Gifts for the temporarily hobbled

April 27, 2023 9:02 PM

I want to send a gift to a loved one who (A) sprained both her ankles, (B) cracked a fibula, (C) lives in the boondocks, (D) has an incontinent geriatric cat, and (E) already has (or does not want) most of the things I’d normally think of. I want the gift to arrive before Mother’s Day. You want more snowflakes? You got ‘em!

Each year, I like to send my aunt something for Mother’s Day. Her mom (my Grandma) and my mom (her baby sis) are both long dead, and she and I are both childless, so this is a way for me to put a bright spot on a holiday that’s tough for both of us.

Aunt is in her early 70s, never married. Her cat is in his early 20s(!) and, apart from some obvious dementia and incontinence, he’s still hanging on, and she’s doing her best to care for him.

One night, a few weeks back, Aunt went to take out garbage in the dark, and she missed a stair off her porch. She took a tumble, sprained both ankles, and (we later learned) got a hairline fracture in one leg.

Her mobility is limited, her dedication to her cat is unflagging, and she is hundreds of miles from me.

She already has: crutches; wheelchair; a CAM boot and brace for the better leg; an air cast for the worse one; a shower chair; a meal plan. She also has streaming entertainment, and many puppy pads, soft foods, and other things to help the cat with his own limitations. She has some local friends helping with shopping, taking out trash, and shuttling her to doctors. I’m profoundly grateful for them!

She can’t use: a Meal Train/laundry service/TaskRabbit/housekeeper/visiting vet or vet tech. She really does live in a remote area, and most of these options are not available. She also has a life-threatening fish/shellfish allergy, and she (rightly) doesn’t trust anything from a restaurant because cross-contamination could be the end of her. (This also limits what she can feed the cat.) She normally loves pamper-y girly bath stuff, but tub baths are off the menu for a while yet.

She already declined our offer to fly there for a weekend, help with household stuff, and keep the cat company while she gets some extra rest. I’m respecting this boundary because I get it — I don’t want people in my space and seeing me/my mess when I’m incapacitated either, even people I love.

She also declined an offer of edibles. She has pain control mostly covered.

This is the same aunt who sent us all kinds of “care packages” when we were helplessly down with Covid; this Mother’s Day, I want to return the favor. In addition to the food allergy and the recent accident, she has also battled three different cancers, two of those in the last 5 years. She lives in a small house, so if I send her stuff it needs to be consumable or worth the footprint.

So…what do I get for her? If you’ve been in a similar situation, but maybe not in a city with lots of services and amenities, what helped YOU?

Thanks for listening if you made it this far. Please turn on the lights before you go downstairs, always always always!

posted by armeowda to Shopping (20 answers total)

What did she put in your care packages? Can you do something similar? Can you do chocolates, cookies, fruits, etc., maybe pre-packaged with allergens listed?
posted by lapis at 9:09 PM on April 27, 2023 [2 favorites]

I'm recuperating from a broken knee right now and having physical therapy before I could even put weight through the leg was extremely helpful. One of the things that physical therapy often does that was surprising to me was massage. I wonder if an in-home massage with a focus on recovery/physical therapy would be both helpful and enjoyable to your aunt.
posted by kdar at 9:18 PM on April 27, 2023 [2 favorites]

Packaged camping meals from REI

Excellent seat cushion

Shiatsu massage pillow

USB heated eye mask (great for dry eye, but also just feels great sometimes)

Fancy cat bed

self-cleaning litter box

cat bed ramp (so he doesn't have to jump as much)

clinically proven music for cats

music for her :)

if the cat is, or could be, on expensive supplements like Cosequin, that

hummingbird feeder that attaches to window

cute mini furniture for cat (somehow I ended up with a used child-sized recliner and foster cat Jonathan cat basically lives there, because it's next to my desk chair)

lint roller

automatic pet food feeder

diatomaceous earth to keep ants away from automatic pet food feeder

cat fountain - there are nice ceramic ones on Etsy, although they would be heavy to move.

Eufy/Roomba automatic floor cleaner
posted by amtho at 9:41 PM on April 27, 2023 [5 favorites]

Does she have a good heating pad for pain relief? She's got to be so uncomfortable.
posted by praemunire at 9:43 PM on April 27, 2023 [3 favorites]

Best answer: A set of grabber/reach tools.
posted by Iris Gambol at 10:05 PM on April 27, 2023 [1 favorite]

You mentioned she has her streaming media covered, but what about an Audible subscription? You can only stare at a screen for so long, it might be nice to just listen to an audiobook instead?
posted by cgg at 10:05 PM on April 27, 2023 [7 favorites]

Prepaid gas card so that she can treat the drivers?
posted by tipsyBumblebee at 10:38 PM on April 27, 2023

Best answer: Pencil puzzles (and new pencils)
Magazines
Pamper-y girly hand lotion (substantial, with a classy fragrance)
Dry shampoo
Wet wipes
Snacks
posted by shock muppet at 12:23 AM on April 28, 2023 [1 favorite]

Hrrmmm… maybe some good jojoba oil to rub into her skin if it’s scaly and itchy or comb through her hair if it’s dry. It’s also good as a carrier oil for scents, but she shouldn’t use those topically and diffusers can be bad times for cats so maybe give essential oils and similar a pass.

I’ve been curious about this extremely fancy shower cap for a long time, supposedly it doesn’t make the dreaded loud shower cap noise and dries super fast. Comes in a bunch of nice prints that feel more glamorous than matronly. Could be paired with a hair mask if you know her hair type and concerns.

A subscription to Riposte might be cool. If she has any specific interests or passions, there is probably a gorgeous highly curated magazine about it. Or maybe she would like travel magazines to do some vicarious wandering.

If she has a tablet or ereader, make sure she knows about Libby, or however the library system in her area does digital lending.
posted by Mizu at 2:21 AM on April 28, 2023 [4 favorites]

When my elderly in-laws are ill or otherwise incapacitated, I send them a bulk assortment of puzzles from Amazon.

Merriam-Webster makes good puzzle collections, you get a collection of small booklets (large print available) with sudokus, crosswords, word finds, etc.

If you want to step it up, you can include nice pens (Le Pen is good for puzzles, they're a lovely fine point).

And when Auntie finishes a book, she can toss it.

If Amazon is not an option, I would go to a drugstore or bookstore, grab some puzzle books and some pleasant lifestyle magazines (in the US, Better Homes and Gardens, Real Simple, and maybe something regional like Sunset or Southern Living) and ship them.
posted by champers at 3:12 AM on April 28, 2023

Not sure if this counts as streaming media, but maybe a subscription to Master Class? There’s a lot of great content there but it’s often not something people think to get for themselves.
posted by Mchelly at 4:20 AM on April 28, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: How about a wheelchair cushion for extra comfort?
Also yes to nice lotion and shower gel.
posted by lesser whistling duck at 5:05 AM on April 28, 2023

Best answer: Does she have things she can easily wear with the aircast and boot? If it's not warm enough where she is to wear shorts yet, can you get her something like one of those knee-length sweatshirts with pockets or maybe wide-legged pants that she can easily pull on and off?

One other helpful thing is an apron with lots of pockets. When you're on crutches, you can't carry a damn thing. But you can wrap a sandwich in a dish towel, grab a bottle of water, put them both in apron pockets and be on your very slow way. It's also a good place to keep your phone (she should always have it with her in case she slips and falls since she's by herself).

I hope your aunt is on the mend soon.
posted by dancinglamb at 5:45 AM on April 28, 2023 [4 favorites]

A gift subscription to libro.fm (audiobooks, but a portion of the proceeds goes to independent bookstores)?
posted by socialjusticeworrier at 7:52 AM on April 28, 2023 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Really nice wipes that smell like a nice bath.
posted by jgirl at 9:45 AM on April 28, 2023

Does she read? A serious cat lover might like Tom Cox's cat books, the first of which is Under the Paw. Realise this is not consumable though. Is it warm enough in her house - a throw?
posted by paduasoy at 10:25 AM on April 28, 2023

Wireless USB charging TENS machine! Fantastic for pain relief without drugs and really speeds healing. Great for lots of aches and pains after. Really helped with my twisted knee, and I'm still using it for the various aches and pains that life keeps bestowing on us mature people. Fifteen minutes after overdoing in the garden makes a huge difference.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:36 PM on April 28, 2023 [1 favorite]

The phrase "wireless USB" made a thought pop up.

If Auntie is resting in bed, watching TV or reading books on devices, she may like power banks or long charging cords for those devices.

It can be a real PITA to charge your iPad with a short cable while watching a movie on it, but a charger or nine foot cable solves the problem nicely.
posted by champers at 4:09 AM on April 29, 2023 [1 favorite]

Tablet holder, adjustable tablet and phone stand
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:27 AM on April 29, 2023

Response by poster: Wow, good people! Every answer was helpful and very thoughtful; I’ve marked some standouts that are particularly suitable under the circumstances.

Thank you all, many times over!
posted by armeowda at 11:09 AM on April 29, 2023 [1 favorite]