Take this money—it'll keep you safe.
January 13, 2009 6:56 PM Subscribe
My friend is going to the West Bank next week. He's Jewish. I'm worried, but nothing I do is going to stop him.
My roommate told me about a tradition in the Jewish community where travelers are given money to give to charity at the end of their journey, with the idea that the intention to do good will protect them on their way. Tomorrow, I'm going to send my friend some money and tell him to give it to charity—when he gets back to the States.
What other things can I send with the money, to let him know that I really care about him before he goes to this really dangerous place, or that might help him while he's there?
Until tonight, I didn't know that his trip to Israel was really going to be a trip to the West Bank. Part of me wants to say "don't go!" but I'm certain that will be a wasted effort—the worries of his parents, whom he loves more than anyone, haven't seemed to do anything to change his mind. The main reason he's going is to make sure his brother (the primary proponent of the trip) won't do anything really stupid, and to decide, once they're in Israel, whether or not they're risking too much by trying to go into the West Bank.
Basically, I feel like there's a much higher chance than normal in the next few weeks that this close friend of mine is going to die, and I want to make sure he knows how important he is to me and how much I love him before he leaves for this trip, given that telling him not to go isn't going to get me anywhere. Giving him the money is just a talisman, I know, but when I feel powerless to change the situation, gestures like this seem a lot more meaningful.
Until tonight, I didn't know that his trip to Israel was really going to be a trip to the West Bank. Part of me wants to say "don't go!" but I'm certain that will be a wasted effort—the worries of his parents, whom he loves more than anyone, haven't seemed to do anything to change his mind. The main reason he's going is to make sure his brother (the primary proponent of the trip) won't do anything really stupid, and to decide, once they're in Israel, whether or not they're risking too much by trying to go into the West Bank.
Basically, I feel like there's a much higher chance than normal in the next few weeks that this close friend of mine is going to die, and I want to make sure he knows how important he is to me and how much I love him before he leaves for this trip, given that telling him not to go isn't going to get me anywhere. Giving him the money is just a talisman, I know, but when I feel powerless to change the situation, gestures like this seem a lot more meaningful.
Response by poster: Well, I have already told him. I guess I'm looking for ways to, as it were, underline that and bold it and add a bunch of exclamation marks behind it.
What makes me worried more than the general state of the West Bank (which isn't Gaza, after all) is that I don't know if my friend and his brother know enough about what's going on there to recognize if they're getting into bad situations. It is reassuring, though, to know that others don't think it's so dangerous.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:25 PM on January 13, 2009
What makes me worried more than the general state of the West Bank (which isn't Gaza, after all) is that I don't know if my friend and his brother know enough about what's going on there to recognize if they're getting into bad situations. It is reassuring, though, to know that others don't think it's so dangerous.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:25 PM on January 13, 2009
This might not be answering the question, but I don't really think you should do anything out of the ordinary. If I were him, I would probably appreciate your not acting like I'm about to die--it would just scare me and stress me out to think that everyone is so worried. The best thing you could do might be to get him something he could use on the trip, like a guidebook, or an extra memory card for his camera, or ask him about what he's planning to do and get enthusiastic about it with him, etc.
posted by phoenixy at 7:27 PM on January 13, 2009
posted by phoenixy at 7:27 PM on January 13, 2009
Best answer: A ball-cap with a Canadian Maple Leaf on it. Sure he's Jewish, but better they think he's a Canadian Jew than an American Jew.
posted by orthogonality at 7:47 PM on January 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by orthogonality at 7:47 PM on January 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
The West Bank is not nearly the dangerous place you're making it out to be. It's not like they're checking circumcisions at the border, either.
posted by proj at 8:09 PM on January 13, 2009
posted by proj at 8:09 PM on January 13, 2009
The West Bank is not nearly the dangerous place you're making it out to be. It's not like they're checking circumcisions at the border, either.
Muslims are circumcised too.
posted by atrazine at 9:15 PM on January 13, 2009
Muslims are circumcised too.
posted by atrazine at 9:15 PM on January 13, 2009
It will likely be hard for him to get into trouble unless he goes looking for it. If you have some friends or friends of friends you can help him identify as local contacts, either in Israel or the West Bank so he has someone to call if need be, that may give you both some added peace of mind.
posted by judith at 9:48 PM on January 13, 2009
posted by judith at 9:48 PM on January 13, 2009
It really depends upon where he's going (guided tour to the Tomb of the Patriarchs? hooking up with the ISM? wandering aimlessly on a bicycle?).
I'll bet you dollars to donuts that Google will easily find at least one official Israeli advisory agency and 5 travel agencies that will tell you which areas are safe, which are no-go areas, and would--if the situation changed dramatically overnight--advise your friend to cancel or alter their trip.
posted by K.P. at 1:13 AM on January 14, 2009
I'll bet you dollars to donuts that Google will easily find at least one official Israeli advisory agency and 5 travel agencies that will tell you which areas are safe, which are no-go areas, and would--if the situation changed dramatically overnight--advise your friend to cancel or alter their trip.
posted by K.P. at 1:13 AM on January 14, 2009
Best answer: don't worry about it. he will be fine, contactible by cell phone or email probably. he will have a great time and be changed for life. There is a growing mini-movement of Jewish people going to the West Bank, it is excellent publicity for the fact that Jewish !=zionist, I went there a few years ago after another spate of horrible war news. It is a wonderful and authentic expression of the Jewish desire to heal the world. I am really cheered up by reading this askme, and I would recommend you take his trip in the same light.
Send him a nice Moleskine to use as a scrapbook. Authentic Hemingway-esque supplies are a good travel companion in a country filled with antiquities, especially on politically and spiritually minded trips.
posted by By The Grace of God at 5:29 AM on January 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Send him a nice Moleskine to use as a scrapbook. Authentic Hemingway-esque supplies are a good travel companion in a country filled with antiquities, especially on politically and spiritually minded trips.
posted by By The Grace of God at 5:29 AM on January 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks for the suggestions and reassurances (I guess my ignorance of this region is really showing, huh?).
posted by ocherdraco at 5:47 AM on January 14, 2009
posted by ocherdraco at 5:47 AM on January 14, 2009
Best answer: If you are going to give him money for charity give it in multiples of 18 for luck.
posted by caddis at 7:22 AM on January 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by caddis at 7:22 AM on January 14, 2009 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Nthing the observation that it's really not a life-threatening thing he's doing...but I would add that I personally think it's pretty pointless to go to the West Bank in the first place. There's not much to see or do there that's worth his time, unless you want to hang out with nutty settlers and yeshiva students (I mean that in the most loving way possible, of course). Even Hebron, which once was a cool place to see for historical and religious reasons, has become so gross and run-down that it's not really worth it any more.
If your friend is particularly religious (is that why he's going to the West Bank), you might consider giving him a gift of the T'filat Ha-Derech, the Jewish traveler's prayer. You can pick up a version of it at most Judaica shops.
posted by AngerBoy at 9:09 AM on January 14, 2009
If your friend is particularly religious (is that why he's going to the West Bank), you might consider giving him a gift of the T'filat Ha-Derech, the Jewish traveler's prayer. You can pick up a version of it at most Judaica shops.
posted by AngerBoy at 9:09 AM on January 14, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
That said, if you want to give him money because of the tradition, he probably should give it while he's in Israel. If you're going to follow a superstition, don't mess with it--every time I go to Israel, I'm told to give the money to poor people while I'm there. You don't want him getting hurt on the plane back.
Or, why not just tell him how important he is to you? That'll mean more than any gesture.
posted by j1950 at 7:09 PM on January 13, 2009