Buddhists and marraige

July 16, 2006 12:07 PM

Are Buddhist monks and nuns in the U.S. allowed to marry and have children? Or are they supposed to be celibate?
posted by tommassit to religion & philosophy (16 comments total)

It depends on their sect.
posted by dkleinst at 12:19 PM on July 16, 2006

Buddhists have sects?
posted by jayder at 12:36 PM on July 16, 2006

Buddhists have sects?

Pun intended?
posted by SpecialK at 1:17 PM on July 16, 2006

There are vows that Buddhists can take that require them to be celibate -- this is usually associated with living in a temple or house with other monks or nuns. There are other more moderate vows that Buddhists can take that are more practical for juggling outside life with religious practice, these people usually are considered lay practioners, but may be very involved in temple life. Celibacy is something that is considered to make it easier to pay attention to religious duties and attaining enlightment, not something that is higher spiritually by itself, so it's a part of the vows people take when they want to devote more attention to religion. So, it's not uncommon (and not at all problematic) in Buddhism for people to enter and exit monastic life before and after the demands of family. Usually that means before marriage and after widow/er-hood or divorce. While in a relationship, almost all Buddhist sects that I have heard of define good sexual behavior as monogamous and faithful.
posted by dness2 at 1:33 PM on July 16, 2006

At the American Zen Center I've attended, the monks are all single. However, two of the founding monks fell in love while living at the Zen Center as monks. After much meditation and discussion with the teacher, they decided it was best that they marry (and subsequently were no longer monks, but still active members of the sangha).

It's very Zen to be open to what experiences arise, and that's what happened to those two.
posted by Pocahontas at 1:42 PM on July 16, 2006

Tibetan Lamas are not necessarily monks, and lamas who are not monks are free to marry and often do. H.H Dalai Lama is a monk, fwiw.
posted by anadem at 2:33 PM on July 16, 2006

For a period of time I lived next door to a gonpa (Dechhen Ling Chagdud Tulka Gonpa) and was involved in their community through family. Most of the religious figures I met, many arriving directly from Tibet, were married and had kids.
posted by majick at 2:42 PM on July 16, 2006

can they have sects outside of marriage?
posted by ab3 at 5:08 PM on July 16, 2006

can they have sects outside of marriage?

*groan*
posted by Benway at 5:48 PM on July 16, 2006

"In the U.S." is somewhat beside the point. Buddhist tradition doesn't allow monks and nuns to marry. There are five basic vows – the pratimoksha vows – which, for a monk or nun, extend the notion of sexual misconduct to include sexual activity of any kind. The very words monk and nun imply celibate life, often lived communally with other practitioners.

There's an overlap in the set of people with monastic vows and the set of people who teach Buddhism, but one does not necessarily imply the other.
posted by zadcat at 8:19 PM on July 16, 2006

A friend's brother met his partner at the monastery, based in Japan, where they were both ... is there an ungendered noun for monks-n-nuns? Anyway, she was a nun and he was a monk. They are having a baby now and are not allowed to be monks-n-nuns anymore. But I think they still participate in the community.

But I don't know their sect, and whether the fact that it's based in Japan makes a difference.
posted by librarina at 8:21 PM on July 16, 2006

zadcat, that may be true in original, Theravada-style Buddhism, but it is not necessarily so in Mahayana Buddhism, and that includes Zen (which a lot of American Zen practicioners are). Although I guess it hinges on how strict you are about the definition of "monk" or "nun".
posted by jiawen at 1:52 AM on July 17, 2006

I am fairly certain that priests of the American Buddhist Church can marry.
posted by parmanparman at 6:51 AM on July 17, 2006

is there an ungendered noun for monks-n-nuns?

religious--yes, as a noun.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 10:04 AM on July 17, 2006

clerics?
posted by zadcat at 7:50 PM on July 17, 2006

The Buddha taught that there could be two Bodhisattva vows one could take. The first was that of a "Householder". These are the individuals who vow to help others acheive enlightenment, strive for enlightenment themselves, etc. They are allowed to marry and start families. They are important members of the Sangha. The second vow is that of a monk. There would be the vows similar to the Householder with additional monastic vows. These include the vow of celibacy. It was only after Siddhartha Gotama's Aunt begged him to allow women to take the monastic vows that women were allowed into the second group. (Showing the first documented equality between men and women in any major religion.)
posted by TauLepton at 3:01 PM on August 12, 2006