Is it even possible to influence tipping behavior?

March 10, 2006 9:51 PM

How, if at all possible, does one increase the amount of tips received as a salon assistant?

My fiancee is a general assistant at an upscale salon. She receives tips from stylists, though that's irregular and not required, and clients. She's a talented cosmetologist, but she's new to the salon atmosphere. She's looking for resources on what influences a client and stylist to tip her. Some days she makes literally $0 in tips. Other days she makes close to $50 in tips. Part of this is obviously a function of how busy the salon is, but she'd like to make closer to $50 as often as possible.

Salon clients: how do you decide to tip the person washing your hair, blowing you out, or performing any number of services that your stylist isn't?

Stylists: what influences your decision to tip an assistant? Presume she is motivated, always says yes to your requests, does not take a minutes break during the work day, and clearly goes out of her way to make your job easier.

If there's any useful information about how to encourage better tips in general, it would be appreciated. If you have good evidence, either anectodal or otherwise, that tipping behavior is not influenced by quality of service, that would be just as interesting to hear.

posted by sequential to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (42 answers total)

I'm a man, but I use an upscale salon that specifically targets men. I'm assuming it's similar to female salons.

I tend to tip people who are friendly, smiling, and who make the whole thing relaxing. People who are legitimately interesting to have a conversation with, and are also competent at their job.

Basically, I want my hair cut by competent people who enjoy their jobs.
posted by I Love Tacos at 10:04 PM on March 10, 2006

This American Life episode Allure of the Mean Friend does some experiments on this.
posted by glibhamdreck at 10:06 PM on March 10, 2006

How do you decide to tip the person ... performing any number of services that your stylist isn't?

I'm only going to tip one person, and that's the primary contact, not the assistant. I presume the assistant is getting tipped out by the stylist, like how a waitress tips out a busboy and bartender.

My advice is for the the assistant to start actively marketing his/her services to the stylist in an effort to shake more tips out of this arrangement. Using the restaurant analogy again, busboys make life easier for the waitresses that tip them well, resulting in happier waitresses, happier customers and more tips for everyone.
posted by frogan at 10:06 PM on March 10, 2006

I guess this is more of a question than an answer, but if a stylist is utilizing her, isn't the stylist supposed to give her part of her tips?
I've always tipped just the stylist in the past (I usually pay with credit card and don't carry cash), assuming that she would split it with people who help her out.
posted by j at 10:07 PM on March 10, 2006

I've always (and obviously incorrectly) assumed that the tip I left during payment is split appropriately amongst the staff that were involved in my treatment.

Also, I'm not 100% clear on the tipping etiquette in these environments (I don't visit often) and, on a personal note, I think that some of the tipping expectations (as balance to stable salary) are starting to get a little out of hand.
posted by purephase at 10:08 PM on March 10, 2006

I always tip each person individually. If I pay with a credit card, I just get cash back and do seperate tipping envelopes for each person. (Usually the stylist and the shampoo-person.) The stylist usually gets about 15% to 20% from me and the shampoo-er gets anywhere from $3-5, depending on the quality of the job they do. (This is assuming about a $90 bill.)
posted by youcancallmeal at 10:16 PM on March 10, 2006

Response by poster:

I presume the assistant is getting tipped out by the stylist, like how a waitress tips out a busboy and bartender.

I understand you don't mean to imply this, but a busboy is an unskilled worker. An assistant, at least in the states she is licensed in, is required to be licensed, which means 1200 hours of schooling and passing a state certification test.

Perhaps others will say the scenario you have outlined is common, but in her experience stylists tipping general assistants is rare and not required.

if a stylist is utilizing her, isn't the stylist supposed to give her part of her tips?

Presumably, but in practice this isn't enforced in her salon. Hopefully other stylists will chime in.

I think that some of the tipping expectations (as balance to stable salary) are starting to get a little out of hand.

I couldn't agree more. However, she's interested in winning your tips. She doesn't simply expect a tip from everyone. Another way to think of it is that she wants to exceed your expectations (and those of her employer) so that the client or stylist is happy to part with their cash.
posted by sequential at 10:18 PM on March 10, 2006

Best answer: well, now I feel bad because my old hairdresser used an awesome assistant that I never tipped (because I assumed my hairdressed tipped her). I really liked her, she was very really nice, lightly conversational without being pushy and gave awesome head and neck massages while washing my hair.
Is it a very busy salon? Maybe the other stylists that don't tip her think the clients are tipping. So, if it gets busy, maybe she should only work with the stylists that split the tips, letting the others know that's the reason why she's not taking their clients. Or maybe she could ask the stylists to speak on her behalf to the client. I think there might be a lot of ignorance all the way around here.
posted by j at 10:28 PM on March 10, 2006

An assistant, at least in the states she is licensed in, is required to be licensed, which means 1200 hours of schooling and passing a state certification test.

I didn't mean to imply unskilled worker, so mea culpa.

But regardless, IMO, most people are totally ignorant of this fact (hey, look at me) and totally ignorant of the tipping scheme for assistants. And even if you informed them, they're largely uninterested in tipping more than one person per visit, even if the assistant were the nicest, greatest person ever. Excellent service would certainly influence the amount of the overall tip, but most people aren't going to take the time to carefully separate out the tip for two different people, which is why I advise working on the stylist-assistant dynamic, rather than on the assistant-customer dynamic.
posted by frogan at 10:33 PM on March 10, 2006

Response by poster: glibhamdreck, thanks for the link. I heard that on NPR when it was new, but had since forgotten it. I wonder if there is a difference between tipping in a restaurant, like the bit from This American Life, and tipping in a salon. If I remember correctly, they concluded that tipping is a function of the customer and generally independent of the quality of service they receive

well, now I feel bad because my old hairdresser used an awesome assistant that I never tipped (because I assumed my hairdressed tipped her).

If this was her personal assistant, and not a general assistant, it's probable that she was tipped out of the stylists tips. I'm beginning to believe, though, that this is a common misperception.

I didn't mean to imply unskilled worker, so mea culpa.

Thanks. I didn't think you were equivocating the two, but I did want you to understand the difference. No offense was taken.

which is why I advise working on the stylist-assistant dynamic, rather than on the assistant-customer dynamic.

This seemed like a real possibility to us when we were discussing it. Perhaps, over time, as stylists build a relationship with her, this will happen without the need for further intervention.

And even if you informed them, they're largely uninterested in tipping more than one person per visit, even if the assistant were the nicest, greatest person ever.

This seems very intuitive. In fact, I'd be willing to go one step further. The salon my sister used to go to had little signs all over the place clearly stating that tips were not shared. Even though I understand why they chose to do this, as a customer this felt, somehow, dirty or presumptuous.
posted by sequential at 10:48 PM on March 10, 2006

but most people aren't going to take the time to carefully separate out the tip for two different people

Are you serious? It takes all of two minutes to put X number of bills is one envelope and X in another. Even if it's not the envelope kind of salon, is it that hard to walk over to the shampoo stand and hand the assistant a few bucks and a thanks? Am I just underestimating people's laziness? This is just appalling to me.
posted by youcancallmeal at 10:49 PM on March 10, 2006

Response by poster: I thought of some other tip related issues she and I have discussed that may garner useful feedback:

• Is tipping at all a function of how an assistant (or stylist) looks in a salon? Presuming the person performing a service on you is a young, hip, attractive woman, how does this affect your likelihood to tip? As a stylist, how does this affect your likelihood to tip the new competition?
• Most of the clients she works with are women. Yet most of the female stylists in her salon have openly considered getting breast augmentation specifically to increase their tips. We even joke about a scenario in which she goes into a plastic surgeon and asks for a tip augmentation. What role does sexuality, in general, and cleavage, in particular, play in influencing a woman's decision to tip another woman? (I assume this is a complicated question to answer, but your take on answering it would be interesting.)

youcancallmeal, your kindness is remarkable and commendable, but I don't think it's a matter of laziness.
posted by sequential at 11:13 PM on March 10, 2006

To be fair, I only started tipping the assistant after backhandedly learning that it's customary. I spent a long time assuming that the stylist's tip would be split. I felt like a real jackass when I learned this wasn't the case.
posted by I Love Tacos at 11:17 PM on March 10, 2006

Is tipping at all a function of how an assistant (or stylist) looks in a salon? Presuming the person performing a service on you is a young, hip, attractive woman, how does this affect your likelihood to tip? As a stylist, how does this affect your likelihood to tip the new competition?

I'm embarassed to admit this, but I use a salon where literally every employee is a young, hip and attractive woman. My regular stylist is extremely attractive.

There's probably a correlation that I don't want to admit.
posted by I Love Tacos at 11:23 PM on March 10, 2006

Best answer: I was a cater-waiter for many years and have done extensive research on tip maximization in that context. I don't know if this is an effective translation.

One key here is to encourage the stylists to tip. An assistant should be able to make it clear to a stylist that they are improving the client's experience and so increasing their tips. (I don't mean by pointing this out verbally.) In this sense the stylist is the assistants client also. Is there an opportunity to to escort the client to the stylist? Increase the interaction with the stylists in other ways? Ways that say I am bringing you this happy tipping person to you?

Another angle is educating the public. I was never able to utter the words "gratuity" or "tip". I did not feel it was appropriate somehow. A classic educational "I am waiting for a tip" is the bellman's hustle or what I called the extended goodbye. The bellman won't leave and keeps thinking of different things to show you until you realize he is waiting for a tip. This is uncomfortable. Get used to it or give it up- it's why it works. I found other ways of encouraging a host to imagine that a tip would be a good idea. "My boss will pay me for my time" was a favorite. Many people would start to think (you could see it happening) what else could he be paid for? It was a gentle coax for the people that hadn't thought of it.

How else can you get the clients to ask themselves, "should I tip?" If they ask how much people tip, state a range and what is an "average" tip. Nobody like to be average.

Yeah, you can influence tipping behavior, it's part of the job. Building relationships was always part of it for me.
posted by pointilist at 11:26 PM on March 10, 2006

Are you serious?

Yep.

(I'm going to use the restaurant analogy here again, so please bear with me).

When you visit a restaurant, do you tip the waitress, all five busboys, two different classes of kitchen staff, all three bartenders and "random prep guy No. 7" that polishes the silverware? If you did, would you know the proper percentage allotments for each? Yet I've run restaurants where tips come from one source and are literally divided that many ways. Moreover, tipping out to assistants is often required of servers -- they pay up based on a percentage of their sales, not the actual tips received. After all -- sales are the only thing that's trackable so we can enforce rules and keep a smooth-running operation.

As a customer, I have no idea what unspoken arrangements and political alliances are made out of my sight. I don't even want to know, and frankly, it's not my job to know. Do I split it 50-50? Do I base it on time spent with the person? Artistic quality? Do I tip the assistant, ignorant of the fact that the stylist may have to pay her a fixed sum anyway, because of a pre-existing sales arrangement? Is the stylist an independent contractor, renting the chair from the salon? Does that change the dynamic, tip-wise? Am I stepping over some unseen etiquette line?

I don't know. I don't care. I just want a haircut and a nice experience and I'm willing to tip to get it again and again (and I tip generously, because I know how that work goes). But I just want to throw down some money and go. Someone else can do the math. I don't want a trip through EtiquetteLand.

Is that lazy? Maybe. But I'll venture a guess that while I'm certainly not describing all the customers or even most of them, I've described a wide swath of them.
posted by frogan at 11:26 PM on March 10, 2006

Just checked the TAL link. I learned the aloofness lesson early and it translated effectively to "self-assured" which was more fun for everybody.
posted by pointilist at 11:33 PM on March 10, 2006

Response by poster:

I'm embarassed to admit this, but I use a salon where literally every employee is a young, hip and attractive woman. My regular stylist is extremely attractive.

To be honest, I did the same thing. Then I started shaving my head. Don't be embarassed, though, there are certain salon business models that essentially bank on this being the case. ;-)

Yeah, you can influence tipping behavior, it's part of the job. Building relationships was always part of it for me.

Thank you for this thoroughly excellent and helpful comment.

I'll venture a guess that while I'm certainly not describing all the customers or even most of them, I've described a wide swath of them.

Again, your insight is excellent on this. Though tipped employees may wish more people were like youcancallmeal, my fiancee's experience tells me many are similar to you. Thanks again for another helpful comment.
posted by sequential at 11:35 PM on March 10, 2006

and gave awesome head and neck massages while washing my hair.

boy, i read that wrong the first time through. though let it be said, i'd certainly leave a bigger tip!

not trying to say that the OP's girlfriend should do anything of the sort, mind you.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 12:51 AM on March 11, 2006

Best answer: Last time I had my haircut, as I was paying (and leaving a 33% tip), I was asked if I also wanted to tip the guy who washed my hair.

This is bad form.

Please don't ask the customer to figure out who of the many people in the salon to tip. (Do I tip the receptionist? Probably not. The guy who sweeps up my severed locks? Dunno.)

And certainly don't ask the customer to parcel out the tip. The hair washing guy took 10 minutes, the stylist (barber!) took an hour. Ok, that's 70 minutes total, so, I give the stylist 6/7 and ... Fuck no!

The reason I'm at a salon is primarily convenience. Convenience does not include playing economist and making decision about individual workers' proportional contribution to the total utility of the product. That's the business's job.

In a restaurant, I tip the waiter. I assume the waiter shares a portion with the busboy(s) and the greeter/seater/maitre d'hotel and possibly the sous chef and the line chef and the pastry chef. I have no desire to hand out a dollar here and five there. I plunk down 20%, and figure the waiter can parcel it out per the custom of the house from there. Anything else is inconvenient, tiresome, and embarrassing for me and the recipient.

If I leave a place and worry that I haven't tipped correctly, I feel embarrassed and am far less likely to visit again, which means everybody's subsequent tip, from me, is zero.

Do me favor, do the business a favor, do the tipped workers a favor: figure out among yourselves and without involving the customer a fair way to divide my tip.

Don't hassle me, don't make me feel nickeled-and-dimed and embarrassed by a horde of Calcutta beggars, don't make me feel that patronizing your place is as complicated as doing my taxes.

Ok?
posted by orthogonality at 1:09 AM on March 11, 2006

Although it might be difficult to discuss the matter with the stylists, your gf has to realize her livelihood is in question, and until she comes to a firm understanding, one way or another, with the stylists regarding tip splitting, she'll not have a firm basis upon which she can be assured of predictable tip income. So first, she needs to make a point of having a professional chat with the stylists, probably one on one. Something to the effect of "Please be aware that tips represent to me, as they do to you, a significant part of my total earnings opportunity here. It is my impression that a significant number of our clients assume we are tip sharing, and only give a combined tip, which they expect to be split. If you do not feel that it is in our mutual interest to provide a simplified single amount tipping structure for our clients, can you help me make it clear to them that separate service tipping is the norm here?"

Then, if the stylist don't want to share tips, your gf should put out her tip jar in the wash area, or her tip envelopes in the checkout area, and work on what has been labeled upthread as an "extended goodbye" with the individual clients. But I agree that it would be better for both the clients and the personnel, if an equitable agreement for tip splitting could be agreed. Although, I've seen a lot of places where the people currently getting the tips, and keeping 100% of them are loath to split, and your gf may be sensing this, and avoiding the issue. Maybe your gf should take in some responses from this thread to bolster her case with her associates. As I said, she needs to think of this as her livelihood being at stake, and recognize that if she doesn't approach this proactively, and firmly, that she's not going to see the improvement she wants.
posted by paulsc at 3:42 AM on March 11, 2006

Female customer, here: I learned to tip the assistant by reading an article in a magazine about salon protocol. Seems it's not common knowledge.

At my salon, there are legions of assistants, and it probably helps that the one assigned to me for hair-washing always introduces herself with a handshake. That makes it easier for me to sort out the envelope later, so I don't have to describe her to the receptionist to figure out her name. At salons I have been to that don't have envelopes, I've sometimes felt that I'd rather leave than have to wait around or look for the assistant in order to hand her a tip.

I tip $5 to the assistant, and I've never been tempted to give less for reasons of appearance. When I see a woman with breast implants, I assume that she already has a healthy income, actually; but it doesn't impact my view of how pleasant it is to receive services from her. What makes things most enjoyable for me as a customer in a salon is for the staff to act pleasant and friendly, to smell good, and to indicate that they recognize me if they've seen me before.
posted by xo at 5:06 AM on March 11, 2006

What xo said. Besides, if most of her clients are women, I can't imagine breast implants will get her bigger tips. If most of the clients are men, maybe a girl with breast implants will get bigger tips... sounds silly to me but the men will have to address that question.

But I will leave the assistant more if I get an awesome and relaxing head/neck massage while she washes my hair. I'm a total sucker for a massage.
posted by lilybeane at 6:28 AM on March 11, 2006

Count me in with the crowd who didn't intuitively realize I should tip the person who washed my hair until I read about it in a magazine.

Two suggestions:

1) Seek out a gossipy regular customer and develop a good relationship with her. Casually mention to her that the salon does not have a tipping policy regarding assistants, and hope that she tells this to others who don't know the policy.

2) Can your gf place a discreet sign in the line of sight of someone in the shampoo chair?
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:13 AM on March 11, 2006

I'm with Mr. Pink on this.

On the other hand, the plutocrats who lavish their wealth on establishments catering to their conspicous consumption of so-called "beauty products" should be persuaded to stand and deliver at cutlass point before walking the plank.

As Capn Bellamy said, "You are a devilish conscience rascal, I am a free prince, and I have as much authority to make war on the whole world, as he who has a hundred sail of ships at sea, and an army of 100,000 men in the field; and this my conscience tells me: but there is no arguing with such snivelling puppies, who allow superiors to kick them about deck at pleasure."

* cackles evilly *
posted by warbaby at 7:13 AM on March 11, 2006

This probably seems really silly, but once "hair-washer girl" became "Anne-Marie," I started giving her a separate tip. Something about learning her name triggered her separate-ness, I guess.
posted by ferociouskitty at 7:52 AM on March 11, 2006

Response by poster:

Then, if the stylist don't want to share tips, your gf should put out her tip jar in the wash area, or her tip envelopes in the checkout area, and work on what has been labeled upthread as an "extended goodbye" with the individual clients.

I believe it's entirely possible that the stylists make the assumption that if the assistant does a good enough job, they'll get tipped directly. It's possible that some stylists take advantage of this knowingly, but I don't think it's wise to assume that your co-workers are greedy.

This is not a tip jar kind of place. Conspicuously located, signed envelopes, on the other hand, seems like a real possibility. In some instances, like a wax, which requires paperwork, an extended good bye is possible. For the most part, milking a single client is not valuable to the client or the salon. Instead, she tries to provide quality service to the customer and stays busy for the benefit of her employer and the stylists she assists.

Seems it's not common knowledge.

This thread has made that pretty clear to us, for which we are both thankful.

it probably helps that the one assigned to me for hair-washing always introduces herself with a handshake.

In her first week she simply did not know that she should introduce herself. The end result was that many people did not tip, but a few left tips in envelopes without her name on it. Luckily, another assistant pointed out to her that she should introduce herself to every client. It seems obvious now, but clients can't tip without knowing your name.

When I see a woman with breast implants, I assume that she already has a healthy income, actually

I hadn't considered this, but it, too, seems obvious. We talked about this on the way to work this morning and concluded, given their target market, breast augmentation isn't, at least in her case, likely to increase her tips. Furthermore, talking about cosmetic surgery is apparently a common topic in the salon. Clients that come in with new boobs frequently ask the salon employees to feel them. (Off topic, but that struck me as odd.)

To the contrary, it is widely believe, at least in her salon, that clients tend to gravitate to stylists that they consider attractive. (There are probably many exceptions.) She's expected to build her own clientele, so having a solid look would help, whether that means a breast augmentation or maintaining her looks, I don't think it matters, unless her primary target clientele is men. In addition, projecting an image of wealth or success can be a plus irrespective of gender.

If most of the clients are men, maybe a girl with breast implants will get bigger tips... sounds silly to me but the men will have to address that question.

As silly as it sounds, this is presumed to be a given. (No offense to men intended, especially those for whom this is not true.)

2) Can your gf place a discreet sign in the line of sight of someone in the shampoo chair?

No, that's not an option. However, it may be possible to casually assure informative magazines or other literature is available in the form of magazines or other light waiting room entertainment.

This probably seems really silly, but once "hair-washer girl" became "Anne-Marie," I started giving her a separate tip.

As my fiancee's experience bears out, this is not only not silly, but very useful to know.

And warbaby, thanks for the laugh. Pour me a glass of whatever your drinking. :-)

To everyone that has participated thus far, thanks for your invaluable input. My fiancee is in the salon today considering and trying your advice.
posted by sequential at 8:13 AM on March 11, 2006

Female customer here at upscale salon. I always separate the tip for the colorist from the tip for her assistant, but there are two things that her assistant sometimes does that I really groove on (it's not always the same person.)

1. If it's the first time I've met her, she introduces herself "Hi, I'm [insert name here], X's assistant."

This helps me specify when tipping that it should go to a specific named person. It may also suggest to others that it would be appropriate to tip her, if they don't already understand that.

2. Echoing what lilybeane said about the scalp/neck massage during the shampoo. Love, love, love that and always tip more for it.
posted by ambrosia at 8:50 AM on March 11, 2006

I agree with ortho on this. I absolutely hate leaving an establishment feeling embarrassed or worried that I didn't tip enough or correctly correlate kudos among those involved with my visit. I tip generously, thank everyone that assists in the experience in any way and hope that the person taking my money divides it either according to skill, time spent, or etiquette.

I stand by my original comment about tipping balancing-out stable salaries. In an area that most people are unschooled in tipping etiquette (and those in the industry should know this better than anyone else) rather than expect the unknowing public to tip, why not just raise the salaries of the non-front line workers to compensate?
posted by purephase at 9:28 AM on March 11, 2006

Response by poster:

I agree with ortho on this. I absolutely hate leaving an establishment feeling embarrassed or worried that I didn't tip enough or correctly correlate kudos among those involved with my visit.

That's something she's actively trying to avoid.

hope that the person taking my money divides it either according to skill, time spent, or etiquette.

why not just raise the salaries of the non-front line workers to compensate

One argument is that it takes away the incentive to work harder for tips. My fiancee was told, in explicit terms, that her salon intentionally pays all incoming assistants minimum wage in order to weed out those who don't want it. I know it sounds like an excuse, but it takes a certain passion to want to work at a salon 40+ hours a week for minimum wage when you could work at any number of salons for $15 or more an hour.
posted by sequential at 11:04 AM on March 11, 2006

As a female, I'll say that the appearance of whoever is serving me has no bearing on the tip I leave.

I agree with xo's suggestion... I'm more likely to tip the assistant if I know his or her name. I usually tip on my way out, as opposed to right after being shampooed, so it's crucial to know the name for tip envelope purposes. Also, when I get the same assistant several visits in a row, I'll start tipping because I feel like there is a relationship there. When it's a different person every time, I'm less likely to tip. So if she can work with the same stylists and therefore the same clients regularly, that might help.

I'm also way, WAY less likely to tip if the assistant is totally in another zone and looks bored out of her skull while washing my hair, or is ignoring me and chatting with another person while filling my ears with water so that I can't hear for the next 2 hours. I understand that assisting may be boring for some, but I don't want to be made to feel like an annoyance. I don't mind if she doesn't make chit-chat with me, or if I don't get the 10-minute scalp massage (although I do tend to give extra $$ when that happens), but I do want to feel relaxed and attended to.
posted by tentacle at 11:07 AM on March 11, 2006

Just my perspective here, and I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I really don't like the greeting by name with a handshake business.

Sure, mention your name, but an eleaborate geeeting just makes me think "uhoh, somebody's about to try to sell me something".

Why I go to the MD, the nurses and the phlebotomist and the receptionist don't shake my hand or try to establish a "personal" relationship. And that reassures me that the relationship is professional, and that I'm going to get professional treatment.

(Contra the hair stylist who too-effusively assured me she'd be happy to provide any other services I desired, leaving me wondering if my favorite salon had become a front for a brothel.)

Nor does the waiter, much less his "assistants", the busboys, introduce himself when I dine out at a decent restaurant. When I infrequently go to chain restaurants, sometimes waiters will introduce themselves with cheery smiles, which only makes me reflect that knowing her name is "Misty" doesn't get my food to my table any faster. And if I need her name to subsequently call out her name to get her attention, well, then she isn't doing her job.

I just want to get the job done; I want the hair cut or the food served, and I don't want to pretend we're friends or engage in conversation. (I'm not being condescending, I'm sure many waiters and hair-stylists would make good friends, but I don't like pretending a friendship when something's actually a business transaction; it's fake and it's swarmy and it reminds me too much of recruiters and salesmen.)

Similarly, while I'm politely friendly to bartenders and always say thanks (and even recently had a bratender thank me for being the only customer that night to thank him) and tip for my drinks, I don't presume to bore them by bending their ears about my troubles. To do so would seem, to me anyway, to be denying their professionalism and frankly condescending and insulting.

The best way someone can earn a tip from me is to do his job professionally, well, quickly, unobtrusively and with minimum fuss or attention seeking.
posted by orthogonality at 3:56 PM on March 11, 2006

At the salon I went to in Boston, where it was cash-only for tips and there were no little envelopes at the front desk for leaving tips (in other words, if you wanted to tip, you walked back through the salon and handed the cash directly to the stylist), I tipped out everyone who had worked on me. (And since the owner of the salon actually cut my hair but then tended to farm me out to the newbies for all the other work, it was a lot of tipping out.) But I also definitely felt like various assistants starting really earning tips when they not only washed my hair but also did the blow-drying or ironing or whatever other styling thing was in vogue that day. In other words, if you've done multiple things to my hair, and chatted with me while doing them, I'm more likely to think of you as "my" stylist rather than "random helper girl in the salon." So if your fiancee is really doing that many varied things, maybe part of the key is doing them all on the same clients, rather than flitting from client to client over the course of her shift (if she is in fact doing that).

At places that have the envelopes at the front or that let you tip on the card (rather than just adding it to the card and handing you the cash to dole out), though, I assumed that since the money was basically going through the receptionists/management, they were apportioning it correctly. If this is the case at her salon, then maybe approaching management about actually getting rid of those envelopes would help?
posted by occhiblu at 4:19 PM on March 11, 2006

Another thought -- if the receptionists can give cash back for tips in smaller denominations, or at least ask how the customer wants the cash, it might be a very subtle way to clue people in that they're expected to divide the tip.

It may also be too subtle, though!
posted by occhiblu at 5:44 PM on March 11, 2006

Response by poster: Well, something went right with this thread. She smashed her old record for tips in a single day today by 20%. Thanks for all of your thoughts on the subject!

*tips everyone*
posted by sequential at 7:36 PM on March 11, 2006

Response by poster: orthogonality, it hurts just a little to mark your answer as one of the best, but your multiple answers are so persuasive that I'm almost convinced your not a curmudgeon. (I kid, naturally. I think you represent a quiet, but significant segment of clients rather well.)

All of your answers were, in fact, incredibly useful in provoking her to think about her job, co-workers, and clients in a new, potentially more rewarding way. My only regret is that no stylists commented, but I guess them's the breaks.
posted by sequential at 7:52 PM on March 11, 2006

If they ask how much people tip, state a range and what is an "average" tip. Nobody like to be average.

Definitely. My first and only time in a salon where they had assistants do the hair-washing, I asked the receptionist sotto voce what a customary tip to an assistant was. (I felt like asking the assistant herself would be crass, somehow.) I'm a student, so I was specifically looking for "average." She said, "Whatever you feel comfortable with." "Er - isn't there a range...?" She smiled and repeated firmly, "Whatever you feel comfortable with."

The assistant, it turned out, gave me a perfunctory shampooing and wasn't very friendly, so I gave her the only cash I had ($4), aside from the 20% reserved for the stylist (they didn't accept credit card for tips and I've never used cashback...didn't know that was an option in salons). The assistant was not happy.

Whereas if the receptionist had said, "Average is xxx, the usual range is xxx," I'd have asked her where the nearest bank machine was so I could go get enough to make sure I gave the assistant at least an average tip (regardless of her so-so customer service skills). And the way the receptionist ducked my direct question bugged me, too. Made me feel seriously awkward, stupid, poor and cheap. Never went back.
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 8:16 PM on March 11, 2006

I have never been to a salon that has assistants. I am stunned, and never will make their patronage. I'll tip (and usually generously), but I'm not going to go to a place that makes me feel uncomfortable figuring out who to tip. So, from my perspective, you're in a tight spot there.

(I go to a single-chair men's hair only female, British hairdresser. Somewhat unique.)

So, I'd say it definitely varies, perhaps based on client gender. If I had to guess, I'd say stylists tip assistants they have a close working relationship with, and clients tip assistants if it becomes known that the stylist is not doing it and that there is a connection made--a massage would certainly do it.

But, again, the stylist should just tip out IMHO.
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 9:04 PM on March 11, 2006

I semi-regularly go to an upscale salon to get my hair done, and I have had a number of salon assistants work on me. The ones who've gotten the most generous tips from me have done the following: ASK ME if the water temperature is okay. Some people don't speak up, and it's nice to ask the client; it shows you are concerned with their comfort/experience. Keep my neck/clothes dry. Make small conversation, and if my hair's been dyed, tell me it looks nice. I know this sounds sort of sketchy, but it's nice to hear. Do a good job with the color remover. I hate walking out and finding hair dye on my face. I know these might appear to be generic and common sense, and I know your fiance has had training (I'm not trying to belittle that) but 90% of the girls at my salon don't do these things. Hope it helps.
posted by viachicago at 9:06 PM on March 11, 2006

Response by poster:

I am stunned, and never will make their patronage.

I think you have misunderstood something.

I'm not going to go to a place that makes me feel uncomfortable figuring out who to tip.

That's not the intention. Additionally, a client should never feel uncomfortable, no matter what their tipping habits are, even if they don't tip. It is, after all, the clients perogative and salons are a business where the client is almost always right. (Having heard stories of clients demanding a process be done to their hair after stylists explain carefully that their hair will not be able to handle the process and look worse, I can safely say that the client isn't always right, though.)

As an aside to those commenting or reading from outside of the US, the FDA has restricted many of the products you may have had used on you in a salon outside of the US. In the US, these same products would require a prescription from a doctor. Thus, you can have more done to your hair safely in many other countries.

As has been said in this thread a couple of times, communicating about tipping with a client, outside of when a client asks, is a pretty horrible experience that my fiancee avoids at all costs, even if she makes less tips.

So, from my perspective, you're in a tight spot there.

I don't understand why you'd say this.

I go to a single-chair men's hair only female, British hairdresser. Somewhat unique.

That is reasonably unique and sounds pretty interesting. By hairdresser, a word stylists cringe at by the way, you mean "licensed cosmotologist" not "licensed barber", right?

But, again, the stylist should just tip out IMHO.

That does seem like the right thing to do, but these stylists were all general assistants in the same salon. In some sense, this is their comeupance. I hope it's clear that this thread is not about juicing the clients for hit and run cash, but how to build long term, satisfying relationships with clients that are happy to tip for good service. (The same goes for stylists, but we haven't gotten in to that as of yet.)

Keep my neck/clothes dry.

Funny, but true story. In her first week in the salon she was getting used to the new sinks while shampooing a client. She's standing beside the sink, which she finds uncomfortable. For whatever reason, the nozzle is slippery. It slips. And if you haven't ever seen a loose water nozzle at high pressure, well, it dances in mid air while wetting everything within a few feet. The entire salon burst out laughing, including the client and my fiancee. Apparently just about everyone does this once, so it turned out to be a real bonding experience between her and the other employees. I never asked if she got a tip.

Do a good job with the color remover. I hate walking out and finding hair dye on my face.

Good point. Her salon uses a barrier cream, which should eliminate the possibility of color being on your skin. Of course, it's applied by assistants or stylists, which introduces human error and, of course, the barrier cream needs to be removed.

90% of the girls at my salon don't do these things

That's extraordinarily astute of you, and something I never noticed as a client. It's my fiancees opinion, seeing the behind the scenes action, that your obersvation is reasonable. In her salon, the majority of general assistants spend their time looking for work that generally earns them greater tips instead of learning how to work in a salon. This means that they spend less time doing things that are less likely earn them tips, like offering top notch service during a shampoo or a blow out.
posted by sequential at 10:09 PM on March 11, 2006

I've never tipped the person shampooing me, or the person who brings me wine, or water with lemon or whatever. Personally, I feel like I'm responsible for tipping my stylist and my colorist, nothing more. Seriously, I think it's insane to tip every single person in the universe, and that's where I draw the line. Of course, if you're asking people who make insane amounts of money, the answer will probably be different.
posted by digitalis at 12:09 AM on March 12, 2006

my parting shot:
Tips are gravy. If you get to the place where the tips are all you will begin to hate the job and resent those people who thru ignorance or willfulness refuse to tip. This is unpleasant and will eat in to your ability to establish relationships. This does not mean I was always available to those regulars that did not tip. Some shaped up after that friendly guy couldn't make their party.
posted by pointilist at 9:36 AM on March 12, 2006