How do I get my neighbor to split the cost of replacing a fence?
May 5, 2006 3:39 PM   Subscribe

How do I approach my neighbor about splitting the cost of a fence? An old cedar fence that's between our house and our neighbor's is falling apart. It's on my property. I'm planning on replacing it, but I know my neighbor sort of appreciates this fence as well...

I realize this is fully my responsibility, but since we both benefit from this, I want to see if she'll help pay for a new one. What's the best way to position this?

Oh, and by the way...she can be very cantankerous. Nice enough to us, but not exactly friendly with some of the other neighbors.
posted by diastematic to Human Relations (33 answers total)
 
If its on a property line then I believe she's got to split the cost of the fence work. If its a fence on your property that's close to hers then it'll be a little dicier and she may assume the property on her side is hers, which it effectively is.

At least that's how I approached it with my neighbors on each side of the house. Which means you all have to agree on the fence style and cost.

Do a little research to see if there are any local ordinances that could help you out.
posted by fenriq at 3:50 PM on May 5, 2006


Best answer: Perhaps approach the topic passively and enlist her input

"I'm thinking I'm going to replace this fence. I was thinking about this [insert type of wood/finish/etc here] fence, which is pretty reasonable in price. Since you obviously see the fence, too, I'd love to get your input. Of course, I'm willing to pay for it unless you'd like to chip in."
posted by JMOZ at 3:50 PM on May 5, 2006


I wouldn't even dream of suggesting it, myself.

Are you by any chance female? (and probably not by chance, at that ;-P heh) I saw a recent "Clean Sweep" episode where a woman thought that her husband was partially responsible (as far as "his" and "hers") for a set of drinking glasses that she bought when debating on who gets to say when they get thrown out or sold when clearing away clutter. She insisted that since "well you use them" that made him part responsible (a common female assertion in my experience), but it was put to a vote of two male staff guys who just happened to be walking past, and both said they glasses were hers alone, and I (a guy) would immediately agree (but my mother who was also watching, disagreed).

Even if someone else enjoys use of them (or perhaps "just" uses them), the person who bought it is still the owner, so I'd say don't even bring it up, myself.
posted by vanoakenfold at 3:53 PM on May 5, 2006


Response by poster: Oh, it's on my property and completely my responsibility...no doubt. It just happens to sit very closely between our two houses, and I know she gets something out of this, too, so I'm poking around to see what's doable...cuz you never get something unless you ask for it.

Meanwhile, no, I am a man. By chance or by design, I'm not sure. And stop calling me Shirley. ;-)
posted by diastematic at 3:59 PM on May 5, 2006


Your fence, your responsibility. The good news is that putting up a fence on your own is fairly cheap and fun.
posted by LarryC at 4:00 PM on May 5, 2006


Fence law varies tremendously from state to state. Do yourself a favor and spend a few minutes reading through your state code. She may well be obliged to pay half of the cost, particularly if either of you keep any livestock.
posted by waldo at 4:01 PM on May 5, 2006


I was in a similar situation, and wouldn't have dreamed of approaching the neighbor. I'd recommend just bearing the cost of the fence on your own. I'd think that the extra money you'll spend will more than be paid off by peace of mind in knowing there won't be any arguments with your admittedly cantankerous neighbor over selection, installation, and payment.
posted by MegoSteve at 4:06 PM on May 5, 2006


cuz you never get something unless you ask for it.

All you will get is trouble and ill will.

Take MegoSteve's and other's advice and don't open this can of worms. :)
posted by bim at 4:15 PM on May 5, 2006


Add me to the chorus of your fence, your responsibility. As a good neighbor, you should give your next door neighbor plenty of advance notice in order to ensure your construction doesn't interfere with any of her upcoming activities. This is doubly important if she has children or animals and depends upon that fence for their security. I wouldn't turn a neighbor down if they up and offered on their own to share the cost.
posted by buggzzee23 at 4:23 PM on May 5, 2006


Just threaten to move the fence closer to her property line (essentially making her yard smaller) unless she pays up. Just
kidding, of course. But if the fence were to "straddle" the property line, I see no reason why she would not be responsible for part of the cost.
posted by theperfectcrime at 4:25 PM on May 5, 2006


Best answer: Whatever you decide to do, do yourself a favor, and get a property survey.
If the fence is off to the side of the property line, you might find that eventually, you don't own what's on the other side anymore. If it's only a couple of inches, it's probably not a big deal, but if it's a couple of feet, you might miss it when it's gone. heh.

To answer your question, why not just have a chat over the back fence the next time you see your neighbor in the yard?

You: "Hey, neighbor, blah blah, weather, blah blah...oh, by the way, I'm thinking of replacing this rickety old fence, want to chip in?"
Neighbor: "Sure, how does 60/40 sound, since it is on your property"
You: "Great. Thanks, neighbor"

Alternately(depending on codes, etc):

You: "Hey, neighbor, blah blah, weather, blah blah...oh by the way, I'm going to rip down this old rickety fence"
Neighbor: "Really, what are you going to replace it with?"
You: "Nothing, actually"
Neighbor: "Huh, you know, I kinda like that fence"
You: "Yeah, me too, but you know fences are so expensive these days"
Neighbor: "Well, you know, I could split the cost with you. Say, 75/25?"
You: "That sounds great, neighbor. Hey, would you like some zuchinni?"
posted by madajb at 4:35 PM on May 5, 2006


When my dad approached neighbours several years ago, they all said, "Nope. We don't want a fence." As soon as my dad finished our fence, the neighbours fenced the remaining 3/4 of their own yards.

So, if you're thinking of replacing a fence and you want people to chip in, maybe you could suggest that you're going to put up a really ugly, cheap fence, then see what their reaction is. Perhaps they'll be willing to help with an upgrade.

Seriously, though, I think there are a lot of freeriders out there. Even though their property value will rise and they may even receive tangible benefits from your fence, there's little incentive for people to chip in.
posted by acoutu at 5:02 PM on May 5, 2006


I can not for the life of me imagine why anyone would have a fence that does not straddle the property line, nor can I imagine why the neighbour should not be 50% responsible for its cost. Both parties benefit equally by it, so why would one neighbour deserve shafting with the full bill?!

Someone, please explain it. I do not understand.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:08 PM on May 5, 2006


I think the biggest obstacle is that in some sense, the neighbor would not be getting the benefit of the addition to her property, but paying for it. When you sell, you will be getting the reward of her contribution. Unless of course you make a deal where you give her X back when you sell the property.

Personally, I think you should just pay for it yourself. I doubt you'd pay for her to repaint her house, even though it would make your view look better. And I doubt you'd be interested in paying for the fence if the roles were reversed (you may, but that would be really unusual in my opinion).

Get yourself your new fence and be a good neighbor. Don't try and subsidize the cost.
posted by qwip at 5:32 PM on May 5, 2006


I don't usually see the worst in things, but in this case I worry about the following scenario: you pay the full cost, and your neighbor nonetheless permanently holds against you the fact that you put up an ugly fence where she has to look at it.

I guess I'm saying that even if you follow other people's advice and don't bring it up with her, there still seems to be a possibility for acrimony.

A strategy: show her the fence you want, and a couple of horrible ugly cheap ones. When she says "You're not going to put up that!" you say "Oh, but it's so much cheaper!" and she says "Look, I'll split the cost of the more expensive one with you!"
posted by Aknaton at 5:39 PM on May 5, 2006


I think the biggest obstacle is that in some sense, the neighbor would not be getting the benefit of the addition to her property, but paying for it. When you sell, you will be getting the reward of her contribution.

And when she sells, potential buyers wandering around her yard won't say "Yuck, there's this ugly old broken-down fence adjoining the property, and it's not even in a place where we could do anything about it." So sure, she too gets the benefit.
posted by Aknaton at 5:42 PM on May 5, 2006


Run your plans by her. If she offers to chip in, that's great, and you can accept the offer. I think trying to force her to pay for the fence would result in unpleasant neighborly relations.

Who knows, maybe she is interested in fencing the entirety of her yard and maybe you'd get a discount from the fence company if you did both yards at once (and then just split the cost of the middle section). That's what we did when one of our neighbors came to us and talked to us about his intentions of putting up a fence.
posted by Ostara at 6:04 PM on May 5, 2006


nor can I imagine why the neighbour should not be 50% responsible for its cost. Both parties benefit equally by it, so why would one neighbour deserve shafting with the full bill?!

Because both parties don't benefit equally by the existence of the fence, unless they value it equally, which is impossible to prove or to measure.
posted by Kwantsar at 7:17 PM on May 5, 2006


Your property, your fence, you pay. Simple.

If your neighbor is happy with it, fine. If not, well, she can always put up a fence on her side, can't she?
posted by SPrintF at 7:56 PM on May 5, 2006


And make sure to check your local laws. In some areas, you not only will have to pay for the fence, but also put the "good" side of the fence toward your neighbor's property.
posted by richardhay at 8:08 PM on May 5, 2006


richardhay makes a good point -- where I live the party erecting the fence is expected to put the "good" side facing his neighbor and the "bad/interior" side facing his own property (best example is a wooden fence). it is expected that most lots will be arranged such that they own 50% of the fence around their property (i.e. the right or left side) and the other 50% belongs to a neighbor (slightly modified if you have a "back" fence as well). it is likely, then, that your neighbor already has financial responsibility for a portion of her lot's fencing and might not be willing (and most certainly is not required as you already mention) to take on further fence responsibilities.
posted by superfem at 8:18 PM on May 5, 2006


I have a similiar situation. The fence is, however down the middle of the property. It is a good sized structure however, and a replacement of similiar material (rough cedar) will not come cheap. Not knowing what your neighbors financial situation is, I suggest giving them as much notice as possible for such a large outlay of $$$. A year or two is not unreasonable if the price is steep. As to "good side" vs. "bad side" of a fence, our design is such it looks exactly the same on both sides.
posted by bytemover at 8:31 PM on May 5, 2006


I second the idea of (depending on your knowledge of Cranky Neighbor's disposition) floating the idea of replacing the existing fence with a crappy cheap plastic (or whatever) monstrosity because "the really good ones are pricey!" Have a fence catalog or price quote on hand for this conversation. Make the point that you can only afford to budget X dollars and for that money can only afford a crap fencing option. Let the neighbor make the jump that maybe she can chip in Y amount so the two of you can get a decent fence. From there it's just bargaining!
posted by BigLankyBastard at 9:04 PM on May 5, 2006


As suggested above, definitely check the law first, so you know where you stand when and if you talk to your neighbor. If the law stipulates 50/50, for example, it seems you'd need to make a case for the replacement and put the overall conversation in the context of the commitment the neighbor holds by law. If the law states that it's your responsibility at the properly line, then if you do consider talking to the neighbor, you only have to make a case for a courtesty contribution and not the basic decision about replacement and materials -- basically, it would be persuasive in a different, less obligated and more neighborly way. Starting the second type of conversation when the law stipulates 50/50, for example, will make the situation much more difficult to handle if your neighbor refuses to contribute and you're left unhappy with the cost you face.
posted by VulcanMike at 9:29 PM on May 5, 2006


Response by poster: Thanks folks. I'm tempted to try the option in which we run our ugly-fence-plan by her, and she doesn't like what she sees, and theoretically she offers to help get something better. But that's probably a little less likely than Jerry Seinfeld's three-way scenario; she's a cheapskate with horrible taste. She'd WANT the cheapest, ugliest thing possible.

(In fact, if she ever sold her house, we'd consider buying it just so we could tear it down. It's a major neighborhood eyesore.)

What I'm more likely to do is a) check the laws; and b) run our plans by her with no expectations from her...should she offer, that's fine. But no assumptions.

Thanks again!
posted by diastematic at 11:50 PM on May 5, 2006


I like your more likely plan - we very recently mentioned how we have plans to put in a higher fence and our neighbor volunteered to chip in on the cost.
posted by LadyBonita at 12:05 AM on May 6, 2006


I've just gone halves with my neighbour on a fence - which I think was the law but we didn't check. I had the "bad" side on my side because I actually prefer it. To me it seems like it's my fence keeping my neighbour out rather than the other way round.

And I'm with fff - why is it not on the property line? Doesn't that mean you are fencing your own property into your neighbour's yard?
posted by meech at 4:28 AM on May 6, 2006


>Whatever you decide to do, do yourself a favor, and get a property survey. If the fence is off to the side of the property line, you might find that eventually, you don't own what's on the other side anymore. If it's only a couple of inches, it's probably not a big deal, but if it's a couple of feet, you might miss it when it's gone. heh.

This is based on the law of adverse possession. When a person occupies and uses land under a claim of right for a specified period of time (which varies by state - 15 years in mine), and if other conditions are met, the land can become hers.

>if it's a couple of feet, you might miss it when it's gone

Not to mention the disruption to the warranty deed when you want to sell your house. . . or ten years after you sell.

If you put your fence a few feet onto your property, this risk can be avoided. A note signed by your neighbor acknowledging that the fence does not mark the property line, and recorded with the county, is the strongest protection. A letter from you saying the same thing may be enough. Check with a lawyer - it may cost you $100 or so, and it's money well spent.
posted by megatherium at 5:19 AM on May 6, 2006


I can not for the life of me imagine why anyone would have a fence that does not straddle the property line . .
If I want a fence, but my neighbor doesn't, then I have to put it on my property, and cannot put it on the boundary. If I put it exactly on the boundary, then part of it is inevitably on their property, where I have no right to put anything.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:24 AM on May 6, 2006


In some areas, you not only will have to pay for the fence, but also put the "good" side of the fence toward your neighbor's property.
In the UK it's common etiquette for each house to own/maintain the fence on one side only - either left or right, the fence you own faces outwards.

In general the person choosing the fence is the one who pays for it, but you should discuss it first, putting up a cheap fence (or threatening to do so) sounds like a quick way to fall out with your neighbours.
posted by Lanark at 7:22 AM on May 6, 2006


Wow, I've never heard of putting a fence exactly on the property line, so obviously codes vary tremendously. And there may even be codes on how far or close to the line your fence has to be, and who exactly has ownership no matter who pays for it, so definitely check first.

And most definitely without a doubt get a survey done. You might suggest to your neighbor that you could split the cost of the survey too, especially if you could work out a discount to do both lots at the same time.

Can I just put in a plea for you NOT to put up some hideously ugly privacy fence? Please? They're just so unneighborly, unless you plan to parade around nekkid in your yard, then by all means...
posted by SuperSquirrel at 8:47 AM on May 6, 2006


Response by poster: We're good. I'm pricing 6' cedar fenes, which aren't cheap, but they are the aesthetic vernacular in my neighborhood here in Portland, Oregon. Thanks, all, for you advice. AM rocks!
posted by diastematic at 10:13 AM on May 6, 2006


I'm surprised that you would consider buying her house to tear it down, as it is an eyesore, yet you want her to chip in to pay for a fence.

As I said before, just get yourself the fence you want and be done with it. Not your neighbors responsibility - not even a little bit. Wishing it was does not make it so.

Now, I apologize, as I didn't actually answer your question which assumes that asking is OK and that you want to know how to ask nicely. To that question I would again state, what would you do if the situation was reversed - and be honest with yourself. Your actual neighbor asks you to pay for half a fence of her choosing. There, now that you have your answer, go buy your fence.

sorry for the cheekiness, but I'm in that kinda mood
posted by qwip at 11:28 PM on May 6, 2006


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