How to reconcile with ebay and weddings

January 7, 2009 8:33 AM

We bought my wedding ring on ebay; it was grossly misrepresented. What can we do?

We purchased a 3 stone ring on ebay. The ring was described as having 1 genuine, natural sapphire (not diffusion or lab) and two genuine diamonds. This was nearly a month ago. The seller had all positive feedback and glowing reviews. Immediately after receiving the ring from the seller, I took the ring to a local jeweler to have it resized and appraised. I got the appraisal in the mail today which states all stones are synthetic. I never would have purchased the ring if I knew the stones were synthetic; as it was, we settled on the metal type in exchange for the setting design and stones, which we thought were real. I am not sure what recourse, if any, I have here. I've spent $100 to resize the ring and $35 for the appraisal. The most the seller could do is refund the initial cost of the ring (although their auction terms state they accept returns for misrepresentation only within 7 days of the auction close, I have no problem filing a dispute with paypal) but then we're out those extra costs. I am extremely peeved though as this is the ring we did our ceremony with and feel funny about replacing it. Should I ask for a partial refund? What would you all do?

posted by anonymous to Grab Bag (9 answers total)

I'm a great big ball of sentimentality, so since it was used in the ceremony and is the physical representation of the marriage, I would just keep it, request a partial refund from the seller, but leave it at that if the seller didn't comply.
posted by ferociouskitty at 8:40 AM on January 7, 2009

Resizing might be trouble with your claim, but you should look into reversing the charges through your credit card company (assuming you paid with a CC).
posted by paperzach at 8:50 AM on January 7, 2009

I think it depends on if you are bothered more by the misrepresentation of the seller or the synthetic quality of the stones. I would let the aspect you care about the least go, and put your energy into solving the other. Is the value of your ring decreased by the synthetic nature of the stones? If not, and you don't feel like taking up with the eBay seller, maybe see if you can sell/exchange the ring to the appraiser or at the appraiser's recommendation. This way you are giving business to him, and not having to deal with eBay person. Or, if these things don't matter, you could just spend your energy reconciling the emotional aspects of this, and not focus so much on action that would "fix" it. It's all about what's really getting you here.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:57 AM on January 7, 2009

I would contact the seller. It is entirely possible that THEY were lied to and unwittingly passed along a synthetic ring. If that were me, I would feel terrible and offer to do whatever I could to make it right. Refunding the difference between purchase price and appraised value, accepting a return and full refund, whatever. Of course, the guy might be a jerk about it, too.

But I think the first step should be figuring out what you want. Do you want the ring replaced? Do you want to see the seller punished for lying to you (if, in fact, he did at all)? Do you want a partial refund?

When you know what would make you happiest in this situation, go to the first source that can give it to you and work out from there if it doesn't work. If the seller can give you what you want, give them a chance to make it right. If what you want is retribution, I think you'll be disappointed in the results, but you can go to ebay, contact a lawyer, or any number of other options depending on what you're looking for.
posted by toomuchpete at 9:26 AM on January 7, 2009 [3 favorites]

Get the refund of the ring, and give them the ring back. It's not their fault you had to size it or get it appraised; all they owe you is the cost of the ring.
posted by FergieBelle at 11:58 AM on January 7, 2009

You only have 45 days to file a claim with paypal through ebay, and 60 days to leave feedback.
posted by cass at 12:50 PM on January 7, 2009

Accept it as a metaphor for marriage.
Ring around your finger / rope around your neck.

Will have been hitched 23 years this week.
posted by pianomover at 1:19 PM on January 7, 2009

By synthetic do you mean "fake" or "lab-created"? If the latter, it's still a sapphire and those are still diamonds, but nobody had to die to get them to you and greedy corporations with bloody histories didn't profit from you. In my mind you made out better on that deal, because you didn't perform your ceremony using a stone with a hateful history behind it.

Whether it helps or not, it's worth considering.
posted by caution live frogs at 2:03 PM on January 7, 2009 [1 favorite]

On the side of filing a claim: if the seller is intentionally misrepresenting goods (defrauding customers), you owe it to others to warn them. Many postive reviews doesn't guarantee honesty.

You absolutely should allow the vendor the chance to do the right thing, first (and Ebay policy requires this, anyway).
posted by IAmBroom at 2:43 PM on January 7, 2009