How to not lose my mind setting up Apple's Screen Time for kids.
December 15, 2024 8:08 PM
I used to consider myself very technically literate but trying to set up Screen Time on my kid's Apple devices is making me question the very nature of my sanity. I simply want to limit the time they can use their devices and for how long, but also have the option to extend time when needed which somehow seems to break everything. Can someone help me start from scratch or figure out what I am doing wrong?
A bit of background - Each kid has an Apple ID and access to four devices. A shared Family iMac, a shared Family Mac Mini (Both with their own accounts), their own iPad, and their own Apple Watch SE.
Screen Time is set up so it's shared across all devices. All I want is simple - for there to be a two hour daily limit on overall use, and to only be able to use the devices between 8am and 8pm. I've set this up many times using a combination of Downtime and App Limits. That said, if I want to extend it for some reason, like on a weekend, ad hoc, whenever I tweak the settings it just seems to go haywire and have everything blocked at times when it shouldn't be, and then I start just futzing with settings (turn on downtime until schedule? ignore schedule? block at downtime?) and it just makes things worse and we just end up with no controls and then things go off the rails.
No idea why this is such a complex experience but if there is a good guide out there or any tips and tricks on certain settings that I might be missing to achieve the outcome above, I'd love to know!
A bit of background - Each kid has an Apple ID and access to four devices. A shared Family iMac, a shared Family Mac Mini (Both with their own accounts), their own iPad, and their own Apple Watch SE.
Screen Time is set up so it's shared across all devices. All I want is simple - for there to be a two hour daily limit on overall use, and to only be able to use the devices between 8am and 8pm. I've set this up many times using a combination of Downtime and App Limits. That said, if I want to extend it for some reason, like on a weekend, ad hoc, whenever I tweak the settings it just seems to go haywire and have everything blocked at times when it shouldn't be, and then I start just futzing with settings (turn on downtime until schedule? ignore schedule? block at downtime?) and it just makes things worse and we just end up with no controls and then things go off the rails.
No idea why this is such a complex experience but if there is a good guide out there or any tips and tricks on certain settings that I might be missing to achieve the outcome above, I'd love to know!
Just to respond briefly - the ask for more time works for the app limits, but making a quick change for downtime doesn't seem to be that simple. I.e, say it's a public holiday or we're taking a road trip and we want to let them use it earlier or later than the overall schedule, you have to go in and update the setting there, and that's where we get into trouble on that particular setting.
posted by LongDrive at 8:17 PM on December 15
posted by LongDrive at 8:17 PM on December 15
I share your suffering.
Unfortunately, Apple's screen time does not allow you to say, "let them use the computer for two hours". It lets you say, "let them use the computer between 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM." If time runs out and you want to give them another half hour, you can't say, "give them another half hour." Instead, you have to go in and change the setting to run from 7:00 PM to 8:30 PM." Of course, when they are done, you then have to remember to change the setting back. Otherwise they will get that extra half hour subsequent days as well.
When I first started using screen time and figured this out, I was gobsmacked. The system I ended up using was to have down set to be on all day, from 8:00 AM to 7:59 AM. Then when I wanted to give my daughter an some time on the device, say from 4:30 to 5:30 in the afternoon, I would change the setting to be from 5:30 PM to 7:59 AM. I'd do that at 4:30, and she'd have her hour. I could extend it if I wanted. And every night before I went to bed, I just had to remember to set it back to 8:00 AM.
It worked, but required constant management and intervention on my part, and often the settings ended up in a wrong state.
I don't know how this would work with two children and four devices shared between them.
The system that Apple has put in place is designed to let you set up a regular schedule for screen usage. It is not designed to let you give people a certain quantity of screen time per day. I don't know why they chose that. Maybe it was easier to implement, or maybe none of them had children. I hope you're able to find something that works well for you and your family.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 8:31 PM on December 15
Unfortunately, Apple's screen time does not allow you to say, "let them use the computer for two hours". It lets you say, "let them use the computer between 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM." If time runs out and you want to give them another half hour, you can't say, "give them another half hour." Instead, you have to go in and change the setting to run from 7:00 PM to 8:30 PM." Of course, when they are done, you then have to remember to change the setting back. Otherwise they will get that extra half hour subsequent days as well.
When I first started using screen time and figured this out, I was gobsmacked. The system I ended up using was to have down set to be on all day, from 8:00 AM to 7:59 AM. Then when I wanted to give my daughter an some time on the device, say from 4:30 to 5:30 in the afternoon, I would change the setting to be from 5:30 PM to 7:59 AM. I'd do that at 4:30, and she'd have her hour. I could extend it if I wanted. And every night before I went to bed, I just had to remember to set it back to 8:00 AM.
It worked, but required constant management and intervention on my part, and often the settings ended up in a wrong state.
I don't know how this would work with two children and four devices shared between them.
The system that Apple has put in place is designed to let you set up a regular schedule for screen usage. It is not designed to let you give people a certain quantity of screen time per day. I don't know why they chose that. Maybe it was easier to implement, or maybe none of them had children. I hope you're able to find something that works well for you and your family.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 8:31 PM on December 15
Thanks for this @Winnie - Apologies to threadsit here but I just want to add more context as this is a technical issue... I think this is getting to the crux of my confusion. As far as I can tell, Screen Time has two distinct features - App Limits and Downtime. I would have assumed if that App Limits were on for all apps, with a limit of two hours per day, that should work in tandem with Downtime?
posted by LongDrive at 8:38 PM on December 15
posted by LongDrive at 8:38 PM on December 15
First of all, this definitely isn’t anything you’re doing wrong. It’s a horrendously designed set of features that would be bad enough if it consistently worked as intended, but it’s also buggy and sometimes just glitches or flips itself on or off for no perceptible reason.
I think you’re right to consider Downtime and App Limits as orthogonal/distinct featurss, with App Limits superseding Downtime. We’ve found that the only sane way to manage things is to set up a Downtime schedule for the week and never touch it thereafter (or dispense with it entirely and just physically take away the devices at night, which may or may not be feasible in your case); and to add a 1 minute limit on all “desirable” apps and use “Ask for more time” to manage the actual granting of time. Of course that feature in itself is poorly and inflexibly implemented, but better than nothing.
posted by staggernation at 6:01 AM on December 16
I think you’re right to consider Downtime and App Limits as orthogonal/distinct featurss, with App Limits superseding Downtime. We’ve found that the only sane way to manage things is to set up a Downtime schedule for the week and never touch it thereafter (or dispense with it entirely and just physically take away the devices at night, which may or may not be feasible in your case); and to add a 1 minute limit on all “desirable” apps and use “Ask for more time” to manage the actual granting of time. Of course that feature in itself is poorly and inflexibly implemented, but better than nothing.
posted by staggernation at 6:01 AM on December 16
It’s not just you. Also, I would emphasize not thinking of this as a “one and done” sort of setting. Check their usage, the things they are doing, and talk with them about it if you have concerns or need to change things.
posted by nickggully at 6:26 AM on December 16
posted by nickggully at 6:26 AM on December 16
I would have assumed if that App Limits were on for all apps, with a limit of two hours per day, that should work in tandem with Downtime?
I don't remember trying this particular approach. In the past, though, I do remember that when I've tried to use two different screen time control features in tandem it often fails in unexpected ways. So try things, but don't assume in advance they will behave you as expected.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 7:14 AM on December 16
I don't remember trying this particular approach. In the past, though, I do remember that when I've tried to use two different screen time control features in tandem it often fails in unexpected ways. So try things, but don't assume in advance they will behave you as expected.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 7:14 AM on December 16
Mobile parental controls are very bad on both major mobile platforms. It isn't just you and if anything Android is worse.
posted by potrzebie at 7:22 AM on December 16
posted by potrzebie at 7:22 AM on December 16
I've had the same frustrations with Screen Time over the years. Maybe a few things to check here:
1) Make sure "Block at End of Limit" is turned on for each app limit.
2) Put a passcode on the whole thing. This is different than your phone unlock passcode. Do NOT tell it to the kid. If there is no passcode and/or they know it, they can authorize their own time extensions.
3) Turn on "Content and Privacy Restrictions" and don't allow Passcode and Account changes. Kids teach each other ways around the blocks by signing out and back in.
4) Make sure all devices are on the latest iOS. Log everyone out of AppleID and back in.
This isn't a guarantee that anything will be better afterward, but it might help. There are some apps like TikTok where the authors seem to have found ways around the time blocks. I have my kid's phone set at a very small amount of time and they still manage to log time way past the limit.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:35 AM on December 16
1) Make sure "Block at End of Limit" is turned on for each app limit.
2) Put a passcode on the whole thing. This is different than your phone unlock passcode. Do NOT tell it to the kid. If there is no passcode and/or they know it, they can authorize their own time extensions.
3) Turn on "Content and Privacy Restrictions" and don't allow Passcode and Account changes. Kids teach each other ways around the blocks by signing out and back in.
4) Make sure all devices are on the latest iOS. Log everyone out of AppleID and back in.
This isn't a guarantee that anything will be better afterward, but it might help. There are some apps like TikTok where the authors seem to have found ways around the time blocks. I have my kid's phone set at a very small amount of time and they still manage to log time way past the limit.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:35 AM on December 16
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posted by inkyz at 8:14 PM on December 15