What to do at an Episcopal service?

April 9, 2008 1:12 PM

Past and present Episcopalians -- please tell me what it's like to attend an Episcopal church.

I want to go back to church. I was raised Southern Baptist but that particular denomination does not appeal to me (I left as a teen before being baptised.) After reading about many others I have decided that the Episcopal church seems like a good fit but I've never been to a service before. I am planning on attending my local Episcopal church on Sunday but I'm going alone so I don't have much of an idea of what to expect. I've read about what the service entails but I'm looking for practical advice about what to do and what not to do. I know I'm not going to be receiving communion but I have also read that non-baptised Christians may come forward to receive a blessing. What does this entail? Are there members or groups focused on helping out visitors?

I would also be interested in learning more about the current schism within the church over political issues like the ordination of homosexuals and women (something I completely support and which drew me to the church in the first place) and how that's affecting current members. Is there a good way to gauge how a particular church feels about such issues?

posted by LeeJay to religion & philosophy (20 comments total)

most episcopal churches will offer you communion automatically; it's up to you to refuse it. when you do, the priest says a short blessing.

my experience is that it's a lot closer to catholic mass then most other churches, but service is generally pretty passive, other then some reading. some churches have kneelers, but not all; yu don't have to kneel if you don't want to. i don't. congregants are expected to generally be quiet, except for reading printed text and singing.

the episcopal/anglican split is, from what i understand, mainly due to the differences in who gets ordained, and what they can do. the episcopal side is what you appear to support.
posted by lester at 1:22 PM on April 9, 2008

It will vary a great deal from church to church. I've been to very high-church [formal, kneeling and incense] Episcopal churches and very low-church [informal, no kneeling, no incense] Episcopal churches and they can be so different you couldn't even tell they're the same denomination. Actually, that's not true, because it IS the same liturgy (although the wording may vary in places), but there's no answer I could give you that would be definitively true for all churches.

If you aren't receiving communion, you can cross your arms with hands on shoulders to indicate that you only want to receive a blessing.

Sometimes the only way to gauge how conservative or liberal the church is on sexual issues is to pick up on a very subjective vibe. Conservative churches tend to advertise themselves as "bible-believing." A more liberal church might advertise itself as "open and affirming" or similar - one church I like very much says on its webpage, "We affirm, and welcome to our community and worship life, people of every kind of household and every stage of life and faith and doubt." Liberal churches might also have an AIDS ministry. Low-church churches tend to be more conservative than high-church ones, but this is not an absolute thing. Also, most of the liberal churches I've been to have had at least one woman clergymember.

You can often pick up a vibe just from the website, but the only way to know for sure is to go.
posted by Jeanne at 1:43 PM on April 9, 2008

You'll sing a little, you'll read a little, and you'll kneel quite a bit. You'll catch on pretty quickly, especially since you've been to church services before.

Communion will come in one of two ways: either somebody will come and pass it out (like I'm sure you're used to in the Southern Baptist tradition), or you'll get up and take it at the front.

What's going on is that certain American churches have ordained homosexuals for ministry, and local parishes that don't agree with that practice have, without the blessing of the mother church, split from the American branch and joined the Nigerian branch (which is lead by a very conservative, and welcoming, archbishop). In those churches (there are a few that I am aware of in Virginia), you'll be more likely to find a more conservative congregation.

Also, not to plug or derail, or whatever, if you're looking for a denomination that openly accepts homosexuality and gender equality in all its forms, considers social justice of the utmost importance and is generally on the left side of things (while still having a strong Christian character), you might also want to check out the United Churches of Christ (Congregationalists), which, oddly enough, is the denomination descended from the Puritans of all people.
posted by General Malaise at 1:49 PM on April 9, 2008

What Lester said, plus I would add that the Episcopal service is pretty much by the book... literally. In each pew you will find an hymnal and the Book of Common prayer. Most churches will have a full missal containing the order of the prayers and sometimes their corresponding page numbers in the BCP as well as the hymn numbers. Mostly you can just follow along that way, and observe what your neighbors are doing for cues (pretty much as you would in any Baptist or other service.

The current schism cuts very much along political lines. There are some very conservative Episcopal churches that are very opposed to the ordination of homosexuals and are vocally so, and this has cost them some congregants. There are likewise very liberal ones (of which mine is one), that are cool with it (which has also cost them). It varies widely even with respect to communities that are not geographically very far apart. You should be able to tell which way the church is leaning after a few services.

The PECUSA is going through some very tough times, which is an incredible shame, because it's a pretty vibrant denomination.
posted by besotted at 1:49 PM on April 9, 2008

Here are some tips on Episcopalian worship.

If you don't want to receive communion but you do want to go up to the rail and get blessed, just cross your arms over your chest when the priest comes around with the wafers and wine.

If you're moved to do so, you can repeat the Creeds and the other prayers. Or you can just stand silently.

As for the rest, just stand up, sit down, and/or kneel when others do so.

There are other optional niceties and nuances (such as crossing yourself, genuflecting when you enter the pew, etc.), but you can pick those up over time.

As for the issues you mention, I think the most direct way would be to chat with the priest after the service. It's completely appropriate to politely ask him to tell you about this congregation's views on those topics.
posted by ottereroticist at 1:55 PM on April 9, 2008

I became an Episcopalian last year, after growing up Roman Catholic. Feel free to MetaMail me if you have questions or want to hash things over with a friendly ear.

Much depends on the parish you have chosen and the diocese to which it belongs. Some are "high church" (bells, incense, choral music, sung elements in the liturgy which are often Anglican or Gregorian chant, etc) and some are "low church" (familiar hymns, the liturgy contains fewer sung elements and more spoken ones, no incense, and so on), and yet others blend the two - or, as my church does, offer both kinds at different times on Sunday. If you would like to receive a blessing during communion, the priest may explain what to do from the pulpit, and it will likely be included in the pamphlet you receive as you enter - if you were coming to church with me, you would follow everyone to the communion rail and cross your arms over your chest to indicate what you'd like to receive. The church you're visiting, depending on size, may have both ushers and greeters out front, and possibly even a third group of people specifically focused on welcoming newcomers; the parish website might give you an idea.

The larger schism issues are sometimes hard to tease out, and it varies from parish to parish even within a diocese that takes a firm position. As ottereroticist says, you can always just ask someone after the service, during coffee.
posted by catlet at 1:56 PM on April 9, 2008

Like Jeanne, I've seen huge differences from church to church in terms of style, level of formality, etc. By and large, though, those churches I've attended in urban settings have tended to be more formal in terms of ritual and more liberal in terms of social/political issues. (Take this with a grain of salt, though-- I've rarely been to episcopal churches outside of cities) If you're wondering about the actual worship service, episcopal churches almost always hand out a detailed service bulletin, with relatively clear step-by-step instructions. You may also find the episcopal church visitor's guide helpful. Good luck!
posted by BundleOfHers at 1:58 PM on April 9, 2008

Jeanne is totally right about the high and low church. I grew up in a very low church parish which was not very liberal socially and my current parish is high church and liberal (gay rector, several women clergy).

To gauge a church, you can likely find out a lot from its web page, or perhaps see if it is affiliated with an Integrity chapter.

It's Easter season, so if you attend a parish like mine, there will be less kneeling than usual (as less of a focus on penitence), but generally if you watch the rest of the congregation or the folks who assist the priests (acolytes, lay readers, etc) you'll get a good idea about when to sit or stand pr whatever. You are welcome to go to the communion rail for communion or a blessing, but it's not weird if you don't - some visitors don't and some regulars sometimes don't (when I am sniffly, I am paranoid about coughing all over the wafers so I stay put) ;)

Many parishes do have greeters who before or after the service stand in the narthex and say hello to newcomers.

Asfor the schism, it doesn't come up a lot at my church, and I don't even think it's a huge deal in our diocese (our bishop, iirc, was in favor of consecrating NH Bishop Robinson who is gay). The schism affects me the most in discussions with my family which contains both conservatives and liberals.

Sorry this is so long; our parish does have a webpage with FAQs for visitors; I'd be happy to mefi mail you if you like. Feel free to mail me if you have questions.
posted by pointystick at 2:03 PM on April 9, 2008

The Mystery Worshiper visits a lot of Episcopal churches, with pretty good descriptions of the highs and lows of the services.
posted by beagle at 2:06 PM on April 9, 2008

It's very formal (but I haven't gone since I was 15), there is also generally an early service with almost no music that'll get you in and out the door in about 35 minutes, which my family always saw as a big plus.
posted by whoaali at 2:25 PM on April 9, 2008

I am also a newish Episcopalian, and one of the things that totally surprised me about my church was the passing of the peace. Not every Episcopal church is like this, of course, but at mine people literally get out of their pews and walk around to pass the peace. There is hugging and kissing and chatting and it is totally different from any other church I have ever attended.
I grew up Roman Catholic, so the liturgy is very familiar. You can take a look at the Book of Common Prayer online if you'd like to check it out
It looks like you're in MD and the former Bishop there was one of the Bishops that voted for Gene Robinson. As far as the split goes, my diocese is in general pretty liberal, but my parish is relatively conservative and we didn't lose anyone over Bishop Robinson or Presiding Bishop Jefferts Schori. To keep up with what is going on regarding the so-called schism I check out Father Jake's blog frequently.
I have felt truly welcome in the Episcopal Church after having been wounded by my previous denomination. I hope you find the same welcome and a new spiritual home!
posted by Biblio at 2:30 PM on April 9, 2008

I grew up with Episcopalian parents and was close to church through my youth, though I haven't been in a church in years. This a perception only, not necessarily reality. My experience past and present was that the majority of Episcopalians are slightly quirky. They seem in some sense, to be the outliers of christianity. Part of this quirkyness seemed to me to be an obsession with the inner workings of the church.
posted by Xurando at 2:34 PM on April 9, 2008

I was raised in the Episcopalian church, and incidentally, I've found myself enjoying Southern Baptist services much more as of late.

I was an acolyte from the lowly torch bearer up to the second server (second highest, I shifted the highest on my sis so I didn't have to help prepare communion). I'll try and respond to your questions and also describe what I see as differences in service from the Baptist and the Episcopalian.

First, the music generally won't be the same. Perhaps there's episcopal churches that are different, and from the above, it seems possible, but generally the music is much more formal and classical. You won't hear the hymns you sang growing up. At my church, generally you had two readings from the Bible, usually by individuals who have volunteered for the role (and they might wear white robes) and once by the pastor. One thing to not freak out about is that if you do want to accept communion, at least at my church, everyone drank from the same chalice/cup up front at the altar. Generally, the cup is wiped with a cloth after every person drinks. People are also called up to the altar by pew by the same folks who pass around the collection plates. So you'll know to go when they come to your aisle and everyone shifts off.

There's a recitation of the Nicene Creed and of course, the Pastor's sermon. The description of "pass the peace" above occurred at my church, but it was termed "Greeting your neighbor" or something. Basically, its the same thing that you did in your Baptist church when everyone turned around, shook hands, etc..etc. Though, at my church it didn't involve a lot of moving around, just staying in the aisle and greeting those around you. There are recitals from the Book of Common Prayer, but you will be told what page to open the book to (Generally the black book, and hymn book was generally red) and what to read. Sometimes they just print it in the flyer they hand out when you arrive.

Service starts when the priest walks in with the torchbearers (kids in robes holding candles) and the cross. The torchbearers will light the candles at the altar, and at the end, they will extinguish them, and the same procession will depart. There will be a mini-procession where the crossbearer (the guy with the cross) will sometimes lead out the kids for Sunday school while the rest of the service continues.

Generally, from my own comparison of the Episcopal and Baptist services, especially after I went back to my church after a few years away, was that the Episcopal service is very formal, and my own feeling, impersonal and cold. There isn't as much a sense of fellowship with the other church members as I felt in a Baptist service, and I left feeling no where as fulfilled.

That said, my parents were both raised in the Baptist church and they picked out the Episcopal church to raise us in and quite enjoyed it. Naturally, if you're unhappy with the beliefs being preached, then it doesn't really matter how the service goes. Good luck in your search and I hope you find a congregation that simply makes you fill happy to be in church.
posted by Atreides at 4:05 PM on April 9, 2008

Thank you all for the information so far. I haven't marked any best answers simply because every single response so far has been a "best answer"!
posted by LeeJay at 4:22 PM on April 9, 2008

Just as a bit of an aside about the liberal/conservative split: my family used to go to The Falls Church (one of the ones that broke off from the main body of the Episcopal Church in the US), and you could definitely tell that things were headed in that direction for a long time. In discerning whether a church is liberal or conservative, it's not so much anything specific as it is a general vibe. I personally try to steer away from places I see as "evangelical" or stuff like that, but I'm generally much more in favor of a very liberal church.

Having said that, I pretty much totally agree with every other comment here on this issue. It really varies from church to church -- high services versus low services, formal versus casual, conservative versus liberal. They don't necessarily go together, either. I went to a reasonably formal service for Easter last year (with chant and incense and all) led by a gay priest and a woman. My old church had a very non-traditional (i.e., "low") service and very conservative values (as evidenced by their split). In general, you really have to feel it out.

As far as the other things, it's all fairly routine. At the service I went to last Easter, in the church I had never been to before, I stumbled a bit -- but it was alright. In general you can pretty much just do what all the other people around you do. And if you mess up or look confused, it's not exactly like everyone's going to be laughing at you -- every service I have ever attended was full of very loving and caring people who were willing to help. If you want to get in and out with as little mess as possible, try to go to an earlier service. If you want to spend more time in the service (and really get a feel for what the vast majority of Episcopal services are like), go to a slightly later one -- say around 10:30 or 11.

I guess I have kind of a difference from Atreides (as another raised in the Episcopal Church) in that I've generally found all the rites and rituals of the Episcopal Church to be more comforting than services of other denominations I've attended. Maybe their familiarity is helpful -- I don't know. But hopefully you'll be able to figure out what's good for you. Good luck!

(Dang, now you've got me all reminiscing and I feeling bad that I haven't even been to church in over a year!)
posted by malthas at 5:39 PM on April 9, 2008

I am a new-ish Episcopalian as well. I grew up a mix of Lutheran/Methodist and Catholic (we were sent to Catholic schools.) Go to the 'Coffee Hour' afterwards, where everyone mingles and you can get a LOT of your questions answered. Be honest - ask if they are liberal or conservative. If they are conservative, ask where the nearest liberal church is. They won't be offended, they will just be happy that you are checking them out.

Also, and perhaps this is only my church (?) but you can dip the bread in the wine if you don't want to drink from the cup. I know you said you we're taking communion, I just thought I would mention it considering I used to HATE to drink out of the chalice. It just weirds me out!

Also check out Father Matthew's YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/user/FatherMatthew
You can email him at curate(at) ccrye(dot)com, link him to this, and ask him for advice. He will get back to you relatively quickly. He pretty much single-handedly converted me.

A lot of churches will ask you to put on a nametag. This denotes to the rest of the congregation that you are new, and they will usually go out of their way to be friendly to you and in my church someone will sit with you and quietly answer your questions during the mass. Again, this may just be my church.

I hope I helped, and again, the Episcopal Church Welcomes You!
posted by TheArpenter at 6:09 PM on April 9, 2008

The Arpenter: I'm always convinced I'll spill wine all over myself, so I've always dipped the bread in the cup in every Episcopal service I've attended. Nobody's ever minded, and in fact in some places it's been the norm over drinking directly from the cup.
posted by malthas at 6:41 PM on April 9, 2008

It varies a lot. Geography has a lot to do with it. The parish my Dad grew up in (just north of Boston) is high church and middle-of-the-road politically-- it's barely hanging on (the area is now strongly predominantly Italian Catholic) and can't afford to offend anyone.

My late grandmother's later congregation (she moved when she was widowed) is low church but conservative-- it's in Western New Hampshire and elderly. People were cordial but cool and I can't imagine gay people being welcomed unless they're rather restrained.

My father-in-law, who's gay, and his partner attend an episcopal congregation outside of Philadelphia that is high church and liberal. The congregation is about 40% gay families and is the most liberal church in the area.

So there's no consistency in terms of formality, and formality is no guarantee of how tolerant the congregation will be. Best example-- by total coincidence, a close friend's grandfather is the former rector of a church that my aunt and uncle attended (in West Newbury Massachusetts). Under his direction in the 70's and 80's, according to my aunt, it was a very liberal church. Under it's present leadership, it's threatening to (or has already) break from the Episcopal Church to the auspices of some conservative African member of the Anglican Communion.

So you don't what you're getting in terms of procedure or politics until you check it out. The only things Episcopalians have in common is the Book of Common Prayer and communion. A lot of the answers here are biased by small sample size, I think-- Episcopalian services can range from only slightly more formal than liberal Methodist or Baptist to bordering on the formality and politics that you might associate with Catholics. And the formality and politics are not necessarily connected.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:41 PM on April 9, 2008

My father is an Episcopal priest. He's firmly on the left side of the political spectrum, and he frequently finds himself picking up new parishioners who have left "the other" Episcopal church in town because of his political views. Of course, he also loses some parishioners who assume he's a godless, divorced commie who will lead him to hell. But in my experience, if there are multiple churches in town, they will frequently align with left or right politics.

We have that happening in Colorado Springs right now where half the congregation has left one church to get away from a preacher who seems to think his main spiritual role is filching all the dioceses'' money and foaming at the mouth about gays.

My dad likes high church traditions. He tried to sing/chant services in the past, but he's tone deaf, so he was asked to stop. The hymnbook he uses is traditional - good 19th century dirges with a few modern "Morning has Broken" numbers interspersed. As people have said before, the service has three readings - two by laypeople, one gospel reading by the priest that comes in between verses of a hymn. Communion is open - none of this No Catholic, No Wafer exclusion that I suffered in Sacred Heart middle school ("hah hah - you're going to hell").

In my experience (In the fine tradition of preacher's kids, I don't go to church anymore), services lasted about an hour, maybe 75 minutes. You get your circulation moving during the exchange of the peace and communion; otherwise you stand for hymns, kneel for prayers, and sit for readings. And if I remember correctly, there is a Prayers for the People segment where you can name anyone you want to pray for, but that's about it for audience participation.

Speaking as a godless heathen, it's a nice denomination.
posted by bibliowench at 1:11 PM on April 10, 2008

Again, thank you to everyone who has answered. I can't wait to go to church on Sunday and I feel ready, well-armed with all this information.
posted by LeeJay at 2:13 PM on April 10, 2008