How do you maintain dignity and self-control while being dumped? Furthermore, where do you live?
I realize there are a million questions floating about on Ask MetaFilter in regards to post-break up blues, heartache, et cetera. I've skimmed through as many as possible but nothing seems to quite fit my situation and inquiries. I hope my questions, though cliche, are not redundant.
Previously, I posted this
question in regards to my now defunct relationship. He broke up with me last night. Please feel free to insert my regret, stupidity, and humilty right here. Needless to say that I did not break up with him nor did I even mention that I had been seriously considering it. Firstly, this is because I am a coward and despite my "slumbering" displeasure, I would rather endure than face it. Secondly, this is due to the fact that although we were not together for a long period of time, we were living together. I moved in with him several months ago. The lack of my living options (due the fact that I'll be moving in the fall for grad school) were definitely a deterrent to breaking up with him. He covered most other expenses. I know. I'm an awful person.
Anyway, last night we got into another horrible, alcohol-fueled argument and he broke up with me. We have had similar arguments in the past month, one in which resulted in me packing some of my stuff and threatening to leave. In the light of day, the issues we argued about were petty and absurd. However, the smallness of such arguments obviously did not negate the blow outs that took place. I feel that I am mostly at fault for these arguments. Had he not cared about me as much as he did, I think things would have ended a lot sooner.
Long story short, he told me to pack my things and get out. After some negotiating (on my end), he slept on the couch and I slept in the bedroom. He said some things about the possibility of working things out the next day. In the morning, he woke up early and took a walk. I began packing some of my belongings. When he came back, he did not say a word to me and got ready for work. Despite the glaringly obvious "get-the-hell-out-we-are-over" evidence, I felt at a loss. I asked him if we could talk and he shortly retorted that he did not want me to be there when he got back from work and then left. I promptly left as well, carrying my purse and a small shoulder bag.
Aside from the emotional upheaval of the situation, I feel completely fucked in other practical issues. I have nowhere to go and limited funding. It is impossible that I could put both a down deposit and one month's rent as of right now. I could possibly scrounge up enough money within the next two weeks, but that is two weeks from now. As far as family and friends are concerned, I feel they are out of the question. Has anyone here slept in their car for an extended period of time? Have you ever been in a situation where you do not have anywhere to live for the next two weeks to one month due to a break up? If so, what did you do? How does one go about applying for a second job (to earn more cash) without a mailing address?
Also, several days before our unexpected break up, he gave me an expensive birthday present. Would it be wrong of me to either return it to the store or pawn it in hopes of making ends meet now? Or do you think I should give it back to him?
Furthermore, I am supposed to pick up the rest of my belongings (some of which I need right now in order to job hunt) on Sunday. How do I deal with this difficult situation? I am very angry, sad, and hurt. I wish we could work things out and part of me believes we could. Then again, I might be the delusional ex. Regardless of what is plausible and what is not, I know I should not act rashly. I know I need to be objective, which is difficult for me right now. I also know I need to avoid being the crazy, needy ex begging for reconciliation. I feel that would just frustrate the situation. Is there any hope for reconciliation? If so, what can I do? If not, what can I do to make things easier? As stated previously, there are some things that I left (in my haste) that I need to assist me in finding a job or a living space. Would it be inappropriate of me to contact him tonight and ask him if I could stop over?
Sorry for the lack of brevity. Thanks in advance.