Floss or I'll beat you.
June 12, 2008 11:10 AM Subscribe
What are some general, practical things you wish you had been told as a kid?
When I have kids one day, I don't want to be lost on answers for anything. I know I missed on a few things as a kid (like don't pick at your acne or they'll scar, stretch out your foreskin as you grow up so the first few dozen times having sex won't hurt like holy hell, etc.).
What are some other good ones?
When I have kids one day, I don't want to be lost on answers for anything. I know I missed on a few things as a kid (like don't pick at your acne or they'll scar, stretch out your foreskin as you grow up so the first few dozen times having sex won't hurt like holy hell, etc.).
What are some other good ones?
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is really chatty. -- cortex
Not exactly answers for everything, but advice:
Don't expect everyone to like you. And people will like you for who you are.
As an adult, nobody cares if you were popular (or not) in high school.
Don't tell people more than you want other people to know.
Pick a good tattoo artist and contemplate designs a good long time.
Savor those days when you've got nothing to do.
When visiting a new city, take the time to visit historic landmarks, even if it's geeky.
And yea, floss or your dental hygienist will make you regret it.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 11:27 AM on June 12, 2008
Don't expect everyone to like you. And people will like you for who you are.
As an adult, nobody cares if you were popular (or not) in high school.
Don't tell people more than you want other people to know.
Pick a good tattoo artist and contemplate designs a good long time.
Savor those days when you've got nothing to do.
When visiting a new city, take the time to visit historic landmarks, even if it's geeky.
And yea, floss or your dental hygienist will make you regret it.
posted by sadiehawkinstein at 11:27 AM on June 12, 2008
1) Bring a handkerchief, just in case.
2) Kitties remember when you pull their tails.
3) Are you sure you want to put that in your mouth?
4) Trust your gut.
5) Improve the campsite before you leave.
posted by Dizzy at 11:31 AM on June 12, 2008
2) Kitties remember when you pull their tails.
3) Are you sure you want to put that in your mouth?
4) Trust your gut.
5) Improve the campsite before you leave.
posted by Dizzy at 11:31 AM on June 12, 2008
okay, your advice sounds like more teenager advice, not 'kid' advice? what age group are you thinking?
as for teenager advice:
- be kind to younger siblings because that kind of stuff earns you super mega bonus points with your parents for whenever you screw up royally
- Learn at a young age how to negotiate/argue calmly, because if you can stay calm and be rational you can usually get your way in the end. The minute you lose your cool, people stop respecting your opinion and the chance of you getting your way is slim to none.
- Call/visit your grandparents for no particular reason every month or so. Again with the bonus points. And getting into the will. But mostly bonus points
- develop at least one interesting skill/trick (ie. juggling, doing the robot, throwing your voice, harmonica, really awesome slight of hand tricks, etc.) that you can demonstrate at parties/groups of people that require minimal props (or at least that require things that are usually around). It'll help you to be noticed and get friends. The weirder and funnier, the better.
- if your a girl with a big chest, ALWAYS WEAR A BRA, especially one with good support! Your Chi-chis won't stay so perky if you let them dangle about. Stretch marks and drooping happen to the best of us.
- under your bed, under your mattress, and a drawer are never good hiding places
posted by gwenlister at 11:33 AM on June 12, 2008
as for teenager advice:
- be kind to younger siblings because that kind of stuff earns you super mega bonus points with your parents for whenever you screw up royally
- Learn at a young age how to negotiate/argue calmly, because if you can stay calm and be rational you can usually get your way in the end. The minute you lose your cool, people stop respecting your opinion and the chance of you getting your way is slim to none.
- Call/visit your grandparents for no particular reason every month or so. Again with the bonus points. And getting into the will. But mostly bonus points
- develop at least one interesting skill/trick (ie. juggling, doing the robot, throwing your voice, harmonica, really awesome slight of hand tricks, etc.) that you can demonstrate at parties/groups of people that require minimal props (or at least that require things that are usually around). It'll help you to be noticed and get friends. The weirder and funnier, the better.
- if your a girl with a big chest, ALWAYS WEAR A BRA, especially one with good support! Your Chi-chis won't stay so perky if you let them dangle about. Stretch marks and drooping happen to the best of us.
- under your bed, under your mattress, and a drawer are never good hiding places
posted by gwenlister at 11:33 AM on June 12, 2008
Oh, and the most important:
Always help clean up after a meal at a friend's house. At the very least, bring your own plate into the kitchen. This is especially important if you are having dinner with a girlfriend/boyfriend's family.
posted by gwenlister at 11:36 AM on June 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
Always help clean up after a meal at a friend's house. At the very least, bring your own plate into the kitchen. This is especially important if you are having dinner with a girlfriend/boyfriend's family.
posted by gwenlister at 11:36 AM on June 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
5) Improve the campsite before you leave.
Just seconding that, both literally and as metaphor. A great rule for life.
Also... fear of failure is a big setback to development, so successfully teaching a kid that failure is a good thing (a learning process) would be a huge benefit to them. Pick your favorite aphorism, but of course the best way is by example.
posted by rokusan at 11:46 AM on June 12, 2008
Just seconding that, both literally and as metaphor. A great rule for life.
Also... fear of failure is a big setback to development, so successfully teaching a kid that failure is a good thing (a learning process) would be a huge benefit to them. Pick your favorite aphorism, but of course the best way is by example.
posted by rokusan at 11:46 AM on June 12, 2008
Film/TV is full of lies.
posted by phrontist at 11:47 AM on June 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by phrontist at 11:47 AM on June 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
I'm a klutz. I wish I had learned this lesson much earlier in life: When you spill something on yourself (your clothing), get up and wash it *immediately*. This would have saved me a lot of grief in HS and college.
In my 20s, I started doing this and it's saved a lot of my favorite clothes from premature death / donation. Just excuse yourself from the table and go straight to the washroom and use water and even handsoap and wash the stain out right away before it has time to set. It's a small thing, but it seemed like that's the kind of thing you were looking for.
posted by zpousman at 11:48 AM on June 12, 2008
In my 20s, I started doing this and it's saved a lot of my favorite clothes from premature death / donation. Just excuse yourself from the table and go straight to the washroom and use water and even handsoap and wash the stain out right away before it has time to set. It's a small thing, but it seemed like that's the kind of thing you were looking for.
posted by zpousman at 11:48 AM on June 12, 2008
Adults don't know everything. Most of them are just winging it.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 11:48 AM on June 12, 2008 [5 favorites]
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 11:48 AM on June 12, 2008 [5 favorites]
when it comes to decisions about your life, your honest, well thought out opinion far outweighs that of others.
posted by gcat at 11:49 AM on June 12, 2008
posted by gcat at 11:49 AM on June 12, 2008
When I was a kid and teenager I learned more from actions that I did from any advice - so if you have lessons that you want to teach, teach by doing/showing/guiding. I think the most valuable skill that can be learned is how to sell. You are always selling something, even if you aren't aware of it. But if you are looking for aphorisms, there are tons of books written for on this topic.
Here's one: Life's Little Instruction Book
Always help clean up after a meal at a friend's house. At the very least, bring your own plate into the kitchen. This is especially important if you are having dinner with a girlfriend/boyfriend's family.
This is highly dependent on circumstances, sometimes it is not appropriate to "help clean up."
posted by bigmusic at 11:53 AM on June 12, 2008
Here's one: Life's Little Instruction Book
Always help clean up after a meal at a friend's house. At the very least, bring your own plate into the kitchen. This is especially important if you are having dinner with a girlfriend/boyfriend's family.
This is highly dependent on circumstances, sometimes it is not appropriate to "help clean up."
posted by bigmusic at 11:53 AM on June 12, 2008
Don’t let people use you. They won’t pay you back, ever.
Stand your ground the first time someone tries to give you shit. It’ll be easier from there on out.
Play Skee Ball for the enjoyment because the prizes suck balls.
Wash your hands and you won’t get sick as often.
Learn to cook. It will benefit you in many ways later on in life.
Curious George is a really crappy book.
Stay away from crazy.
posted by bondcliff at 11:59 AM on June 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
Stand your ground the first time someone tries to give you shit. It’ll be easier from there on out.
Play Skee Ball for the enjoyment because the prizes suck balls.
Wash your hands and you won’t get sick as often.
Learn to cook. It will benefit you in many ways later on in life.
Curious George is a really crappy book.
Stay away from crazy.
posted by bondcliff at 11:59 AM on June 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
If someone would have told me it's not "Dirty Deeds, Thunderchief" it would have saved me a lot of embarassment.
But seriously, if you can get them to use "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome", you've done a really good job.
posted by poppo at 12:02 PM on June 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
But seriously, if you can get them to use "please", "thank you", and "you're welcome", you've done a really good job.
posted by poppo at 12:02 PM on June 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
Pay attention to school, it'll get you where you need to go. Pay MORE attention to your intended profession, learning the very basics early on will give you a ridiculously large head-start.
posted by gadha at 12:03 PM on June 12, 2008
posted by gadha at 12:03 PM on June 12, 2008
You are not your parents' opinion of you; you are your opinion of yourself.
posted by knowles at 12:07 PM on June 12, 2008
posted by knowles at 12:07 PM on June 12, 2008
Only a few:
- Get into the habit of doing your homework - the faster it's done, the more time you have to do the things you want. Consider it a mandala you follow, a labyrinth you walk. Set aside the time, refine your techniques, embrace it. I found that, after a few years of really resisting it, I began to enjoy the ritual - it was the one thing I had to do every day to achieve my goals.
- Learn to love a non-everyday-English way of communicating, of any kind: ceramics, math, Spanish, poetry, a programming language, whatever. Being able to express yourself outside the boundaries of how you normally speak is hugely liberating.
- Failing at something is another way of saying you didn't meet someone else's expectations. Which means, you know, not a whole lot.
posted by mdonley at 12:09 PM on June 12, 2008
- Get into the habit of doing your homework - the faster it's done, the more time you have to do the things you want. Consider it a mandala you follow, a labyrinth you walk. Set aside the time, refine your techniques, embrace it. I found that, after a few years of really resisting it, I began to enjoy the ritual - it was the one thing I had to do every day to achieve my goals.
- Learn to love a non-everyday-English way of communicating, of any kind: ceramics, math, Spanish, poetry, a programming language, whatever. Being able to express yourself outside the boundaries of how you normally speak is hugely liberating.
- Failing at something is another way of saying you didn't meet someone else's expectations. Which means, you know, not a whole lot.
posted by mdonley at 12:09 PM on June 12, 2008
Even though it feels like it, everybody isn't looking at you all the time. That little zit on your chin? No one sees it. The little stain on your pants? Visible only to you. How your hair doesn't flip just right? Unnoticeable. Relax.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:15 PM on June 12, 2008
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:15 PM on June 12, 2008
Cops are not your friends.
posted by Wet Spot at 12:17 PM on June 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by Wet Spot at 12:17 PM on June 12, 2008 [2 favorites]
I ninth to pay attention in school.
If you were really lazy you would do it right the first time. Put the clothes in the hamper, not the floor. That's two steps instead of one.
Be on time.
When you commit to something, show up every time.
Educate yourself. Have a wide base of knowledge on a topic before you spout your opinion.
Wear sunscreen. When you're 16 and at the beach mom isn't going to be there to apply it for you. Look out for your skin if you don't want to look like a weathered glove.
Clothes, fashion, trends, and being hip means very, very little.
Don't be so intent on impressing people. Work harder to impress yourself.
Don't smoke. You'll look like an idiot.
posted by LoriFLA at 12:22 PM on June 12, 2008
If you were really lazy you would do it right the first time. Put the clothes in the hamper, not the floor. That's two steps instead of one.
Be on time.
When you commit to something, show up every time.
Educate yourself. Have a wide base of knowledge on a topic before you spout your opinion.
Wear sunscreen. When you're 16 and at the beach mom isn't going to be there to apply it for you. Look out for your skin if you don't want to look like a weathered glove.
Clothes, fashion, trends, and being hip means very, very little.
Don't be so intent on impressing people. Work harder to impress yourself.
Don't smoke. You'll look like an idiot.
posted by LoriFLA at 12:22 PM on June 12, 2008
Just because it feels really, really good doesn't mean it is good for you.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:30 PM on June 12, 2008
posted by Ironmouth at 12:30 PM on June 12, 2008
I've just started my son on this one.
- Don't trust a clean shaven man.
(Caveat: Don't automatically trust the bearded ones either.)
Others:
- Always help clear the table (even if your g-friends parents are rich nards who need to be the first against the wall when the revolution comes and expect the hired help to do it).
- Always feel free to eat something weird for money, just use your resources to determine that it's not toxic. Chances are than someone, somewhere considers it a food.
- Learn how to measure, saw and hammer first. Structural design can come later.
- When in doubt, read about it.
- When you learn the truth about Santa, remember all of the other strange, magical people that you've been told are real.
- Before you leave a campsite make sure no one can tell that you have been there: dipserse all firewood and (dead, cold) coals, turn over charred rocks, fluff up grasses.
- Before pooping in the woods, determine the best way to dispose of waste. Some environments do not benefit from a cat hole.
- When you see a bear, try to look big, remember that your species has royally fucked their species throughout history and, though you don't want to continue that trend, you will do whatever it takes to survive.
- Never point a loaded gun at anyone you would not hesitate to kill.
- Be able to do basic maintenance on any car you drive (within reason in this highly computerized world). Frequently check tire pressure and fluid levels.
- Plant vegetables throughout your flower beds and not concentrated in one place. It makes it harder for pests to spread.
- Learn to love vegetables. Learn the native edibles wherever you go. Salads will be more interesting.
- Be able to butcher any animal. Unless you are a vegetarian. Learn to love the "non-standard" meats. Tripe, tongue and thymus are spectacular. Some livers aren't. I need to work on that.
- If you are a vegetarian, learn how to cook tofu at least 10 different, flavorful ways. Do not be afraid of spices in any dish. Garlic is your friend (and a vegetable). Never try to use tofu to replace cheese.
- Books are better than TV. At least good books are better than good TV. That one scifi book I read (and subsequently burned) about the "darker races" being descended from Neanderthals was not a good book and was easily eclipsed by late night infomercials.
- Dance if you feel like it. Don't listen to people who tell you that not dancing means you are scared of what other people think. If that were true, you would be dancing to make that person happy. Skanking isn't dancing and therefore does not count here. Skank wherever and whenever you want, with or without music, just be careful not to pummel other people.
- Call people "M'am" and "Sir". Everyone deserves to be called that at least once a day, no matter what position they hold in the world. Even people who think you sound like an unpardonable rube need to hear it.
- Marksmanship is a calming and fun "sport," but throwing knives and tomahawks is just as fun, cheaper and renewable. Only use dead trees for targets.
- Learn enough about cooking to be able to make something tasty with even minimal ingredients. You may live in one of the richest places in the history of humanity, but most of the best food in the world was developed by people with significantly less.
- Always be charitable. Not for any reward on earth or in some imaginary afterlife. Do it because you are a member of society and you have what you have because of that society and you MUST give back.
- Keep the garage clean (or your room), it makes it easier to find things. (Sorry, son, I'm still elarning this one.)
- Learn the basics of fermentation. Be able to take any sugar source and turn it into libations.
- Learn to distill. Clean water is silver. Distilled alcohol is platinum. I am still working out what product from the still is gold.
- Use sunblock. When unavailable, cover skin with cloth. Them Ay-rabs can't be all wrong.
- Never pronounce Arab as Ay-rab. Never make broad generalizations based on race. That's what white people do.
- Learn to play an instrument. Even badly. (Hence my dulcimer playing.)
Ummm, I could keep going, but I have found that my answers so far cover toddlerhood to young-adulthood.
posted by Seamus at 12:31 PM on June 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
- Don't trust a clean shaven man.
(Caveat: Don't automatically trust the bearded ones either.)
Others:
- Always help clear the table (even if your g-friends parents are rich nards who need to be the first against the wall when the revolution comes and expect the hired help to do it).
- Always feel free to eat something weird for money, just use your resources to determine that it's not toxic. Chances are than someone, somewhere considers it a food.
- Learn how to measure, saw and hammer first. Structural design can come later.
- When in doubt, read about it.
- When you learn the truth about Santa, remember all of the other strange, magical people that you've been told are real.
- Before you leave a campsite make sure no one can tell that you have been there: dipserse all firewood and (dead, cold) coals, turn over charred rocks, fluff up grasses.
- Before pooping in the woods, determine the best way to dispose of waste. Some environments do not benefit from a cat hole.
- When you see a bear, try to look big, remember that your species has royally fucked their species throughout history and, though you don't want to continue that trend, you will do whatever it takes to survive.
- Never point a loaded gun at anyone you would not hesitate to kill.
- Be able to do basic maintenance on any car you drive (within reason in this highly computerized world). Frequently check tire pressure and fluid levels.
- Plant vegetables throughout your flower beds and not concentrated in one place. It makes it harder for pests to spread.
- Learn to love vegetables. Learn the native edibles wherever you go. Salads will be more interesting.
- Be able to butcher any animal. Unless you are a vegetarian. Learn to love the "non-standard" meats. Tripe, tongue and thymus are spectacular. Some livers aren't. I need to work on that.
- If you are a vegetarian, learn how to cook tofu at least 10 different, flavorful ways. Do not be afraid of spices in any dish. Garlic is your friend (and a vegetable). Never try to use tofu to replace cheese.
- Books are better than TV. At least good books are better than good TV. That one scifi book I read (and subsequently burned) about the "darker races" being descended from Neanderthals was not a good book and was easily eclipsed by late night infomercials.
- Dance if you feel like it. Don't listen to people who tell you that not dancing means you are scared of what other people think. If that were true, you would be dancing to make that person happy. Skanking isn't dancing and therefore does not count here. Skank wherever and whenever you want, with or without music, just be careful not to pummel other people.
- Call people "M'am" and "Sir". Everyone deserves to be called that at least once a day, no matter what position they hold in the world. Even people who think you sound like an unpardonable rube need to hear it.
- Marksmanship is a calming and fun "sport," but throwing knives and tomahawks is just as fun, cheaper and renewable. Only use dead trees for targets.
- Learn enough about cooking to be able to make something tasty with even minimal ingredients. You may live in one of the richest places in the history of humanity, but most of the best food in the world was developed by people with significantly less.
- Always be charitable. Not for any reward on earth or in some imaginary afterlife. Do it because you are a member of society and you have what you have because of that society and you MUST give back.
- Keep the garage clean (or your room), it makes it easier to find things. (Sorry, son, I'm still elarning this one.)
- Learn the basics of fermentation. Be able to take any sugar source and turn it into libations.
- Learn to distill. Clean water is silver. Distilled alcohol is platinum. I am still working out what product from the still is gold.
- Use sunblock. When unavailable, cover skin with cloth. Them Ay-rabs can't be all wrong.
- Never pronounce Arab as Ay-rab. Never make broad generalizations based on race. That's what white people do.
- Learn to play an instrument. Even badly. (Hence my dulcimer playing.)
Ummm, I could keep going, but I have found that my answers so far cover toddlerhood to young-adulthood.
posted by Seamus at 12:31 PM on June 12, 2008 [1 favorite]
This is more young-adult, but I wish I'd been told when I was a teenager: If you're considering a technical career, get a four-year technical degree (in the US, that's a Bachelors) as soon as possible from a regionally accredited school. Ignore anything else anyone tells you about certifications or education in general, especially if they say you don't need a four-year degree. Those people are liars, or confused, or both. Test out of "general education" classes like Humanities, American Literature, Psychology and Sociology in either high school or junior college - you will save an outrageous amount of time, money and energy.
Film/TV is full of lies.
The news media and internet are full of lies as well. The world is full of dangerous predators. Be a healthy level of paranoid.
Don't spread rumors.
If someone consistently talks shit to you about other people, there is a high probability they consistently talk shit about you as well.
Get a fire extinguisher and keep your exits clear.
"Life isn't fair, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
And if you can't say something nice...
posted by ostranenie at 12:34 PM on June 12, 2008
Film/TV is full of lies.
The news media and internet are full of lies as well. The world is full of dangerous predators. Be a healthy level of paranoid.
Don't spread rumors.
If someone consistently talks shit to you about other people, there is a high probability they consistently talk shit about you as well.
Get a fire extinguisher and keep your exits clear.
"Life isn't fair, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
And if you can't say something nice...
posted by ostranenie at 12:34 PM on June 12, 2008
- Never make broad generalizations based on race. That's what white people do.
Thank you for this delightfully contradictory statement.
posted by quadog at 12:43 PM on June 12, 2008
Thank you for this delightfully contradictory statement.
posted by quadog at 12:43 PM on June 12, 2008
Quadog, I have to admit that I stole that from a professor in one of my pedagogy classes.
Un-ironically, the poor woman said "All white people make broad generalizations based on race." I laughed. She looked confused.
I learned a lot in that class. Probably not enough based on the statement that came before the one you referenced.
posted by Seamus at 12:50 PM on June 12, 2008
Un-ironically, the poor woman said "All white people make broad generalizations based on race." I laughed. She looked confused.
I learned a lot in that class. Probably not enough based on the statement that came before the one you referenced.
posted by Seamus at 12:50 PM on June 12, 2008
6) Life is wondrous; we're here to enjoy it and enjoy each other.
7) You can always tell me the bad stuff-- I won't judge you.
8) It is ok to fall down; what really matters is getting up again.
9) I'm so glad you're here!
10) I'm so glad you're here!
posted by Dizzy at 12:52 PM on June 12, 2008
7) You can always tell me the bad stuff-- I won't judge you.
8) It is ok to fall down; what really matters is getting up again.
9) I'm so glad you're here!
10) I'm so glad you're here!
posted by Dizzy at 12:52 PM on June 12, 2008
You're OK.
And,
Don't do it for the reward. Do it because it is the right thing to do.
Doing the wrong thing ultimately only punishes you.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:54 PM on June 12, 2008
And,
Don't do it for the reward. Do it because it is the right thing to do.
Doing the wrong thing ultimately only punishes you.
posted by IAmBroom at 12:54 PM on June 12, 2008
It's better to go slower and think about things.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:00 PM on June 12, 2008
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:00 PM on June 12, 2008
Compound interest is your friend.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 1:02 PM on June 12, 2008
posted by SuperSquirrel at 1:02 PM on June 12, 2008
This thread is closed to new comments.
You should be lost on answers for some things. In fact, pretend you don't know the answer sometimes, so you can walk them through the process of learning for themselves.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:25 AM on June 12, 2008