Unprofessional Medical Professional

August 31, 2023 10:52 AM

I just had a round of laser eye surgery. My doctor is making me, to say the least, unhappy.

I go to a teaching school and I generally consider their work very good even if you do get a new doc every so often, This new one gave me some laser eye surgery and here's how it went.

--His assistant (I never could figure out her title) poked her head in and said, "He's ready to torture you." I had the surgery before but I imagine how I would react to a comment like that if I were a newbie,

--I told her and then the doc how unprofessional I though that was for the reasons above.

--He shrugged and said they got it from him.

--Next he talked to them all the way through the surgery! Ugh! Shut up and pay attention to what you're doing! I get that many docs DO talk through surgery -- but their patients are unconscious, mostly,

--He grabbed my face roughly a number of times. "You certainly are manhandling me" "Yes, I need you in the right position"

I had two teeth pulled yesterday, my follow-up eye appointment is Friday and there's no way I'm letting him touch me, or my face,

I get about patient ombudsman -- and plan to chat with them, but who knows what they really do with their reports-- but how do I get out of this appointment gracefully? And find another doctor gracefully? and not offend anyone in the process? (I am poor and this really is the only place I can go for the extent of my conditions). Scripts are OK.

posted by Rumi'sLeftSock to Health & Fitness (15 answers total)

I can't speak to your other issues. But you went to a "teaching school." Of course the doctor is going talk to his student during the procedure. He's teaching. I go to a teaching hospital for all of my heathcare needs and I regularly deal with med students and residents, many of them active participants.
posted by Stuka at 11:12 AM on August 31, 2023 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Not to thread sit Stuka, but there is no content in what he's telling them. He's BSing, not instructing.
posted by Rumi'sLeftSock at 11:20 AM on August 31, 2023

Best answer: I'd first ascertain whether they have someone else on staff who can do the surgery. "Are there surgeons other than Dr Facegrab doing the blahblah procedures this fall?" if yes then "can we reschedule my procedure for Dr Otherone's clinic?" (then only if pressed) "I wasn't comfortable with Dr Facegrab's style, I'm hoping Dr Otherone might be a better match for me."
posted by fingersandtoes at 11:25 AM on August 31, 2023 [11 favorites]

Best answer: I'm sorry you went through this. It doesn't sound like a pleasant experience for you.

Based on the facts you've presented here, I don't see anything that an ombudsperson could help you with. You are essentially objecting to the doctor's sense of humour and his repartee with his staff. Neither of these are actionable. The way he grabbed your face may be more suspect, but some degree of discomfort is inevitable during medical procedures.

Is further surgery required, or do you need to go for follow up appts so someone can check on the progress of your healing? If the latter, any eye doctor (doesn't have to be someone with training in surgery), or likely even an optometrist, can do the follow up. Can you ask your doctor or the clinic director about this possibility?

If the former, your best bet might be to contact the clinic director about being assigned another surgeon. fingersandtoes' script should work just fine.
posted by sid at 11:42 AM on August 31, 2023 [9 favorites]

Is this follow up appointment just to check to make sure you are healing properly or is it for another procedure? Would you be willing to stop going to this place for eye treatment? If so I would call them up and cancel. Then try to find a new place so you can have them check on the work that was done and ensure you are healing properly.
posted by soelo at 11:56 AM on August 31, 2023

I see one thing that seems like a valid, but weak complaint, and that is the assistant's bedside manner. The rest (the doctor and the trainee communicating, the doc moving your face) on the surface sound like things I would expect.

However, there's something missing here. Was the doctor communicating with you before and during the procedure about what was going to happen? For example: "we will be moving your head during this procedure" and "ok, I'm going to turn your head," or were they just doing things without including you?

If the former, then everything sounds pretty normal. If the latter, yeah I'd feel like a piece of meat if that's how it happened.
posted by zippy at 12:33 PM on August 31, 2023

I personally don’t see anything wrong with what the doctor did - I have doctors I like very much who have weird senses of humour, talk during surgeries, and handle me roughly.

However - are you leaving out that you got a bad gut feeling from him? If you don’t normally react that way to doctors and got a bad vibe from him, that could make his actions seem sinister.

I have never talked to an ombudsman or other patient complaint type of person, so I don’t know how they’d react to a report of a bad gut feeling, but I do think that might be a more important piece of information for you to pay attention to and consider than his actions or words.
posted by wheatlets at 1:19 PM on August 31, 2023

The only possibly valid complaint I see is the "man handling". I think a more effective reaction would have been: "It feels like you are using too much force, can you try to use less?"

So, I say, suck it up and go back, but tell them you are swollen and in pain and need a very light touch. I know you don't want to do that, but it might be the simplest way to get the follow up taken care of and be done with this.

The jokish comment was stupid, but I don't think it was that egregious. I say this as someone who has spent many hours across many years dealing with health care providers of all types and have endured the annoyance of their manner. I will say it was more pervasive with my elderly aunt and mother ("Hello young lady!"! ) than my elder husband. But they deal with patients all day, I tried to cut them some slack.

The chatting during the procedure, as you say, probably goes on when patients are asleep, so it's just the reality of the process.

You are experiencing a lot of medical procedures this week! Rest up and I'm wishing you a quick recovery!
posted by rhonzo at 1:34 PM on August 31, 2023

I don’t think I was clear enough in my comment - I do think that if you have a bad gut feeling about this doctor for no particular reason, you should find another. I would never advocate for ignoring something like that.

But, if you’re just comparing his behaviour to a mental standard of how you think doctors ought to be, I would go back to him and explain before the appointment that you need your face handled very gently. I wouldn’t mention that he previously was too rough, just say you recently had your teeth out and your face hurts, so you’d appreciate it if he could be extra gentle.
posted by wheatlets at 1:41 PM on August 31, 2023

Response by poster: Zippy, the latter. He hurt me.

There's no room in my life to suck it up, as I am on my last nerve (not necessarily from him but cumulative badness). I just got a cancellation and a different doc I've seen before, a woman I like. I'll see her in a week.

The appointment-taker wanted to know WHY so I just told her, "we don't communicate well. I need to be able to communicate with my doctors." She seemed satisfied with my answer, or at least she didn't push me further.

And yeah, I have a whole stable of docs for many things and he is the most offensive doctor I have ever known. Now, being offensive isn't the worst thing in the world, but I have to take care of myself to feel comfortable (mentally and physically).

Thanks, all.
posted by Rumi'sLeftSock at 1:58 PM on August 31, 2023 [11 favorites]

I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but the only times I’ve experienced any pain when being positioned for a medical procedure was when I’ve been instinctually resisting the person doing the positioning. Since realizing this, I basically just go limp and let them do what they need to, and things turn out a lot better.
posted by not just everyday big moggies at 5:44 PM on August 31, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Really glad you were able to switch. That the face-grabber doc did not consider you'd had two teeth pulled just yesterday (your very recent medical history! not far at all from the area he was addressing!) nor treat you more gently when you said "manhandling" (rather, he doubled down) underlines the unprofessionalism & incompetency.
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:48 PM on August 31, 2023 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I'm glad you got your appointment changed, OP. Not sure why people in this thread are urging you to suck it up, or diminishing your experience. You shouldn't be made to do anything by your doctor. If he needs your face in a certain position, he can damn well help you navigate there without being rough. It's not you unconsciously resisting. It's you not consenting to have your body forcibly moved in that way. The joke about "torture" is definitely not funny and is uncalled for. So weird. Here's hoping the next appointment goes better!
posted by kaelynski at 6:34 AM on September 1, 2023 [5 favorites]

Response by poster: Not to be contrary, not just everyday big moggies, but I hold trauma in my body in several areas and from several sources and often have pain. I appreciate your thoughts, but they just aren't applicable to me.... even my GP knows to position me "tenderly." Thank you for writing.
posted by Rumi'sLeftSock at 8:14 AM on September 1, 2023

I'm shocked some folks here are excusing the face-grabbing. Of course doctors sometimes need to reposition you, but the *way* they do it is key, and Rumi'sLeftSock was very clear the doctor was unacceptably dismissive when she was trying to tell him he was hurting her. That's ridiculous. He should say something like, "ok, now I'm going to reposition your head" and after she raised an objection should then say, "ok, I'll be more gentle as I reposition you."

When I had an inguinal hernia in grad school, I was seen at a teaching hospital. The nurse told me to pull my pants down, left, and then the doctor came in with a crew of med students and started feeling my genitals and talking to them without even a quick hello. I was shocked at the time and so pissed off afterwards, and remain pissed off today that I never filed a complaint about the way that went down.

I'm also very happy you were able to find another doctor, Rumi'sLeftSock, and especially glad you were able to tell them "I need to be able to communicate with my doctors" as the reason. Hopefully that was the final complaint added to that doctor's file, or at least passed around the office unofficially, that will lead someone to say something directly to him.
posted by mediareport at 3:59 PM on September 2, 2023 [1 favorite]