How can I become hopeful about the future?
February 16, 2024 5:11 AM Subscribe
My main interface with the world is news media and Mastodon. The narratives presented there are dire. Inevitable climate disaster. Global authoritarianism. Societal breakdown. How can I convince myself there are 80% odds the rest of my life will be bearable?
I have been working remotely and caring for a disabled family member for over a decade, so I don't get out much. I see friends in person a couple times a month, but most of what I know about the world, I know through the Internet, and that does not paint a pretty picture.
I truly believe that the US education system is falling apart, that my partner and I are going to die destitute, that if I get assaulted on the street there is no one to help me (as examples). I'm not suicidal (I want more time on this earth, not less), but I am truly expecting to be poor, miserable, and afraid for the rest of my life.
How can I become hopeful about the future? How can I come to believe that, 20 years from now, most of the developed world will probably still be a democracy, that late capitalism won't make slaves of us all, that we'll save the climate while the planet is still livable?
The most helpful answers will be from people with relevant backgrounds such as public policy or economics (or mental health). If you are bringing such experience to bear, I hope you can indicate this in your answer! I am seeing a therapist weekly. I am atheist.
I have been working remotely and caring for a disabled family member for over a decade, so I don't get out much. I see friends in person a couple times a month, but most of what I know about the world, I know through the Internet, and that does not paint a pretty picture.
I truly believe that the US education system is falling apart, that my partner and I are going to die destitute, that if I get assaulted on the street there is no one to help me (as examples). I'm not suicidal (I want more time on this earth, not less), but I am truly expecting to be poor, miserable, and afraid for the rest of my life.
How can I become hopeful about the future? How can I come to believe that, 20 years from now, most of the developed world will probably still be a democracy, that late capitalism won't make slaves of us all, that we'll save the climate while the planet is still livable?
The most helpful answers will be from people with relevant backgrounds such as public policy or economics (or mental health). If you are bringing such experience to bear, I hope you can indicate this in your answer! I am seeing a therapist weekly. I am atheist.
Both blindingly obvious and easier said than done, but:
Stop using social media. And limit your intake of news - at least until you’re on a more even keel psychologically. For me, focusing on local news was helpful.
Although these things may help you feel more “informed”, your use of them does not actually positively affect the issues that worry you in any way. But it does elevate their prominence in your mind and increase your (totally understandable) anxiety.
Getting off social media was the best thing I ever did for my mental health (and I’ve been fairly mental at times). Look for substitute activities to fill the time you spend idly scrolling. For me, a Kindle was very helpful.
posted by Ted Maul at 5:38 AM on February 16 [29 favorites]
Stop using social media. And limit your intake of news - at least until you’re on a more even keel psychologically. For me, focusing on local news was helpful.
Although these things may help you feel more “informed”, your use of them does not actually positively affect the issues that worry you in any way. But it does elevate their prominence in your mind and increase your (totally understandable) anxiety.
Getting off social media was the best thing I ever did for my mental health (and I’ve been fairly mental at times). Look for substitute activities to fill the time you spend idly scrolling. For me, a Kindle was very helpful.
posted by Ted Maul at 5:38 AM on February 16 [29 favorites]
My expertise is in mental health. One thing that really helps with this is building relationships that give you a sense of agency. Yesterday I took a group of future mental health clinicians to meet with staffers at our member of congress's local office to talk about how the congressperson could help with the issues that threaten their futures. They talked for half an hour, the staffers took copious notes and asked questions and gave suggestions, and we took a picture. A small thing, but everyone felt better and more hopeful. Anyone can do this, you just call or email and ask for a meeting. (The congressperson might be too busy to meet with you, but meeting with constituents is literally these staffers' job.) Try doing some advocacy, try meeting with your representatives in what's left of this democracy and getting to know them and making your fears their responsibility.
posted by shadygrove at 5:52 AM on February 16 [13 favorites]
posted by shadygrove at 5:52 AM on February 16 [13 favorites]
About six months ago I began working in a job related to environmental activism, corporate change, and climate change. Before I started I was worried that the job would be depressing. All of a sudden, I would have to read past the dire headlines. My brain would be even more filled with all the bad news.
What actually happened is the opposite. I have become much more optimistic. I see the progress being made in so many areas, and I see people in positions of responsibility whose job it is to improve matters. I see a broad understanding of the challenges we face, and the importance of facing them. This isn't to say that it is easy, or that everything immediately gets done. But there are more and more people working on it. That's the environment I'm in, and it's very helpful.
How to translate that into a suggestion? Perhaps find work or a volunteer position where you can do something that improves the lives of others, or improves the world in some ways. Or perhaps, as Mr. Rogers said, "Look for the helpers."
posted by Winnie the Proust at 6:07 AM on February 16 [31 favorites]
What actually happened is the opposite. I have become much more optimistic. I see the progress being made in so many areas, and I see people in positions of responsibility whose job it is to improve matters. I see a broad understanding of the challenges we face, and the importance of facing them. This isn't to say that it is easy, or that everything immediately gets done. But there are more and more people working on it. That's the environment I'm in, and it's very helpful.
How to translate that into a suggestion? Perhaps find work or a volunteer position where you can do something that improves the lives of others, or improves the world in some ways. Or perhaps, as Mr. Rogers said, "Look for the helpers."
posted by Winnie the Proust at 6:07 AM on February 16 [31 favorites]
I too am caretaking for a relative for 20 years...am retired and 77 years old. Caretaking is difficult, so there's that to begin with. I do get news from the Internet and I know what you mean. Stopped watching it on television though. Talking heads the same night after night. Thankfully I have other interests to keep me occupied. Gardening, sketching,playing with my pets, and reading. Could you find some local interests that you might be curious about, even helpful to the people involved. I also donate a small amount of money to several organizations I think are doing good work in the world. Take care of yourself, find some relaxing pastimes, connect with other helpers if possible.
posted by Czjewel at 6:23 AM on February 16 [4 favorites]
posted by Czjewel at 6:23 AM on February 16 [4 favorites]
My qualification ( mods can delete w no hard feels if not enough) is simply that I suffer from the same tendencies, and to preserve mental health I quit xitter years ago and limit my intake. I have found great comfort in the form of regular good news, from Matt Farrell’s show, and Just Have a Think, and all the stuff from Fully Charged. It reminds me that there are legions of people making progress on commercially and policy-ready real things we can have right now, and that these Nice Things are in fact being adopted by persons and governments. The other topics I keep at bay by practically forcing myself to spend time with other people. I always enjoy that but it takes some momentum each time. It is worth it!
posted by drowsy at 6:25 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
posted by drowsy at 6:25 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
I have spent many hours having similar feelings, especially leading up to and having children. I thought, why am I doing this? Why would I bring kids into all of this shit? I found it extremely helpful to spend time consuming media about what all of the really brilliant people are doing right now to work on these problems. Not pie in the sky stuff like fusion, but actual real developments or developing things. This sounds like a similar, less directly involved version, of what Winne the Proust experienced above.
The nerd in me has really enjoyed the Volts podcast. It can get pretty technical at times so maybe it's not for you. I'm sure there are other "what are people doing now for the climate" type podcasts out there that you might find useful. Canary Media is another excellent resource for cool things happening now about the climate that aren't all doom and gloom.
From a mental health angle, having a simple meditation practice has genuinely changed my life. I feel like meditation is a thing you have to arrive at your own and it is difficult to impossible to talk someone into starting a practice. If you're interested in deeper conversation about finding and starting a practice, feel free to memail me. My own route in involved massive worries about the future. Keeping a regular practice relieves much of my anxiety about the future.
posted by sewellcm at 6:28 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
The nerd in me has really enjoyed the Volts podcast. It can get pretty technical at times so maybe it's not for you. I'm sure there are other "what are people doing now for the climate" type podcasts out there that you might find useful. Canary Media is another excellent resource for cool things happening now about the climate that aren't all doom and gloom.
From a mental health angle, having a simple meditation practice has genuinely changed my life. I feel like meditation is a thing you have to arrive at your own and it is difficult to impossible to talk someone into starting a practice. If you're interested in deeper conversation about finding and starting a practice, feel free to memail me. My own route in involved massive worries about the future. Keeping a regular practice relieves much of my anxiety about the future.
posted by sewellcm at 6:28 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
Please get your vitamin D levels checked and/or start taking vitamin D supplements. For me, it makes an enormous difference in my mood. Without it, I find myself continuously battling enormous feelings of doom. With it, I feel pretty good about my future.
posted by MexicanYenta at 6:31 AM on February 16 [1 favorite]
posted by MexicanYenta at 6:31 AM on February 16 [1 favorite]
democracy
As an historian in training, I studied tyranny among Greeks in the Archaic period (so, pre-Classical). A popular argument throughout the modern study of tyranny has been that the popularity of tyrants was heavily influenced by the chaos that people in the "Dark Age" were suffering--military, economic, etc., etc. The rise of tyrants presented problems, but they solved others. And eventually tyranny passed away, supplanted by other forms of government--including democracy.
All of that is to say that forms of government evolve, disappear, reappear. In contemporary U.S. history, the level of enfranchisement and freedom has varied substantially over time. These changes have occurred for many reasons, sometimes due to tensions and problems woven into the fabric of the country from the era of colonization, others due to external pressures that were not foreseeable in the specific, even if general patterns recur.
All of that is to say, gloom and doom sells, but nothing lasts forever--and that includes terrible things.
news media and Mastodon
From my personal experience, I have found reading novels and book-length nonfiction to provide a sense of continuity and stability that is more conducive to my mental health than scrolling. Sound bites always bend toward exaggeration and chaos, and only the most shallow of books can retain that affect.
I will also offer -- MetaFilter is, in my experience, the worst place I frequent when it comes to predictions of doom. I value the site for many reasons, but the plain text, lack of threading, etc., etc., means everything is flattened, and you can go from a beautiful comment about kittens or whatever to the very next thing you read being a comment (maybe someone blowing off steam, maybe someone feeling they are Sharing Important Information, maybe people committed to a bit) that is absolutely, soul-crushingly grim. I find it unhelpful, and frequently I try to avoid posts here on the topics you mention.
destitute
I cannot speak to your situation, but, again, MetaFilter seems to me often to have a strong bias against the idea that one can do anything to avoid this. (Many people are trapped or in bad situations, 100%, and I am not trying to minimize that fact, but I also know many people who are well off in the U.S., let alone globally and historically, who are under the mistaken impression that they are in danger of starvation because they... can't have luxury goods. And many of them vent their anxiety without disclosing their actual status.) The blue can be a terrible place to read about this -- suggestions that anything other than full communism will lead to anything other than suffering and destitution are regularly roundly mocked, and people who offer contrary thoughts are pilloried. The green is better than the blue about the issue -- perhaps look for past Asks about money and finance, if you think you are ready to read about that. It may be that other sites (r/personalfinance or whatever) are better for this topic.
I know the stresses that caregiving can bring, so perhaps (I do mean "perhaps") this would be a good time to acquaint yourself with what's available in your area in terms of a safety net, if you haven't done so already. Contact agencies, read government websites, explore charity and mutual aid organizations, etc. so that you are operating in the presence of information, not under the shadow of fear.
Good luck.
posted by cupcakeninja at 6:35 AM on February 16 [25 favorites]
As an historian in training, I studied tyranny among Greeks in the Archaic period (so, pre-Classical). A popular argument throughout the modern study of tyranny has been that the popularity of tyrants was heavily influenced by the chaos that people in the "Dark Age" were suffering--military, economic, etc., etc. The rise of tyrants presented problems, but they solved others. And eventually tyranny passed away, supplanted by other forms of government--including democracy.
All of that is to say that forms of government evolve, disappear, reappear. In contemporary U.S. history, the level of enfranchisement and freedom has varied substantially over time. These changes have occurred for many reasons, sometimes due to tensions and problems woven into the fabric of the country from the era of colonization, others due to external pressures that were not foreseeable in the specific, even if general patterns recur.
All of that is to say, gloom and doom sells, but nothing lasts forever--and that includes terrible things.
news media and Mastodon
From my personal experience, I have found reading novels and book-length nonfiction to provide a sense of continuity and stability that is more conducive to my mental health than scrolling. Sound bites always bend toward exaggeration and chaos, and only the most shallow of books can retain that affect.
I will also offer -- MetaFilter is, in my experience, the worst place I frequent when it comes to predictions of doom. I value the site for many reasons, but the plain text, lack of threading, etc., etc., means everything is flattened, and you can go from a beautiful comment about kittens or whatever to the very next thing you read being a comment (maybe someone blowing off steam, maybe someone feeling they are Sharing Important Information, maybe people committed to a bit) that is absolutely, soul-crushingly grim. I find it unhelpful, and frequently I try to avoid posts here on the topics you mention.
destitute
I cannot speak to your situation, but, again, MetaFilter seems to me often to have a strong bias against the idea that one can do anything to avoid this. (Many people are trapped or in bad situations, 100%, and I am not trying to minimize that fact, but I also know many people who are well off in the U.S., let alone globally and historically, who are under the mistaken impression that they are in danger of starvation because they... can't have luxury goods. And many of them vent their anxiety without disclosing their actual status.) The blue can be a terrible place to read about this -- suggestions that anything other than full communism will lead to anything other than suffering and destitution are regularly roundly mocked, and people who offer contrary thoughts are pilloried. The green is better than the blue about the issue -- perhaps look for past Asks about money and finance, if you think you are ready to read about that. It may be that other sites (r/personalfinance or whatever) are better for this topic.
I know the stresses that caregiving can bring, so perhaps (I do mean "perhaps") this would be a good time to acquaint yourself with what's available in your area in terms of a safety net, if you haven't done so already. Contact agencies, read government websites, explore charity and mutual aid organizations, etc. so that you are operating in the presence of information, not under the shadow of fear.
Good luck.
posted by cupcakeninja at 6:35 AM on February 16 [25 favorites]
Your situation sounds very isolating. Finding a way to engage more with friends or other humans would probably help to ease your sense of despair. I understand that this is probably a significant challenge, but perhaps we could help with that via another ask me?
Humans have been through a lot. We are tough little cockroaches. And in every account I have read or listened to of people living through interesting times, it is connection with others that seems to help them maintain their humanity and sanity. It’s good if this can be in person, but there are other ways to connect.
Hang in there, OP.
posted by bunderful at 6:36 AM on February 16 [4 favorites]
Humans have been through a lot. We are tough little cockroaches. And in every account I have read or listened to of people living through interesting times, it is connection with others that seems to help them maintain their humanity and sanity. It’s good if this can be in person, but there are other ways to connect.
Hang in there, OP.
posted by bunderful at 6:36 AM on February 16 [4 favorites]
I have found that participating in local politics has greatly improved my outlook on life.
I have always been politically active but untargeted. During the period of the Muslim travel ban, I really lost faith in the world and started thinking in extremes. I kept imagining all these extreme actions that might have some effect, like handcuffing myself to the airport. In a moment of rationality, I realized that I would be more effective if instead of acting alone, I combined efforts with a group that already had the tools and skills, and who already had a foothold in the affected communities. My local Democratic Socialists of America chapter was helping refugees and protesting ICE at the time, so I attended a meeting, and then volunteered when they said they needed people to show up at an action.
Over the years, I have participated in a many local political actions, and I am now much more optimistic than I was in 2018. I have seen that things can change, and that even a handful of people can create that change. As part of this work, I've also talked more to folks in the community about their political beliefs, and it's injected a healthy dose of realism into my view of politics. What I see on the news and twitter doesn't match what people say when I talk to them face to face, and overall people are much more inclined to work towards common goals in real life than in media. As part of an organization, I also have people around me who share my values, and it always encourages me to know that these amazing people are out there doing their all to change the world.
I know you mention being a caretaker, which probably limits some of your activities, so for examples of things I've done, I'm going to mention things that I didn't have to leave the house to do. (I don't have a car and live in an area with poor public transit, so I also don't leave the house much!)
We've had several successful campaigns to get resolutions passed at city council related to police oversight, affordable housing, and protections for the homeless. Usually someone with insider knowledge--like an employee at a local justice law group--will tell us about something coming up on the city council agenda that is relevant. Someone will do research on talking points and statistics and assemble a document. Other people will take that and write email and phone scripts to make it easy for others to get involved. Someone else will use a tool like Canva to make social media posts asking people to call or email their council member, with access to the script. Folks will sign up to testify at city council, which since 2020 has had a remote option. Then on the day, we have a group chat where we "live tweet" the council meeting and provide encouragement and applause for the people testifying. There's a feeling of celebration and community even when the topic is dour. Through this, we've helped city council pass resolutions that have literally saved lives. I always have that knowledge in me; what's on twitter can't take it away. And my part was usually done from my desk; making phone calls, typing up scripts, researching statistics.
More recently, I was involved in phone banking for Gaza. I dedicated about 2 hours a week from October 7th until January, using a dialer to call people who were already known to be sympathetic and patch them through to their congress member's voicemail. It was empowering to see actual change happen--we'd target a congress member one day and two days later that person would sign on to a ceasefire bill. Or we'd talk to congressional staff and they would say that the phone blitz changed the congress member's approach. Even being in the zoom for 2 hours with other people fighting for a ceasefire was healthy for my mental health, especially closer to October 7th when anyone calling for a ceasefire was called a Hamas operative by the media.
I am a phone-adverse millennial, so I am always reluctant to do these activities. Then I tell myself, it's just an hour, I can spend two hours doing something unpleasant to stop a genocide. Then once I am actually doing the thing, it ends up being so good for my mental health that one action can prop up my mood for weeks.
Without knowing where you are, if you're in a small town or large city, for instance, it's hard to recommend ways to latch into work, but the key is to find other people who share your values so that it's not you against the world.
posted by tofu_crouton at 6:37 AM on February 16 [20 favorites]
I have always been politically active but untargeted. During the period of the Muslim travel ban, I really lost faith in the world and started thinking in extremes. I kept imagining all these extreme actions that might have some effect, like handcuffing myself to the airport. In a moment of rationality, I realized that I would be more effective if instead of acting alone, I combined efforts with a group that already had the tools and skills, and who already had a foothold in the affected communities. My local Democratic Socialists of America chapter was helping refugees and protesting ICE at the time, so I attended a meeting, and then volunteered when they said they needed people to show up at an action.
Over the years, I have participated in a many local political actions, and I am now much more optimistic than I was in 2018. I have seen that things can change, and that even a handful of people can create that change. As part of this work, I've also talked more to folks in the community about their political beliefs, and it's injected a healthy dose of realism into my view of politics. What I see on the news and twitter doesn't match what people say when I talk to them face to face, and overall people are much more inclined to work towards common goals in real life than in media. As part of an organization, I also have people around me who share my values, and it always encourages me to know that these amazing people are out there doing their all to change the world.
I know you mention being a caretaker, which probably limits some of your activities, so for examples of things I've done, I'm going to mention things that I didn't have to leave the house to do. (I don't have a car and live in an area with poor public transit, so I also don't leave the house much!)
We've had several successful campaigns to get resolutions passed at city council related to police oversight, affordable housing, and protections for the homeless. Usually someone with insider knowledge--like an employee at a local justice law group--will tell us about something coming up on the city council agenda that is relevant. Someone will do research on talking points and statistics and assemble a document. Other people will take that and write email and phone scripts to make it easy for others to get involved. Someone else will use a tool like Canva to make social media posts asking people to call or email their council member, with access to the script. Folks will sign up to testify at city council, which since 2020 has had a remote option. Then on the day, we have a group chat where we "live tweet" the council meeting and provide encouragement and applause for the people testifying. There's a feeling of celebration and community even when the topic is dour. Through this, we've helped city council pass resolutions that have literally saved lives. I always have that knowledge in me; what's on twitter can't take it away. And my part was usually done from my desk; making phone calls, typing up scripts, researching statistics.
More recently, I was involved in phone banking for Gaza. I dedicated about 2 hours a week from October 7th until January, using a dialer to call people who were already known to be sympathetic and patch them through to their congress member's voicemail. It was empowering to see actual change happen--we'd target a congress member one day and two days later that person would sign on to a ceasefire bill. Or we'd talk to congressional staff and they would say that the phone blitz changed the congress member's approach. Even being in the zoom for 2 hours with other people fighting for a ceasefire was healthy for my mental health, especially closer to October 7th when anyone calling for a ceasefire was called a Hamas operative by the media.
I am a phone-adverse millennial, so I am always reluctant to do these activities. Then I tell myself, it's just an hour, I can spend two hours doing something unpleasant to stop a genocide. Then once I am actually doing the thing, it ends up being so good for my mental health that one action can prop up my mood for weeks.
Without knowing where you are, if you're in a small town or large city, for instance, it's hard to recommend ways to latch into work, but the key is to find other people who share your values so that it's not you against the world.
posted by tofu_crouton at 6:37 AM on February 16 [20 favorites]
So, also an atheist. Also a worrier. Also very online. While I don't work in public policy I am a librarian so I'm in the public service and kind of adjacent to some of those things.
Some touchstones to try and keep yourself from spinning off into the doom void:
1. Much of the news media and social media is very Western-centric, and more specifically US-centric and not representative of the whole world. It's also built on a for-profit model that is driven by advertisement dollars which relies on engagement which is higher when emotions are at their most intense.
2. Your attention and emotion are currency to these companies, so you need to find the power within you to choose how to spend that currency. This is hard, and even when you feel like you have it sometimes you still won't spend wisely.
3. You don't need to bear witness to every calamity. Sometimes the broad strokes are enough. When something bad is happening, it's enough to know and understand it's bad without consuming every horrid detail. Try and look for actionable items that you can do whether it's contacting your government rep, donating to a cause, or volunteering.
4. Look for good news because good news exists and gets less coverage because bad news is what sells.
Here's a site that does good news. And it's not just fluffy "let's all just be positive" kind of stuff... it's real progress made by humans who care about each other and the planet. This doesn't mean there isn't still work to do and big scary issues to tackle... but it does mean that for all of the bad stuff there are people taking some action - which is what we need.
Good luck. This isn't an easy thing, especially when you are caregiving, and I hope that you start to find a little bit of ease.
posted by eekernohan at 6:45 AM on February 16 [5 favorites]
Some touchstones to try and keep yourself from spinning off into the doom void:
1. Much of the news media and social media is very Western-centric, and more specifically US-centric and not representative of the whole world. It's also built on a for-profit model that is driven by advertisement dollars which relies on engagement which is higher when emotions are at their most intense.
2. Your attention and emotion are currency to these companies, so you need to find the power within you to choose how to spend that currency. This is hard, and even when you feel like you have it sometimes you still won't spend wisely.
3. You don't need to bear witness to every calamity. Sometimes the broad strokes are enough. When something bad is happening, it's enough to know and understand it's bad without consuming every horrid detail. Try and look for actionable items that you can do whether it's contacting your government rep, donating to a cause, or volunteering.
4. Look for good news because good news exists and gets less coverage because bad news is what sells.
Here's a site that does good news. And it's not just fluffy "let's all just be positive" kind of stuff... it's real progress made by humans who care about each other and the planet. This doesn't mean there isn't still work to do and big scary issues to tackle... but it does mean that for all of the bad stuff there are people taking some action - which is what we need.
Good luck. This isn't an easy thing, especially when you are caregiving, and I hope that you start to find a little bit of ease.
posted by eekernohan at 6:45 AM on February 16 [5 favorites]
The world will go on its way doing whatever it does without your attention on it. You can't change what's happening in the wider world. Quit news media, quit mastadon, do it cold turkey, KEEPING YOURSELF INFORMED IS NOT HELPING ANYONE (least of all you).
Turn your attention to yourself, then your home, then your family and your friends, then your neighborhood and your immediate community. Do it over and over again, every day. Go for a long walk every morning, fix your broken doorknob, show up with soup and sympathy when your family and friends are sick, volunteer at your local food bank. Do this every day and every week for a year, then check back in with yourself to see if you're feeling less hopeless.
Not only is the narrowed focus the only way for you to live a better life and make life better for people who matter to you, it is also the only way to build up your sense of efficacy and effectiveness and power in the world. That sense of power is the only antidote to the hopelessness you feel. When you are mentally stronger and you have a better sense of self, then you may be healthy enough to engage with news media and mastodon to keep yourself informed without getting overwhelmed by it.
posted by MiraK at 6:49 AM on February 16 [10 favorites]
Turn your attention to yourself, then your home, then your family and your friends, then your neighborhood and your immediate community. Do it over and over again, every day. Go for a long walk every morning, fix your broken doorknob, show up with soup and sympathy when your family and friends are sick, volunteer at your local food bank. Do this every day and every week for a year, then check back in with yourself to see if you're feeling less hopeless.
Not only is the narrowed focus the only way for you to live a better life and make life better for people who matter to you, it is also the only way to build up your sense of efficacy and effectiveness and power in the world. That sense of power is the only antidote to the hopelessness you feel. When you are mentally stronger and you have a better sense of self, then you may be healthy enough to engage with news media and mastodon to keep yourself informed without getting overwhelmed by it.
posted by MiraK at 6:49 AM on February 16 [10 favorites]
I share your fears, and I am certainly in crash position myself just because I can't take the fresh blows anymore.
But.
I am reminded over and over again that every very dark point in history has contained, at grass-roots level, resourcefulness. People have found a way. People have made light in the dark. People whose names are only remembered by their neighbors have become revolutionaries, have made the impossible happen, have learned what needed to be learned to get the food grown and the babies born and the guns smuggled.
I agree with all the others that it is an important bit of prep work right now to get plugged into community. Absolutely get involved in local politics and local social causes - and you're busy with caregiving, but just keep up with what's going on to start, and then look for opportunities to participate.
Use social media for keeping up with friends, local news/weather/traffic, and your elected officials. Pull back from other news and events. Make effort, when you can, to connect with friends even far away for a few minutes - ask them to schedule a coffee chat, squeeze in a little game night or something when you can. Get some love into your life and put some into theirs.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:03 AM on February 16 [6 favorites]
But.
I am reminded over and over again that every very dark point in history has contained, at grass-roots level, resourcefulness. People have found a way. People have made light in the dark. People whose names are only remembered by their neighbors have become revolutionaries, have made the impossible happen, have learned what needed to be learned to get the food grown and the babies born and the guns smuggled.
I agree with all the others that it is an important bit of prep work right now to get plugged into community. Absolutely get involved in local politics and local social causes - and you're busy with caregiving, but just keep up with what's going on to start, and then look for opportunities to participate.
Use social media for keeping up with friends, local news/weather/traffic, and your elected officials. Pull back from other news and events. Make effort, when you can, to connect with friends even far away for a few minutes - ask them to schedule a coffee chat, squeeze in a little game night or something when you can. Get some love into your life and put some into theirs.
posted by Lyn Never at 7:03 AM on February 16 [6 favorites]
I know that the general suggestion is to stop using social media but I'm going to be specific: stop looking at Mastodon. Every other social network is going to have more jokes, human interaction, low stakes drama, pretty pictures, and so on. You're basically mainlining despair.
That and if all possible get out of the house. You're not seeing anything good in the actual world, of course you're depressed about it!
posted by kingdead at 7:07 AM on February 16 [4 favorites]
That and if all possible get out of the house. You're not seeing anything good in the actual world, of course you're depressed about it!
posted by kingdead at 7:07 AM on February 16 [4 favorites]
So, I don't mean to come across as all "just take a pill and be happy!" but the vitamin D remark above (which is IME true) reminded me of another thing -- lavender extract.
More specifically the CalmAid extract, which has (some) clinical studies behind it, for some people (like me) really can "take the edge off" anxiety. Doesn't fix it, doesn't make it go away, but for some people it can really make a small-but-crucial bit of improvement.
Drawback: lavender burps. But then you can just pretend you're a cantankerous wizard in a Pratchett boook.
posted by aramaic at 7:26 AM on February 16 [2 favorites]
More specifically the CalmAid extract, which has (some) clinical studies behind it, for some people (like me) really can "take the edge off" anxiety. Doesn't fix it, doesn't make it go away, but for some people it can really make a small-but-crucial bit of improvement.
Drawback: lavender burps. But then you can just pretend you're a cantankerous wizard in a Pratchett boook.
posted by aramaic at 7:26 AM on February 16 [2 favorites]
About six months ago I began working in a job related to environmental activism, corporate change, and climate change. Before I started I was worried that the job would be depressing. All of a sudden, I would have to read past the dire headlines. My brain would be even more filled with all the bad news.
What actually happened is the opposite. I have become much more optimistic.
&
I have found that participating in local politics has greatly improved my outlook on life.
Have also been my experience.
Reading the book Politics is for Power has also been helpful. Part of the argument made by that book is that endless reading of news, blogs (it's an older book), and social media doom streams is not a kind of politics or activism, it's just another kind of quietism. Lying awake at night worrying about the Gulf Stream shutting down is not a superior form of political engagement to not even knowing about climate change because worrying is not an action that impacts the world.
So I would advocate a sort of bi-modal approach to the news in the world. Areas where are you are genuinely able to personally engage, engage deeply, on a local level. Areas where you can't, you actually don't need to engage more deeply than required to vote in the optimal way in elections in which you are eligible. I think too often people think that local involvement isn't grand enough to merit this kind of engagement, that unless it's a national or global issue it's sort of ridiculous to get too involved but realistically unless you actually are involved in national level politics, reading about it endlessly on Mastodon/X/whatever doesn't magically make you part of solving those problems.
It's obviously impossible to personally work on every problem, I personally haven't done anything for the people of Nagorno-Karabakh for example, but when I've spent a long week thinking about how to slice three months off the civil construction programme of a nuclear power plant, I don't then spend the weekend agonising over whether crop yields will collapse in the 2040s, you know? I'm not going to doom-scroll molecules of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere.
posted by atrazine at 7:34 AM on February 16 [12 favorites]
What actually happened is the opposite. I have become much more optimistic.
&
I have found that participating in local politics has greatly improved my outlook on life.
Have also been my experience.
Reading the book Politics is for Power has also been helpful. Part of the argument made by that book is that endless reading of news, blogs (it's an older book), and social media doom streams is not a kind of politics or activism, it's just another kind of quietism. Lying awake at night worrying about the Gulf Stream shutting down is not a superior form of political engagement to not even knowing about climate change because worrying is not an action that impacts the world.
So I would advocate a sort of bi-modal approach to the news in the world. Areas where are you are genuinely able to personally engage, engage deeply, on a local level. Areas where you can't, you actually don't need to engage more deeply than required to vote in the optimal way in elections in which you are eligible. I think too often people think that local involvement isn't grand enough to merit this kind of engagement, that unless it's a national or global issue it's sort of ridiculous to get too involved but realistically unless you actually are involved in national level politics, reading about it endlessly on Mastodon/X/whatever doesn't magically make you part of solving those problems.
It's obviously impossible to personally work on every problem, I personally haven't done anything for the people of Nagorno-Karabakh for example, but when I've spent a long week thinking about how to slice three months off the civil construction programme of a nuclear power plant, I don't then spend the weekend agonising over whether crop yields will collapse in the 2040s, you know? I'm not going to doom-scroll molecules of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere.
posted by atrazine at 7:34 AM on February 16 [12 favorites]
Agree with kingdead. If you can, adjust your social media to target humor, connection, and adorable interspecies cuddling. I swear that looking at capybaras hanging out with goats or whatever makes my shoulder muscles unclench. And I like reading my friends’ posts about work, family, TV, or whatever is going on in their lives.
And it’s not for everyone, but I got a cat a couple of years ago and coincidentally I have had fewer of those really dark, terrible days since then. He makes me laugh all the time, and it’s hard to maintain thorough despair when a cat is purring next to you (YMMV, cats are not a monolith and not all cats are as clingy as mine).
posted by bunderful at 7:35 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
And it’s not for everyone, but I got a cat a couple of years ago and coincidentally I have had fewer of those really dark, terrible days since then. He makes me laugh all the time, and it’s hard to maintain thorough despair when a cat is purring next to you (YMMV, cats are not a monolith and not all cats are as clingy as mine).
posted by bunderful at 7:35 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
Nth-ing get off social media - at some point during peak 2020 pandemic I got really into Twitter, and have since mostly gotten off it, and yeah, big improvement in my overall well-being.
And nth-ing finding a way to be more involved in your community somehow, volunteering, political organizing, etc.
I'm trained as a historian, and while I don't think history really provides great models for thinking about our future (the world of the past really is another country, and I'd say this is increasingly the case), it has made me ponder lately how part of what I think many of us are going through right now is the fact that the future is more unpredictable today than it was 20, 40, etc. years ago. So yes, part of your anxiety might be media-fueled and you can and should address that, but part of your anxiety may very well be rooted in this fact. That doesn't mean you should lean into feel doomed though - rather, I'd work on trying to not be attached to any specific outcome in the future and focus more on the next 5 years.
posted by coffeecat at 7:35 AM on February 16 [2 favorites]
And nth-ing finding a way to be more involved in your community somehow, volunteering, political organizing, etc.
I'm trained as a historian, and while I don't think history really provides great models for thinking about our future (the world of the past really is another country, and I'd say this is increasingly the case), it has made me ponder lately how part of what I think many of us are going through right now is the fact that the future is more unpredictable today than it was 20, 40, etc. years ago. So yes, part of your anxiety might be media-fueled and you can and should address that, but part of your anxiety may very well be rooted in this fact. That doesn't mean you should lean into feel doomed though - rather, I'd work on trying to not be attached to any specific outcome in the future and focus more on the next 5 years.
posted by coffeecat at 7:35 AM on February 16 [2 favorites]
Agreed with the people saying Metafilter can be very bad for your mental health. A lot of anxious people on here, and a lot angry people who insist that everyone else should be just as anxious or angry as they are.
I'm here again but I quit it completely during the worst of the lockdown and it helped me immensely.
If you want to stay on Mastodon, curate your feed. Use filters to hide posts on topics you don't want to see.
If it feels too much work to unfollow all the anxious doomers you're following, create a new list where you add only people whose posts don't distress you, and set that as your default feed. The Tusky app let's you do this.
Unfollow all the hashtags that bring doom into your feed.
This is my approach, rather than quitting social media, because I find a lot of joy and human connection in social media.
But you may find it helpful to limit how much time you spend online.
posted by Zumbador at 7:58 AM on February 16 [16 favorites]
I'm here again but I quit it completely during the worst of the lockdown and it helped me immensely.
If you want to stay on Mastodon, curate your feed. Use filters to hide posts on topics you don't want to see.
If it feels too much work to unfollow all the anxious doomers you're following, create a new list where you add only people whose posts don't distress you, and set that as your default feed. The Tusky app let's you do this.
Unfollow all the hashtags that bring doom into your feed.
This is my approach, rather than quitting social media, because I find a lot of joy and human connection in social media.
But you may find it helpful to limit how much time you spend online.
posted by Zumbador at 7:58 AM on February 16 [16 favorites]
I subscribe to Reasons To Be Cheerful, an excellent reminder that there are positive things going on in the world, all the time!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:02 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:02 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
I subscribe to Reasons To Be Cheerful, an excellent reminder that there are positive things going on in the world, all the time!
Future Crunch is a similar great newsletter, with lots of updates about positive news and developments, especially in the environmental and health spheres, happening all over the world.
posted by LeeLanded at 8:55 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
Future Crunch is a similar great newsletter, with lots of updates about positive news and developments, especially in the environmental and health spheres, happening all over the world.
posted by LeeLanded at 8:55 AM on February 16 [3 favorites]
Besides not obsessively reading the news anymore, the big thing that helps me is spending time with young people. I volunteer at a summer music camp, specifically with the teenagers, and being around them helps me think about the future in a different way. Despite everything, the young people I know are curious, thoughtful, kind, and concerned about how to be good people. That's who's going to be helping us make decisions about how the world works in a few years. When I think about that, I don't feel scared about the future at all, I feel excited and hopeful.
And to echo what others have said, it helps to know that I'm doing something specific and concrete to address the things I'm scared of. As a trans person, sometimes I feel very scared when I think about the political situation in America. I can't do much about that, but I can be here for a trans kid who's scared and needs a kind adult to talk to. I can do something that makes the future better for someone.
And also...spending all day with a bunch of energetic young people is exhausting and I just don't have any energy left to worry. That helps too.
posted by birthday cake at 9:02 AM on February 16 [7 favorites]
And to echo what others have said, it helps to know that I'm doing something specific and concrete to address the things I'm scared of. As a trans person, sometimes I feel very scared when I think about the political situation in America. I can't do much about that, but I can be here for a trans kid who's scared and needs a kind adult to talk to. I can do something that makes the future better for someone.
And also...spending all day with a bunch of energetic young people is exhausting and I just don't have any energy left to worry. That helps too.
posted by birthday cake at 9:02 AM on February 16 [7 favorites]
I am on Mastodon -- it's valuable for me professionally -- so I absolutely validate your perception that it is a gloom-and-doom machine. It does have a couple-three features that help me keep the gloom at bay:
* Filters. Filters filters filters. My filter list is as long as my arm. It's growing much less quickly these days; I've successfully cut out almost everything I don't want to see.
* Some people I like and follow boost stuff I absolutely don't. (Not, like, gross right-wing stuff or anything; just stuff that bums me out.) If you click on their username and then on their user menu, you can stop their boosts from appearing on your timeline while still seeing their originals.
* Block jerks and reply guys (Mastodon's reputation for them is well-earned) early and often. Nobody is owed my attention or yours.
* If you're using the Tweetdeck-like web view ("advanced web functionality" or something in the settings), consider a "sanity" list column with cat pictures, art, and other nice things. I have microfictioners, Benoit Mandelbot (every few days one of these is just gorgeous), a self-care bot, and a few other things in mine.
posted by humbug at 9:50 AM on February 16 [2 favorites]
* Filters. Filters filters filters. My filter list is as long as my arm. It's growing much less quickly these days; I've successfully cut out almost everything I don't want to see.
* Some people I like and follow boost stuff I absolutely don't. (Not, like, gross right-wing stuff or anything; just stuff that bums me out.) If you click on their username and then on their user menu, you can stop their boosts from appearing on your timeline while still seeing their originals.
* Block jerks and reply guys (Mastodon's reputation for them is well-earned) early and often. Nobody is owed my attention or yours.
* If you're using the Tweetdeck-like web view ("advanced web functionality" or something in the settings), consider a "sanity" list column with cat pictures, art, and other nice things. I have microfictioners, Benoit Mandelbot (every few days one of these is just gorgeous), a self-care bot, and a few other things in mine.
posted by humbug at 9:50 AM on February 16 [2 favorites]
I feel like getting out and interacting with humans and seeing them do good things helps me quite a bit.
To your worry that "if I get assaulted on the street there is no one to help me" - I haven't watched someone get assaulted on the street, but I did help a woman who was getting faint find a seat on public transit and then watch several other women talk to her, understand what was going on, and then escort her off of public transit to a nearby clinic. I sprained my ankle badly enough I couldn't walk on it when I was about half a mile from home, and in the 15 minutes I spent sitting on the sidewalk waiting for a friend to help me get home, multiple people stopped, asked me what happened and if they could help, and a group of 4 twenty-somethings insisted on waiting with me until my friend showed up to make sure nothing happened to me while I was sitting on the street corner. When I took my dog out for a walk on a hot day that ended up being more for her than I expected, a random guy who was cleaning the sidewalk insisted on pouring some water into a bowl and letting my dog drink it, which she really needed.
I live in a big city that people often think of as scary and full of not-nice people, but every time I end up forced into relying on someone else for a bit, I come away impressed by the generally good intentions of the humans around me.
posted by A Blue Moon at 10:06 AM on February 16 [8 favorites]
To your worry that "if I get assaulted on the street there is no one to help me" - I haven't watched someone get assaulted on the street, but I did help a woman who was getting faint find a seat on public transit and then watch several other women talk to her, understand what was going on, and then escort her off of public transit to a nearby clinic. I sprained my ankle badly enough I couldn't walk on it when I was about half a mile from home, and in the 15 minutes I spent sitting on the sidewalk waiting for a friend to help me get home, multiple people stopped, asked me what happened and if they could help, and a group of 4 twenty-somethings insisted on waiting with me until my friend showed up to make sure nothing happened to me while I was sitting on the street corner. When I took my dog out for a walk on a hot day that ended up being more for her than I expected, a random guy who was cleaning the sidewalk insisted on pouring some water into a bowl and letting my dog drink it, which she really needed.
I live in a big city that people often think of as scary and full of not-nice people, but every time I end up forced into relying on someone else for a bit, I come away impressed by the generally good intentions of the humans around me.
posted by A Blue Moon at 10:06 AM on February 16 [8 favorites]
A friend of mine in his 30s started mentoring some youth climate activists, and has talked about how energizing and inspiring it can feel. It's not the job of kids to make us feel better about ourselves and our future, of course. But yes, even spending time with young folks who are scared about all the same things we are scared about -- and likely have more time on this earth when they'll experience it -- can be rewarding, because they are organizing for positive change. I'm not saying you have to get involved with your local youth climate movement, but being around younger folks can be an excellent remedy to future-pessimism. For example, given your fear that the US educational system is falling apart, what happens if you volunteered for an hour at your local elementary school once a week? It sounds like you have remote work and caregiver responsibilities, so maybe a weekday situation won't work for you. But can you find something that involves engagement with young people? Because I think it could be 1) a good way for you to have some healthy, in-person interactions with people and 2) a great way to see evidence against some of your catastrophizing.
My city has been painted by local and national media (including social media) as a hellhole of late. And yet, that's not at all my experience being a person living in my city. So some of what I want you to do is focus as much as possible on having experiences, instead of just staying inside out of fear.
How can I become hopeful about the future? How can I come to believe that, 20 years from now, most of the developed world will probably still be a democracy, that late capitalism won't make slaves of us all, that we'll save the climate while the planet is still livable?
Ultimately, the answer to this is that you have to figure out a way you can contribute to the future you want. What is the future you want? What can you do to start living like that and building that? It's not that you'll save it all on your own. It's that working towards this goal, preferably in community, is one of the best ways to counter your own narrative. Margaret Killjoy is an anarchist who created a podcast called Live Like the World Is Dying, and of the things her podcasts emphasize over and over again is the importance of community and connection. So, let's say you knew the capitalist economy was going to fall apart. How are you preparing for that? Holing up in your house isn't going to help you survive, but building community might. And, it turns out, that makes you a lot healthier and happier now, in the short term.
Cultivate that for yourself.
posted by bluedaisy at 10:26 AM on February 16 [5 favorites]
My city has been painted by local and national media (including social media) as a hellhole of late. And yet, that's not at all my experience being a person living in my city. So some of what I want you to do is focus as much as possible on having experiences, instead of just staying inside out of fear.
How can I become hopeful about the future? How can I come to believe that, 20 years from now, most of the developed world will probably still be a democracy, that late capitalism won't make slaves of us all, that we'll save the climate while the planet is still livable?
Ultimately, the answer to this is that you have to figure out a way you can contribute to the future you want. What is the future you want? What can you do to start living like that and building that? It's not that you'll save it all on your own. It's that working towards this goal, preferably in community, is one of the best ways to counter your own narrative. Margaret Killjoy is an anarchist who created a podcast called Live Like the World Is Dying, and of the things her podcasts emphasize over and over again is the importance of community and connection. So, let's say you knew the capitalist economy was going to fall apart. How are you preparing for that? Holing up in your house isn't going to help you survive, but building community might. And, it turns out, that makes you a lot healthier and happier now, in the short term.
Cultivate that for yourself.
posted by bluedaisy at 10:26 AM on February 16 [5 favorites]
I’m a bit concerned you’re looking for like, policy experts to reflect on this.
Here’s what brings me joy and makes me hopeful:
- being around young people, and in some cases, old people
- going for walks daily or at least several times a week, around nature (park/trail/etc) and really observing it on the daily. Once you see birds migrating and the beautiful patterns of ice and trees, it’s lovely. I was sad about the monarchs two years ago, and last year I saw quite a few especially after planting milkweed. I know they are in danger from climate change, but seeing them is still joyful. So over time you start to realize how much beauty and life is free to commune with right now and then you steal milkweed from the trail and plant some.
- reading university news pages around research and innovation
- interacting with real people who work in non-bullshit jobs, especially people-focused ones. My roofing guy and I had a talk about materials and solar panels that made me realize…there is a small army out there of people installing slightly-better-things all the time it’s my opinion the climate deniers are loud and most people are making changes
- sorry to all the haters, but TikTok or Instagram for dogs/travel/humans of NY/nature etc. content is lovely and way better than long discussions of doom
- BBC Earth for the win
Basically - you are making a choice to focus on a particular large-picture narrative rather than being present with the way the world is now. I’m sitting in a small town library right now, and there are some toddlers babbling, a teen wearing what looks like pyjamas to me and two seniors. I have no doubt that despite being a stranger, if I fell down someone would help - and so would I. There’s a seed library on the shelf behind me, and many great books around me. There’s snow on an icy lake. It’s possible all this will burn down in a wildfire. It’s also possible the teen…his girlfriend just joined him and they are sharing an armchair; the books-lined mating grounds of teens whose parents are home, I’m guessing…is going to grow up to be the guy who actually get climate policy with teeth passed. Society has in no way ended. By focusing only on electronic, attention-driven media, you’re missing this, man.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:59 AM on February 16 [6 favorites]
Here’s what brings me joy and makes me hopeful:
- being around young people, and in some cases, old people
- going for walks daily or at least several times a week, around nature (park/trail/etc) and really observing it on the daily. Once you see birds migrating and the beautiful patterns of ice and trees, it’s lovely. I was sad about the monarchs two years ago, and last year I saw quite a few especially after planting milkweed. I know they are in danger from climate change, but seeing them is still joyful. So over time you start to realize how much beauty and life is free to commune with right now and then you steal milkweed from the trail and plant some.
- reading university news pages around research and innovation
- interacting with real people who work in non-bullshit jobs, especially people-focused ones. My roofing guy and I had a talk about materials and solar panels that made me realize…there is a small army out there of people installing slightly-better-things all the time it’s my opinion the climate deniers are loud and most people are making changes
- sorry to all the haters, but TikTok or Instagram for dogs/travel/humans of NY/nature etc. content is lovely and way better than long discussions of doom
- BBC Earth for the win
Basically - you are making a choice to focus on a particular large-picture narrative rather than being present with the way the world is now. I’m sitting in a small town library right now, and there are some toddlers babbling, a teen wearing what looks like pyjamas to me and two seniors. I have no doubt that despite being a stranger, if I fell down someone would help - and so would I. There’s a seed library on the shelf behind me, and many great books around me. There’s snow on an icy lake. It’s possible all this will burn down in a wildfire. It’s also possible the teen…his girlfriend just joined him and they are sharing an armchair; the books-lined mating grounds of teens whose parents are home, I’m guessing…is going to grow up to be the guy who actually get climate policy with teeth passed. Society has in no way ended. By focusing only on electronic, attention-driven media, you’re missing this, man.
posted by warriorqueen at 10:59 AM on February 16 [6 favorites]
As a historian, what I try to do is hold two truths at the same time: things have been, and may in future be, Very Bad, while still things have never been, and probably won’t ever be, All Bad for All People All the Time.
It is not possible to predict how the future will go. No one has the expertise to definitively refute your fears. But even if the climate crisis refigures human habitation, even if democratic governments collapse, even if late-late capitalism becomes even more extractive, the only thing we can know for certain is that people will still be helping each other, loving each other, creating families, making art, struggling to make things better, and finding meaning and joy in their daily lives. In the very worst of historical circumstances, this has always been true.
What makes life bearable isn’t actually the absence of very bad things, but the presence of all those other good things. I think you can start building up your stores of hope by focusing on them, reminding yourself that they still are and still will be there, whether or when the bad things happen.
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 3:18 PM on February 16 [6 favorites]
It is not possible to predict how the future will go. No one has the expertise to definitively refute your fears. But even if the climate crisis refigures human habitation, even if democratic governments collapse, even if late-late capitalism becomes even more extractive, the only thing we can know for certain is that people will still be helping each other, loving each other, creating families, making art, struggling to make things better, and finding meaning and joy in their daily lives. In the very worst of historical circumstances, this has always been true.
What makes life bearable isn’t actually the absence of very bad things, but the presence of all those other good things. I think you can start building up your stores of hope by focusing on them, reminding yourself that they still are and still will be there, whether or when the bad things happen.
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 3:18 PM on February 16 [6 favorites]
Mastodon became a problem for me after the last influx from Twitter, a lot of whom refuse to use CWs and love to shove doom in people's faces. The way I dealt with it was unfollowing the worst, and adding the others to a "BadCWers" list, then selecting "Hide these posts from home" on the list options. That way I can read this list if I'm feeling up to it, but they don't show up by default.
The blog Reasons to be Cheerful has a focus on positive news about important issues and is worth following.
I think you have to recognize that some people like to self-soothe by spreading despair. They feel less alone in their anguish if they can make someone else feel anguish. If at all possible you just have to recognize that such people are toxic and just cut them out of your life as far as you can. You are not obliged to indulge them.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 1:19 AM on February 17 [3 favorites]
The blog Reasons to be Cheerful has a focus on positive news about important issues and is worth following.
I think you have to recognize that some people like to self-soothe by spreading despair. They feel less alone in their anguish if they can make someone else feel anguish. If at all possible you just have to recognize that such people are toxic and just cut them out of your life as far as you can. You are not obliged to indulge them.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 1:19 AM on February 17 [3 favorites]
I agree with the advice to lighten up your daily reading, and my own suggestion is to inject more frivolity in your life.
Seriously, I just had a baby and so now we’re constantly listening to Australian national treasure ABC Kids, rather than serious radio like RN. I mean, I love PK (Patricia Karvelas) but switching over to the kids station is just such a relief some mornings!
If you’re less of a fan of nonsense earworms, I’m also a big fan of mixes off of sites like SoundCloud or NTS radio. There is a world of weird and wonderful radio and music out there to try, plus radio is very compatible with housework and other carer duties.
posted by ec2y at 1:34 AM on February 17
Seriously, I just had a baby and so now we’re constantly listening to Australian national treasure ABC Kids, rather than serious radio like RN. I mean, I love PK (Patricia Karvelas) but switching over to the kids station is just such a relief some mornings!
If you’re less of a fan of nonsense earworms, I’m also a big fan of mixes off of sites like SoundCloud or NTS radio. There is a world of weird and wonderful radio and music out there to try, plus radio is very compatible with housework and other carer duties.
posted by ec2y at 1:34 AM on February 17
I believe that many, many people today discount life in the present--it does have horrors--largely because they are not aware of how so many things have improved over time. Here is one book that actually compares many living standards today with ones in the past. https://www.amazon.com/Its-Getting-Better-All-Time/dp/1882577965 There are more books available. Some examples: maternal and infant care, vaccines (Are you old enough to remember polio?) as well as other healthcare capabilities and thus lifespan have increased, income distribution is better (still bad but...better), educational levels generally and greatly increased, nutrition and food safety markedly improved. To consider just two things: smoking cigarettes has been greatly reduced over the last thirty-or-so years through public health efforts and heart disease and cancer, while still the leading causes of death in the US, are more treatable all the time. (I write this as someone who has stage-4 kidney cancer which will kill me in a few years. Cancer treatment and screening have improved but cancer isn't over yet.) I'm not proposing being complacent about problems today. These problems must continue to be whittled at and diminished. Rather I'm offering that if one is aware of the progress in important areas of living--not just capabilities of new models of cellphones--one would feel that there has been progress and perhaps be more hopeful about the future.
posted by tmdonahue at 3:18 AM on February 17 [2 favorites]
posted by tmdonahue at 3:18 AM on February 17 [2 favorites]
Facebook, reddit, twitter, google news feed, all tend to give you more of what you click on. So the more doom you scroll, the more you get. Mastodon may do the same. Join groups that are working to address Climate Crisis. The news is bad, the reality is bad. In the US, we will see more wild fires, massive destructive storms, weirder and more intense weather, heat. And we can still change to reduce the severity; and the only way we will change is if so many people get on board and do everything they can. Read fewer doom posts and thread, and more activism threads. Join a local group that is working on climate.
In the US, there's a lot of resistance to changing corporate and personal behavior. It will take a lot of work to change this. There's a strong sense that Everybody's flying on vacation trips to Bali; if I don't fly, it won't matter. It matters, and we have to change the point of view.
Get training and education is useful skills; it will be useful and make you feel you will be able to be effective. And get some new hobbies. I'm not wildly optimistic, but I'm not as pessimistic as you are. There are ways forward. Diseases are being eradicated - river blindness will soon be a thing of the past.
And get assessed for Depression, a reasonable response to existential crisis.
posted by theora55 at 8:14 AM on February 18 [2 favorites]
In the US, there's a lot of resistance to changing corporate and personal behavior. It will take a lot of work to change this. There's a strong sense that Everybody's flying on vacation trips to Bali; if I don't fly, it won't matter. It matters, and we have to change the point of view.
Get training and education is useful skills; it will be useful and make you feel you will be able to be effective. And get some new hobbies. I'm not wildly optimistic, but I'm not as pessimistic as you are. There are ways forward. Diseases are being eradicated - river blindness will soon be a thing of the past.
And get assessed for Depression, a reasonable response to existential crisis.
posted by theora55 at 8:14 AM on February 18 [2 favorites]
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posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 5:31 AM on February 16