I have no clue how to be the executor of this trust
November 7, 2022 12:12 PM Subscribe
I just learned that I am the executor of my aunt's and her partner's trust. I'm guessing the advice here is, "Read the trust, dummy," but beyond that, is there a resource you can point me to, or just specific advice you can provide, to help me get ahead of this?
[Before I begin: in case you, like me, didn't notice MF's dire funding situation and, like me, would like to contribute to MF getting to its Survival scenario, check the links here and check the live auction!]
So here are some specifics, again, any broad or specific advice is much appreciated, I don't know anything about this stuff. My father just passed, but because he had nothing to his name, the executor role was mostly a formality. This is in California, USA.
1. My aunt is dying and her partner may decline quickly after she passes. This is to say that maybe there is a month max before my aunt passes, but I don't know about her partner, who is in ill health but not terminal health.
2. I have no idea whether my role kicks in after my aunt passes, or, presumably more likely, after her partner passes?
3. I have not read the trust and do not have a copy of it, but there is a trust. It is not in a super secure location and I don't know what firm helped them draw it up.
4. My aunt and her partner (formally a domestic partnership in California) own a house of medium value, some unknown amount of savings, and presumably some things I am not aware of.
5. The house is stuffed to the gills with things of low-to-no value. Not in a hoarder sense, but in a "wow the generation before mine sure didn't know how good they had it or how to spend their extra money" kind of way.
5. My best guess is that the trust will bequeath the house and assets to one of my aunt's children, and that the remaining mostly-estranged children will not get much of anything. They all live far, far away in a different state.
If I could elucidate my concerns, I'd suppose the top ones would be:
1. How should I think about/concern myself with transparency for the kids? I don't know them personally and they are all 15-20 years older than me. Literally I've only ever met two of them, and we are basically minor acquaintances.
2. What kind of overall vibes should I be concerned about putting out and receiving? I know that this process raises lots of feelings about and desire for material possessions and assets that are within physical reach but technically governed by a document.
3. Is there any formal process I should anticipate needing to attach to? (For example, a lawyer for the trust, dealing with taxes, dealing with things I don't know about because I don't have assets and my parents didn't have assets.)
4. Extra bonus points for helping me address this anxiety: this place is out in the middle of nowhere and I'm concerned that any initial attempt to get rid of stuff (auction, garage sale, anything at all) will essentially lead to break-in of an unattended property.
Thanks, I have no clue why they chose me, an idiot, for this role!
[Before I begin: in case you, like me, didn't notice MF's dire funding situation and, like me, would like to contribute to MF getting to its Survival scenario, check the links here and check the live auction!]
So here are some specifics, again, any broad or specific advice is much appreciated, I don't know anything about this stuff. My father just passed, but because he had nothing to his name, the executor role was mostly a formality. This is in California, USA.
1. My aunt is dying and her partner may decline quickly after she passes. This is to say that maybe there is a month max before my aunt passes, but I don't know about her partner, who is in ill health but not terminal health.
2. I have no idea whether my role kicks in after my aunt passes, or, presumably more likely, after her partner passes?
3. I have not read the trust and do not have a copy of it, but there is a trust. It is not in a super secure location and I don't know what firm helped them draw it up.
4. My aunt and her partner (formally a domestic partnership in California) own a house of medium value, some unknown amount of savings, and presumably some things I am not aware of.
5. The house is stuffed to the gills with things of low-to-no value. Not in a hoarder sense, but in a "wow the generation before mine sure didn't know how good they had it or how to spend their extra money" kind of way.
5. My best guess is that the trust will bequeath the house and assets to one of my aunt's children, and that the remaining mostly-estranged children will not get much of anything. They all live far, far away in a different state.
If I could elucidate my concerns, I'd suppose the top ones would be:
1. How should I think about/concern myself with transparency for the kids? I don't know them personally and they are all 15-20 years older than me. Literally I've only ever met two of them, and we are basically minor acquaintances.
2. What kind of overall vibes should I be concerned about putting out and receiving? I know that this process raises lots of feelings about and desire for material possessions and assets that are within physical reach but technically governed by a document.
3. Is there any formal process I should anticipate needing to attach to? (For example, a lawyer for the trust, dealing with taxes, dealing with things I don't know about because I don't have assets and my parents didn't have assets.)
4. Extra bonus points for helping me address this anxiety: this place is out in the middle of nowhere and I'm concerned that any initial attempt to get rid of stuff (auction, garage sale, anything at all) will essentially lead to break-in of an unattended property.
Thanks, I have no clue why they chose me, an idiot, for this role!
Generally a trust has a trustee and a will has an executor. People with a trust also have a will to take care of anything that is not owned by the trust. When your aunt dies, her estate will need an executor to take care of notifying interested parties of her death, paying off her outstanding bills and making sure the right people get what is remaining.
At the same time, the trust will have specifically language about what happens to the assets owned by the trust. The trustee is responsible for managing the assets of the trust and, if/when required by the trust to disperse them to the right people. So the trust may give her partner a life-time right to live in the house but then on his death it goes to their children in a specified percent. So in that case, the trustee has to manage the ownership of the house, including maintenance and paying bills from the trust's funds, and then eventually mange the sale or transfer of ownership.
Very first thing you need to do is get a copy of the trust and the will and the name/contact Information for their lawyer.
Second, while lawyers cost money, in your situation it makes sense for the trust to pay for the lawyer to (1) tell you what to do and (2) do some of the things where they can do it much faster and more confidence than you can since they know the drill.
Third, depending on how much work is involved, it is appropriate to pay the trustee/executor for their time, especially since you are not inheriting any of the money. The lawyer can advise you on what is permitted and how to do this in a way that is clean and above board.
posted by metahawk at 12:36 PM on November 7, 2022 [5 favorites]
At the same time, the trust will have specifically language about what happens to the assets owned by the trust. The trustee is responsible for managing the assets of the trust and, if/when required by the trust to disperse them to the right people. So the trust may give her partner a life-time right to live in the house but then on his death it goes to their children in a specified percent. So in that case, the trustee has to manage the ownership of the house, including maintenance and paying bills from the trust's funds, and then eventually mange the sale or transfer of ownership.
Very first thing you need to do is get a copy of the trust and the will and the name/contact Information for their lawyer.
Second, while lawyers cost money, in your situation it makes sense for the trust to pay for the lawyer to (1) tell you what to do and (2) do some of the things where they can do it much faster and more confidence than you can since they know the drill.
Third, depending on how much work is involved, it is appropriate to pay the trustee/executor for their time, especially since you are not inheriting any of the money. The lawyer can advise you on what is permitted and how to do this in a way that is clean and above board.
posted by metahawk at 12:36 PM on November 7, 2022 [5 favorites]
I have a copy of The Trustee's Legal Companion with the trust document itself. I found it useful when making my trust, but it seems particularly good for a new trustee taking over.
posted by caek at 12:47 PM on November 7, 2022
posted by caek at 12:47 PM on November 7, 2022
IANAL but I have been assigned as a trustee and I had to sign stuff to become the trustee - are you sure it's a trust situation and you're not the executer of their will? You have to interact with the trust but is a different position and doesn't require a prior signature on your part as far as I know.
If you are the executer of the estate, there are services you can lean on to deal with the stuff / house disposition. The cost for those services will come out of the estate.
I personally would not reach out to Aunt's kids until you know what's in the paperwork and maybe not even then, until it's necessary. Unless you have a strong belief that for health related reasons your Aunt and her partner aren't able to reach out to the kids, I would assume that they are as informed and involved as Aunt / partner want them to be.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this - it sounds really stressful for you on top of your Aunt sickness. If time / location permits, I would try to get your hands on the documents and do a read through to clarify what's going on but I would also try to let your worry about it go as much as you can. Especially since Aunt partner's situation is uncertain things may change a lot before it becomes your issue to deal with.
posted by macfly at 2:20 PM on November 7, 2022
If you are the executer of the estate, there are services you can lean on to deal with the stuff / house disposition. The cost for those services will come out of the estate.
I personally would not reach out to Aunt's kids until you know what's in the paperwork and maybe not even then, until it's necessary. Unless you have a strong belief that for health related reasons your Aunt and her partner aren't able to reach out to the kids, I would assume that they are as informed and involved as Aunt / partner want them to be.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this - it sounds really stressful for you on top of your Aunt sickness. If time / location permits, I would try to get your hands on the documents and do a read through to clarify what's going on but I would also try to let your worry about it go as much as you can. Especially since Aunt partner's situation is uncertain things may change a lot before it becomes your issue to deal with.
posted by macfly at 2:20 PM on November 7, 2022
Strongly recommend the NOLO books. I got the digital and paper edition - mostly used the digital but nice to have both. They also have some info online. I also did consult with an attorney just briefly. I came with a set of clear legal questions about my responsibilities and best practices.
Sounds like you've been put in a really difficult position. You have the right to refuse to be the executor, or to be paid for your time as executor. If you do proceed, consider limiting your emotional engagement - being a 'robot' during outward facing interactions (but processing the emotions with a therapist or uninvolved friends) may serve you through this time.
posted by latkes at 2:36 PM on November 7, 2022
Sounds like you've been put in a really difficult position. You have the right to refuse to be the executor, or to be paid for your time as executor. If you do proceed, consider limiting your emotional engagement - being a 'robot' during outward facing interactions (but processing the emotions with a therapist or uninvolved friends) may serve you through this time.
posted by latkes at 2:36 PM on November 7, 2022
Best answer: Oh regarding the stuff: I cleared out my parents house. Almost nothing was saleable. It was well taken care of, but there's just not that much market for stuff and reselling is extremely labor intensive. Seems like kids may be attached to items but to address your theft concern consider breaking the process down into:
1) Emotionally important items to family members
2) Definitely saleable items to be sold - possibly transported off site for that purpose - probably not much stuff.
[2b possible estate sale if they have tons of nice well taken care of stuff]
3) Hazardous waste to a hazardous waste facility - most counties or cities have something listed on the municipal website
4) Thrift store may be willing to pick up certain types of items - nice furniture, clothes, books - but don't count on it
5) Junk company can come clean out the rest
You could potentially schedule all of this to happen over a couple days.
--
Can you just ask them to see the trust now? I know this is probably a really rough time for all but very reasonable to say to partner or whatever, "I want to be ready to support you and I need this information to best do that".
posted by latkes at 2:47 PM on November 7, 2022 [2 favorites]
1) Emotionally important items to family members
2) Definitely saleable items to be sold - possibly transported off site for that purpose - probably not much stuff.
[2b possible estate sale if they have tons of nice well taken care of stuff]
3) Hazardous waste to a hazardous waste facility - most counties or cities have something listed on the municipal website
4) Thrift store may be willing to pick up certain types of items - nice furniture, clothes, books - but don't count on it
5) Junk company can come clean out the rest
You could potentially schedule all of this to happen over a couple days.
--
Can you just ask them to see the trust now? I know this is probably a really rough time for all but very reasonable to say to partner or whatever, "I want to be ready to support you and I need this information to best do that".
posted by latkes at 2:47 PM on November 7, 2022 [2 favorites]
Generally the trust will pay for any legal fees. So, the first thing you should do is just talk to a lawyer, then take the steps the lawyer tells you too, probably then an accountant. Regardless, lawyer first. Same goes for all other expenses of administering the trust - make sure to document these. Your jurisdiction probably had checklists for executors. The lawyer should be able to give you that.
Don't ever rely on personal research, googling or non-professional advice in any steps you take or decide not to take. It's not necessarily a good idea for you to carry out certain tasks yourself to save the trust the cost of doing them through a professional service. The lawyer should have guidance for you on this.
Assisting a trust or estate is a pretty bog standard lawyer thing, so to find one, I would ask around for personal recommendations from anyone else who has acted as an executor. If you know any lawyers, ask them, or if you know anyone who knows a lawyer, ask that person to get a recommendation. I've given referrals for friends of friends in such situations. Ask around widely – post on social media even, and some should pop out of the woodwork.
For this kind of thing, you should probably go with someone for whom this is the bulk of their practice, not a totally generalized person (unless it's a small town, but even then, you may not need a local lawyer). The reason for this is the economies of scale of working with a law office that often does this work – you will end up with less hours billed than a generalist and they may have flat rates available. Ask about all of this explicitly. For this type of thing, in my opinion you should expect that the lawyer (not a staff member) is willing to talk to you on the phone for 15-30 minutes before the trust/estate retaining them. During that phone call, they should be able to give you a rough estimate of how much the legal services will cost. They should be able to explain legal concepts to you in a way you understand, as you will be relying on them to tell you what your legal obligations are. If they're totally unwilling to discuss anything on an initial call without being retained, I would find somewhere else. You will need to ask, also, how payment arrangements will be made and how to handle reimbursement from the trust or direct payments from trust assets. Once working with a lawyer, you should look at the legal bills closely, and ask questions if things don't make sense.
Sorry to hear you have been given this responsibility – no one likes it, but it's important, and evidently you are taking the necessary care and giving it the weight it deserves.
posted by lookoutbelow at 5:20 PM on November 7, 2022 [2 favorites]
Don't ever rely on personal research, googling or non-professional advice in any steps you take or decide not to take. It's not necessarily a good idea for you to carry out certain tasks yourself to save the trust the cost of doing them through a professional service. The lawyer should have guidance for you on this.
Assisting a trust or estate is a pretty bog standard lawyer thing, so to find one, I would ask around for personal recommendations from anyone else who has acted as an executor. If you know any lawyers, ask them, or if you know anyone who knows a lawyer, ask that person to get a recommendation. I've given referrals for friends of friends in such situations. Ask around widely – post on social media even, and some should pop out of the woodwork.
For this kind of thing, you should probably go with someone for whom this is the bulk of their practice, not a totally generalized person (unless it's a small town, but even then, you may not need a local lawyer). The reason for this is the economies of scale of working with a law office that often does this work – you will end up with less hours billed than a generalist and they may have flat rates available. Ask about all of this explicitly. For this type of thing, in my opinion you should expect that the lawyer (not a staff member) is willing to talk to you on the phone for 15-30 minutes before the trust/estate retaining them. During that phone call, they should be able to give you a rough estimate of how much the legal services will cost. They should be able to explain legal concepts to you in a way you understand, as you will be relying on them to tell you what your legal obligations are. If they're totally unwilling to discuss anything on an initial call without being retained, I would find somewhere else. You will need to ask, also, how payment arrangements will be made and how to handle reimbursement from the trust or direct payments from trust assets. Once working with a lawyer, you should look at the legal bills closely, and ask questions if things don't make sense.
Sorry to hear you have been given this responsibility – no one likes it, but it's important, and evidently you are taking the necessary care and giving it the weight it deserves.
posted by lookoutbelow at 5:20 PM on November 7, 2022 [2 favorites]
Seconding @lookoutbelow's suggestion to lawyer up. I'm not sure why so many folks are telling you to DIY, seems like a real time sink and something that could go tatas up very easily especially if there are complicated family dynamics at play.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 12:25 AM on November 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Sheydem-tants at 12:25 AM on November 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I agree with latkes to ask to see the document now. But I would expand upon it. Sit down with your aunt to find out what it is that she wants you to accomplish and how the trust document enables you to do that. In my practice, I always encourage the settlor of a trust to do this with her chosen trustee, soon after creating the document.
posted by yclipse at 4:09 AM on November 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by yclipse at 4:09 AM on November 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Mr.Know-it-some at 12:19 PM on November 7, 2022 [5 favorites]