Getting Drunk

December 19, 2003 9:58 AM

finals are over. what will get me drunk fast and cheap? [more inside]

i hate beer in general, so forties are out of the question. i've had a few bad experiences with cheap vodka, so i'm ruling that out too. lastly, tequila and i have never been on good terms with each other, so i won't be drinking that. other than those, i am completely open to suggestions. oh and by the way, i had a friend that drank a bottle of rubbing alcohol back in high school in search of a quick buzz. he doesn't recommend it.

posted by joedan to Food & Drink (41 answers total)

motherfucking jagermeister.

Also, DO NOT DRINK RUBBING ALCOHOL. Though I'm pretty certain that there is no way he drank an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol and did not end up in the hospital.
posted by angry modem at 10:06 AM on December 19, 2003

Don't go cheap, spend an extra $10 on whatever you like (vodka is good)-- it will be worth much more than $10 to you the next morning, trust me...
posted by cell divide at 10:06 AM on December 19, 2003 [1 favorite]

Long Island Ice Tea

1 part Vodka
1 part Tequila
1 part Rum
1 part Gin
1 part Triple Sec
1 1/2 parts Sweet and Sour Mix
1 splash Coca-Cola

Lots of booze, tastes decent.
posted by vito90 at 10:07 AM on December 19, 2003

After an exhaustive, enlightening, and debaucherous search spanning almost a decade, I came to the conclusion that Canadian Mist (a Canadian Whisky) is the perfect balance of taste, cost, and strength.

Spread the word, and have a good time.
posted by cadastral at 10:08 AM on December 19, 2003

maker's mark, straight.
posted by djacobs at 10:08 AM on December 19, 2003

Best answer: Manischewitz is cheap and tastes like Dimetapp.
posted by staggernation at 10:09 AM on December 19, 2003

...with the added bonus of a crushing, sickly hangover the next day.

The reason you've had bad experiences with cheap booze is that cheap booze is nasty. Live a little; buy the real stuff. If you really want to save money, get some friends together and buy in bulk; it's more fun that way anyway.

(That said, if you insist on bottom-of-the-barrel stuff, Night Train is about $0.38 a bottle, but tastes like at least $1.50.)
posted by ook at 10:21 AM on December 19, 2003

I second the Maker's Mark vote (it's expensive, though). Or Robotussin.
posted by drobot at 10:22 AM on December 19, 2003

(just kidding - don't drink Robotussin)
posted by drobot at 10:23 AM on December 19, 2003

Cheap champagne. With the specials around X-mas you should be able to get 3-4 bottles for less than $15.

It tastes good & goes down fast, and the bubbles intensify the speed at which the alcohol kicks in. Three bottles drunk at a steady pace will lay you out.
posted by y6y6y6 at 10:32 AM on December 19, 2003

...with the added bonus of a crushing, sickly hangover the next day.

That was sort of implicit in the original question.
posted by staggernation at 10:37 AM on December 19, 2003

Dear God do not drink a lot of Robitussin. It's just an awful awful experience. I cannot stress this enough. _awful_

My suggestion is a compromise between fast/cheap:
1) get some nice stuff you like reasonably and get a bunch of stuff you can stand to drink
2) drink a bit of the nice stuff and then switch to the shit stuff.

The theory basically being that as you get more intoxicated you really don't care what you're drinking as much.

P.s. Third for the MM, though pretty much any whisky, bourbon, etc of that quality will do.
posted by rudyfink at 10:40 AM on December 19, 2003

I take it you don't have any bio/biochem/chem grad student friends. If not, then grain alcohol (50 to 96% depending on availability), cut with berryblue koolaid.

Grain alcohol is exactly the same as vodka. Dilute, pour it into a Absolut bottle and no one will ever know.
posted by bonehead at 10:40 AM on December 19, 2003

get a pint of everclear and dump it into a cooler that you then fill with cheap fruit punch.

it is 198 proof or something like that, so treat it as if it were VERY CONCENTRATED. cheap and doesn't taste like anything going down. you and ten of your friends will be more than drunk enough.

don't drink it all yourself, though. don't want you to die of alcohol poisoning
posted by sugarfish at 10:45 AM on December 19, 2003

Good red wine doesn't have to be expensive, and you get a nice buzz.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:52 AM on December 19, 2003

Or, if you're feeling fancy, make shooters, aka, purple jesus from grape jello. they'll only set at about 40% (80 proof) alcohol though.

sugarfish, we must have hung around the same crowd in school.
posted by bonehead at 10:55 AM on December 19, 2003

Robitussin does not get you drunk.
posted by sudama at 10:57 AM on December 19, 2003

If you're going to do "Robitussin" (which you should not do), for god's sake make sure you get a product with the right active ingredient and no other active ingredients. What you're after (although you should not do it) is dextromethorphan. But don't do that.
posted by staggernation at 11:14 AM on December 19, 2003

night train
thunderbird
mad dog

just don't touch the cisco.
posted by Hackworth at 11:17 AM on December 19, 2003

I like to drink relatively cheap, but I also like to drink good. Sake is always my first choice. It's generally cheap (Gekkikan brand is easy to find even in supermarkets, and it's roughly $5 or $6 per bottle around here) and starts as strong as ordinary wine legally gets (roughly 30 proof), and gets stronger from there. Plus, cheap sake still tastes great, unlike cheap wine. If there's an Asian market that sells booze where you're at, you can get pretty good sake for dirt cheap. The small bottle of Sho Chiku Bai or Ozeki can get as low as $2... and if you're ever in Japan, the little glass "One Cup" will mess you up for a pittance of about 200 yen, available from vending machine or convenience store. Alternatively, Asian markets sometimes sell the "launching a boat" size bottle of Gekkikan for something like $20, if you'd like to think ahead. For a change, try some nigori (unfiltered) sake. It has a stronger alcohol content and flavor, and is good at room temperature for that straight-outta-the-bottle-in-a-paper-bag cheap drinkin' experience. Momokawa Pearl is the cheapest of these ($7-10).

I also like peppermint schnapps - costs more like $7-10, but you can find brands that are much stronger than the sake, at up to 100 proof! You can pretty much drink this straight, or with a cola chaser.
posted by vorfeed at 11:25 AM on December 19, 2003

I guess I'll just be the responsible one here and advise you to drink in moderation. I just finished finals myself and a couple shots of Glenlivet was just fine for me. Getting shitfaced after finals is kind of an embarassing college cliché I wish people wouldn't insist on living out.
posted by Hildago at 11:34 AM on December 19, 2003

I used to be addicted (more or less) to dextromethorphan hydrobromide. Kind of ruined my life with it and ended up in the mental hospital twice, actually.

I used to buy the powder pure over the internet and stuff it into capsules.

A nice high (for some, others don't like it), and no hangover. Just don't get too into it. I had some pretty horrific bad trips there at the end that finally convinced me to lay the stuff down for good. But prior to that, nine years off and on of good times.

Officially: not recommended. Not sure how long it will remain legal and easy to get.
posted by beth at 11:38 AM on December 19, 2003

Best answer: I second Hildago's suggestion of emphasizing quality over quantity. Based on what you say you don't like, it seems like you just don't have a constitution that tolerates cheap alcohol--nothing wrong with that.

That said, if your college life is like mine was, you have not yet drunk truly good beer (or even beer out of a bottle). Get your hands on some microbrewery beer, or trappist beer. Grimbergen Double is the nectar of the gods.

As for the harder stuff--you just finished finals, so be nice to yourself and get yourself a bottle of single-malt Scotch.
posted by Prospero at 12:05 PM on December 19, 2003

Spend a tiny bit more for a decent vodka like Wybarowa, which is at least as good as Stoli and other mid-range vodkas but cheaper. Do not use too many sugary mixers and don't mix liquors if you want to avoid a horrible hangover.

Also, cheap gin is much worse than cheap vodka. Cheap whiskey and tequila are Armageddon in a bottle. Trust me, as an undergraduate I had ridiculous hangovers from these things.
posted by lackutrol at 12:06 PM on December 19, 2003

Don't forget to go donate a pint of blood before you get started; Less blood volume=less alcohol needed for a given BAC.
posted by TedW at 12:16 PM on December 19, 2003

I have a huge tolerance for drink, and it can take a whole night's hard drinking until I'm hammered.

Or at least, it did. And then I discovered Double AfterShock And Vodka. One glass, two shots of blue AfterShock and a shot of vodka. Three, four of them, and it's like being drunk for the very first time again. Giggly, happy and very, very drunk.

Failing that, cook up and mix up Absinthe.
posted by bonaldi at 12:17 PM on December 19, 2003

Best answer: A variation on the everclear recommendation: one pint everclear, one medium watermelon. Cut a hole in the watermelon and pour in the booze. In an hour or two you will have liquified watermelon. Yum!


Whatever you do, stick with one alcohol for the whole night -- mixing it up is a recipe for disaster if you're drinking a ton.
posted by me3dia at 12:31 PM on December 19, 2003

Response by poster: DO NOT DRINK RUBBING ALCOHOL. Though I'm pretty certain that there is no way he drank an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol and did not end up in the hospital.

he didn't drink the entire bottle, as he had used a great deal of it earlier in the night as disinfectant after giving himself a tattoo in the foot. still, a couple of shots was enough to keep him from ever doing that again. either way, he didn't have it as bad as the guy i knew who mainlined a shot of tequila distilled in water. it's a wonder he's still alive...

Manischewitz is cheap and tastes like Dimetapp.

if this is true, i think we have a winner. as long as it tastes like grape dimetapp, none of that crappy cherry shit.

i think i'd like to try some of this maker's mark after all of the recommendations.

Getting shitfaced after finals is kind of an embarassing college cliché I wish people wouldn't insist on living out.

sorry to disappoint you hildago, but i'm damn sure going to be living it out tonight...
posted by joedan at 12:33 PM on December 19, 2003

There are a couple of types of Everclear. 160/ 19x either will do. There's always Flaming Dr. Pepper. It involves beer but does not taste like beer (let me go on the record as saying beer is good):

Fill shot glass 90% with Amaretto
Fill remainder with 151 rum
Light said concoction on fire
Drop into 12 oz glass of beer.
Drink

Do not lather, rinse, repeat quickly. When you say, "I'm not feeling anything," you're about two minutes away. We had a security guard at college say that and try another before he left. We found him snoozing in a snowbank 100' from our front door.
posted by yerfatma at 12:51 PM on December 19, 2003

none of that crappy cherry shit

Up to you.
posted by staggernation at 1:02 PM on December 19, 2003

Everclear is wonderful and potent stuff, but it nearly killed me.

Me, too. I think it was the throwing up blood.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:35 PM on December 19, 2003

Wine + beer, never fear
Beer + wine, also fine
Prestone and gin, think again
posted by planetkyoto at 2:16 PM on December 19, 2003

I'll chime in with something exotic - tzipouro or raki (especially raki from Crete), if you happen to have a Greek or Mediterranean shop in your area, though I really can't say about the price. It's cheap here in Greece, but may be expensive there... Drink it straight, or cut with water, with or without ice. Also, this might be an acquired taste... I used to drink ouzo occasionally when I was still in the states (horrible, nasty hangovers every time), but I don't touch it here, since I far prefer raki, which is much more pure and, at least for me, is relatively forgiving the next morning. If you like sweetish drinks, this is not for you.

(also, re: the Wikipedia item, about the cloudiness when you add water: this indicates the presence of anise; I much prefer the variations that stay completely pure when water is added.)
posted by taz at 3:13 PM on December 19, 2003

What are all these fancy, 5-part recipes? The dude is a student, looking to get fucked up cheap. Not a senator looking for something tasty to offer an intern.

Cheap tequila is no good. That's why most people think Tequila is nasty: they've only drunk swill like Bandolero or Cuervo.

Cheap vodka/whiskey: pretty much the same situation, though not quite as bad.

Cheap rum: in my humble opinion, just as nasty as good rum, but at half the cost! Pour it into coke and you can hardly taste it.

Try supermarket brand cola to enhance your savings.

Oh - and if you're going to do the Robitussin hallucination trip, be sure you get Robitussin DM. The drug is in the DM. Robitussin PE will just make you puke.
posted by scarabic at 3:40 PM on December 19, 2003

Monopolowa Vodka is pretty cheap and yet the best vodka I've ever had.
posted by cmonkey at 3:40 PM on December 19, 2003

Dude, I heard joedan's getting shitfaced tonight.

Whisky is the best drunk I've ever known, and, yeah, I've known a few. If you want somethign really special, try Georgia Moon Corn Whiskey.
posted by kaibutsu at 4:56 PM on December 19, 2003

Just about any kind of clear liquor, however ghastly, becomes drinkable with the addition of a little lime juice. It's easy to go overboard with the lime juice, always use less than you think you need; I'm talking a capful here. Straight Aristocrat vodka tastes like limey water, you barely taste the liquor.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 6:13 PM on December 19, 2003

Absinthe. Absinthe. Absinthe. Absinthe.

Mushroom.
posted by cup at 7:02 PM on December 19, 2003

IshmaelGraves, that's true, and also applies to malt liquor (but the OP said he didn't like beer, so we won't pursue that avenue of investigation). I would recommend freshly squeezed lime juice instead of bottled. Limes are cheap, and half of one will give you about the right amount for a big drink.
posted by staggernation at 7:59 PM on December 19, 2003

Don't you have cheap sherry in the States?
posted by biffa at 4:37 AM on December 20, 2003

Also on the topic of mixing different kinds of booze, here's a gem from the 'ol high school days:

Beer before liquor, never sicker.
Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.

Trust me, it works.
posted by pooligan at 1:20 PM on December 20, 2003