How many ping pong balls?

October 31, 2006 10:53 PM

How many ping pong balls can a woman, who is used to shooting them out her pussy, fit into her vagina.

We were thinkning about trying to find a "stripper" that would be able to shoot ping pong balls out of her vagina for a friend. After much discussion, which involved midgets with salad bowls on their heads catching said ping pong balls, we were wondering how many ping pong balls could a woman potential fit into her vagina?

posted by Botunda to Health & Fitness (24 answers total)

I think the real question is, how many ping pong balls would have the same volume as a 10lb baby?
posted by null terminated at 10:56 PM on October 31, 2006

A baby cannot fit in a vagina! Honestly - flunked bio, null terminated??? The cervix, it diliates.

Probably around eight, with very very strong pc muscles. It would take some cramming in.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:01 PM on October 31, 2006

Why would it be the same volume as a baby? A whole baby isn't stored in the vagina, and ping pong balls certainly aren't going in the womb! My only slightly educated guess is five or six. But although I've seen the ping pong ball shooting stripper refered to often, I've never seen one actually perform or be advertised. I've never seen that trick in porn either.
posted by crabintheocean at 11:02 PM on October 31, 2006

Response by poster: Well, we thought about that. There is the thought of pushing out a "thing/stuff" out of a vagina as opposed to shoving things in. Apparently, the cervix will open for "things/stuff" coming out, but one would hit a "wall" when going in.
posted by Botunda at 11:02 PM on October 31, 2006

This is like the corks in the barrel question but hilariouser and not in the blue.

And null, I don't think the 10lb baby in its entirity is ever solely inside the vagina. Not that I'm saying I know so much about whats going on down there. The things I stick in there are far, far smaller.

Another issue: if you're not careful, you're going to have some squished ping pong balls. You'd have to settle for a number that falls short of the total available volume to avoid any squish potential. Though, if you ARE going to allow for that, then I think you should just pre-squish them, no?
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 11:04 PM on October 31, 2006

Ping pong balls are quite, pardon the adjective, stiff. I don't think the strongest pc could keep them in enough to be squished upon one another.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:06 PM on October 31, 2006

Apparently, the cervix will open for "things/stuff" coming out, but one would hit a "wall" when going in.

What are you, eleven? Here is a vagina (nsfw). A ping pong ball, for the sake of argument, is about the same size as an ovary, give or take. See the ovary in that picture at the bottom of that page? So, your answer is roughly four if you want to line them up pea-in-a-pod style and probably a few more if you can stretch things out which will make for worse aim and velocity for the shooting-pussy thing.
posted by jessamyn at 11:09 PM on October 31, 2006 [2 favorites]

That's ridiculous, null terminated. A baby grows in the uterus, for one, and a non-pregnant woman isn't going to have a dilated cervix that allows you to shove ping pong balls up there. Also consider that huge physiological changes occur during pregancy, yadda yadda.

What we really need to know here is the average volume of a vagina. Wikipedia indicates that a vagina is, on average, about 4 inches (100 mm) long and 1 inch (25 mm) in diameter.

Wikipedia also says that a ping pong ball is 40 mm in diameter. Vaginas are somewhat flexible, and if the woman is used to doing it, and is (for lack of a better term) "loose", then I'd guess that she might get 3 balls in there.

Whether that leaves enough room for the muscular contractions needed to shoot the balls is an exercise left to the reader.
posted by chrisamiller at 11:09 PM on October 31, 2006

jessamyn, I disagree with the velocity argument, but agree that intermittent pauses would be endangered.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:12 PM on October 31, 2006

a vagina is, on average, about 4 inches (100 mm) long Okay, the average penis length is more than 4 inches, and although I have heard about men accidentally impacting the cervix (which is apparently pretty uncomfortable) I'm pretty sure that only happens with women who have shallow cervices and men who have, I don't know, 8+ inch penises, I'm guessing?

So it seems like... ah, I just checked the rest of the article, "the vagina temporarily widens and lengthens up to 2-3 times". I'm not sure if arousal is absolutely necessary for that (I imagine it helps) but I bet you could get five or six ping pong balls in there.

I cannot believe this is a question, but, well, here we are.
posted by blacklite at 11:19 PM on October 31, 2006

Vaginas are incredibly flexible. The unstretched length and diameter aren't very helpful for this. You'd be better thinking in terms of the volume of the average fist - difficult but possible for most women.
posted by crabintheocean at 11:19 PM on October 31, 2006

Thanks, blacklite. I knew that 3 balls seemed a little low. I think that the 3x stretching seems a little high, but 2x might be realistic. I'll revise my answer to 6.
posted by chrisamiller at 11:23 PM on October 31, 2006

Not having one myself with which to experiment i'll have to say, depending on the vagina, we're looking at 5 on average. Feel free to preform your own experiments.
posted by Derek at 11:24 PM on October 31, 2006

Response by poster: We know that, some women can fit whole arms into their opening; We know that there is a "baseball bat challenge"; We now know you can fit as much as one is willing to fit into any opening.

We are thinking that we were not specific enough in our original questioning; How many ping pong balls can a ping pong ball shooter fit into their vagina?
posted by Botunda at 11:28 PM on October 31, 2006

"Her" would be a fine pronoun. And I say eight, max, but a better, more controlled performance would be had by four.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:32 PM on October 31, 2006

After an embarrassing amount of Google-assisted research (no, really, it was research), in every story I've been able to find about "dude, we saw this chick shooting ping pong balls out of her vagina" that mentions a number, the number is five.

Vaginas, while still a female body part that I highly appreciate, are not magic.
posted by blacklite at 11:54 PM on October 31, 2006 [1 favorite]

Best answer: A very unreliable-looking web site quotes an equally unreliable-looking source thus:

Most capacious human vagina
The human vagina, when not engaged in coitus, is often much smaller than the local penis. The vaginal tissue, happily enough, has the facility to expand to welcome the visitor and in such circumstances can quite easily double its volumetric capacity and become half as long again. It is not always realised, however, how capacious the human vagina can in fact be. There is a case reported by Walter (a matter of fact if we are to believe the Kronohausens' interpretation of "My Secret Life"), in which a woman is encouraged to insert as many coins as possible into her vagina. Walter produced five English pounds - "all in shillings" - and attempted to insert as many coins as possible into the woman's capacious tract. "Shilling after shilling I put up her, until forty were embedded in the elastic gully. . ." On and on she went until no less than seventy coins were inserted - "Triumphantly, she walked up and down the room, none falling out of her vagina." In the event the woman, Nellie, managed to retain eighty-four shillings in this manner - "I wish someone would do this every day."

Now all you need is a shilling-to-ping-pong-ball conversion table.

("local" penis?)
posted by pracowity at 12:16 AM on November 1, 2006 [5 favorites]

Best answer: One of the things to consider is not just how many you can fit in, but how well the muscles work if stretched like that. My assumption (based on nothing I'm willing to discuss here) is that less balls means increased speed and power.
posted by b33j at 12:48 AM on November 1, 2006

Best answer: I saw a clip online once where a girl pushed a nerf football out of her vag. I would estimate that to be about the size of 6-7 ping pong balls. Now, the nerf is of course a little squishy where the ping pong balls are not, but there you have it.

I am asking around to see if anyone I know happens to have such a video.
posted by nadawi at 1:42 AM on November 1, 2006

Best answer: [...] although I have heard about men accidentally impacting the cervix (which is apparently pretty uncomfortable) I'm pretty sure that only happens with women who have shallow cervices and men who have, I don't know, 8+ inch penises, I'm guessing?

I would disagree. The penis touching the (ecto-)cervix in some manner during intercourse is much more common than one would imagine. This thread reminds us that vaginas are very variable in shape and size, just like penises (except (mostly) on the inside!), and also *come* (no pun intended) in all shapes and sizes, just like penises.

I've heard it reported by that it is not necessarily uncomfortable say, during rough penetrative sex, but I can imagine it might hurt you if it happens without warning. I am not a woman though, so I can't vouch for this.

Anyway, I would assume that the "artist" would have emptied her bladder and bowels before giving her performance, is lying on her back (to maintain stability and possibly straighten out the vagina), and would probably want *not* to be sexually aroused, to avoid swelling bits taking up space. She would want to be well lubricated, however.

Given these assumptions it's still a wild guesstimate, but I would take a shot in the dark and say... *roughly* 5. (Not five rough ones.) Possibly more. Then again, if it were substantially less for a given artist, why would she bother go into that line of business anyway.

I'm not sure I get the velocity/aim arguments though, but then I don't think I thoroughly understand the mechanics involved in this sort of vagiprojectilism. I suppose it's done via timed and focussed Kegel exercises? How would one prevent multiple balls coming out at once? Or would that just add to the impression?

In short: how many midgets, how tall, and what size salad bowls?
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 4:17 AM on November 1, 2006

For those of you debating how much of a baby is in the vagina at delivery, here is a good illustration of the process.
posted by TedW at 5:12 AM on November 1, 2006

This question reminds me of something I saw in Amsterdam last month.

Okay, this is exactly what I saw in Amsterdam last month. Well, without the midgets.

The answer is equal to or greater than 3. Of this I am sure.
posted by chillmost at 6:21 AM on November 1, 2006

They had a woman who did this on the So Graham Norton show. You might be able to find video of it if you search around. As I recall, she loaded up before each firing, but I may be misremembering that.
posted by willnot at 6:34 AM on November 1, 2006

I have always assumed that it's a one-at-a-time thing - that there's a reload each time.
But maybe that's just the case when there's showomanship involved; I think b33j is onto something regarding the inversely proportional relationship of quantity of balls to quality of ejection.
posted by Sprout the Vulgarian at 6:57 AM on November 1, 2006