Loosing pet, looking for support options for grief and relational aspect

December 18, 2024 8:18 PM

We’re likely losing our dog to a tumor, and I’m having a hard time dealing with both the grief and the relational aspects. Looking for support options…

My partner and I deal with it differently, and she needs me to find support outside before she can relate to my grief or corporate on the practical and medical aspects.

I’m looking for call lines, support groups, phone meetings and so far it has been very limited. The pet loss lines are only focused on loss of pet, and though helpful there aren’t many actually active.

Does anybody have good ideas or experiences?

posted by LngGrnd to Pets & Animals (4 answers total)

I'm very sorry to hear that your dog is ill and for your grief. I assume your partner is also feeling grief and that's why she can't cope with all this stuff, but it's still a lot to put on you to have to therefore figure it all out yourself. Is there someone else who can come and help you do it?

I lost a dog unexpectedly at home. She was old and had arthritis and had definitely slowed down a lot, but until the morning of I didn't know she was dying. I texted a couple of friends that she was dying when that became very obvious and then an hour or so later when she died and they came over to be with me and one handled all the practical aspects of figuring out all the different options post-death and how much they would cost and that sort of thing. She made all the phone calls and then presented me with the options and when I chose she made all the arrangements and they stayed with me until the pet mortuary came to collect the body. I don't know what I would have done without them.

But they were not losing a pet at the same time I was, like your partner is. Is there someone else who can come in and help with all that practical stuff? A friend a family member who is not actually direct family to the dog? This is obviously a longer-timeline than my situation was, but hopefully there is someone you know, even if not a pet-death professional of some sort, who can support you and your partner in getting through the practical aspects so you can focus on being there for your dog in their last days and dealing with your grief.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 10:53 PM on December 18

Hey, I'm so sorry about your dog. Losing a pet is heartbreaking. Here are a few things that helped me when I lost my dog:

Look for pet loss support groups and talk to others who understand; this can be really comforting. Consider finding a therapist who specializes in pet loss; they can help you work through both the grief and the relational stuff.

Take your time with this. Grieving is a personal process, and it’s okay to feel the way you do.
posted by caro1989 at 6:24 AM on December 19

Have you worked through all of these options to see if any are suitable?

(I'm very sorry about your dog.)
posted by praemunire at 7:26 AM on December 19

I’m so sorry about your dog. As my 16-year old dog has slowed down and developed mobility issues, I have gone through bouts of anticipatory grief for her future loss. I found some comfort in the book Good Grief: On Loving Pets, Here and Hereafter.
posted by bluloo at 7:42 AM on December 19