sex, interrupted.
August 28, 2007 8:06 AM Subscribe
Is my post-coital fantasy impractical?
Be patient with me while I try to figure out the best way to get to the meat of what I'm asking.
I would guess that most couples have a certain predictable pattern of behavior that they follow post-coitus. Maybe your girlfriend always gets up, runs into the bathroom and grabs a washcloth. Maybe your boyfriend does the same. Maybe there's some sort of prophylactic involved that forces you to act a certain way. For instance, maybe you always use a condom, so immediately after sex you have to withdrawal and dispose of it.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is - I've got this kind of romanticized fantasy of sex wherein at its conclusion both participants kind of fall down together, bodies still intertwined, and lovingly pass into sleep, at which point there's a of gradual, natural parting.
No mad dashes out of bed, no hasty withdrawal, just, a bit more, relaxing, I guess.
People I've talked to about this say it's an unrealistic expectation - that physical aspects of the act - fluids and juices and such - leave ignoring immediate cleanup impractical.
So I ask, dear Mefites, is it?
Be patient with me while I try to figure out the best way to get to the meat of what I'm asking.
I would guess that most couples have a certain predictable pattern of behavior that they follow post-coitus. Maybe your girlfriend always gets up, runs into the bathroom and grabs a washcloth. Maybe your boyfriend does the same. Maybe there's some sort of prophylactic involved that forces you to act a certain way. For instance, maybe you always use a condom, so immediately after sex you have to withdrawal and dispose of it.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is - I've got this kind of romanticized fantasy of sex wherein at its conclusion both participants kind of fall down together, bodies still intertwined, and lovingly pass into sleep, at which point there's a of gradual, natural parting.
No mad dashes out of bed, no hasty withdrawal, just, a bit more, relaxing, I guess.
People I've talked to about this say it's an unrealistic expectation - that physical aspects of the act - fluids and juices and such - leave ignoring immediate cleanup impractical.
So I ask, dear Mefites, is it?
This post was deleted for the following reason: oops, didn't check with girlfriend before posting about sex life!
Well, I've done what you've described before, though I don't know if we "lovingly passed into sleep." Either way, fluids aren't so awful. I guess your best bet is to try and find out.
Don't forget to let us know how it goes.
posted by dead_ at 8:09 AM on August 28, 2007
Don't forget to let us know how it goes.
posted by dead_ at 8:09 AM on August 28, 2007
Yeah, you both just have to be comfortable with the fluids that are produced. Perhaps the partner who is more averse can remain on top, or you could always cuddle until one or the other has (sorry to put it this way) drained enough, then move over to a different part of the bed.
posted by malaprohibita at 8:15 AM on August 28, 2007
posted by malaprohibita at 8:15 AM on August 28, 2007
People I've talked to about this say it's an unrealistic expectation
You are talking to the wrong people. And, generally, the answer to these questions is "it's okay to want whatever you want sexually but you may need to work harder to find partners and/or share this vision with them."
On the other hand if you're using condoms there's going to be at least a brief "'scuse me..." period but it doesn't have to involve too much parting of bodies. On another hand, there is a certain amount of assumption to your question that "after sex" is somehow at the same point for both participants. I mean I think a lot of people enjoy rolling over (or cuddling up) and going to sleep after a good orgasm but in many cases that exact time isn't always the same for both people.
So, work on your mutual orgasm technique and your condom disposal technique and your communication skills and I think you can make this dream a reality.
posted by jessamyn at 8:19 AM on August 28, 2007
You are talking to the wrong people. And, generally, the answer to these questions is "it's okay to want whatever you want sexually but you may need to work harder to find partners and/or share this vision with them."
On the other hand if you're using condoms there's going to be at least a brief "'scuse me..." period but it doesn't have to involve too much parting of bodies. On another hand, there is a certain amount of assumption to your question that "after sex" is somehow at the same point for both participants. I mean I think a lot of people enjoy rolling over (or cuddling up) and going to sleep after a good orgasm but in many cases that exact time isn't always the same for both people.
So, work on your mutual orgasm technique and your condom disposal technique and your communication skills and I think you can make this dream a reality.
posted by jessamyn at 8:19 AM on August 28, 2007
Well, it's impractical if the lady wants to minimize the occurrance of urinary tract infections by peeing after sex. Your post-coital thing sounds nice--I'd like it if things were that way too--but as a sufferer of one-too-many UTIs and the yeast infections that follow the antibiotics it's not worth taking the risk.
posted by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on August 28, 2007
posted by Anonymous at 8:19 AM on August 28, 2007
The woman peeing after sex reduces her risk of getting a UTI.
posted by mustcatchmooseandsquirrel at 8:21 AM on August 28, 2007
posted by mustcatchmooseandsquirrel at 8:21 AM on August 28, 2007
Response by poster: "On another hand, there is a certain amount of assumption to your question that "after sex" is somehow at the same point for both participants."
I don't want to come off as one of 'those' meat-head types who does his business, then rolls over and falls asleep - my partner and I just happen to share a particular rhythm that means we usually end around the same time, which I don't think I really made clear in my question.
Either that, or one of us is faking.
posted by kbanas at 8:23 AM on August 28, 2007
I don't want to come off as one of 'those' meat-head types who does his business, then rolls over and falls asleep - my partner and I just happen to share a particular rhythm that means we usually end around the same time, which I don't think I really made clear in my question.
Either that, or one of us is faking.
posted by kbanas at 8:23 AM on August 28, 2007
schroedinger has an important point.
That said, if you keep a box of baby wipes and a wastebasket beside the bed, you can minimize the need to get up.
posted by solongxenon at 8:23 AM on August 28, 2007
That said, if you keep a box of baby wipes and a wastebasket beside the bed, you can minimize the need to get up.
posted by solongxenon at 8:23 AM on August 28, 2007
What you're suggesting is definitely possible. There are easier condom removal techniques. Obviously urinating after sex is recommended to prevent UTIs but not all people suffer from them very frequently, so that depends on the situation. I
feel like every time you have sex its different right? Sometimes its a blissful descent into slumber, and other times its another activity immediately following, or its the bathroom after or whatever. It's all good.
posted by ihope at 8:27 AM on August 28, 2007
feel like every time you have sex its different right? Sometimes its a blissful descent into slumber, and other times its another activity immediately following, or its the bathroom after or whatever. It's all good.
posted by ihope at 8:27 AM on August 28, 2007
I'm not bothered by the average fluids, but I draw the line at peeing in the bed so I don't have to get up. I am also anti-blood, particularly in my urine, and I'm dead against tears, crying while trying to pee, so I do what I have to do and I don't get UTIs. Then I go back to bed. Everyone wins that way.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:33 AM on August 28, 2007
posted by Lyn Never at 8:33 AM on August 28, 2007
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by handee at 8:08 AM on August 28, 2007