"I fart in your general direction." Please help us stop! The guy in my pilates class thanks you!

January 24, 2008 9:06 AM

Ladies and Pilates - question about unintended sounds during class. I know it's normal but is there any way to clamp down to quiet down once in a while? This doesn't seem to happen as much during yoga, and it doesn't matter if I've had sex recently or not.

I'd like to be able to cut down on the vaginal farts, aka queefs during pilates class.

These are mat based classes (no machines) and the sounds seem to happen during the rolling exercises. I sometimes take the class with friends, and it's a small enough town that I see people around. I'd rather not share those little sounds with them, if possible. Are there any core exercises, or positions, to reduce the sounds? Kegels? Mula Bandha focus (like yoga)? Or is it just practice?

I know it's just air going in and out (hello, sex) but during quiet moments it can be a little irritating. I know others have had this problem (I've heard them) and I've talked to friends, but we're all new at this and wondering if some more experienced pilates folks have any suggestions.

posted by barometer to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (9 answers total)

Tampon?
posted by pseudostrabismus at 10:02 AM on January 24, 2008

Could you wear some tight swim pants, made out of a non-natural material? I'm thinking that they'd be figure hugging enough not to be seen, and the synthetic material would help cut down on the amount of "airflow".
posted by Solomon at 10:16 AM on January 24, 2008

don't use a tampon. you're not supposed to have those in you if you're not on your period.

anyway. is this a fart that's channeling its way and releasing by your vag, or is it something else?
posted by misanthropicsarah at 10:55 AM on January 24, 2008

Yeah, no, it's not a real fart, they're the kind of vaginal air pockets you get during sex. More like a squeaking sound than a toot. The women I've spoken with described them in the same way... there is in fact a wikipedia page on it.

A tampon is an interesting idea...perhaps worth a try, even though I'm a little reluctant to use one without my period.
posted by barometer at 11:27 AM on January 24, 2008

If you're only going to have the tampon in for less than an hour, how much harm could it do you really.
posted by orange swan at 11:38 AM on January 24, 2008

I've had a few of these happen over the years, and it's a bit embarassing. I think kegels might help. (And tampons don't stop them. I speak from experience.)

For me, they went away as my core strength got better, so I wasn't relaxing and tightening those muscles quite so dramatically over and over again, if that makes sense.
posted by doubtful_guest at 11:46 AM on January 24, 2008

Where nobody can see you or hear you, find a floor and lay on your back. Bring your knees to your chest and hug your arms around underneath/or right over your knees and grab onto your wrist to keep your grasp. Now, rock forward-and-back, forward-and-back. The rocking motion gets the air out. This is good for internal wind issues. Also I suggest standing with your knees slightly bent and twisting for about ten minutes. Move your weight from leg to leg. It is good exercise, a good stretch, and gets stuff moving. Of course, you could always abstain from intercourse on days you have the pilates class.

I like how my yoga teacher plays music during class. It is relaxing and liberating, especially for us noisy gals. Perhaps your pilates teacher could play music.
posted by mamaraks at 11:48 AM on January 24, 2008

Thanks, doubtful_guest: I can see how core strength would prevent those muscles from opening/closing over and over again while I'm trying to do all of the exercises. I'll just keep doing Pilates and see if it eventually stops a bit.

And thanks mamaraks: I'll try getting rid of some of it before going, but honestly I haven't noticed a difference from the beginning of class to the end of class. Indeed, it only happened once yesterday, but it was towards the end of class -- that's totally the rocking motion that brings them on too. And it doesn't really make a difference as far as sex goes.

So...I'll try a tampon, keep going with the kegels and core strength. I know - I totally wish she played music during the class.
posted by barometer at 12:02 PM on January 24, 2008

To stop from making this agonized face, thinking of your potential ouchies, I have to say: lubricate the tampon.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:17 PM on January 28, 2008