Some Call Him The Punnoisseur
May 20, 2008 11:54 PM   Subscribe

I can't get enough of punny jokes, and so it's now my mission to collect as many as I can. Give me your best punchlines!

The more brutally groan-inducing, the better. I guess I'm just into the punishment. (By the way, I have checked all of these, which are indeed great... but I need moar!).
posted by spiderskull to Grab Bag (13 answers total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: this is sort of chatfiltery, maybe better for BBQ? -- jessamyn

 
Are you trying to become some sort of pundit?
posted by dersins at 12:16 AM on May 21, 2008


Did you hear the one about the movie theater jamming cell phones? I guess they needed a chatfilter.
posted by knave at 12:33 AM on May 21, 2008


Collecting puns is kind of like collecting plastic vending machine trinkets, or pretty rocks. There's a near-infinite supply, and while some are certainly better than others, there's nothing really exceptional about any of them.
posted by squidlarkin at 12:39 AM on May 21, 2008


Oh, all right, I'll give you one: http://www.goats.com/archive/971104.html
posted by squidlarkin at 12:41 AM on May 21, 2008


Did you hear the one about the movie theater jamming cell phones? I guess they needed a chatfilter.

I'll be you put in-knave-ery large amount of your time raining on other people's parades.
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 12:45 AM on May 21, 2008


Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?

They're really making headlines.

-------------------------------------------

What do you get when you mix a brown chicken and a brown cow?

brownchickenbrowncow (prounounced like "Bow-Chicka-Wow-Now")


(I told my sister the first joke years ago, and many months later she told me that she had told someone else about the 'corduroy pillows.' I had forgotten about the joke, and asked, "What? Corduroy Pillows??" only to receive the punchline. She later told me the second joke, but messed up the delivery, asking what you get when you mix a brown chicken and a brown bear. When I asked, she responded, "Brown-Chicken-Brown...Oh...")
posted by farishta at 12:46 AM on May 21, 2008 [1 favorite]


There are quite a few here. However, you have to add the (usually fairly long and involved) part that comes before the punchline. Doubtless the stories were omitted to spare those with weak stomachs.
posted by itinerant at 12:52 AM on May 21, 2008


A man sent ten puns to his friends, hoping they'd make 'em laugh.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
posted by Bakuun at 4:03 AM on May 21, 2008


What's ET short for?

He's only got little legs!
posted by Cantdosleepy at 4:10 AM on May 21, 2008


You may find previous O. Henry Pun-Off results inspiring. My favorite.
posted by grouse at 4:16 AM on May 21, 2008


Didja hear about the sick molecule?
It had atomic ache!

Didja hear about those two nuts in the park?
The were a salted!

Try the veal.
posted by Dizzy at 4:39 AM on May 21, 2008


Why should you never put Monica Lewinski and Tonto in your back seat?

You'll get a blown injun!
posted by TedW at 4:41 AM on May 21, 2008


What do you call something thats massive and grey but doesnt really matter.









An Irr-lephant
posted by Neonshock at 4:41 AM on May 21, 2008


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