Have you hacked Christmas?
November 3, 2023 8:49 PM Subscribe
I don't want to go into a gift frenzy this year.
Between family and a few Secret Santa traditions with friends, I end up getting presents for at least ten adults and five kids, multiple gifts for five of these people. There are also (inconveniently) three important birthdays around the holidays. Then I'm getting toys for the six family dogs (though that part is pure fun). As a newly added complication this year, I'm also getting gifts for the six kids who live in the building, three of whom I don't know that well. I want to get a family gift for the family upstairs, and individual gifts for the couple on the ground floor.
I'll end up planning, then buying/ordering, and then wrapping over 50 presents. And money is not abundant. Are there any ways I can make this easier? I know that one option would be to opt out. I don't think that would end up being easier, and disappointing kids is very much not fun. Plus, I actually like searching for presents. I don't enjoy wrapping and I don't like spending all that money. But finding cool things that people will enjoy is fun for me, and I think I'm fairly good at it if I know the people well enough. But...just thinking about the amount of work is tiring me out.
Between family and a few Secret Santa traditions with friends, I end up getting presents for at least ten adults and five kids, multiple gifts for five of these people. There are also (inconveniently) three important birthdays around the holidays. Then I'm getting toys for the six family dogs (though that part is pure fun). As a newly added complication this year, I'm also getting gifts for the six kids who live in the building, three of whom I don't know that well. I want to get a family gift for the family upstairs, and individual gifts for the couple on the ground floor.
I'll end up planning, then buying/ordering, and then wrapping over 50 presents. And money is not abundant. Are there any ways I can make this easier? I know that one option would be to opt out. I don't think that would end up being easier, and disappointing kids is very much not fun. Plus, I actually like searching for presents. I don't enjoy wrapping and I don't like spending all that money. But finding cool things that people will enjoy is fun for me, and I think I'm fairly good at it if I know the people well enough. But...just thinking about the amount of work is tiring me out.
We actually stop doing presents for adults entirely a couple of years ago on one side, and in our immediate household, adults just have stockings and those are primarily consumable or useful things. We just didn't need more stuff. But it's nice to have some chocolates or maybe some cookies on Christmas morning, and a couple of new pens.
But since we are now raising our daughter religiously Jewish, I guess we won't be doing Christmas presents for her either. (I'm culturally Christian - the stockings are more important to me than Jesus).
posted by jb at 9:07 PM on November 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
But since we are now raising our daughter religiously Jewish, I guess we won't be doing Christmas presents for her either. (I'm culturally Christian - the stockings are more important to me than Jesus).
posted by jb at 9:07 PM on November 3, 2023 [4 favorites]
Best answer: This idea may not be helpful depending on your particular family/circumstances, but several years ago my family started giving “gifts” from the library - books, CDs, movies/shows. Most of the gifts for adults (me, my spouse, and parents) are now library items, while the kids get a mix of library and purchased gifts. There is still the element of picking out things you think another person might like, but without much downside if you get it wrong. We “shop” by requesting some specific items and browsing at one or two bigger libraries we wouldn’t normally go to because we love our tiny local library.
Originally, we wrapped library items in plain paper vs patterned paper for bought gifts, but I’ve been making cloth bags a few at a time and eventually we hope to have enough for all the library “gifts.” Not only are the cloth bags less wasteful, but they are so much easier than wrapping.
Library gifts have allowed us maintain an aesthetic of abundance on Xmas morning without the cost and clutter of purchasing things. Folks have new things to read, watch, and listen to on Christmas and during the week or two after. Even though we can’t get through everything before it goes back, we can sample things and make lists of what we want to get from the library later.
posted by ElizaMain at 9:24 PM on November 3, 2023 [54 favorites]
Originally, we wrapped library items in plain paper vs patterned paper for bought gifts, but I’ve been making cloth bags a few at a time and eventually we hope to have enough for all the library “gifts.” Not only are the cloth bags less wasteful, but they are so much easier than wrapping.
Library gifts have allowed us maintain an aesthetic of abundance on Xmas morning without the cost and clutter of purchasing things. Folks have new things to read, watch, and listen to on Christmas and during the week or two after. Even though we can’t get through everything before it goes back, we can sample things and make lists of what we want to get from the library later.
posted by ElizaMain at 9:24 PM on November 3, 2023 [54 favorites]
Best answer: Some suggestions: Scale way back on adult gift-giving would be my primary recommendation; they'll be more likely to understand. Allow yourself to give gift cards. Use gift bags instead of wrapping paper. If there are people that aren't expecting a gift from you this year (yes, even kids), give yourself permission to get to them next year. It's nice that you want to give people gifts, but do recognize when this is an exclusively expectation you're placing on yourself. See if there's a way to give a group gift instead of individual gifts for a subset of people.
posted by Aleyn at 9:24 PM on November 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by Aleyn at 9:24 PM on November 3, 2023 [7 favorites]
Do you like to cook? For the adults, take a weekend day and make a large batch of something consumable—jam, toffee, cookies, etc. Everyone gets the same basic thing. Depending on the kids’ ages, they can get variations on a theme like puzzles or art supplies. Those can all get chucked into gift bags with some tissue paper on top (I also hate wrapping presents.)
posted by corey flood at 10:42 PM on November 3, 2023 [9 favorites]
posted by corey flood at 10:42 PM on November 3, 2023 [9 favorites]
Some places will gift wrap for you, or I’ve also volunteered at a Barnes and Noble and gift wrapped for charity donations during the holidays.
posted by MadamM at 10:53 PM on November 3, 2023
posted by MadamM at 10:53 PM on November 3, 2023
Best answer: Memberships, subscriptions and gift certificates are a low-effort, no-wrapping solution. My mom used to renew a subscription to Saveur for me every year as a Christmas gift, and that was a 'gift that keeps on giving' throughout the year. I have an auntie I send a box of fruit to every year. I'm big on finding something a person likes and then repeating that gift each year. It becomes a kind of tradition in its own right.
But it sounds like you're not trying to save shopping time so much as money. Can you assemble food baskets with lots of interesting and inexpensive items, like spices, tea & coffee, and sweets for the adults? Grab bags of smaller toys for the kids? My sister is into fashion, so I used to scour used book stores for vintage fashion books and magazine. Not everyone loves books, but if you can build around a theme, like cooking or a particular author or genre, you can create a thoughtful little collection that can even be broken up over a birthday + Christmas.
More and more as I get older, I have been moving to consumables for gifts: a bottle of wine or liquor, fancy fruit, chocolates, hand lotions or bath products. These are often had for <$50 and even <$30, and are still a "treat" that the recipient might not splurge on for themselves.
posted by amusebuche at 12:25 AM on November 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
But it sounds like you're not trying to save shopping time so much as money. Can you assemble food baskets with lots of interesting and inexpensive items, like spices, tea & coffee, and sweets for the adults? Grab bags of smaller toys for the kids? My sister is into fashion, so I used to scour used book stores for vintage fashion books and magazine. Not everyone loves books, but if you can build around a theme, like cooking or a particular author or genre, you can create a thoughtful little collection that can even be broken up over a birthday + Christmas.
More and more as I get older, I have been moving to consumables for gifts: a bottle of wine or liquor, fancy fruit, chocolates, hand lotions or bath products. These are often had for <$50 and even <$30, and are still a "treat" that the recipient might not splurge on for themselves.
posted by amusebuche at 12:25 AM on November 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I love wrapping gifts, it’s one of my favorite things and I get really intense about it. But because I’ve put a lot of thought and effort into it I’ve also got some ways I can choose to make a big impact with way less fussiness and effort and fine motor control when I’m not up to it, or just want to mix things up.
I usually eschew gift bags but they are definitely the grownup standard these days. Try to let go of any misconception about bags being lazy or unattractive or whatever. What I especially like to do is to have plain brown paper bags with the paper twine handles in a variety of sizes to accommodate different gifts. Write the name of the recipient in a metallic sharpie right on the outside of the bag. If you want to do squiggles or doodles this would also be the time for that. Then roll the gift in one sheet of tissue, and lay it in the center of a second piece. Let the weight of the gift push the tissue down into the bag so the ends poke up out the top. Using tape or ribbon or a twisty tie, attach pretty much anything onto one of the handles. You can buy premade bows of course, just tie a fat ribbon in a slip knot or bow, attach a premade charm or paper cut out or origami piece or tassel, or twist some fake flower stems on, or tie a wrapped piece of candy or a small toy onto it. That’s it! Present wrapping complete. The big bonus here is that if you have a gift receipt and you forget to include it or mix up which gift goes to who you can swap things around and add stuff last minute, because it’s not actually fastened shut. A small piece of tape at the top can secure things if you’re worried. If you want to decorate the gift bag more you can use stickers or buy ones in colors and patterns (but those are very pricey) or use strips of washi tape or glue on things cut out from wrapping paper scraps or leftover from whatever kind of crafty activity you find pleasant. Label bag, tissue around present, attach handle charm, done. No folding or cutting paper the right size or tying bows.
Another thing that’s even easier than that is using quilting fat quarters. It’s even easier because you only really need a piece of fabric. If you go to any fabric store they will like have a wide selection of small bundles of folded cloth labeled fat quarters. These are pieces of quilting fabric and usually they come in coordinated or themed multipacks. You can often get a lot on a discount near the holidays because crafters are making gifts and there are sales, and you can also find these second hand from people clearing out stashes from relatives and so-on. Anyway, put the piece of fabric nice side down. Place the gift in the middle, right side up if it has a direction like that, with the sides aligned diagonally to the sides of the fabric (so it’s like a diamond inside of a square.) Take two opposite corners of fabric and tie them in the center of the gift, in what I think is called a half square knot? That’s just where you take one end and go over and under and through the other end, you know? Tug that snugly. Then take the remaining opposite corners and repeat. The tails of the first knot should stick out from beneath that, pull those up and finish the square knot on top of the bundle. Cute! To get fancy you can tie a ribbon or pin a bow or other accessory on the top, but if you are using a pretty print or fun color it’s already done! You can use a safety pin to attach a name tag, or use a piece of colored masking tape with a name written on it. No need for hemming edges or anything. If the gift is too large for a single fat quarter, you can also buy fabric remnants which often come in bigger sizes for discounted prices, and you can even ask the person at the store to cut the remnants to approximate size for you.
More generally for your question, absolutely get multiples of the same more generic thing for the people you are not close to. And even sometimes for the people you are close to. As an example, my mom makes nice homemade strawberry and blueberry jams every summer up north and she gives them to people for the holidays down south. Her mahjong friends all used to get some jam plus some kind of specific individual gift, but everyone loved the jam so much that they actually requested en masse that she just give them more jam! One of the best holiday gifts I ever got was a jar of homemade pickles, which the person was giving to everyone that year. And people freaking love a gift card, truly. Arts and crafts supplies for kids (and adults like me!) are an annual hit and you can make packages of them in bulk with individually chosen stickers or coloring books or whatever for each kid without too much extra effort. I’m friends with a family who gifts everyone socks and claims they are from their dogs, like it’s on the gift label and everything, this happens every year and over half my sock drawer is from these dogs supposedly, and everyone raves about how nice it is to get soft fun socks but truthfully they are just piles of socks the mom picks up whenever she sees a pair that seem interesting or cute and then sorts them loosely into appropriate size and color groups for the recipients. They do individual presents from the humans but the dogs always give socks, and I honestly could not tell you what the humans of the family have gifted me in recent years while I tell everyone about the socks all the time.
As a bonus for getting a lot of the same thing for many people, you can wrap each one identically way ahead of time and they will all be the same thing so it won’t get mixed up, and you can add or remove a label as needed.
posted by Mizu at 12:30 AM on November 4, 2023 [13 favorites]
I usually eschew gift bags but they are definitely the grownup standard these days. Try to let go of any misconception about bags being lazy or unattractive or whatever. What I especially like to do is to have plain brown paper bags with the paper twine handles in a variety of sizes to accommodate different gifts. Write the name of the recipient in a metallic sharpie right on the outside of the bag. If you want to do squiggles or doodles this would also be the time for that. Then roll the gift in one sheet of tissue, and lay it in the center of a second piece. Let the weight of the gift push the tissue down into the bag so the ends poke up out the top. Using tape or ribbon or a twisty tie, attach pretty much anything onto one of the handles. You can buy premade bows of course, just tie a fat ribbon in a slip knot or bow, attach a premade charm or paper cut out or origami piece or tassel, or twist some fake flower stems on, or tie a wrapped piece of candy or a small toy onto it. That’s it! Present wrapping complete. The big bonus here is that if you have a gift receipt and you forget to include it or mix up which gift goes to who you can swap things around and add stuff last minute, because it’s not actually fastened shut. A small piece of tape at the top can secure things if you’re worried. If you want to decorate the gift bag more you can use stickers or buy ones in colors and patterns (but those are very pricey) or use strips of washi tape or glue on things cut out from wrapping paper scraps or leftover from whatever kind of crafty activity you find pleasant. Label bag, tissue around present, attach handle charm, done. No folding or cutting paper the right size or tying bows.
Another thing that’s even easier than that is using quilting fat quarters. It’s even easier because you only really need a piece of fabric. If you go to any fabric store they will like have a wide selection of small bundles of folded cloth labeled fat quarters. These are pieces of quilting fabric and usually they come in coordinated or themed multipacks. You can often get a lot on a discount near the holidays because crafters are making gifts and there are sales, and you can also find these second hand from people clearing out stashes from relatives and so-on. Anyway, put the piece of fabric nice side down. Place the gift in the middle, right side up if it has a direction like that, with the sides aligned diagonally to the sides of the fabric (so it’s like a diamond inside of a square.) Take two opposite corners of fabric and tie them in the center of the gift, in what I think is called a half square knot? That’s just where you take one end and go over and under and through the other end, you know? Tug that snugly. Then take the remaining opposite corners and repeat. The tails of the first knot should stick out from beneath that, pull those up and finish the square knot on top of the bundle. Cute! To get fancy you can tie a ribbon or pin a bow or other accessory on the top, but if you are using a pretty print or fun color it’s already done! You can use a safety pin to attach a name tag, or use a piece of colored masking tape with a name written on it. No need for hemming edges or anything. If the gift is too large for a single fat quarter, you can also buy fabric remnants which often come in bigger sizes for discounted prices, and you can even ask the person at the store to cut the remnants to approximate size for you.
More generally for your question, absolutely get multiples of the same more generic thing for the people you are not close to. And even sometimes for the people you are close to. As an example, my mom makes nice homemade strawberry and blueberry jams every summer up north and she gives them to people for the holidays down south. Her mahjong friends all used to get some jam plus some kind of specific individual gift, but everyone loved the jam so much that they actually requested en masse that she just give them more jam! One of the best holiday gifts I ever got was a jar of homemade pickles, which the person was giving to everyone that year. And people freaking love a gift card, truly. Arts and crafts supplies for kids (and adults like me!) are an annual hit and you can make packages of them in bulk with individually chosen stickers or coloring books or whatever for each kid without too much extra effort. I’m friends with a family who gifts everyone socks and claims they are from their dogs, like it’s on the gift label and everything, this happens every year and over half my sock drawer is from these dogs supposedly, and everyone raves about how nice it is to get soft fun socks but truthfully they are just piles of socks the mom picks up whenever she sees a pair that seem interesting or cute and then sorts them loosely into appropriate size and color groups for the recipients. They do individual presents from the humans but the dogs always give socks, and I honestly could not tell you what the humans of the family have gifted me in recent years while I tell everyone about the socks all the time.
As a bonus for getting a lot of the same thing for many people, you can wrap each one identically way ahead of time and they will all be the same thing so it won’t get mixed up, and you can add or remove a label as needed.
posted by Mizu at 12:30 AM on November 4, 2023 [13 favorites]
Best answer: Are you close geographically to any of the kids and are they over 11 or so? If so, recruit a wrapping elf. That child will learn so much about gift-giving from you and you have them over, make hot chocolate, and the two of you can have a wrapping party.
Here’s my cranky (gifts in my family of origin are both fraught and weird) view of people like you who give perfect gifts. You are indeed awesome. But it is a big time commitment if you go on the hunt for individually perfect gifts. What gift-impaired people like me do is:
- set aside one or two days (unless baking) and that’s it. Gift getting used to give me extreme anxiety so I had to time box it.
- pick a few stores: bookstore, toy store, theme store, little luxury store. Shop in this order: toys first. Then the theme store -examples from my past were “silly socks,” “middle eastern luxury foods,” “cosy scarves and hats,” “kitchen utensils you’d never buy yourself” “really nice pens” etc. and knock off as many as possible. Books for everyone else. Then add in little luxuries (candles, soaps etc.) where needed. Have a list. Be done at the end of the day. Stop for a latte and read for half an hour in the middle of it.
- wrapping: I made my style plain. I went to business Costco (the dollar store or online would work) and got larger packs of plan brown bags with handles. I tie a ribbon on and a dollar-store-ish ornament, and in various years wrote or stenciled or stamped “Happy holidays “ or “joy” on them all. Sparkly tissue paper, label, done. I wrap kids gifts if awkward sizes. Also, I time box this to an evening in front of something like Groundhog Day.
- my own kids: I have kept my kids’ expectations in check. The big family gift years (most of us have agreed not to keep exchanging gifts now), they did get mounds of presents. But from me and their dad they get a book/Amazon gift card (they gave Kindles), a craft or puzzle, pjs, and a small gift. From Santa they get the things we don’t fully approve of (even now they are in the know): a video game or gaming related gift card, sugared cereal, etc.
Baking: in years with tighter budgets I have definitely sometimes gone full out on the mixed cookie tin, and enjoyed it. I did a large tray for families and a takeout box for individuals. Other years I did baked loaves or cake pan gingerbread in foil pans or those gift boxes you can bake in. Cellophane and a bow, with a dollar store-type decoration (wood cutout etc) was fine and a hit.
Pandemic: in late 2020 I masked up and went to grocery stores with more unusual foods for most of the gift recipients and gave Indian pickles and quince jam and umeboshi. Those porch drop offs maybe were of their time but people loved it. The “Pocky aisle” is popular with kids.
Tl;dr: Mostly how I make it easier is to limit the choices, limit the time, liming the wrapping style, and then I can do it with love and not stress.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:54 AM on November 4, 2023 [6 favorites]
Here’s my cranky (gifts in my family of origin are both fraught and weird) view of people like you who give perfect gifts. You are indeed awesome. But it is a big time commitment if you go on the hunt for individually perfect gifts. What gift-impaired people like me do is:
- set aside one or two days (unless baking) and that’s it. Gift getting used to give me extreme anxiety so I had to time box it.
- pick a few stores: bookstore, toy store, theme store, little luxury store. Shop in this order: toys first. Then the theme store -examples from my past were “silly socks,” “middle eastern luxury foods,” “cosy scarves and hats,” “kitchen utensils you’d never buy yourself” “really nice pens” etc. and knock off as many as possible. Books for everyone else. Then add in little luxuries (candles, soaps etc.) where needed. Have a list. Be done at the end of the day. Stop for a latte and read for half an hour in the middle of it.
- wrapping: I made my style plain. I went to business Costco (the dollar store or online would work) and got larger packs of plan brown bags with handles. I tie a ribbon on and a dollar-store-ish ornament, and in various years wrote or stenciled or stamped “Happy holidays “ or “joy” on them all. Sparkly tissue paper, label, done. I wrap kids gifts if awkward sizes. Also, I time box this to an evening in front of something like Groundhog Day.
- my own kids: I have kept my kids’ expectations in check. The big family gift years (most of us have agreed not to keep exchanging gifts now), they did get mounds of presents. But from me and their dad they get a book/Amazon gift card (they gave Kindles), a craft or puzzle, pjs, and a small gift. From Santa they get the things we don’t fully approve of (even now they are in the know): a video game or gaming related gift card, sugared cereal, etc.
Baking: in years with tighter budgets I have definitely sometimes gone full out on the mixed cookie tin, and enjoyed it. I did a large tray for families and a takeout box for individuals. Other years I did baked loaves or cake pan gingerbread in foil pans or those gift boxes you can bake in. Cellophane and a bow, with a dollar store-type decoration (wood cutout etc) was fine and a hit.
Pandemic: in late 2020 I masked up and went to grocery stores with more unusual foods for most of the gift recipients and gave Indian pickles and quince jam and umeboshi. Those porch drop offs maybe were of their time but people loved it. The “Pocky aisle” is popular with kids.
Tl;dr: Mostly how I make it easier is to limit the choices, limit the time, liming the wrapping style, and then I can do it with love and not stress.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:54 AM on November 4, 2023 [6 favorites]
I streamline the entire process by shopping throughout the year and purchasing along themes.
For most children, a Crayola Inspiration Art Case is a wonderful gift, it's a collection of quality drawing supplies. They're frequently on sale at various outlets (BOGO deals, etc). They're also rectangles and therefore easy to wrap.
I rarely purchase gifts for adults besides my spouse, but if I do I order a paperback. (People from the NY/NJ area tend to enjoy Andy Mulvihill's memoir about Action Park, for example.) A paperback is inexpensive and very easy to wrap, and within my family we'll often pass them on when we visit each other (making it a group gift).
posted by champers at 5:41 AM on November 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
For most children, a Crayola Inspiration Art Case is a wonderful gift, it's a collection of quality drawing supplies. They're frequently on sale at various outlets (BOGO deals, etc). They're also rectangles and therefore easy to wrap.
I rarely purchase gifts for adults besides my spouse, but if I do I order a paperback. (People from the NY/NJ area tend to enjoy Andy Mulvihill's memoir about Action Park, for example.) A paperback is inexpensive and very easy to wrap, and within my family we'll often pass them on when we visit each other (making it a group gift).
posted by champers at 5:41 AM on November 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: I mostly don't wrap stuff anymore. I have a lot of holiday-colored string and ribbon and I will tie it around the gift along with those little gift cards for putting the person's name on.
For adults, by far my most popular gift is english toffee or toffee-covered nuts that a local food shop sells in 4-oz Christmas and Hanukkah boxes. Again, no wrapping, and relatives start hinting about those in the summer.
Another go-to of mine is the bargain section in a bookstore. In the run-up to the holidays, Barnes and Noble has really nice little leather-bound books of short stories, fariy tales, poems, holiday stuff. Very pretty with just a ribbon around them. (Sadly, most B&Ns seem to have discontinued their gift wrap for charity programs since COVID so if you are going to one for that reason, call and ask.)
posted by BibiRose at 5:46 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
For adults, by far my most popular gift is english toffee or toffee-covered nuts that a local food shop sells in 4-oz Christmas and Hanukkah boxes. Again, no wrapping, and relatives start hinting about those in the summer.
Another go-to of mine is the bargain section in a bookstore. In the run-up to the holidays, Barnes and Noble has really nice little leather-bound books of short stories, fariy tales, poems, holiday stuff. Very pretty with just a ribbon around them. (Sadly, most B&Ns seem to have discontinued their gift wrap for charity programs since COVID so if you are going to one for that reason, call and ask.)
posted by BibiRose at 5:46 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
One more post. Again in the bargain sections of bookstores, I get a lot of journals that are imitation Moleskine and Leuchtturm and pair them with cute pens or stickers for young adults. At this point the 3-packs sold at B&N have better paper than Moleskine.
posted by BibiRose at 6:00 AM on November 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by BibiRose at 6:00 AM on November 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
I’m here to echo the others above who said opting out of exchanging gifts with adults is the way to make Christmas more manageable. We did this in our own family beginning in 2020 and we’ve never looked back. I still bake cookies for the adults in our family, but that’s more enjoyable to me than shopping, and putting cookies in a holiday-themed bakery box is way easier for me than gift wrapping.
posted by little mouth at 7:07 AM on November 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by little mouth at 7:07 AM on November 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: In terms of saving $$$ and time, here are a few ideas:
+ Give each person a few seed packets that you specially select for them depending on what they might like/where they live/whether they might grow stuff in pots or in a garden. Seeds are cheap, the packets can be really fun and pretty, and it's still personalized. If you want to step up these gifts a little to make them bulkier, add a pot/planter/vase, usually pretty easy to find at a thrift store. (You don't have to endeavor to wrap a pot, just put a nice ribbon around it.)
+ For wrapping in general, use the same materials for all your gifts instead of having to buy a bunch of different kinds and as a result, reduce how much you think about/spend on the wrapping. You can usually go to a thrift store and find a big old book with lots of pictures that you can tear out as wrapping, or a roll of wallpaper, or some other odd paper item, plus some discarded ribbon or string, and then all your gifts will be the unusual ones wrapped in maps/duck wallpaper/whatevs.
+ Give yourself a challenge to buy all your gifts at a thrift store and then include a lil note with each one explaining to your recipients that you wanted to try something fun and sustainable this year, so their gift is secondhand and supports whatever cause the thrift store supports and was something special that made you think of them. I particularly like unique glassware/dishes/kitchen fabrics like cloth napkins or placemats/useful zipper pouches. You have to be careful to really think of this as not picking the weirdest or funniest items because there are plenty of those, and they're tempting, but people don't usually actually want them. Instead look for those single little objects that if they were at an artsy gift shop or artist market would grab your eye. (Note: if only secondhand feels weird, you could also do a combo gift of something like, 2 cute tea cups + a couple boxes of nice tea, or some thrifted mugs + a bag of good coffee beans, or a set of pretty used crystal glasses and a new book with cocktail recipes.)
+ Since there are lots of kids on your list, I love the idea of buying some things in bulk and then splitting them up among different kids. For the kids who are your neighbors, filling up a stocking or gift bag for each one with a bunch of same but different items that came in multipacks (Costco, Amazon, Target party section) plus some easy to buy in bulk individually wrapped food/candy seems like it would be great and makes your job more about divvying up.
Your question has gotten me into the holiday spirit! Thanks for asking this!
posted by luzdeluna at 7:18 AM on November 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
+ Give each person a few seed packets that you specially select for them depending on what they might like/where they live/whether they might grow stuff in pots or in a garden. Seeds are cheap, the packets can be really fun and pretty, and it's still personalized. If you want to step up these gifts a little to make them bulkier, add a pot/planter/vase, usually pretty easy to find at a thrift store. (You don't have to endeavor to wrap a pot, just put a nice ribbon around it.)
+ For wrapping in general, use the same materials for all your gifts instead of having to buy a bunch of different kinds and as a result, reduce how much you think about/spend on the wrapping. You can usually go to a thrift store and find a big old book with lots of pictures that you can tear out as wrapping, or a roll of wallpaper, or some other odd paper item, plus some discarded ribbon or string, and then all your gifts will be the unusual ones wrapped in maps/duck wallpaper/whatevs.
+ Give yourself a challenge to buy all your gifts at a thrift store and then include a lil note with each one explaining to your recipients that you wanted to try something fun and sustainable this year, so their gift is secondhand and supports whatever cause the thrift store supports and was something special that made you think of them. I particularly like unique glassware/dishes/kitchen fabrics like cloth napkins or placemats/useful zipper pouches. You have to be careful to really think of this as not picking the weirdest or funniest items because there are plenty of those, and they're tempting, but people don't usually actually want them. Instead look for those single little objects that if they were at an artsy gift shop or artist market would grab your eye. (Note: if only secondhand feels weird, you could also do a combo gift of something like, 2 cute tea cups + a couple boxes of nice tea, or some thrifted mugs + a bag of good coffee beans, or a set of pretty used crystal glasses and a new book with cocktail recipes.)
+ Since there are lots of kids on your list, I love the idea of buying some things in bulk and then splitting them up among different kids. For the kids who are your neighbors, filling up a stocking or gift bag for each one with a bunch of same but different items that came in multipacks (Costco, Amazon, Target party section) plus some easy to buy in bulk individually wrapped food/candy seems like it would be great and makes your job more about divvying up.
Your question has gotten me into the holiday spirit! Thanks for asking this!
posted by luzdeluna at 7:18 AM on November 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
You say that money is part of the issue. If you have literally 50 gifts to buy and a budget of $1,500, that equates to $30/gift. Maybe just setting a budget will help you feel more in control.
posted by samthemander at 7:28 AM on November 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by samthemander at 7:28 AM on November 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
Best answer: For families with multiple children, I’ve moved to a family gift of some kind. Board game everyone can play, family zoo pass (with a small “representative” gift for kids like a stuffed animal found at the zoo or small art thing to go with a museum pass etc)
posted by raccoon409 at 8:03 AM on November 4, 2023 [8 favorites]
posted by raccoon409 at 8:03 AM on November 4, 2023 [8 favorites]
Best answer: Decide on a budget for this (and stick to it).
Not all adults need gifts, let alone large or flashy ones. Consider that some folks are actively trying to de clutter, so consumables or experience gifts would be appreciated more than additional stuff. Other folks may appreciate a heartfelt note more than any physical thing.
Consider buying a gift that can be subdivided among multiple giftees (CostCo is a good source for this). Alternatively a Mason jar gift is its own genre.
For the adults you would like to go the extra mile for.... create custom gift baskets. Thrift a basket. Add a bow. Show love with thoughtful items, not $$$ ones.
posted by oceano at 8:40 AM on November 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
Not all adults need gifts, let alone large or flashy ones. Consider that some folks are actively trying to de clutter, so consumables or experience gifts would be appreciated more than additional stuff. Other folks may appreciate a heartfelt note more than any physical thing.
Consider buying a gift that can be subdivided among multiple giftees (CostCo is a good source for this). Alternatively a Mason jar gift is its own genre.
For the adults you would like to go the extra mile for.... create custom gift baskets. Thrift a basket. Add a bow. Show love with thoughtful items, not $$$ ones.
posted by oceano at 8:40 AM on November 4, 2023 [3 favorites]
Gift theme for an exchange with my family this year “things that can fit in a matchbox”. I’m optimistic about this cutting down on postage and wrapping from the giver’s part - and encroachment on storage space for the receiver. The giver has the choice of giving something expensive and intricate, something hand made but well considered or, at a pinch, something which is a token of a bigger entity (car keys!) or just a box of matches (which at least we all need).
posted by rongorongo at 9:00 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by rongorongo at 9:00 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: My mother regularly frets that I'm "too generous" about gifting the rest of the family on Christmas - and even I think that you are way overdoing it. I feel you with getting into the fun and the spirit of everything and being super-generous, but in some cases here, you're running into the risk of not only making yourself stressed and broke, you're at the risk of coming across as too forward in some cases, and your intentions could backfire.
Here's what you said, and I'm going to bold the bits I think you can change:
1. If what you mean is that you give those five people multiple Christmas gifts, then that is one big thing you can change right away - from now on, each person gets one and only one gift for Christmas. The only wiggle room you can give yourself is by doing a "DIY gift basket" kind of concept, using a couple inexpensive things - like, if you see this really good cookbook for a friend who's learning to make sushi, you can get them that and add a bottle of slightly-fancier-than-usual soy sauce or a packet of sushi rice. But it sounds like you're getting some of these people a cookbook AND a hat AND a board game or something like that, and if that's the case I'd scale down from multiple gifts down to one.
2. The DIY-gift-basket approach also works for dogs - like, get a six-pack of some kind of random dog toy, a package of plastic ziploc bags, some Christmas stickers and a box of Milk-Bone. Slap stickers on six of the Ziploc bags and divvy up the Milk-bone between them, open up the six-pack of the dog toys, and each dog gets a Ziploc and a toy. Done. (And if you are thinking this looks chintzy, I leave you with the observation I overheard a guy make when he and I were browsing in a pet store one December - "you know, I bet my dog would be just as happy if I went out to the backyard and picked up a bunch of sticks.")
3. For the kids in the building you don't know well - why ARE you giving them gifts? This may come across as a bit forward to your neighbors. For people you don't know well, it's much safer to get them only a modest, token gift, if anything. Better yet, lump them into the people you give the "neighbor" gifts to, and for that, see below...
4. The "family gift", and the gifts for the couple on the lower floor, could be a simple batch of homemade cookies or a loaf of homemade banana bread or a couple jars of fancy jam or something. Unless you have a relationship you would categorize as "friends" sticking to a token gift is way safer. A majority of the "nice gifts for neighbors" suggestions you can find online involve taking a random food item and adding a cute label - like, you give them a jar of salsa and a bag of tortilla chips with a note saying that "you're 'nacho' ordinary neighbors" or you give them a box of nicer-than-average pancake mix and some maple syrup with a note saying to enjoy it on Christmas morning or something.
If you're still bound and determined to get something non-consumable and tangible for everyone, then I have a couple suggestions for "I don't know what else to do"...
1. A friend of mine used to make mix CDs of Christmas songs for all of us every year. She went out of her way to find a playlist of things people may not have heard, and would burn them all onto a bunch of CDs and distribute them to all of us. She found some really fun stuff and I still have several (she switched to emailing us all her Spotify playlists each year).
2. There are a ton of holiday-themed books of every description - picture books, storybooks, trivia books, satirical books, joke books, romance books, memoirs, cookbooks, you name it. And some of these are ABSOLUTELY lovely. I have a collection that I set out as part of my annual holiday "decor" each year - along with the garland and lights in the windows, there's also the stack on my coffee table with the Berkley Breathed book and the Tomie de Paolo book and the Lemony Snicket book, in my kitchen I have Nigel Slater's Christmas Chronicles, and on my bedside table I have smaller volumes with copies of A Child's Christmas in Wales and collections of Christmas poems and the copy of A Christmas Carol a sixth-grade teacher gave me for some reason. You can find a lot of these at used book stores, as many have become "timeless classics".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:00 AM on November 4, 2023 [8 favorites]
Here's what you said, and I'm going to bold the bits I think you can change:
Between family and a few Secret Santa traditions with friends, I end up getting presents for at least ten adults and five kids, multiple gifts for five of these people. There are also (inconveniently) three important birthdays around the holidays. Then I'm getting toys for the six family dogs (though that part is pure fun). As a newly added complication this year, I'm also getting gifts for the six kids who live in the building, three of whom I don't know that well. I want to get a family gift for the family upstairs, and individual gifts for the couple on the ground floor.Okay - point-by-point.
1. If what you mean is that you give those five people multiple Christmas gifts, then that is one big thing you can change right away - from now on, each person gets one and only one gift for Christmas. The only wiggle room you can give yourself is by doing a "DIY gift basket" kind of concept, using a couple inexpensive things - like, if you see this really good cookbook for a friend who's learning to make sushi, you can get them that and add a bottle of slightly-fancier-than-usual soy sauce or a packet of sushi rice. But it sounds like you're getting some of these people a cookbook AND a hat AND a board game or something like that, and if that's the case I'd scale down from multiple gifts down to one.
2. The DIY-gift-basket approach also works for dogs - like, get a six-pack of some kind of random dog toy, a package of plastic ziploc bags, some Christmas stickers and a box of Milk-Bone. Slap stickers on six of the Ziploc bags and divvy up the Milk-bone between them, open up the six-pack of the dog toys, and each dog gets a Ziploc and a toy. Done. (And if you are thinking this looks chintzy, I leave you with the observation I overheard a guy make when he and I were browsing in a pet store one December - "you know, I bet my dog would be just as happy if I went out to the backyard and picked up a bunch of sticks.")
3. For the kids in the building you don't know well - why ARE you giving them gifts? This may come across as a bit forward to your neighbors. For people you don't know well, it's much safer to get them only a modest, token gift, if anything. Better yet, lump them into the people you give the "neighbor" gifts to, and for that, see below...
4. The "family gift", and the gifts for the couple on the lower floor, could be a simple batch of homemade cookies or a loaf of homemade banana bread or a couple jars of fancy jam or something. Unless you have a relationship you would categorize as "friends" sticking to a token gift is way safer. A majority of the "nice gifts for neighbors" suggestions you can find online involve taking a random food item and adding a cute label - like, you give them a jar of salsa and a bag of tortilla chips with a note saying that "you're 'nacho' ordinary neighbors" or you give them a box of nicer-than-average pancake mix and some maple syrup with a note saying to enjoy it on Christmas morning or something.
If you're still bound and determined to get something non-consumable and tangible for everyone, then I have a couple suggestions for "I don't know what else to do"...
1. A friend of mine used to make mix CDs of Christmas songs for all of us every year. She went out of her way to find a playlist of things people may not have heard, and would burn them all onto a bunch of CDs and distribute them to all of us. She found some really fun stuff and I still have several (she switched to emailing us all her Spotify playlists each year).
2. There are a ton of holiday-themed books of every description - picture books, storybooks, trivia books, satirical books, joke books, romance books, memoirs, cookbooks, you name it. And some of these are ABSOLUTELY lovely. I have a collection that I set out as part of my annual holiday "decor" each year - along with the garland and lights in the windows, there's also the stack on my coffee table with the Berkley Breathed book and the Tomie de Paolo book and the Lemony Snicket book, in my kitchen I have Nigel Slater's Christmas Chronicles, and on my bedside table I have smaller volumes with copies of A Child's Christmas in Wales and collections of Christmas poems and the copy of A Christmas Carol a sixth-grade teacher gave me for some reason. You can find a lot of these at used book stores, as many have become "timeless classics".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:00 AM on November 4, 2023 [8 favorites]
Best answer: For the niblings I see every Christmas and the kids of close friends, I almost exclusively get gifts that are thrifted/secondhand. I buy lots of fun books via Better World Books (I try to get the ones in good condition that are NOT former library books since library book stamps/labels can make things less aesthetically pleasing). For the three kids in the same family, I often do a theme, music (maracas, kalimba thumb piano and a bluetooth speaker via ShopGoodwill.com), last year was patterns (cryptography book, finger knitting book, Islamic pattern guide plus geometry compass), when they were younger and I was a bit more committed to combining giving with giving, I gave them three flashlights and then donated money to an organization that distributes solar lights to families in (er I forget which country). Honestly, those three flashlights were a giant hit.
posted by spamandkimchi at 9:02 AM on November 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
posted by spamandkimchi at 9:02 AM on November 4, 2023 [4 favorites]
Best answer: My siblings and I have started buying our parents' gifts together (we have multiple step-families, so it becomes overwhelming). We use food services a lot, like a butcher that drop ships holiday packages of frozen organic meat and side dishes. Our parents like it because they're older and really do not need or want more stuff, but they love good quality food they can cook for themselves or serve to guests. I like it because it's easy and I can split the cost with my siblings.
posted by Stoof at 9:05 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Stoof at 9:05 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
For wrapping, I am a shameless scrounger and saver and recycling evangelist, so I have used the brown paper that comes in packages (I might draw some circles or spirals on the paper with markers to make it more festive), the comics pages from the newspaper, and old maps. Also I openly reuse gift wrap from the previous year and since we always convene at the in-laws, I just carefully save the larger pieces of wrapping paper in a closet and then wrap the following year's gifts in whatever pieces work. So sometimes people get gifts wrapped in the paper they gave a gift to me in the previous year! I also save those gift bags and the year I got a Harry & David gift in which fruit and chocolates came in very cute boxes, I saved those and now small items can get stashed in there and stuck under the tree.
posted by spamandkimchi at 9:07 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by spamandkimchi at 9:07 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Oh, I have a bit of a counter-intuitive addition to my earlier comment above, about this point:
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:08 AM on November 4, 2023 [9 favorites]
There are also (inconveniently) three important birthdays around the holidays.I know up above I said to only give your friends one gift each, but I was speaking SPECIFICALLY of Christmas gifts. For the people who have holiday-adjacent birthdays, they've probably felt slightly put-out their whole lives about people who conflate their birthday with Christmas - so they might especially appreciate the added acknowledgement of a birthday gift in addition to a Christmas gift, to show that "I acknowledge that your birthday and Christmas are two separate distinct occasions".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:08 AM on November 4, 2023 [9 favorites]
And to add on lack of preview: some wrapping ideas.
I have used the brown paper that comes in packages (I might draw some circles or spirals on the paper with markers to make it more festive)
Seconding this! I did this last year and it worked a treat - there are a shit-ton of ideas on Pinterest for how to dress up presents wrapped in plain brown paper like this (the search term to use is "kraft paper gift wrapping ideas"). You can dress things up with squiggled markers like this, or rubber stamps - or even just nice ribbon. This kind of brown paper looks AWESOME with plaid or buffalo-print ribbon, or just a nice color of satin ribbon, or even just twine; it's a homey, "rustic" kind of look. (Also, it's just fine to leave the brown paper slightly wrinkly, but if you REALLY want to smooth it out and make it look all neat, I have had luck ironing such paper on a low setting.)
Or - if you're more into the "shiny" approach than you are "rustic", my aunt used to use just plain tinfoil to wrap gifts. She also lived near some woods and would collect and dry things like pine cones or sprigs of milkweed pods, and would spray them with metallic spraypaint and use them as "package toppers" for the tinfoil-wrapped packages. I know that sounds chintzy by description, but they looked so awesome that everyone in the family always oohed and ahhed over them every year.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:15 AM on November 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
I have used the brown paper that comes in packages (I might draw some circles or spirals on the paper with markers to make it more festive)
Seconding this! I did this last year and it worked a treat - there are a shit-ton of ideas on Pinterest for how to dress up presents wrapped in plain brown paper like this (the search term to use is "kraft paper gift wrapping ideas"). You can dress things up with squiggled markers like this, or rubber stamps - or even just nice ribbon. This kind of brown paper looks AWESOME with plaid or buffalo-print ribbon, or just a nice color of satin ribbon, or even just twine; it's a homey, "rustic" kind of look. (Also, it's just fine to leave the brown paper slightly wrinkly, but if you REALLY want to smooth it out and make it look all neat, I have had luck ironing such paper on a low setting.)
Or - if you're more into the "shiny" approach than you are "rustic", my aunt used to use just plain tinfoil to wrap gifts. She also lived near some woods and would collect and dry things like pine cones or sprigs of milkweed pods, and would spray them with metallic spraypaint and use them as "package toppers" for the tinfoil-wrapped packages. I know that sounds chintzy by description, but they looked so awesome that everyone in the family always oohed and ahhed over them every year.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:15 AM on November 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: For the adults and family gifts, I'll give you my secret, time-tested recipe: microwave peanut brittle. It's literally the easiest thing in the world to make, and people think I'm magic for being able to produce it. I spend an afternoon making a ton of it, then box it up in mylar bags and whatever cute, cheap, fold-up boxes are on sale at Michaels (like these). Sometimes I attach a bow.
posted by OrangeDisk at 9:43 AM on November 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by OrangeDisk at 9:43 AM on November 4, 2023 [2 favorites]
Best answer: All kids get a book and a candy bar. Choose a used or under-$10-new medal winner. Inexpensive and easy to wrap in the Sunday comics section, which the kids will find silly and fun.
Embrace family and couple gifts. Downstairs couple gets wine, wrapped in a wine gift bag. Families get games, art kits, lawn toys- anything the kids can share. Then if you still want to do individual gifts they can be inexpensive but fun (see above re books and candy bars but also silly socks, funny erasers, cheaply made glittery pens, etc). The parents also get wine.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 11:02 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
Embrace family and couple gifts. Downstairs couple gets wine, wrapped in a wine gift bag. Families get games, art kits, lawn toys- anything the kids can share. Then if you still want to do individual gifts they can be inexpensive but fun (see above re books and candy bars but also silly socks, funny erasers, cheaply made glittery pens, etc). The parents also get wine.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 11:02 AM on November 4, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I gave families snack subscriptions last year and it was great - 3 x $15 boxes is really fun. I used this company but I'm sure there are lots of great ones.
One time I got family of kids a livelihood goat in their name - it was about $50 at the time - in a country where having a goat can be an economic game changer (milk, baby goats to sell, eventually meat). I drew a large nice picture of it for them, popped it in a dollar store frame, told them to name it (the family abroad would never know about this name), and then I periodically sent them "postcards from the goat", on which I had scrawled BAAAAAAA MaaaaAAAAAaaaa and chewed off some pieces of the postcard. They loved it. It ended up costing me about $70 for the whole family including the postage. For an even more inexpensive option, you can do chicks too for $18 each - which gives the overseas family a supply of nice healthy eggs to eat and sell.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:10 PM on November 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
One time I got family of kids a livelihood goat in their name - it was about $50 at the time - in a country where having a goat can be an economic game changer (milk, baby goats to sell, eventually meat). I drew a large nice picture of it for them, popped it in a dollar store frame, told them to name it (the family abroad would never know about this name), and then I periodically sent them "postcards from the goat", on which I had scrawled BAAAAAAA MaaaaAAAAAaaaa and chewed off some pieces of the postcard. They loved it. It ended up costing me about $70 for the whole family including the postage. For an even more inexpensive option, you can do chicks too for $18 each - which gives the overseas family a supply of nice healthy eggs to eat and sell.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:10 PM on November 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
For snack boxes, be aware of allergies - not all allergens are labelled recognizably overseas. Nuts abound worldwide, Sesame is used in a lot of snacks, Dairy, Gluten, and even Seafood in a lot of Asian snacks. So of course, only gift snacks to people who can eat everything, as labels may not be reliable.
Oh and if you get chicks, you would of course want to stab little "peck marks" all over the postcard. Maybe glue on some feathers or toss in some Mini-eggs.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:19 PM on November 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh and if you get chicks, you would of course want to stab little "peck marks" all over the postcard. Maybe glue on some feathers or toss in some Mini-eggs.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:19 PM on November 5, 2023 [1 favorite]
(For various reasons I do almost no winter holiday gift giving these days but I just wanted to say I love this question and I utterly love the answers. Thank you for asking, and thank you for answering!)
posted by kristi at 8:17 PM on November 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by kristi at 8:17 PM on November 6, 2023 [1 favorite]
Mod note: [btw, this post and ElizaMain's comment have been added to the sidebar and Best Of blog]
posted by taz (staff) at 3:20 AM on November 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by taz (staff) at 3:20 AM on November 7, 2023 [1 favorite]
I try to shop when we travel (which requires a landing spot for "this would make a good gift" type things I drag home) and can have a LOT accomplished before fall.
For wrapping, I love a giant roll of shipping paper (white, kraft paper, black, whatever) and I'm lucky enough to be near an outlet store that is attached to a ribbon factory where they make satin, grosgrain, other kinds of fabric ribbon. I pick a color they have a LOT of, and I use plain shipping tags with twine and a metallic Sharpie. Black or chocolate brown ribbon on kraft paper is beautiful!
posted by ersatzkat at 2:12 PM on November 7, 2023 [2 favorites]
For wrapping, I love a giant roll of shipping paper (white, kraft paper, black, whatever) and I'm lucky enough to be near an outlet store that is attached to a ribbon factory where they make satin, grosgrain, other kinds of fabric ribbon. I pick a color they have a LOT of, and I use plain shipping tags with twine and a metallic Sharpie. Black or chocolate brown ribbon on kraft paper is beautiful!
posted by ersatzkat at 2:12 PM on November 7, 2023 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Oh, I am so glad I asked! I thought my problem was unsolvable or that the only possible solution ("no more gift exchanges!") would be too drastic for me. But after getting all these great ideas, I feel wholly relaxed about Christmas. Truly.
I fully embraced the thrifting spirit already. I love thrifting, and I love spending less money on the presents. I got
- a few perfect-condition picture books for the family kids
- some old baby toys the dogs will love to cuddle (and then shred)
- a formerly expensive fancy maze ball for dogs for a dollar. I had actually been looking at this online, and it costs about 15.
- awesome games (I've played them), very cheaply, for the neighbor kids
- "ingredients" for a fun themed gift basket for one family member
- and, what I might be most excited about: around thirty circles and squares of fabric. Some are former neckerchiefs, some are fun patterned pieces supposed to be used for quilting, some are just shiny Christmassy fabric. And then, my favourites: truly nice scarves. They'll be used to wrap my gifts and I'm thrilled because I won't be messing around with tape this year. Just bunch up, tie closed, maybe tie a ribbon and nametag to the top, done. My thirty "gift bags" cost me around 10, and they double as gifts!! I'm matching the patterns to the people, and I already know that some will be treasured. Plus, this practice is so much more sustainable and I appreciate that.
I have also decided to cut back on the gifts of multiples. I am now only doing that for two people. Because that's hard for me, I'm going to definitely make some treats like that cool Peanut Brittle to chuck in for some people. Some people will only get Peanut Brittle or cookies, and be happy with that. And I'm looking into less tangible gifts, too. I like the idea of subscriptions and goat postcards.
I've also made a date with myself to go out for a day of "getting gifts done" like warriorqueen suggested. I'll do fun and relaxed thrifting for the next couple of weeks, and then use that day to get everything I couldn't thrift. I'm definitely going to save money this year, but most importantly: I think I can hold on to (what's left of) my sanity. Many thanks, everyone!!
PS: The reason I'm giving gifts to kids I barely know is a bit complicated: There's two families in our building. Family A is a family of refugees from Ukraine, and the kids had to leave behind most of their toys. They don't have a lot of money, so I've occasionally gotten them a lego set or something. Last Christmas, they were the only kids in the building, so it wasn't a problem. Family B is fine on toys and money, but the kids all play together...and the youngest is only five. I don't think he would understand why there's presents for just half the kids. However, I'm definitely going to relax about the individual gifts. I'll probably do a family gift for each set of kids, and then maybe just something very small for individual kids. I like the "themed, but varied" idea above. Thinking of mini musical instruments or tiny art supplies.
posted by toucan at 3:46 AM on November 9, 2023 [3 favorites]
I fully embraced the thrifting spirit already. I love thrifting, and I love spending less money on the presents. I got
- a few perfect-condition picture books for the family kids
- some old baby toys the dogs will love to cuddle (and then shred)
- a formerly expensive fancy maze ball for dogs for a dollar. I had actually been looking at this online, and it costs about 15.
- awesome games (I've played them), very cheaply, for the neighbor kids
- "ingredients" for a fun themed gift basket for one family member
- and, what I might be most excited about: around thirty circles and squares of fabric. Some are former neckerchiefs, some are fun patterned pieces supposed to be used for quilting, some are just shiny Christmassy fabric. And then, my favourites: truly nice scarves. They'll be used to wrap my gifts and I'm thrilled because I won't be messing around with tape this year. Just bunch up, tie closed, maybe tie a ribbon and nametag to the top, done. My thirty "gift bags" cost me around 10, and they double as gifts!! I'm matching the patterns to the people, and I already know that some will be treasured. Plus, this practice is so much more sustainable and I appreciate that.
I have also decided to cut back on the gifts of multiples. I am now only doing that for two people. Because that's hard for me, I'm going to definitely make some treats like that cool Peanut Brittle to chuck in for some people. Some people will only get Peanut Brittle or cookies, and be happy with that. And I'm looking into less tangible gifts, too. I like the idea of subscriptions and goat postcards.
I've also made a date with myself to go out for a day of "getting gifts done" like warriorqueen suggested. I'll do fun and relaxed thrifting for the next couple of weeks, and then use that day to get everything I couldn't thrift. I'm definitely going to save money this year, but most importantly: I think I can hold on to (what's left of) my sanity. Many thanks, everyone!!
PS: The reason I'm giving gifts to kids I barely know is a bit complicated: There's two families in our building. Family A is a family of refugees from Ukraine, and the kids had to leave behind most of their toys. They don't have a lot of money, so I've occasionally gotten them a lego set or something. Last Christmas, they were the only kids in the building, so it wasn't a problem. Family B is fine on toys and money, but the kids all play together...and the youngest is only five. I don't think he would understand why there's presents for just half the kids. However, I'm definitely going to relax about the individual gifts. I'll probably do a family gift for each set of kids, and then maybe just something very small for individual kids. I like the "themed, but varied" idea above. Thinking of mini musical instruments or tiny art supplies.
posted by toucan at 3:46 AM on November 9, 2023 [3 favorites]
PS: The reason I'm giving gifts to kids I barely know is a bit complicated: There's two families in our building. Family A is a family of refugees from Ukraine, and the kids had to leave behind most of their toys.
Ahhhhhhhh, that makes sense now (and it's very kind of you).
Still think it's wise to scale back a bit, as you've decided; think of how on planes when they're talking about the air mask that you would put on if the cabin depressurizes, that they always tell you to put on your OWN mask first before helping others. That's a good reminder that you need to make sure YOU'RE okay before helping others, and you don't deplete yourself while serving others. But it sounds like you've also come to that realization as well already.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:02 AM on November 9, 2023 [1 favorite]
Ahhhhhhhh, that makes sense now (and it's very kind of you).
Still think it's wise to scale back a bit, as you've decided; think of how on planes when they're talking about the air mask that you would put on if the cabin depressurizes, that they always tell you to put on your OWN mask first before helping others. That's a good reminder that you need to make sure YOU'RE okay before helping others, and you don't deplete yourself while serving others. But it sounds like you've also come to that realization as well already.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:02 AM on November 9, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh hang on, I had another idea in light of what you've added about your neighbors who are from Ukraine.Since it sounds like you're on good terms with other people in your building, maybe coordinating a joint gift for Family A that you and your neighbors all go in on together?
And another community-building idea, which might be a fun thing to try above and beyond the gift giving - maybe coordinating a "cookie exchange" in your building. This is something my mother did with some of the other mothers in our neighborhood when I was growing up, and it's something we've done here on Metafilter every now and then as well.
Forgive me if you already know what it is, but a friend of mine hadn't heard of it so I'll explain: each person bakes a double batch or so of only ONE kind of cookie, and then packages them up in a number of packages of one dozen each. Then you all get together and give each other one of those packages of a dozen cookies. So you personally would only have to make one thing, but then give some away and get a dozen each of everyone elses' cookies, and so you end up with a variety of different cookies. It sounds like that'd be an AWESOME kind of thing for everyone in your building to do if you're all generally friendly neighborly sorts.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:10 AM on November 9, 2023 [1 favorite]
And another community-building idea, which might be a fun thing to try above and beyond the gift giving - maybe coordinating a "cookie exchange" in your building. This is something my mother did with some of the other mothers in our neighborhood when I was growing up, and it's something we've done here on Metafilter every now and then as well.
Forgive me if you already know what it is, but a friend of mine hadn't heard of it so I'll explain: each person bakes a double batch or so of only ONE kind of cookie, and then packages them up in a number of packages of one dozen each. Then you all get together and give each other one of those packages of a dozen cookies. So you personally would only have to make one thing, but then give some away and get a dozen each of everyone elses' cookies, and so you end up with a variety of different cookies. It sounds like that'd be an AWESOME kind of thing for everyone in your building to do if you're all generally friendly neighborly sorts.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:10 AM on November 9, 2023 [1 favorite]
Oh I’m so happy you are excited about using fabric to wrap your gifts! I did not mention in my answer, but it is yoinked from the Japanese tradition of furoshiki (though my instructions are deliberately less precise and Japan certainly is not the only place that wraps things in fabric.)
If you want to learn how to tie the scarves you got in extra pretty ways, or you have some irregularly shaped gifts you’re unsure how to bundle, look up ways to tie a furoshiki. This post on the spoonflower blog is pretty great (just scroll past all the hemming stuff), and there are tons of videos and origami-like instruction images out there to play around with, once you use the search term furoshiki. I would say that if you are able to fold your laundry, you can learn this pretty quickly.
posted by Mizu at 5:52 AM on November 9, 2023 [1 favorite]
If you want to learn how to tie the scarves you got in extra pretty ways, or you have some irregularly shaped gifts you’re unsure how to bundle, look up ways to tie a furoshiki. This post on the spoonflower blog is pretty great (just scroll past all the hemming stuff), and there are tons of videos and origami-like instruction images out there to play around with, once you use the search term furoshiki. I would say that if you are able to fold your laundry, you can learn this pretty quickly.
posted by Mizu at 5:52 AM on November 9, 2023 [1 favorite]
Give each person a few seed packets
Something I found last year and which kept the kids amused as an alternative to drawing paper was seed paper. Basically, its seeds imprinted in paper, so you can cut it up, draw on it, make Xmas cards etc, then bury it and it should produce wildflowers.
posted by biffa at 11:16 AM on November 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
Something I found last year and which kept the kids amused as an alternative to drawing paper was seed paper. Basically, its seeds imprinted in paper, so you can cut it up, draw on it, make Xmas cards etc, then bury it and it should produce wildflowers.
posted by biffa at 11:16 AM on November 10, 2023 [2 favorites]
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posted by cobaltnine at 8:54 PM on November 3, 2023 [14 favorites]