Ethnic jokes which make fun of everybody?
September 9, 2005 5:28 AM Subscribe
A couple of weeks ago, I asked a question about "The European" newspaper, published from 1990-1999. Actually, the reason why I asked is because, in the name of fostering European understanding, they had asked readers for jokes which didn't target a specific nationality. Seems that such jokes are rare, because what they tended to get were jokes that made fun of absolutely EVERYBODY (along the lines of the famous "Heaven and Hell in Europe", for example). I've been trying to find these. Any suggestions where I might be able to find this old content of "The European" newspaper, or else any other good suggestions for similar jokes? A good one that I've been trying to remember how it all goes involves a sinking ship filled with international passengers, but which doesn't have enough lifeboats...
The captain has to try to convince men to jump overboard in order to have enough room for all the women and children. So, he tailors his announcements to each nationality...
For the English, he announces, "It's the sporting thing to do," and all the Englishmen jump overboard.
For the Germans, he announces, "I order it!" and all the Germans jump overboard.
For the Italians, he announces, "Don't do it! It's illegal!" and they all jump overboard.
For the Japanese, he announces, "Everybody's doing it," and they jump overboard.
And for the Americans, he announces, "Don't worry, you're insured!" and, you've guessed it, they all jump overboard.
Does anybody know other parts of this joke, or similar jokes??
The captain has to try to convince men to jump overboard in order to have enough room for all the women and children. So, he tailors his announcements to each nationality...
For the English, he announces, "It's the sporting thing to do," and all the Englishmen jump overboard.
For the Germans, he announces, "I order it!" and all the Germans jump overboard.
For the Italians, he announces, "Don't do it! It's illegal!" and they all jump overboard.
For the Japanese, he announces, "Everybody's doing it," and they jump overboard.
And for the Americans, he announces, "Don't worry, you're insured!" and, you've guessed it, they all jump overboard.
Does anybody know other parts of this joke, or similar jokes??
I've heard that, but I think "German car" vs. "English car" makes more sense. Especially 25 years ago, when I first heard it. ;-) Make other substitutions as necessary. And there's a version involving mothers-in-law, too. And "Swedish wife" is often the heaven version, or "Irish beer".
There's a slightly broader version where "the trains are run by the Italians/Germans".
I won't go looking for specific examples; these sort of write themselves.
The other common "chain" joke model is "N leaders on an airplane with N-1 parachutes". Most of the ones I remember involve Nixon ...
posted by dhartung at 1:51 AM on September 10, 2005
There's a slightly broader version where "the trains are run by the Italians/Germans".
I won't go looking for specific examples; these sort of write themselves.
The other common "chain" joke model is "N leaders on an airplane with N-1 parachutes". Most of the ones I remember involve Nixon ...
posted by dhartung at 1:51 AM on September 10, 2005
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In heaven, a man will have an American salary, an Indian wife, a French cook, and an English house.
In hell, a man will have an English cook, a French house, an Indian salary, and an American wife.
posted by stupidcomputernickname at 6:18 AM on September 9, 2005