How do I find my match?
March 2, 2008 7:31 AM Subscribe
I'm a straight guy and I have several kinks which drive me wild in bed. I'd like to date a straight girl who has similar kinks which drive her wild in bed. But I don't want to get into fetish lifestyles or anything extreme (unfortunately kink owners tend to get polarized into one big group of "alternative people" who dress in rubber and go to subterranean bondage clubs every week) - I just want a regularish relationship with some special orders in the bedroom. How do I do this?
posted by anonymous to human relations (18 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I can't find out during dating - hey what's your favorite movie, author, sexual deviation? I don't want to wait until I end up in the bedroom to find out that they're into R&B and I'm into Death Metal, so to speak. And I know I could join a club - let's say an S&M club - but I did that once (well, I went to the orientation meeting) but I got the impression that it was more of a place for couples to do their thing in front of other people (and that ain't my thing). The members were also of a significantly different age group and it just didn't seem a viable place to meet a potential partner. Finally, yes I know there's a bunch of sites online relating to kinks, but... are attractive girls in the personals of BDSM sites for real? I'm guessing not so much. Also, a lot of personals on BDSM sites come over as a bit extreme - there are people looking for Masters, Mistresses, 24/7 BDSM lifestyles etc - and I'm not looking for that. I don't want to dress in black and own custom equipment and essentially take it all too seriously (not that there's anything wrong with that!) - I just want a regular go for hikes/ dinner/ vacation together relationship with some particular flavors thrown in in the bedroom.