, etc, etc, that recasting would entail.
posted by miles1972 at 10:53 PM on March 30, 2009
argybarg makes very good points, one I think we forget applies to adults as well as children. It requires a little bit of retraining yourself, but learning to deal with multiple learning styles is an excellent thing for anyone who deals with large groups of people-- teachers, theatrical directors, and in business meetings.
People learn in many different ways, although I've found it easiest (when wearing my sports coach hat) to use three-- visual, aural, touch. So you want to say it, say it again while doing something compelling visually like moving around or using a prop, and say it a third time while actually establishing physical contact with the person it's directed at (hand on shoulder or arm, in a non-threatening way. Tread lightly across genders).
After a while you get pretty good at making this look natural, plus I think you'll find your casting and your directing will get better as you learn to work past people's learning styles to the skill underneath, and you won't just choose people who seem to respond to your innate style. You seem on the way to this, having cast this guy.
Sometimes, I have to say, singling the person out and calling them on their behavior is the only way. Shame, judiciously used, is an excellent motivator. I work primarily with children, so I use this rarely, but at some point adults just need to know better than to space out on instructions.
posted by nax at 4:58 AM on March 31, 2009
People learn in many different ways, although I've found it easiest (when wearing my sports coach hat) to use three-- visual, aural, touch. So you want to say it, say it again while doing something compelling visually like moving around or using a prop, and say it a third time while actually establishing physical contact with the person it's directed at (hand on shoulder or arm, in a non-threatening way. Tread lightly across genders).
After a while you get pretty good at making this look natural, plus I think you'll find your casting and your directing will get better as you learn to work past people's learning styles to the skill underneath, and you won't just choose people who seem to respond to your innate style. You seem on the way to this, having cast this guy.
Sometimes, I have to say, singling the person out and calling them on their behavior is the only way. Shame, judiciously used, is an excellent motivator. I work primarily with children, so I use this rarely, but at some point adults just need to know better than to space out on instructions.
posted by nax at 4:58 AM on March 31, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:49 PM on March 30, 2009 [1 favorite]