Dating for Dummies, Chapter 73: Getting Physical.
Through a series of life choices and unfortunate circumstances, I'm an adult on the young end of my thirties who has had very little dating experience and almost no experience with the physical aspects of affection.
But I've begun dating a woman. It is in the very early stages, and we're not dating exclusively yet. Because I've had so little physical experience, were I to rely solely on what "feels right," I'd be moving far too quickly, and this means I can't rely solely on my physical instincts right now.
When do people, on the average, begin doing various physical things in their relationship? On what date do people first kiss? On what date do people first French-kiss? On what date do people make out on the couch? On what date do people actually have sex?
I know that the answers to these questions will vary widely, but I imagine there are rough averages one can eke out.
Why am I asking? Aside from just wanting to know, I don't want to make her feel as if there's no chemistry because I'm failing to make physical gestures at the usual points in a relationship at which people do such things, and I think because of my desire (and my fear of the unknown), I'm more likely to be overly
restraining myself, instead of going too fast.
Also, I'm highly embarrassed to even be asking these next two questions, but:
(a) I've not even really kissed much. I think I'll be kissing her goodnight on our upcoming date. I'd like not to resemble a dead fish. Are there Mefi questions, webpages, YouTube videos, or anything on which I can get a quick primer?
(b) A sixth-season episode
of Sex and the City
featured Kim Cattrall's character balking when her beau tried to hold her hand, her objection being that it was a more intimate, serious gesture than kissing and such. Was this just a dumb Sex and the City
plot, or does such a statement actually reflect modern sensibilities? I would have thought holding hands to be a small, harmless thing.