ROFL ROFL - t-shirt help?

April 23, 2008 5:23 PM

I would like a good t-shirt to wear at ROFLcon. However, it must be DIY. Suggestions?

I am going to ROFLcon to go see mathowie on a panel and just say hi to some folks. I'd like an amusing/jokey/lol shirt to wear. All my techie t-shirts are old-school interesting but, I have decided, lame. I look decent in t-shirts and have some blank ones I could stencil, write on, spray paint or something about that level of craftiness. Probably no iron-ons. I do not want to buy a t-shirt, no matter how clever it is, but I'd be happy to reverse-engineer a really good design or slogan.

Notable facts: I am a short, friendly, late-30's, decent-looking female with a fairly good tech understanding and sense of humor. I have a respectable rack. I do not wear glasses. I have pretty normal hair. Subtle or unix-y jokes are fine. Aggressive or sweary jokes probably less so. Cutting edge meme jokes okay. I don't know what the M/F ratio of this conference will be, but I'm guessing there will be fewer women than men. I have a few ideas, wanted some more. I'll be there two days. Thanks!

posted by jessamyn to clothing, beauty, & fashion (103 answers total)

OMGBOOBZ right across your chest
posted by youcancallmeal at 5:26 PM on April 23, 2008 [7 favorites]

Yes, I should mention right off the bat, boob jokes are potentially ok.
posted by jessamyn at 5:29 PM on April 23, 2008

Given recent con-ish events, simply scribe OPEN SOURCE across the rack-space, as it were.
posted by deCadmus at 5:33 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Don't You Wish Your Librarian Was Hot Like Me?
posted by LoriFLA at 5:33 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

MAYBE YOU CAN, MAYBE YOU CAN'T, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE THE CHANCE
posted by waraw at 5:33 PM on April 23, 2008

I’ve wanted to make this shirt for a while:

CHRIST WHAT AN ASSHOLE
posted by ijoshua at 5:38 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think OMGJESSAMYN would do well enough.

At least with the best crowd.
posted by rokusan at 5:38 PM on April 23, 2008 [4 favorites]

"Please stop the asshattery."

Asshat isn't too sweary, asshats.
posted by mullacc at 5:39 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Hah. I like OMGJESSAMYN.
posted by danb at 5:40 PM on April 23, 2008

im sorry, do you mean cutting edge jokes about memetics or jokes about cutting edge memes?
posted by gcat at 5:41 PM on April 23, 2008

For a couple weeks now, I've been thinking that ROFLCon would be best served as a front for a Rick Astley concert. Honestly, who could get that upset if an Internet Meme Convention was a giant RickRoll?

So that said, why not DIY a Rick Astley tour T-shirt with "Cambridge, MA - ROFLCon - April 25th" as the first stop? I don't exactly know how to clever it up, but I think it might work!
posted by explosion at 5:42 PM on April 23, 2008 [4 favorites]

I'm surprised I've never seen a shirt with a picture of Rick Astley. Then again, maybe not so surprising.
posted by theiconoclast31 at 5:42 PM on April 23, 2008

How about:

RICKROLLED
[No, really.]

Deliciously ambiguous.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 5:46 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Lame ubuntu joke: "U-what-to?" Speak up! I'm hardy heron!
posted by cowbellemoo at 5:48 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

HURF DURF
ROFL CONNER
posted by cortex at 5:48 PM on April 23, 2008 [4 favorites]

i couldnt make a cool unix-y joke. :o(


all my rack are belong to me.
(sorry if that is way too fucking lame)

sweet dreams are made of these
posted by gcat at 5:50 PM on April 23, 2008

The ROFL
has not
been here.

(Watch very closely for removal of this shirt)
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 5:52 PM on April 23, 2008 [8 favorites]

Ooooh! Or I CAN HAZ B00BZ! (The meme-y boob jokes are endless)
posted by youcancallmeal at 5:53 PM on April 23, 2008

Boob jokes:
NOT A POINT AND CLICK INTERFACE (across the boobs)

YOU CAN NOT HAS BOOBIES

Proprietary software

These will not be your network. Ever.

403 Forbidden
You do not have access to this server.

Digg These.



Non boob jokes:

My blog will make you twitter

(Picture of dog head in ceiling)
Ceiling dog ate your cat
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:54 PM on April 23, 2008

evolutionary sustainable system [right on the rack area, of course]
posted by gcat at 5:55 PM on April 23, 2008

I haven't been paying close attention to the question of hittability in comments of late ... would it be too soon for a "Hello, My Name is: Cooter" shirt?
posted by mumkin at 5:56 PM on April 23, 2008 [2 favorites]

oops - evolutionARILY sustainable system
posted by gcat at 5:57 PM on April 23, 2008

These are my paid admission into the gene pool.
posted by gcat at 6:00 PM on April 23, 2008

this is a fairly simple one I've been planning for a while (and, in fact, will probably do on the weekend):
figure out the RGB hex code of your shirt, or CMYK or LAB or HSL color, then simply stencil it on. If you're an enormous nerd and have a Pantone swatch book handy, see if you can match it.
posted by heeeraldo at 6:00 PM on April 23, 2008

NO, you may not.

(Or, if you're feeling lucky, "YES, You may")
posted by Leon-arto at 6:05 PM on April 23, 2008

this rack is for my servers only
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:07 PM on April 23, 2008

AskMefi: Please Help Me Name My Tits.
posted by peacecorn at 6:11 PM on April 23, 2008 [4 favorites]

"Insert library card here."
posted by jbickers at 6:21 PM on April 23, 2008

I'm actually quite happy to entertain brainer less-boobier shirt ideas as well. I'm just not against a good boob joke.
posted by jessamyn at 6:24 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

How 'bout:

Keep your comments to yourself. I want to change my name to Cooter.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 6:27 PM on April 23, 2008

More non-boob:

Huh, it's brighter outside than I remember.

Would rather be in mom's basement.

Pic of you looking out of the ceiling hole ala ceiling cat, with this text below or to the side of it:
Wayward Word-Wench is Watching Your Web

Outside 2.0 has glitches, wait for service pack
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:29 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

If it's a high male ratio:

This might be the closest you ever get to a real live girl.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 6:31 PM on April 23, 2008

LET'S ROFL
posted by youcancallmeal at 6:34 PM on April 23, 2008

just a single semi-colon (large)

;

keep them guessing.
posted by Rumple at 6:39 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

How about "I do it on the green," as a nod to those oh-so-clever school sports team t-shirts?
posted by danb at 6:41 PM on April 23, 2008

Just make it the blue. Post a headline, a few random spastic comments, and put a white box at the bottom with a "Posting as: " lead. For bonus points, bring a permanent marker.
posted by Leon-arto at 6:41 PM on April 23, 2008

asshabadashery jokes or, to be gender normative, assmillinery jokes are always good.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:46 PM on April 23, 2008

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary, and those who don't.
posted by spatula at 6:53 PM on April 23, 2008

Wayward Word Wench
posted by amro at 6:54 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

I (respectfully) think that basically all of the previous suggestions are horrible.

Based on second-hand knowledge of the previous roflcon, this is going to be somewhat painful already, so I don't know if "lol boobs" is really going to be what you want on your clothes, after the first couple of minutes of being there.

For that matter, all of your meme references are probably going to be Behind The Times, because by the time you get there, it will be old meme. And you don't want to be old meme. So I suggest something classic and timeless and mildly weird. e.g. take some old classic shirt idea -- silhouettes of dictators or revolutionaries, for example -- and combine it with a modern reference for the lols.

So you could, for example, find a good shot of Kim Jong-Il, make it a silhouette, and underneath it write Y0UNG-HAE CHANG HEAVY INDUSTRIES in a pleasing sans-serif. (previously) Actually you could probably do that one without the KJI at all.

I think what I'd generally go for, if I were you, is something that isn't too explicitly boobs-related or cutting-edge meme, but more of a quiet statement that yes, you are Hip To The Lols, you've seen this or that horrible gif before, etc, and despite the fact that you understand what goes on (more or less, as well as anyone can) in the seedy back alleys of the internet, it hasn't corrupted you and in fact you do an awesome job helping shepherd our collective tendencies toward merely writing "dongs" on every mefi thread into something actually usable and intelligent. ... Though I guess that's hard to put on a t-shirt.

"your lols: i have heard of them."
posted by blacklite at 6:56 PM on April 23, 2008 [2 favorites]

Buffering...

p$ man life

Downloading updates in background

Survived Windows ME

Vista Rain:
Some stay dry while others feel the pain.

I move away from you to breathe in.

Coffee is my boot loader.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:01 PM on April 23, 2008

Based on second-hand knowledge of the previous roflcon

Huh?
posted by danb at 7:01 PM on April 23, 2008

Front:
This is my favorites shirt.
Back:
http://www.metafilter.com/favorites/292
http://del.icio.us/jessamyn
http://www.last.fm/user/jessamyn/charts/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/iamthebestartist/favorites/
etc...
posted by enfa at 7:05 PM on April 23, 2008

A yellow button that says "Maybe."
posted by The World Famous at 7:05 PM on April 23, 2008

Just wondering: are you planning to properly attribute your witty t-shirt? ~ because there's a slight chance that somebody might find out you didn't come up with the joke yourself...
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:06 PM on April 23, 2008

I'm just stealing this from your profile I realize but:

Wayward Word-wench
posted by whoaali at 7:08 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

On the left-hand side:

a stencilled picture of mathowie's face.

On the right-hand side, the stencilled words:

"I think metafilter is a pretty cool guy. eh posts websites and doesn't afraid of anything."
posted by Greg Nog at 7:13 PM on April 23, 2008

TEH MOD (simple, classic, accurate)
posted by youcancallmeal at 7:16 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why don't you wear your The Harvey Girls shirt one of the days? Just sayin'....
posted by Lynsey at 7:17 PM on April 23, 2008

the hive mind

(or "I am the hive mind")
posted by Leon-arto at 7:26 PM on April 23, 2008

Two of my favourite DIY shirts have been:

The word SHIRT stenciled on with spraypaint.

Four black and white photos/paintings in a square of:
Beethoven, Einstein, Marx and Myself (bottom right)

Though that last one doesn't sound doable if you're not willing to iron.

Would "Ceçi n'est pas un t-shirt." be too lame?
posted by ODiV at 7:29 PM on April 23, 2008

A WOMAN ON THE INTERNET
Control yourselves, dweebs
posted by waraw at 7:44 PM on April 23, 2008

This one works on so many levels.
By doing it yourself you'll have the benefit of not having the New Museum logo in the back which kinda destroys the simple impact of the front.
posted by bru at 7:44 PM on April 23, 2008

Step 1 -> Get a Sharpie

Step 2 -> Write "LIONEL RITCHIE" on a shirt

Step 3 -> Hold your head up high.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 7:58 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

How about:

[written under boobs]
posted by Jessamyn at 11:22pm on [first day of con] [243 favorites +] [!]

:P

Either that, or:
[front of shirt] THERE IS PORN ON MY BACK!

[back of shirt] -picture of Rick Astley-
posted by Verdandi at 8:07 PM on April 23, 2008 [9 favorites]

Whatever you stick on there, I suggest stencilling with bleach!. 'Cause it's purty.
posted by bettafish at 8:07 PM on April 23, 2008 [13 favorites]

[!] 5 users marked this as a favorite.
(arrow optional)
posted by lukemeister at 8:17 PM on April 23, 2008

This is probably too much of a mefi-specific joke, but I would laugh my keester off if I saw Jessamyn wearing a shirt that just said:

YOU'RE
NOT
HELPING
posted by ulotrichous at 8:17 PM on April 23, 2008

*it's NOT ok to contact this poster with boob-touching requests

[! flag as awesome]

Metafilter mods do it till it's flagged
posted by ALongDecember at 8:34 PM on April 23, 2008

Oops, I just realized I thought this was lulzcon. Well at least I don't have to worry so much about how horrible it will turn out. It will only be moderately lame instead of stupendously bad. As you were!
posted by blacklite at 8:35 PM on April 23, 2008

How about "double you double you double you colon slash slash aks mefi kom"
posted by markovich at 9:09 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Here's some inspiration.
posted by divabat at 9:09 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

Not lulzy at all but if you like your wayward word wench slogan, you could make a stencil of a wrench silhouette filled by the word WAYWARD (fitted into the space all typographico stylee).
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:07 PM on April 23, 2008

Jessamyn has added you as a contact. (with "jessamyn" and "you" in yellow)
posted by LobsterMitten at 10:12 PM on April 23, 2008

If you want to rely on your semi-obscure MetaFilter fame (and I would, personally) I don't think you could do much better than a stencil of the wolf from Be Safe and Smart on Metafilter. Seems like it would be easy enough to either photoshop out the wolf face to print on an iron-on, or to get one of your many fans here to do it (I don't have the skills myself).

Besides that I'm still fond of "hurf durf meme repeater." And I kind of think that "tl;dr" has potential, but it just doesn't seem super funny.
posted by whir at 10:17 PM on April 23, 2008 [1 favorite]

less cryptic more sensemaking please
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 10:18 PM on April 23, 2008

USE YOUR WORDS
posted by iconomy at 10:24 PM on April 23, 2008 [4 favorites]

One of the neater homemade shirts I've seen was a black t-shirt with "DEEP" silk-screened on it, also in black.
posted by Upton O'Good at 10:39 PM on April 23, 2008

Sharpie drawing of Soviet Hammer (sickle optional) with BANHAMMER! underneath.

As was pointed out earlier, current meme's and lol's move through the roflcon crowd quickly. If you want to do something timely and vaugely interactive, carry around a roll of really wide masking tape and a couple colored sharpies and let people choose the witty meme you wear each hour or two.
posted by afflatus at 10:46 PM on April 23, 2008

I always wanted a shirt from the SNL Final Celebrity Jeopardy sketch with French Stewart.
It would be blue and say...

"THreEve
$Texas"


"Sex, Drugs, and RickRoll"
"The Librarianist"
"I heart mouth breathers"
posted by clearly at 12:24 AM on April 24, 2008

Please don't ban me if you are offended by the first one, which I think was an earlier joke you made, but:

"Information Scientist - Penis"

"Queen Bee of the Hive Mind"

More obscurely, but possibly misinterpretable:
"I has a royal jelly"

Funny ideas I've had kicking around that have nothing to do with MeFi:

Map of medieval Flanders with route marched by invading forces, above the text "Stupid Flanders!"

Uh, actually my other funny ideas are not funny or horrifically offensive.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:16 AM on April 24, 2008

You could also do a superheroine shirt with a comic version of yourself as a valkyrie with sledgehammer and the text: "Wielder of the Banhammer" or "Chooser of the Banned" and on the back "In my dreams, I am a viking."
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:24 AM on April 24, 2008

"Do not adjust the dials"
"Horizontal hold --- Vertical hold"
"I'm analog and digital"
"Are you looking for a book?"
posted by zengargoyle at 1:34 AM on April 24, 2008

"Use your words" is brilliant.

But probably only because MeFi has lately driven me to crave a t-shirt that says "I can haz post-neanderthal conversation?" over my rack.
posted by DarlingBri at 3:30 AM on April 24, 2008

Personally, I think you should go with something kinda MetaFilter-specific. Ideally something you came up with or popularized to some extent. Like:

[NOT OMGIST]
posted by grouse at 3:41 AM on April 24, 2008

"$20....same as in town"
posted by There's No I In Meme at 5:30 AM on April 24, 2008

i think you should go with the timeless classic: "askme"
posted by jammy at 5:36 AM on April 24, 2008

Thanks everyone, this has given me a lot of great ideas to move forward with. I may be able to access a printer and/or bleach (neat idea and gets rid of some lame old dark t-shirts) so I'll try a few things out and report back.
posted by jessamyn at 5:48 AM on April 24, 2008

I'm a bit late, but apropos of the OSBP kerfuffle I was talking with my sweetie about a T-shirt one of our friends was wearing a couple of weeks ago, and I thought it quite clever. It was a yellow shirt with graphic illustration (I mean a posterized sort of former photo-quality graphic, not an iconized one) of two blue footed boobies standing right next to each other. Their blue feet were placed at nipple level on the shirt.

I did a couple of cursory lookings and there are some options from cafepress with a galapagos theme. I couldn't find the exact T I saw, but I'm sure there are good options on the webs.

Anyhow, imagine a gentleman of a geeky sort (like me) seeing a T-shirt like that, wanting to remark on the graphic and saying, "Oh look! Boobies!" and then going all red. Good times.
posted by kalessin at 5:51 AM on April 24, 2008

kalessin, it's a Threadless t-shirt.
posted by MsMolly at 6:18 AM on April 24, 2008

I made a pretty good bleach TEH MOD t-shirt I'll put a photo up in a bit.
posted by jessamyn at 6:42 AM on April 24, 2008

Jessamyn's stylesheet
posted by iconomy at 7:04 AM on April 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

Just in case you're still taking suggestions:

Front:
A box containing a collage of images or words in different fonts for:
monty python skit quoting?
- alien something or other?
- moleskine?
- fixie?
- t-shirts with code on them?
- giant belt buckles?
- hemp anything?
- TEE-vee?
- snakes on a plane nonsense?
- stuff to put in your clean hair to make it look unwashed?
- jewlery made out of perfectly functional items that were taken apart to make jewelry out of?
- leatherman?
Surrounding the box is WHAT THE FUCK NERDS?

Back:
In script:
...you are jealous of his big fedora.
posted by Jorus at 7:17 AM on April 24, 2008

Deleted thread: 70896
posted by Rafaelloello at 7:35 AM on April 24, 2008

[a few comments removed - please don't derail my t-shirt]
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 7:49 AM on April 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

Boob-related:

'Mine too' over your left breast on two lines, then put your name tag over the right (Hi, my name is Jessamyn).

Less obviously boob-related:

'AskMe' across the front, 'No.' on the back.
posted by jamjam at 8:17 AM on April 24, 2008

"Open Source Nutsack Project"
posted by lleachie at 8:35 AM on April 24, 2008

#006699
#426746
#666666
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 9:01 AM on April 24, 2008 [2 favorites]

USE YOUR WORDS

...works on so many levels.

How about a face reading a book and something like "Old School Social App" below?

Or: TAKE IT TO MEMAIL!

Of course, I'd pay good money to see "LONGBOAT" on a mod's t-shirt.
posted by danOstuporStar at 9:26 AM on April 24, 2008

e.g.
posted by danOstuporStar at 9:29 AM on April 24, 2008

iconomy: "Jessamyn's stylesheet"

color: #fff? That's quite an assumption.
posted by Plutor at 9:46 AM on April 24, 2008

The t-shirt is white.
posted by iconomy at 9:54 AM on April 24, 2008

I am also pretty white, though maybe more of an off-pinky color. I'd love to see a good longboat/viking graphic that was more than 100 pixels wide. Anyone?
posted by jessamyn at 10:03 AM on April 24, 2008

Here's a photograph of a real live viking. But that would probably require iron-on.

High res version here.
posted by Fuzzy Skinner at 10:35 AM on April 24, 2008

935px
posted by danOstuporStar at 11:13 AM on April 24, 2008

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
NERDS.
posted by ottereroticist at 12:54 PM on April 24, 2008

WHAT.
THE.
NERDS.
FUCK.

...would probably not be appropriate or advisable.
posted by ND¢ at 2:39 PM on April 24, 2008

I'm going to be banned now aren't I?
posted by ND¢ at 2:40 PM on April 24, 2008

Perhaps you can turn your time-out into a profitable opportunity by making I'm going to be banned now aren't I? t-shirts in your soon-to-be-copious free hours?
posted by DarlingBri at 2:56 PM on April 24, 2008 [1 favorite]

What good are all the profits in the world gleaned from producing hilarious t-shirts if I don't have a special Metafilter to share them with?
posted by ND¢ at 3:00 PM on April 24, 2008

Watch out! I'll totally sidebar you.
posted by proj08 at 3:20 PM on April 24, 2008

PLEASE HELP ME



NAME MY CAT
posted by Sys Rq at 4:39 PM on April 24, 2008

Here are the t-shirts I wore at various points in the weekend.

1. Mat Honan t-shirt - he's a pal of mine and posted that photo to Flickr Friday morning so I thought it would be funny when he saw me [it was]
2. 4chan/mathowie shirt. Someone picked me out of the crowd yesterday and said "that shirt is awesome"
3. I'M THE TARGET DEMO - easily my fave shirt [and silkscreened, not ironed-on] but it was an XL and I'm ... not.

I did not manage to wear my TEH MOD bleach shirt even though I am quite fond of it. Thanks very much everyone for your suggestions.
posted by jessamyn at 11:56 AM on April 27, 2008 [2 favorites]