Tom Gay?

July 11, 2006 8:15 PM

Why does everyone assume Tom Cruise is gay? Call me naive, but I have never understood this. Yeah, I get that he is a batshitinsane Scientoligist. But what has he ever done to make people assume he is gay and all of his wives/girlfriends are just beards?
posted by vronsky to society & culture (96 answers total)

Have you seen Top Gun? Recently?
posted by RustyBrooks at 8:17 PM on July 11, 2006

Is that it? The whole "ride my tail anytime" speech that Tarantino riffed on? Seriously? Seems like it would have to be more than that for such widely believed rumor. Top Gun was a long time ago.
posted by vronsky at 8:24 PM on July 11, 2006

Top Gun was a long time ago.

Well, I doubt he's got any less gay since then.
posted by kindall at 8:28 PM on July 11, 2006

I never knew people assumed he was gay.
posted by DieHipsterDie at 8:32 PM on July 11, 2006

Here's a big reason.
posted by mr_roboto at 8:33 PM on July 11, 2006

There is also the rumor that stars are blackmailed by the Church of Scientology. If they leave, the church will out them. Thus, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley are all gay.
posted by Hubajube at 8:34 PM on July 11, 2006

American men are extremely obsessed with what they perceive as "proper" masculinity. Any celebrity who is considered extremely attractive by the vast majority of women, and yet who is not macho (or possibly is even slightly effeminate) is almost always rumored to be gay.
Tom Cruise. Orlando Bloom. Richard Gere. Johnny Depp. That sort of thing. These are men who take their appearance pretty seriously, and are not classically "rugged" or "macho".
I think it may be a defensive reaction the typical American male has in response to seeing a man receive considerable attention from women, and yet not fit his standards of "proper" machismo.
Just my personal theory.
posted by nightchrome at 8:35 PM on July 11, 2006 [3 favorites]

Could it be because he has openly declared himself to be gay?
posted by Meatbomb at 8:42 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

I've heard the rumor since the mid 80s, when a guy I knew claimed to have blown him in a trailor. But with all the resources the tabs must have devoted to this, you'd think they'd have something by now.
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:43 PM on July 11, 2006

That doesn't explain my wife thinking Cruise is gay, nightchrome. She's the first person I ever heard that from. It had never even occurred to me, until she told me, assuming it was common knowledge that everyone "knew" he was gay.

She is not the least bit macha, or inclined to give any credence to macho-guy opinions.
posted by teece at 8:43 PM on July 11, 2006

It could be, if he had actually done so. Evidence?
posted by Justinian at 8:44 PM on July 11, 2006

Yeah Nightchrome, I've thought that too. Like a friend's wife will say something about actor x like "He is so hot" and the husband will immediately say "He's gay" as a defense mechanism. But the rumor just seems so ingrained in American popular culture. Take the come out of the closet sketch on South Park for example.
posted by vronsky at 8:45 PM on July 11, 2006

Could it be because he has openly declared himself to be gay?

He did? When?
posted by necessitas at 8:47 PM on July 11, 2006

Nightchrome— The flip of that coin is the Rock Hudsons, who were plenty macho but not out.
posted by klangklangston at 8:48 PM on July 11, 2006

For years there have been rumors circulating among the gay community in L.A. that he maintains a Hollywood Hills rendevous where he "hooks-up" with gay men, scouted out by assistants who troll the clobs in WeHo (seeking out his "type" and getting them to sign non-disclosures before their encounters with him) on Santa Monica Blvd.

Check out Tom Cruise Gay Rumors and the myriad of websites which ponder his sexuality.
posted by ericb at 8:48 PM on July 11, 2006

Well, I think this will end up being speculative chatfilter...but..



"Thou dost protest too much."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/showbiz/1686039.stm
http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,8207,00.html
Wikipedia about his litigious nature.

Now, let's look at his behavior with Katie Holmes? Do forty year old men jump up and down on couches? Now, do men jump up and down on a couch on Oprah to "declare" their love?

Maybe he's straight. Maybe not. But there is the thought - where there's smoke, there's fire.
posted by filmgeek at 8:48 PM on July 11, 2006

Following mr_roboto's links ends up back at metafilter eventually. Um, thank you very mucho mr_roboto.
posted by about_time at 8:48 PM on July 11, 2006

Kathy Griffin last night on 'Larry King Live':

"The gays are almost willing to dump Gyllenhaal for the new Superman. Gyllenhaal's not gay either and the gays all want him. They're done with Cruise, they've had it, he's too crazy. They've moved on to Gyllenhaal and the new Superman. You know the gays are moody. You gotta keep up..."

posted by ericb at 8:51 PM on July 11, 2006

"Now, let's look at his behavior with Katie Holmes? Do forty year old men jump up and down on couches? Now, do men jump up and down on a couch on Oprah to "declare" their love?

Maybe he's straight. Maybe not. But there is the thought - where there's smoke, there's fire."

I told a friend of mine about this who was out of the country at the time and missed the whole couch jumping incident. Some internet article speculated that he had just reached CoS level OT- VII (meeting Xenu?) and this was the reason for his wild behavior. But my skeptical friend said " I would be jumping on the couch too if I was scoring A - list pussy and had more money than God."
posted by vronsky at 8:57 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

If you know anyone in LA they will have a story about their friend who is gay and works in the industry and once had a roomate who supposedly hooked up with Tom Cruise or knows someone who did. Anyone. My Mom has a friend like that. The entertainment media headquarters in LA and so I think that probably has a lot to do with it.
posted by fshgrl at 9:15 PM on July 11, 2006

It's interesting that it's always people like Tom Cruise that have the gay rumours. It's very telling.

It's never, "Did you hear that Vic Tayback is gay?" or "Wilford Brimley is totally a fag."

People wish that Tom Cruise is gay. They want so badly for him to be gay. Why?
Who knows if he is. Who cares.
posted by chococat at 9:25 PM on July 11, 2006

I can see how the story outlined in the Wikipedia article linked here helped strengthen the public perception that Cruise is gay, even though I think it's not totally convincing:

Kyle Bradford [aka Chad Slater] is ... noted for claiming he conducted a homosexual affair with actor Tom Cruise, in an interview conducted by French on line magazine Actustar. ...

Cruise categorically denied the story and sued Bradford for $100 million. Bradford denied ever having talked to Actustar, and the magazine since printed a retraction. He said of the case:

"If (Cruise's lawyers) persist, they will get a judgment against me for $100 million. Then I file bankruptcy and it's dismissed. ... ."

However, a Los Angeles judge ordered Tom Cruise to pay $27,900 in legal fees to Kristina Ann Kirstin, the ex-wife of Kyle Bradford [who] tried to sell her own story about a Bradford-Cruise affair to the National Enquirer .... Included in the four-page amendment was a declaration from Bradford saying he didn't know Cruise at all--supposedly meant to show that Kirstin fabricated her tale.

So we have this actor allegedly claiming an affair in a French magazine, Cruise threatening an obscenely huge lawsuit, and the actor then claiming he never talked to the magazine and the magazine printing a retraction. (It's not clear: did the newspaper's retraction say "yeah, there was no interview, our bad" or "oops, we were wrong to print the article and are really, really sorry we passed bad info to the public"?). When his ex-wife was sued, the actor apparently made a second statement saying that he never met Cruise.

All this is certainly consistent with a scenario where Cruise did have an affair with Bradford, then silenced him with legal threats that could have resulted in the actor's bankruptcy. But it's also consistent with a scenario where Bradford outright lied to the magazine, or with a scenario where the magazine just made shit up, neither party expecting that Cruise would launch such a huge attack. Or maybe either party expected such a threat, made claims for the sake of notoriety, got it, and backed down, without actually going to court.

Understand, I'm not trying to argue that Tom Cruise can't possibly be gay. I don't know and I don't care. I dislike him enough for the things he's said and done in public without having to buy into (or reject) any scenario where he could be portrayed as a hypocrite and a bully re his sexuality. I think his rerlationship with Katie Holmes is disturbing whether he's gay, straight or asexual. I'm just fairly skeptical about claims about anyone's private life.
posted by rosemere at 9:28 PM on July 11, 2006

How do I know he's gay? I can feel it in my heart. Too many weird things about his love life that don't make sense (Nicole Kidman, then Penelope Cruz, then Katie Holmes? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight). Plus, I believe everything (celebrity gossip related) I read on the internet (never fails me!), so when I hear stories about so and so's friend blowing Tom Cruise, I believe it. And like was said above, where there's smoke, there's fire.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:28 PM on July 11, 2006 [3 favorites]

Didn't the lawsuit kinda solidify the whole idea that he was covering something up?

Everyone I spoke to about it at the time did throw out the whole "protest too much" thing.

The beard issue is fed in part by his lack of biological children up until recently (well - has anyone seen the spawn he created with Katie? Did she actually give birth to anything?)

Then the whole "Interviewing for a new girlfriend" thing that leaked after his freakfest with Ms. Holmes began.

I don't know if he is gay, but yes, plenty of people believe he is and I doubt there is anything he could do to ever change people's minds.
posted by Julnyes at 9:30 PM on July 11, 2006

"The beard issue is fed in part by his lack of biological children up until recently"

Good point. That makes sense.
posted by vronsky at 9:45 PM on July 11, 2006

I'm another of those, I have a friend who's close friend had an on again off again relationship with Tom Cruise and was always annoyed that Cruise refused to admit his queerness. My friend has a real intense hate for Cruise for 'hurting his friend'.

Grains of salt everywhere, of course.
posted by nadawi at 9:47 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

(well - has anyone seen the spawn he created with Katie? Did she actually give birth to anything?)

Everyone has been wondering that this week, so- what a shock! Somehow, the baby's birth certificate gets leaked to the press (see it on TMZ.com, along with some commentary about how strange it is). It's all too planned, too perfect.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:48 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

"...his lack of biological children up until recently"

Well...if it is his DNA (which will never actually be answered), it could have easily happened in a test tube.

Or he could like to suck dick and screw girls.

I can't believe I have so much to say about the gayness of a tiny little actor.
posted by nadawi at 9:49 PM on July 11, 2006

ok, so besides the fact that this is chatfilter, i have to ask: why does this make any difference? we all kow tom cruise as the actor in various roles, as well as the bizarre monkey on oprah and the new age spiritaltiy abstract via ron hubbard. face it: the overall history of the dude renders his alleged omnisexuality into one aspect of his concept.
posted by lester at 10:05 PM on July 11, 2006

Tom Cruise's lack of biological children is not evidence that he is gay. Come on.

It's evidence that he has holoprosencephaly. Sheesh.
posted by Justinian at 10:15 PM on July 11, 2006

Tom Cruise = holoprosencephaly
posted by Justinian at 10:16 PM on July 11, 2006

(Yes, a third post) Sadly, the holoprosencephaly thing would also explain why we haven't seen Suri Cruise in public. I hope not, though.
posted by Justinian at 10:17 PM on July 11, 2006

ok, so besides the fact that this is chatfilter, i have to ask: why does this make any difference?

I don't think it's very interesting whether or not he's gay but it is interesting how intensely people care. I mean, the guy was married for 10 years to Nicole Kidman who, personally, I don't see putting up with an inattentive husband but I know people who insist that it was all a sham! He lied to her! She was duped! She was a beard! They have never met them but they are totally sure this is the case.

It all pales in comparison to the faked pregnancy and non-existant kid of course ;)
posted by fshgrl at 10:29 PM on July 11, 2006

I dunno about any gayness, but I did read an interview with Mimi Rogers earlier this year in which she ruefully complained about her constant sexual frustration while married to Cruise. Apparently, he told her that he needed to preserve the purity of his essence; I'm pretty sure that was the actual phrase she used.

But that could just as easily be religious fervour or general nuttiness as a fondness for cock. In other news, I can't believe I'm discussing this.
posted by hot soup girl at 10:59 PM on July 11, 2006

i thought it was just because he played a gay vampire in a movie once.

top gun? not nearly as gay as the running up and down the beach with rocky and apollo in rocky III.

i find gay far less disturbing than the COS.
posted by Tixylix at 11:02 PM on July 11, 2006

Yeah I am not disturbed by the gay at all, just really curious as to why this rumor seems to be so universal. Did I miss something or am I just naive? Personally I think it is probably untrue, but realize that leaves me in the minority. It isn't something I give a lot of thought to, but like the Richard Gere rumor, it just seems unfair and stupid to me, and speaks volumes imo about the people who continue to keep the rumor alive.

Cary Grant was dogged by homosexual rumors too, but he shared a bachelor pad with Douglas Fairbanks for a while and the two seemed inseperable, so I can understand how that rumor would start. Cruise, on the other hand has married/dated some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. I have always thought it betrays a certain homophobic personality type in those that believe or continue to spread it despite lack of any evidence except thirdhand gossip from highly questionable sources.
posted by vronsky at 11:45 PM on July 11, 2006

The Nicole Kidman thing was all about convenience for both of them.

You see, Nicole Kidman is a hermaphrodite.

This rumour I get from a friend of a friend who is a nurse and was hanging out with a bunch of surgeons who all 'knew' this fact.

But who knows, maybe it's like Jamie Lee Curtis.
posted by sien at 11:54 PM on July 11, 2006

I think a big part of it is that he flips out when people say he's gay. Why? If he wasn't really gay why would he care?

The actual answer (I think) is that scientology is extremely homophobic, and so being in that world probably distorts his perception of how gays are perceived in Hollywood these days.

But I think his defensiveness makes people think he has something to hide.
posted by delmoi at 12:07 AM on July 12, 2006

Why does everyone assume Tom Cruise is gay?

Not everyone does, not even the people who seem to assume it.

Such rumors start because minor characters profit by selling their (possibly fictional) stories about major stars.

And then others -- if they don't like the toothy little couch-bouncing Scientology freak and it turns out he's strongly denying (in court, seeking millions of dollars in damages, as if he'd been accused of a heinous crime) being gay -- might like to goad him and his legal team and his fans a little by saying, "Yeah, right. It sure looks like he's gay." It's not necessarily that people actually believe he's gay or care one way or another. Another celebrity with another attitude (and maybe not such a freaky-scary-stupid cult membership) would get different treatment. Cruise is just asking for a chuckle and a nudge.

Cary Grant was dogged by homosexual rumors too...

Dougie, Dougie, Dougie...
posted by pracowity at 12:24 AM on July 12, 2006

There's something unusual about him that demands an explanation in curious people's minds and "He's secretly gay" is more fun to believe than "Along with his bad childhood and long association with a mind-control cult, he has some mild congenital neurological abnormality".
posted by teleskiving at 4:16 AM on July 12, 2006

Why? If he wasn't really gay why would he care?

He makes lots and lots of money by selling himself as a (hetero) romantic lead and/or macho action dude in movies. If he doesn't vigourously fight the rumours that he is gay, this could (theoretically) lead to less work, or less women going to see his movies because they don't buy him as a romantic lead when he's gay, or less men going to see his macho movies because "teh gays can't be macho". Personally, I could care less what he is, I'll go see him if the movie looks alright (I quite enjoyed M:I3), but this is a theoretical reason as to why he would care. Also, free money for suing people that slander you.

What I find crazier, is how he sued the show that pretended to interview him on a red carpet and then squirted him in the face with a squirt-gun microphone.
posted by antifuse at 4:24 AM on July 12, 2006

"I do not think Cary Grant was a homosexual or bisexual. He just got carried away at those orgies."
--US congressman Bob Dornan
posted by biffa at 4:27 AM on July 12, 2006

Is "he sets my gaydar a-ringing" an appropriate response? He looks awkward with women, except when he's making an extreme demonstration of being around them. He's too polished, too well rehearsed at being the classic Hollywood hetero alpha male. It's an extremely well established rumour in Hollywood. And... well... he just sets my gaydar off. So does Winona Ryder. So does Jodie Foster. Sometimes it's about the little shifts in a person's behaviour.
posted by saturnine at 4:41 AM on July 12, 2006

His awkwardness with women extends to an intense lack of sexual chemistry in movies, which is what pings my gaydar. He's acted in sex scenes with some of the most beautiful women in the world, and all of them have left me 'meh'. He made Eyes Wide Shut the least sexy sexual thriller possible (then again, I think Nic was sexiest when she was on her mongoose, so maybe that's just me...).

I think if he's not gay, he's probably asexual. His lack of sexuality in films leads me to believe he has little experience on which to draw when acting.
posted by goo at 4:56 AM on July 12, 2006

I am skeptical about the machismo theory, because the vast majority of male celebrities since the boomers came of age have had a certain boyishness about them. Few are macho at all compared to their predecessors. (Like...Cary Grant...and...Rock Hudson...)

I think the fact that he's batshit actually contributes more to the confusion rather than the gay rumors. If he acted normal, he'd probably just set off normal old gaydar a la Clay Aiken or Rosie O'Donnell back in the day. The fact that he acts so nuts I think confuses things and outshines the gay thing. It's kind of like Michael Jackson. Some people just call him gay, but I think most people think "ehh....gay or straight, it's so much more than that."
posted by lampoil at 5:15 AM on July 12, 2006

My grandma, who's 100% uninterested in celebrity gossip, told me that she's heard Tom Cruise is gay, from my uncle, whose co-worker in New Jersey used to work in some low-level film industry position where she had some contact with Cruise.

So you can take that to the bank.
posted by ibmcginty at 5:19 AM on July 12, 2006

Is "he sets my gaydar a-ringing" an appropriate response?

Probably not, in the sense that no one has access to it except you -- and, of course, it's subjective.

But he sets my gaydar a-ringing, too. It's politically incorrect to talk about gaydars. I think we're supposed to pretend (or believe) that there are know physical/vocal traits that suggest someone is gay. (And it's definitely true that, even if there are such traits, they don't ALWAYS mean the person with them is gay -- and not ALL gay people have these traits.)

But I know that my gaydar is almost always right. I've always had tons of gay friends, and I knew most of them before and after they were out -- and I'd say my gaydar is 90% accurate. If you have this experience over and over again, at some point you start trusting it.

It's a weird thing, because you "know" someone is gay, but people without the gaydar don't know what you're talking about. When this happens, I can't explain how I know, because the traits are too subtle. SOMEHOW I pick up on them. I'm not sure how. I don't believe it's magic. It's just subtle body language and vocal inflections that I can recognize without being able to put my finger on them.

I regularly feel jarred out of movies and plays because I'm asked to believe that an obviously (to me) gay actor is into women. (Anyone remember that show "Caroline in the City?") And I see women marrying guys and can't help thinking, "She's got a BIG surprise in store for her!"

It always AMAZES me when other people can't see what I see. How can they NOT know so-and-so is gay? And, of course, it always confuses them that I'm so sure -- especially since I can't explain why.

A person's sexuality is his business, so please don't think I go around outing people on flimsy, subjective evidence. I don't. But I can't stop feeling what I feel. It's a powerful feeling, and (as I've said) I have a good track record for being right.

If Homosexuality is genetic, it makes sense that it would affect more things than one's sexual preference. Most genetic traits are tied to other traits.
posted by grumblebee at 5:40 AM on July 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

For what it's worth, my wife thinks he dresses like a gay man i.e. tight black shirts, etc.

What I find strange is how everyone considers all of his celebrity women beards. Why would these women who already have money, fame, etc. agree to be a part of this? And in Katie Holmes position, to actually have a baby with the guy? I just don't buy it. If he did need a beard, I would think he would go hire a non-celebrity who needed the money.
posted by gfrobe at 6:10 AM on July 12, 2006

For what it's worth, my wife thinks he dresses like a gay man i.e. tight black shirts, etc.

That's not worth much, really, in these times of metrosexuality.
posted by antifuse at 6:21 AM on July 12, 2006

I've always thought his vociferousness was suspicious too. I mean, you're married to Nicole Kidman, right, your movies open huge, you're on top of the world, and some two bit porn star tells some two bit, furrin online magazine that you're light in the loafers, and your response is a $100 million lawsuit?
Maybe I'm underestimating Middle America, or maybe I'm underestimating Hollywood's fear of Middle America, but really, that seems hysterically over the top. Wouldn't it have been far more macho to laugh it off?
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:32 AM on July 12, 2006

I've always assumed that he isn't gay, but instead has some kind of paraphilia that he really doesn't want people knowing about. I think that explains both the awkwardness with women and the freak-out giant lawsuits.

The claim of holoprosencephaly is pretty rock-solid too.
posted by jenovus at 6:33 AM on July 12, 2006

Hubajube: you may have something there about Church of Scientology blackmail. A friend of mine who works at a hotel told me a pretty hair-raising story about an encounter he had with J. Travolta in a steam room.
posted by hermitosis at 6:41 AM on July 12, 2006

Tom Cruise's lack of biological children is not evidence that he is gay. Come on.

It's evidence that he has holoprosencephaly. Sheesh.
posted by Justinian at 1:15 AM EST on July 12 [+fave] [!]

I didn't say it was evidence - no one has evidence. The question was why do people think Tom Cruise is gay - that is one of the reasons given.
posted by Julnyes at 6:46 AM on July 12, 2006

I know just about nothing about Scientology, but it seems like I heard that one of the selling points of this group is that they can "cure" homosexuality (just as they say they have great success at curing addiction).

If Cruise had a gay orientation and didn't want to be gay (for career or other reasons), then that might explain his close association with Scientology.

I realize that this is not proof in any sense of the word, but, like the "protests too much" argument, it's consistent with fanatically closeted homosexuality.
posted by La Cieca at 7:28 AM on July 12, 2006

The Secret Origin of the "Tom Cruise is Gay" Rumor

In the late 1980s, during the initial upswing of Tom's career, he had a number of lookalikes who hired themselves out to parties & occasionally to Tom himself as decoys. One of these, who looked so much like Tom that they were featured side-by-side in either Time or Newsweek (can't remember which, sorry) together, was also (by his own admission) quite promiscuously gay, frequently attending high-profile gay nightclubs in several large cities. And thus the rumors began. Eventually he gained weight & stopped working the impersonator market & found himself employed as a short-order cook at the Tasty in Harvard Square (so good they built Harvard around it!), an all-night greasy spoon diner that was also the inspiration for the diner in Good Will Hunting. Which is where I heard the story late one night over a very greasy but very tasty (hence the name) burger & fries. I wouldn't have believed him except he had the page from the magazine with him, complete with his name in the caption. I'm not sure but I think his name was Mike. I took his word on the whole promiscuously gay thing. The Tasty's gone now I think, lost in the rebuilding of Harvard Square.

So that's how the "Tom Cruise is gay" rumor got started.
posted by scalefree at 7:28 AM on July 12, 2006

My two cents worth of scuttlebutt...

Years back, I had a roommate whose best friend was from the Cayman Islands. This friend knew people who'd rented Tom and Nicole a condo while he were there filming The Firm. And, according to the story, they fought constantly because Tom was gay and had only married Nicole in order to have children.

This was the first time that I had cause to ponder Tom's sexuality and... well, the rumor sounded about as plausible as any other tabloid rumor I've heard.

Oh yeah; According to a much more direct and reliable source, Leonardo DiCaprio is bi. Please, don't anyone pass out from shock.
posted by Clay201 at 7:36 AM on July 12, 2006

Ummm... his last name is Cruise... Joking aside, (and I know that that hardly counts as a joke), I agree 100% with everything that grumblebee said.
posted by ob at 7:40 AM on July 12, 2006

Tom Cruise is gay whether he knows it yet or not. Sometimes it takes years before he admits it to himself and to the world. It is the same theory my wife has about her cousin who is married with two kids who she insists is gay waiting for his domineering father to pass on so he can come out with it. Mrs. Gunn insists they are both gay. Mrs. Gunn is not always right, but she has never been wrong.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:45 AM on July 12, 2006

Well, there is this.

But more seriously, maybe this has something to do with the heterosexual majority's imperfect understanding of gay sexuality. Because gay sexual activity seems to them so bizarre (i.e., unappetizing), they tend to reason that any offbeat or unfamiliar sex-related behavior must be "gay."

Cruise is a very odd duck, but I think sexual orientation per se is not what makes him so weird.
posted by La Cieca at 7:51 AM on July 12, 2006

Fuck, why did you have to mention the Tasty.... *cry*
posted by bobot at 7:51 AM on July 12, 2006

Enlighten me please. I have figured out the meaning of "beard" from the context used above, but what is it's origin?
posted by poppo at 8:08 AM on July 12, 2006

I doubt he's more insane than most people but he is very religious. Most highly religious people i've met give off the same vibe. They don't act very normal with the opposite sex, seem disinterested in blatant hedonism, may come off as sensitive or effeminate, etc.

If the above guy was a pious Christian type no one would care. Make the above guy a famous actor and the busybodies will beging to 'dish.'
posted by skallas at 8:15 AM on July 12, 2006

Re beards: I just tried googling and failed, but I always assumed the thinking was that a beard is a sign of machoness and if you are a smoothskinned fey boy you need one to look manly. Or something.

Meanwhile, I couldn't give a toss about Tom, but the *Tasty* is gone???
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:17 AM on July 12, 2006

Well, I'm gay, and I get weird gaydar pulses from Tom...of course, I get those from Kenny Chesney, too. (Sorry, Renee.)

The whole COS thing does muddy the issue. I know that there have been long standing rumours about Travolta. It makes me think that the COS is a safe haven for queer stars who don't want to come out for career reasons. The whole world of COS seems to be designed to shelter its famous members from real life.

I am also a huge believer in the idea that if there is smoke, there will eventually be fire.

As to why I want to think of him as gay, it boils down to two reasons - one altruistic, and one selfish.

Altruistic: Famous people who come out help de-mystify the "gay issue". look at rock Hudson and the affect he had on making AIDS an okay topic for discussion. (This is an extreme example.) If a known hetero, macho icon like Tom were to come out, it might help people who are homophobic become less so - you don't hate what you know...

Selfish: He's hot.
posted by Futurehouse at 8:20 AM on July 12, 2006

Meanwhile, I couldn't give a toss about Tom, but the *Tasty* is gone???

I left Boston before it all went down, but they renovated the Square in the late 90s & I'm pretty sure the Tasty got left out. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
posted by scalefree at 8:24 AM on July 12, 2006

Beard (female companion)
posted by baylink at 8:36 AM on July 12, 2006

Tasty is gone, see here.
posted by jeremias at 8:43 AM on July 12, 2006

If the above guy was a pious Christian type no one would care. Make the above guy a famous actor and the busybodies will beging to 'dish.'

...and if he was famous and a pious Christian, then dishing would also ensue, just as with the televangelist scandals.

FWIW, Tom's always set off my gaydar, too.
posted by Robert Angelo at 8:52 AM on July 12, 2006

For me it's what fshgirl said:
If you know anyone in LA they will have a story about their friend who is gay and works in the industry and once had a roomate who supposedly hooked up with Tom Cruise or knows someone who did. Anyone. My Mom has a friend like that. The entertainment media headquarters in LA and so I think that probably has a lot to do with it.

I had a screenwriter tell me with absolute certainty that Tom Cruise was gay. And someone whose (gay) brother worked in Hollywood. Without comparably authoritative sources saying he's not gay, I believe it.

But what's this with "gay?" No one is saying "I heard Tom Cruise slept with a woman! Do you think he's straight??" Should we be saying "bisexual" here? Or does he really try to never sleep with these wives?
posted by salvia at 9:28 AM on July 12, 2006

..."And in Katie Holmes position, to actually have a baby with the guy?"

Well, she did use to have a poster of him in her room and would stare at it during the 11-12 year old time of her life. I imagine for a lot of women if the guy that you hinged learning about your fuzzy feeling on came around 8 years later and wanted you to have his child...well...

Celebrities are weird.
posted by nadawi at 9:50 AM on July 12, 2006

Hermatosis, you have just *GOT* to share the John Travolta in the steam room story. Please? Or maybe just e-mail it to me?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:52 AM on July 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

Hermatosis, you have just *GOT* to share the John Travolta in the steam room story. Please? Or maybe just e-mail it to me?

I want to know, too!
posted by necessitas at 10:02 AM on July 12, 2006

VCR alert.

As a public service, I would like to announce that Comedy Central is re-airing the "South Park" episode “Trapped in the Closet" on July 19. If you missed it the first time, don't make the same mistake again. (The Scientology stuff was actually more outrageous than the Tom-is-gay stuff.)
posted by CunningLinguist at 10:13 AM on July 12, 2006

Cary Grant was dogged by homosexual rumors too, but he shared a bachelor pad with Douglas Fairbanks for a while and the two seemed inseperable...

Not Fairbanks. It was Randolph Scott, and it was like a decade or something.



Also, the serial marrying plus ad-libbing "I just went gay all of a sudden" (not in the "Bringing Up Baby" script) didn't exactly help.
posted by nakedcodemonkey at 10:14 AM on July 12, 2006

Another "friend of a friend" rumor...when Tom was schmoozing it up in Cannes, he rented two floors - top floor for himself, floor just below for his boyfriend.
posted by Liosliath at 10:24 AM on July 12, 2006

And in Katie Holmes position, to actually have a baby with the guy? I just don't buy it.

Well, there is a rumor that it's actually Chris Klein's baby. The theory is that she learned she was knocked up after they broke up and was embarassed and vulnerable and Tom's camp came in and said "We'll give you $X million to say it's Tom's!" That, supposedly, is why we haven't seen Suri yet. She's older than they've told us, so they have to wait a little so that the age difference isn't as recognizable.
posted by jrossi4r at 10:46 AM on July 12, 2006

Thanks nakedcodemonkey - I thought I might be misremembering that part.

Re the "I just went gay all of a sudden" remark while wearing a nighty. I remember that too, but thought that it was before "gay" meant queer in common usage.

Grant was litigious too when it came to these rumors. He once sued Chevy Chase for calling him a "homo".

I'm straight, but Grant could definitely turn me... damn he was a gorgeous man!

And thanks scalefree - if true that would definitely explain it.
posted by vronsky at 10:47 AM on July 12, 2006

>We'll give you $X million to say it's Tom's

Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Why a multimillionare needs a few more million is beyond me, especially in the peak of her career. Oh, that conspiracy also relies on another conspiracy with Nicole Kidman for a decade.

This thread, despite itself, does show you how rumors start are maintained and believed.
posted by skallas at 11:00 AM on July 12, 2006

And check out Grant's package in that photo. Is he smuggling a zucchini wrapped in tinfoil or something? Whoa!
posted by vronsky at 11:02 AM on July 12, 2006

Skallas— So... She'd turn down the money? Plus, the peak of her career was getting married to Tom Cruise. Aside from that, she'd be that chick from Dawson's.
posted by klangklangston at 11:04 AM on July 12, 2006

Lets see Batman Begins made well over 200 millions dollars the summer it was out. I dont think she's hurting for cash.

Its funny how people take celebrities and apply everyday explanations to behavior they dont understand. Like "shes in it for the money." "He's secretly gay" etc. Its very eye-opening on how meda culture consumers think.
posted by skallas at 11:24 AM on July 12, 2006

Celebrities need their privacy as much as anyone else. Case in point:
Ernest and Bertram, which tells the sad and ultimately violent tale of the doomed relationship between two closeted Muppets.
posted by ColdChef at 11:43 AM on July 12, 2006

She's older than they've told us

Right- she had the baby earlier than they made it seem- she wore padding and other stuff near the "end of her pregnancy", when she had really already had the baby. Couldn't announce the real date, because it would be clear she got pregnant right when they started "dating".

I totally love this thread. Love love love it.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:49 AM on July 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

Should we be saying "bisexual" here? Or does he really try to never sleep with these wives?

I've heard that he doesn't- in addition to being gay, Tom Cruise is also a Scientologist, and has very weird ideas about what it means to be pure, holy, etc, that involve cellibacy and/or cellibate periods.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:51 AM on July 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

My boss's daughter works in Hollywood and he was telling me all about it last year. I don't remember exactly but I believe the gist is that there are gay parties where people find hookups and he goes and participates. I'm sure there is a better way of putting it, but whatever.

As for Katie, despite the level of control she's under, this is a great deal for her. Sure, she was known, but she was NOTHING compared to what she is now. She was never on the cover of any of those celebrity weeklies, and now she's a regular. She gets a few million to pretend to be married, make him look straight, get a HUGE boost in popularity and then be done in five years.

The fact that everyone has called that relationship a sham from the beginning (even the NYT got in on it I believe) leads me to agree with the smoke-fire theories. Right around the time she announced she was pregnant, I read somewhere that it was really some guy she met on a press junket in Europe (either before Tom or right around the same time they started) and they were just going to pass it off as his. Now, it kind of clicks with what JRossi4R said, though perhaps they happened simultaneously, not that Tom's camp came in to save the day or anything. Like the Tom machine was already in action and then she discovered she was pregnant. There's a pic of them at Oprah's thing in mid-May where she looks to have a small tummy even though the pregnancy wasn't announced until early October (which on preview, meshes with the pinksuperhero said). Anyway, now I sound loony, so I'm going to stop.
posted by ml98tu at 11:56 AM on July 12, 2006

skallas, I sincerely doubt Katie Holmes got any significant points on the backend of Batman Begins. She isn't in the Forbes 100 for 2006. Tom, on the other hand, is number one.
posted by nomisxid at 12:20 PM on July 12, 2006

i heard the following rumor about her pregnancy:

Tom's lover is the head of Scientology. Cruise didn't want to have children because he is afraid of passing on the holoprosencephaly, so the baby is actually his lovers.

sidenote - i hope we don't all get sued.
posted by jessica at 12:36 PM on July 12, 2006

And thanks scalefree - if true that would definitely explain it.

All I can say for sure is I saw the photo & caption cut out from the magazine & it was me who brought up the subject in the first place, not him. It's not as excitingly scandalous as some of the other stories but (to me at least) it seems a lot more plausible & likely in the real world.
posted by scalefree at 12:38 PM on July 12, 2006

jessica: the head of Scientology is David Miscavidge, a man even shorter than Tom.
posted by scalefree at 12:45 PM on July 12, 2006

eep! that is a tiny man!
posted by nadawi at 1:25 PM on July 12, 2006

You see, Nicole Kidman is a hermaphrodite.

This rumour I get from a friend of a friend who is a nurse and was hanging out with a bunch of surgeons who all 'knew' this fact.

They did a great job taping back/down/whatever her penis for the full-frontal scene in Billy Bathgate then.
posted by phearlez at 4:28 PM on July 12, 2006 [1 favorite]

How do I know he's gay? I can feel it in my heart. Too many weird things about his love life that don't make sense
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:28 PM PST on July 11
I agree. There's just something off about him that tells me he's not heterosexual.

This is my own personal conspiracy theory:

Nicole Kidman was with Tom Cruise solely for career purposes, i.e. to increase her level of recognition amongst movie-goers and industry bigwigs.

My theory: their pre-nup contained a clause, where it says that if they ever break up, Tom Cruise has to produce 1 film starring Kidman.

They broke up in February 2001.

"The Others" comes out in August 2001. Executive producer? Tom Cruise.

Okay, going back to reading my Us weekly.....
posted by invisible ink at 9:19 PM on July 12, 2006

Suri Conspiracy Timeline
posted by ColdChef at 2:31 AM on July 14, 2006

Okay, for those that asked for my John Travolta story, here it is, even though I will probably get my knees broken.

One of my exes used to work at a hotel at Palm Springs, and because of this he was allowed to use the steam room whenever he wanted during off-hours. One night when he was in there he found himself alone with none other than John Travolta, who was apparently a guest in the hotel. This would have been in the early- or mid-nineties. Before he could decide whether to acknowledge or talk to him, Mr. T. undid his towel and started stroking it while making direct eye contact, a clear invitation to fool around. My ex simply excused himself immediately from the steam room and did not see John again during his stay.

Anyhow, he swore by it-- though of course who can say for sure whether he was telling the truth? The story is just tame enough to be believable.
posted by hermitosis at 5:46 AM on July 16, 2006

Beautiful story.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:26 PM on July 17, 2006 [1 favorite]

> Mr. T. undid his towel and started stroking it

Wait! What was Mr. T doing there???
posted by TonyRobots at 11:52 AM on September 6, 2006 [1 favorite]