Hint: the answer is not sperm whale.

June 4, 2008 2:31 PM

What land animal has the largest testicles?

Please help settle a very pressing discussion at work.

Which land animal has the largest set of external* testicles?

*Asian elephants and any other freak mammals like that where said male fortitude is house internally DO NOT COUNT. If you can't show 'um, you can't prove 'um.

Naturally, in case you haven't cracked a biology book in years, any type of whale is NOT A LAND ANIMAL.

Thank you Metafilter Mind, for helping us where G00gle failed!

Always yours dutifully,
Keasby

posted by keasby to Science & Nature (12 answers total)

Cutting down the search space: "Only the Boreoeutherian land mammals, the large group of mammals that includes humans, have externalized testicles."
posted by zippy at 2:40 PM on June 4, 2008

Yahoo Answers said it's a hamster if you're looking proportionally, and a Ram pound for pound. But that's Yahoo Answers, so take it for what you think it's worth.
posted by theichibun at 2:40 PM on June 4, 2008 [1 favorite]

Largest absolutely, or largest proportionally? Legendarily, the Tanuki is reputed to have the largest proportionally.
posted by Class Goat at 2:43 PM on June 4, 2008

From personal experience, I'd guess it's going to be a primate. I just got done dissecting a guenon (though it could have been a vervet...he didn't have a head). This thing was the size of a house cat, but had human-sized balls. Grown man-sized-human-sized balls. I don't know how the little guy was able to walk.
posted by phunniemee at 3:11 PM on June 4, 2008

Are you talking about "largest testicles" as in the size of the glands themselves, or the size of the whole sac (scrotum) in which they're housed?
posted by amyms at 3:23 PM on June 4, 2008

Yes, it's necessary to define your terms: largest testicle in absolute size, or largest testicle in proportion to the animal itself? Rats have huge balls compared to their size, but humans' measure out bigger; but Rat wins if we go proportionally, since humans would have to carry rugby balls in their pants.
posted by bartleby at 3:24 PM on June 4, 2008

It's gotta be a bovine, like the Cape Buffalo or something equally large.
posted by Flashman at 4:14 PM on June 4, 2008

I think proportionality is the best measure. And I apologize for not answering your question. But I will add that Barnacles, relative to body size, have the longest schlong in the animal kingdom.
posted by HighTechUnderpants at 5:41 PM on June 4, 2008

To further complicate matters, there are outliers in every population. So, after taking into consideration the issues mentioned by others, are you looking for the species that has the largest scrotum on average, or are you looking for the singular occurrence of the largest scrotum that has ever been recorded, regardless of biological norms?
posted by numinous at 6:19 PM on June 4, 2008

Response by poster: Thank you for these very keen clarifications.


To settle this fairly:

1) We are interested in absolute size, not relative/proportional. But I commend the noble barnacle for claiming such a special title.
2) Clearly, the species with the largest on average. Though if there is a record of the single largest occurrence of scrotum ever, this could be interesting to know.
3) For simplicity's sake, let's specify scrotum.


Thank you for introducing me to the new word boreoeutherian

Dotingly yours in spirit,

Keasby
posted by keasby at 5:34 AM on June 5, 2008

These .pdf artcies (one, two) from this page may be of interest to you.
posted by numinous at 11:28 AM on June 5, 2008

I believe the common squirrel might give the guenon a run for its money.
posted by Cobalt at 1:45 PM on June 5, 2008