Which gender????
January 17, 2008 6:33 PM Subscribe
Bisexual male confusion. Which gender do they actually prefer?
With all the talk re- bisexuality. Sen Craig most recently had made male bisexuality more openly discussed. But the nagging question for me and perhaps other women is: when push comes to shove, will a bisexual man choose or I guess tend to lean to same sex attraction/ homosexual needs or is it a truly even 50/50 split????? I tend to think they will go for same sex ( homo), all things being equal.
Due to my own unfortunate experience and then reading a book recommended by an RN working in HIV/STD clinic titled On the down low, I've only recently learned how prevalent the brokeback wife/girlfriend syndrome exists. What's the deal???
With all the talk re- bisexuality. Sen Craig most recently had made male bisexuality more openly discussed. But the nagging question for me and perhaps other women is: when push comes to shove, will a bisexual man choose or I guess tend to lean to same sex attraction/ homosexual needs or is it a truly even 50/50 split????? I tend to think they will go for same sex ( homo), all things being equal.
Due to my own unfortunate experience and then reading a book recommended by an RN working in HIV/STD clinic titled On the down low, I've only recently learned how prevalent the brokeback wife/girlfriend syndrome exists. What's the deal???
This post was deleted for the following reason: This is kind of wacky and unanswerable; it's pretty much chatfilter as you've presented it. -- cortex
This is easily the best question ever asked on AskMe.
In fact, it's so good you might take it to Yahoo Answers instead, I'm sure you'll get many more responses which intellectually stimulate you.
posted by InnocentBystander at 6:37 PM on January 17, 2008 [11 favorites]
In fact, it's so good you might take it to Yahoo Answers instead, I'm sure you'll get many more responses which intellectually stimulate you.
posted by InnocentBystander at 6:37 PM on January 17, 2008 [11 favorites]
Every expert in the area will tell you sexuality is a spectrum. This can and will differ from person to person so there's no good answer ot this question.
posted by bitdamaged at 6:38 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by bitdamaged at 6:38 PM on January 17, 2008
I don't think this kind of generalization is possible, or if it is, I seriously doubt its usefulness. Most people I know who identify as bisexual are adamant about choosing personalities, not gender. A couple of people I know reached a point where they realized they tended to fall harder for one gender or another, but it didn't seem like choosing - just a recognition of their own inclinations. And it was pretty much divided evenly.
But that's just people who were choosing based solely on their feelings. I think your question overlooks the other factors that influence people's decisions: pressure from society, family, internal prejudice, and so on. It's infinitely complicated, and I've never seen a satisfactory generalization for the simple reason that it just reduces the situation too drastically to be useful.
posted by bassjump at 6:38 PM on January 17, 2008
But that's just people who were choosing based solely on their feelings. I think your question overlooks the other factors that influence people's decisions: pressure from society, family, internal prejudice, and so on. It's infinitely complicated, and I've never seen a satisfactory generalization for the simple reason that it just reduces the situation too drastically to be useful.
posted by bassjump at 6:38 PM on January 17, 2008
I would imagine it would depend on the person. Just like a heterosexual person, or a homosexual.
I don't understand this whole they're bisexual so they sleep with everyone and can't be monogamous thing.
But yeah, I don't think there really is a definitive answer to this.
posted by beautifulcheese at 6:39 PM on January 17, 2008
I don't understand this whole they're bisexual so they sleep with everyone and can't be monogamous thing.
But yeah, I don't think there really is a definitive answer to this.
posted by beautifulcheese at 6:39 PM on January 17, 2008
Yes, sexuality is a spectrum. Also, this from one of your prior questions.
posted by pinksoftsoap at 6:44 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by pinksoftsoap at 6:44 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
You're talking about millions of different individuals here. There's no easy answer.
posted by jonmc at 6:48 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by jonmc at 6:48 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
If it helps, think about bisexuality this way:
Some people prefer blondes. Some prefer redheads. Some prefer brunettes. Then there are others who are attracted to any or all of those possibilities. It doesn't mean they won't be able to settle down with one person despite liking different attributes.
posted by explosion at 6:49 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
Some people prefer blondes. Some prefer redheads. Some prefer brunettes. Then there are others who are attracted to any or all of those possibilities. It doesn't mean they won't be able to settle down with one person despite liking different attributes.
posted by explosion at 6:49 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
You're kidding, right?
You're talking about MILLIONS OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE - and even within the individual, the answer will vary from time to time.
posted by pompomtom at 6:50 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
You're talking about MILLIONS OF DIFFERENT PEOPLE - and even within the individual, the answer will vary from time to time.
posted by pompomtom at 6:50 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
We don't really know if people like Senator Craig are bisexual men who happen to have difficulty being monogamous or if they're gay men trying to appear straight for social/political/religious reasons.
posted by needs more cowbell at 6:51 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by needs more cowbell at 6:51 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
My best friend and former partner has shifted from 50/50 when we were together to close to exclusively female attraction, as he is married to an awesome woman now. He's by far not the only monogamous bi male I know, and I have bounced around a bit too... I don't think there's a standard rule of thumb, as there are so many variables: culture, environment, social permissiveness, family, genetics, you name it. You can argue that we're all latently bisexual, but the conditions around us have a large part in how much of one or the other comes out (look at animal populations; there is an interesting amount of sexual variance there too).
No easy answers, and because there are still vast swaths of society embedded in sexual taboo, there's surely more going on unawares than can ever be analyzed.
posted by moonbird at 6:53 PM on January 17, 2008
No easy answers, and because there are still vast swaths of society embedded in sexual taboo, there's surely more going on unawares than can ever be analyzed.
posted by moonbird at 6:53 PM on January 17, 2008
I've only recently learned how prevalent the brokeback wife/girlfriend syndrome exists.
I'm not trying to be mean here but you sound a little...paranoid here.
posted by jonmc at 6:53 PM on January 17, 2008
I'm not trying to be mean here but you sound a little...paranoid here.
posted by jonmc at 6:53 PM on January 17, 2008
GoodJob, there is simply no generalization that is going to keep you safe. Stop obsessing about this. If you find yourself starting a new relationship, simply talk to the guy. Ask about his history, and tell him about yours by way of explaining your questions.
But, really, neither Ask MetaFilter nor J.L King nor Ang Lee nor all the question marks in the world are going to assuage you. You'll just have to keep living, and get over your crappy, lying ex the old fashioned way; with time, and distance, and ice cream.
posted by minervous at 6:55 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
But, really, neither Ask MetaFilter nor J.L King nor Ang Lee nor all the question marks in the world are going to assuage you. You'll just have to keep living, and get over your crappy, lying ex the old fashioned way; with time, and distance, and ice cream.
posted by minervous at 6:55 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: As I already indicated, I had no idea how much hidden male bisexuality truly exists. Now, I'm sure a certain percentage of women do also hide their bisexuality to some degree but purely as a guess I'm thinking more males hide the behavior. And yes, if a heterosexual woman catches HIV from her secret bisexual boyfriend I think there are no words to describe the level of disgust and shame.
From my research, there are no civil laws to address the situation and potential risk to heterosexual women falsely believing they are within a monogamous relationship. And yet insurance companies and other organizations such as the Red Cross can and do take exception to active male bisexuality.
posted by GoodJob! at 6:57 PM on January 17, 2008
From my research, there are no civil laws to address the situation and potential risk to heterosexual women falsely believing they are within a monogamous relationship. And yet insurance companies and other organizations such as the Red Cross can and do take exception to active male bisexuality.
posted by GoodJob! at 6:57 PM on January 17, 2008
if a heterosexual woman catches HIV from her secret bisexual boyfriend I think there are no words to describe the level of disgust and shame
The disgust should be because the person was decietful and callous, not because of their sexuality. Would it be somehow better if the HIV was picked up from a woman? or heroin?
posted by jonmc at 7:01 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
The disgust should be because the person was decietful and callous, not because of their sexuality. Would it be somehow better if the HIV was picked up from a woman? or heroin?
posted by jonmc at 7:01 PM on January 17, 2008 [1 favorite]
"I tend to think they will go for same sex ( homo), all things being equal." == chatfilter
posted by misterbrandt at 7:05 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by misterbrandt at 7:05 PM on January 17, 2008
From my research, there are no civil laws to address the situation and potential risk to heterosexual women falsely believing they are within a monogamous relationship.
My God, could you imagine if infidelity were a tort? It would bring the US legal system to its knees.
posted by mr_roboto at 7:06 PM on January 17, 2008
My God, could you imagine if infidelity were a tort? It would bring the US legal system to its knees.
posted by mr_roboto at 7:06 PM on January 17, 2008
The red cross doesn't care about active male bisexuality. If you are a male and you have ever had another man's schlong down your throat they care. Even if it was once when you were really, really, really drunk.
oh, and you can catch HIV from your perfectly hetero cheating boyfriend as well as the secretly bisexual one. Just so ya know.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:06 PM on January 17, 2008
oh, and you can catch HIV from your perfectly hetero cheating boyfriend as well as the secretly bisexual one. Just so ya know.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:06 PM on January 17, 2008
when push comes to shove, will a bisexual man choose or I guess tend to lean to same sex attraction/ homosexual needs or is it a truly even 50/50 split?
Might depend on which of the "rivals" gives a good job.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:07 PM on January 17, 2008
Might depend on which of the "rivals" gives a good job.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:07 PM on January 17, 2008
...there are no civil laws to address the situation and potential risk to heterosexual women falsely believing they are within a monogamous relationship
Whether it's with a bisexual man or a lesbian or a straight man, etc.
No, there aren't any laws regarding relationships. That's because relationships are part of personal responsibility. If you're in a bad one, it's your responsibility to get out of it. If you make the mistake of having unprotected sex with an untrustworthy individual, well, the burden of the consequences is on you.
posted by nursegracer at 7:09 PM on January 17, 2008
Whether it's with a bisexual man or a lesbian or a straight man, etc.
No, there aren't any laws regarding relationships. That's because relationships are part of personal responsibility. If you're in a bad one, it's your responsibility to get out of it. If you make the mistake of having unprotected sex with an untrustworthy individual, well, the burden of the consequences is on you.
posted by nursegracer at 7:09 PM on January 17, 2008
Response by poster: I am not saying that male bisexuals are the only ones capable of spreading HIV, but what the research proves is that male homosexual activity, more specifically unprotected male to male anal sex falls within a higher risk group.
And yes the sports star Magic Johnson said years ago he believed he picked up HIV from a female hooker but now with all the Down Low info I've read, I'm starting to wonder if he caught it from a down low buddy??????
posted by GoodJob! at 7:09 PM on January 17, 2008
And yes the sports star Magic Johnson said years ago he believed he picked up HIV from a female hooker but now with all the Down Low info I've read, I'm starting to wonder if he caught it from a down low buddy??????
posted by GoodJob! at 7:09 PM on January 17, 2008
From my research, there are no civil laws to address the situation and potential risk to heterosexual women falsely believing they are within a monogamous relationship.
There are criminal penalties for not telling someone you're having sex with that you're HIV positive, if you're HIV positive, in New York for sure, and probably other states as well.
Men are punished much for severely than women in this (U.S.) culture for trangressing sexual norms, and so many feel they have to stay closeted. However, a guy who cheats on his partner and put her at risk for STDs is an asshole, no matter who he's cheating with.
Sorry. What was the question? Bisexual male confusion. Which gender do they actually prefer?
You'll have to ask them.
posted by rtha at 7:10 PM on January 17, 2008
There are criminal penalties for not telling someone you're having sex with that you're HIV positive, if you're HIV positive, in New York for sure, and probably other states as well.
Men are punished much for severely than women in this (U.S.) culture for trangressing sexual norms, and so many feel they have to stay closeted. However, a guy who cheats on his partner and put her at risk for STDs is an asshole, no matter who he's cheating with.
Sorry. What was the question? Bisexual male confusion. Which gender do they actually prefer?
You'll have to ask them.
posted by rtha at 7:10 PM on January 17, 2008
It would bring the US legal system to its knees. So to speak...
posted by phrontist at 7:10 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by phrontist at 7:10 PM on January 17, 2008
And yes the sports star Magic Johnson said years ago he believed he picked up HIV from a female hooker but now with all the Down Low info I've read, I'm starting to wonder if he caught it from a down low buddy??????
I meant this
posted by mr_roboto at 7:12 PM on January 17, 2008
I meant this
posted by mr_roboto at 7:12 PM on January 17, 2008
And yes the sports star Magic Johnson said years ago he believed he picked up HIV from a female hooker but now with all the Down Low info I've read, I'm starting to wonder if he caught it from a down low buddy??????
Really?????? Why don't you ask him?
posted by jonmc at 7:13 PM on January 17, 2008
Really?????? Why don't you ask him?
posted by jonmc at 7:13 PM on January 17, 2008
So you're taking an infamously anecdotal book, and plying its premise to wonder if maybe Magic Johnson might possibly be bi - which is much less likely, statistically speaking, than his sleeping with women who happened to have HIV...
You're being paranoid, and chatfilter besides. Please calm down and stop equating bisexuality with infidelity.
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:13 PM on January 17, 2008
You're being paranoid, and chatfilter besides. Please calm down and stop equating bisexuality with infidelity.
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:13 PM on January 17, 2008
You're being kind of ridiculous.
It's biologically more likely for males to pass on HIV than for women to do so. That doesn't mean every prominent case of HIV is because of OMG teh gay, no matter how many books you've read.
posted by ook at 7:13 PM on January 17, 2008
It's biologically more likely for males to pass on HIV than for women to do so. That doesn't mean every prominent case of HIV is because of OMG teh gay, no matter how many books you've read.
posted by ook at 7:13 PM on January 17, 2008
My God, could you imagine if infidelity were a tort? It would bring the US legal system to its knees.
There was a recent case being discussed on WBAL about a week ago about a man who sued another man for stealing his wife. He won a $750K verdict.
posted by MegoSteve at 7:14 PM on January 17, 2008
There was a recent case being discussed on WBAL about a week ago about a man who sued another man for stealing his wife. He won a $750K verdict.
posted by MegoSteve at 7:14 PM on January 17, 2008
Response by poster: I have nothing against anyone's sexual orientation. Please let me make that perfectly clear. I only have a problem with the lying cheats whether they be male or female.
posted by GoodJob! at 7:20 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by GoodJob! at 7:20 PM on January 17, 2008
A recent study observes that bi-identified men tend to have a physical sexual response to porn that aligns closely with the responses of straight or gay men --- i.e., most bi men are only getting physically aroused in response to one sex or the other, not both. In this study, 75% of the subjects matched the arousal pattern of the gay men.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 7:22 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 7:22 PM on January 17, 2008
I have nothing against anyone's sexual orientation. Please let me make that perfectly clear. I only have a problem with the lying cheats whether they be male or female.
Fine. But the question you're asking seems, while probably not malicious, kind of ignorant, which is why some people are ticked off, but at the same time we're trying to school you on this.
posted by jonmc at 7:23 PM on January 17, 2008
Fine. But the question you're asking seems, while probably not malicious, kind of ignorant, which is why some people are ticked off, but at the same time we're trying to school you on this.
posted by jonmc at 7:23 PM on January 17, 2008
Adultery is a crime in Maryland - $10 fine. Md. Crim Code §10–501.
posted by footnote at 7:24 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by footnote at 7:24 PM on January 17, 2008
I only have a problem with the lying cheats whether they be male or female.
Did you have a bad experience or something? This is the second time in four months you've asked a question about bisexual men. It really comes off like you have an ax to grind, and I'm not sure that's appropriate here.
posted by MegoSteve at 7:25 PM on January 17, 2008
Did you have a bad experience or something? This is the second time in four months you've asked a question about bisexual men. It really comes off like you have an ax to grind, and I'm not sure that's appropriate here.
posted by MegoSteve at 7:25 PM on January 17, 2008
GoodJob, I'm pretty sure the number of closeted bisexuals is dwarfed by the number of straight men cheating on their partners with prostitutes, or engaged in unsafe IV needle sharing, both of which are just as good ways to get HIV as being bi. Your vilification of bi's is ... a little creepy.
posted by Reverend John at 7:25 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by Reverend John at 7:25 PM on January 17, 2008
GoodJob! --
Looking at your previous AskMe thread on this subject, you have had a very bitter and difficult personal experience. You then read a book exclusively focusing on an examination of similar bitter and difficult experiences.
You have every reason to be upset with your ex. But you are experiencing something called selection bias. Your own personal experience, and a book with a premise that reinforces it, have led you to thinking that the specifics of your experience are not only common, but nearly universal.
In fact, bisexuals cheat no more often than anybody else. They expose their partners to STDs no more often than anyone else who cheats. Yes, they are in one of the higher risk group for a particularly dangerous STD if they cheat with men are not careful, which can be frightening, but they are not better or worse people, on the whole, than anyone else.
Some bisexuals, gays, and straights cheat, and some do not. Some bisexuals who cheat do so with men, and some with women, and some with both. Some people are secretly intravenous drug users, which also exposes you to a higher risk. Knowing your partner is trustworthy is far more important than whether or not they are bisexual.
And to answer you question, when absolutely forced to choose between a man and a woman, bisexual men will choose whichever one knows more show tunes. Study up.
posted by kyrademon at 7:27 PM on January 17, 2008 [13 favorites]
Looking at your previous AskMe thread on this subject, you have had a very bitter and difficult personal experience. You then read a book exclusively focusing on an examination of similar bitter and difficult experiences.
You have every reason to be upset with your ex. But you are experiencing something called selection bias. Your own personal experience, and a book with a premise that reinforces it, have led you to thinking that the specifics of your experience are not only common, but nearly universal.
In fact, bisexuals cheat no more often than anybody else. They expose their partners to STDs no more often than anyone else who cheats. Yes, they are in one of the higher risk group for a particularly dangerous STD if they cheat with men are not careful, which can be frightening, but they are not better or worse people, on the whole, than anyone else.
Some bisexuals, gays, and straights cheat, and some do not. Some bisexuals who cheat do so with men, and some with women, and some with both. Some people are secretly intravenous drug users, which also exposes you to a higher risk. Knowing your partner is trustworthy is far more important than whether or not they are bisexual.
And to answer you question, when absolutely forced to choose between a man and a woman, bisexual men will choose whichever one knows more show tunes. Study up.
posted by kyrademon at 7:27 PM on January 17, 2008 [13 favorites]
I have nothing against anyone's sexual orientation. Please let me make that perfectly clear. I only have a problem with the lying cheats whether they be male or female.
Then Craigslist is definitely out.
posted by moonbird at 7:27 PM on January 17, 2008
Then Craigslist is definitely out.
posted by moonbird at 7:27 PM on January 17, 2008
Response by poster: Well, I think the spectrum answer is really best. Along with the redhead vs blondes vs brunettes. However, keep in mind my question was : all other things being equal, which way will a bisexual man tend to lean??? I guessed homosexuality. The other question is: are there more bisexual men than bisexual women? Probably no clear answer to that either. Maybe sexuality is abstract like music or other forms of art so I will just see it that way now instead of trying to understand certain preferences.
posted by GoodJob! at 7:33 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by GoodJob! at 7:33 PM on January 17, 2008
Maybe sexuality is abstract like music or other forms of art so I will just see it that way now instead of trying to understand certain preferences.
...and the heavens opened...
posted by jonmc at 7:34 PM on January 17, 2008
...and the heavens opened...
posted by jonmc at 7:34 PM on January 17, 2008
I think you have three basic camps. The "scene kids" who proclaim and act on bisexual tendencies to get attention, in a way that could be directed at ultimately attracting females. Then you have those that prefer males but instead proclaim bisexuality to avoid the full stigma of a homosexual label. And then those that are just looking for love/sex/whatever regardless of gender.
It ends up being a label to most though, plain and simple...and is relegated to ones perception. Some wear it as a badge, others use it to avoid conflict, many use it to express individuality. It's the same as proclaiming you're a Gen-x'er while so many of your peers hated that label....there is never a consistency.
Bisexuality doesn't always mean both males and females are being pursued at the same time. For many its simply a way of expressing that the door would be open if the opportunity was there. It's also an expression of anti-conformity, but in less of a self affirming way that homosexuality could be. YMMV though if you really look into this with different age groups and demographics. I'm just going by the ones that I've known since highschool and I don't think you're going to get a clear answer even if you contrast the swingers in relation to those in a monogamist relationships, or those even those currently not doing anything at all.
posted by samsara at 7:42 PM on January 17, 2008
It ends up being a label to most though, plain and simple...and is relegated to ones perception. Some wear it as a badge, others use it to avoid conflict, many use it to express individuality. It's the same as proclaiming you're a Gen-x'er while so many of your peers hated that label....there is never a consistency.
Bisexuality doesn't always mean both males and females are being pursued at the same time. For many its simply a way of expressing that the door would be open if the opportunity was there. It's also an expression of anti-conformity, but in less of a self affirming way that homosexuality could be. YMMV though if you really look into this with different age groups and demographics. I'm just going by the ones that I've known since highschool and I don't think you're going to get a clear answer even if you contrast the swingers in relation to those in a monogamist relationships, or those even those currently not doing anything at all.
posted by samsara at 7:42 PM on January 17, 2008
Ah. Your most recent comment explains a lot. And yes, that's a much better way to see sexuality.
I think you were thinking of bisexuality as a set "state of being", where "bisexuality" means something in specific that applies to all people. In fact, it doesn't work like that. It lies somewhere on an infinite scale between straight and gay. And it can be fluid and change with time, or mood, or situation. And yes, all sexuality really works like that, but our culture is so obsessed with gender preference that we forget that everyone's attractions vary with time, or mood, or situation, just not necessarily along gender lines.
posted by kyrademon at 7:45 PM on January 17, 2008
I think you were thinking of bisexuality as a set "state of being", where "bisexuality" means something in specific that applies to all people. In fact, it doesn't work like that. It lies somewhere on an infinite scale between straight and gay. And it can be fluid and change with time, or mood, or situation. And yes, all sexuality really works like that, but our culture is so obsessed with gender preference that we forget that everyone's attractions vary with time, or mood, or situation, just not necessarily along gender lines.
posted by kyrademon at 7:45 PM on January 17, 2008
What's the deal???
The deal is that you've had a previous bad experience in this area and you're asking questions that are pretty impossible to answer. You were screwed over, and that sucks, but even if you had a definite answer, would that make things better, would it solve something? Sometimes people do fucked up things because they're fucked up people and in the process innocents are hurt. Often it's with the help of support network, such as family, friends or therapy that help them get over it. A combination of the those might help you. Good luck!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:45 PM on January 17, 2008
The deal is that you've had a previous bad experience in this area and you're asking questions that are pretty impossible to answer. You were screwed over, and that sucks, but even if you had a definite answer, would that make things better, would it solve something? Sometimes people do fucked up things because they're fucked up people and in the process innocents are hurt. Often it's with the help of support network, such as family, friends or therapy that help them get over it. A combination of the those might help you. Good luck!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:45 PM on January 17, 2008
However, keep in mind my question was : all other things being equal, which way will a bisexual man tend to lean???
You seem to not understand that your question is unanswerable.
Also, one question mark will suffice after your question.
posted by smich at 7:45 PM on January 17, 2008
You seem to not understand that your question is unanswerable.
Also, one question mark will suffice after your question.
posted by smich at 7:45 PM on January 17, 2008
Given the context, I think the specific question misses the point.
It's possible to be straight, and sometimes have sex with other men (or women). Prisoners and sailors can explain this to you.
Likewise, it's easily possible to be gay, marry a woman, have sex with that woman, and father children on that woman, and not be bisexual, but instead just satisfying social expectations of you or trying very hard not to be gay. Lots of gay men could explain this one to you. Hell, it's even possible to be a gay man and only ever have had sex with women.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:48 PM on January 17, 2008
It's possible to be straight, and sometimes have sex with other men (or women). Prisoners and sailors can explain this to you.
Likewise, it's easily possible to be gay, marry a woman, have sex with that woman, and father children on that woman, and not be bisexual, but instead just satisfying social expectations of you or trying very hard not to be gay. Lots of gay men could explain this one to you. Hell, it's even possible to be a gay man and only ever have had sex with women.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:48 PM on January 17, 2008
Just ask Oscar Wilde. That fop pumped out a few babies with an arabesque thrust of his dandy hips.
posted by munchingzombie at 7:55 PM on January 17, 2008
posted by munchingzombie at 7:55 PM on January 17, 2008
my question was : all other things being equal, which way will a bisexual man tend to lean???
On case it hasn't been pointed out yet, this question makes no sense whatsoever. How on earth can "all other things be equal"? The "rival" man & woman are the same height, weight, hair colour, eye colour, have the same interests, careers, incomes, tastes in music, skills in bed, senses of humour, restaurant preferences, emotional intelligence, character traits etc etc etc?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:55 PM on January 17, 2008
On case it hasn't been pointed out yet, this question makes no sense whatsoever. How on earth can "all other things be equal"? The "rival" man & woman are the same height, weight, hair colour, eye colour, have the same interests, careers, incomes, tastes in music, skills in bed, senses of humour, restaurant preferences, emotional intelligence, character traits etc etc etc?
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:55 PM on January 17, 2008
That fop pumped out a few babies with an arabesque thrust of his dandy hips.
And now munchingzombie trawls out an old stereotype about the arabs. This place has really gone to the dogs today.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:57 PM on January 17, 2008
And now munchingzombie trawls out an old stereotype about the arabs. This place has really gone to the dogs today.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:57 PM on January 17, 2008
All other things being equal, a bisexual man will tend to lean towards the person he likes the best.
Beyond that, you are asking a profoundly unanswerable question that is unanswerable because it relies on unsupportable generalizations about a wide range of people.
posted by gingerbeer at 7:59 PM on January 17, 2008
Beyond that, you are asking a profoundly unanswerable question that is unanswerable because it relies on unsupportable generalizations about a wide range of people.
posted by gingerbeer at 7:59 PM on January 17, 2008
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Depends on the individual, really.
posted by lekvar at 6:37 PM on January 17, 2008