Why do I get so tired when I arrive at home?

August 18, 2022 2:35 PM

I had a great day at work, felt fine, and immediately as soon as I got home I feel bone-tired and my face feels flushed. This happens 2-3 days a week. Tried to nap, can’t fall asleep. I stopped drinking recently, if that might be related. Does anyone have this or know why it might be happening or how to fix it? It’s killing my house-chores productivity. Thanks in advance!
posted by ftm to Health & Fitness (20 answers total)

Any chance you are low on iron? I can always tell when my iron is low because my face periodically feels hot and I am draggy in the afternoon.
posted by xo at 2:45 PM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]

This happens to me all the time - the adrenaline of the work environment keeps me going throughout the day, then it wears off during the commute home and as soon as it's gone... CRASH.

If you were working from home during the pandemic and recently switched to an in-person environment, you may be noticing it anew.
posted by nkknkk at 2:49 PM on August 18, 2022 [16 favorites]

Are you driving a car? This started happening to a friend of mine whose car developed an issue with its catalytic converter and she was getting a dose of carbon monoxide poisoning every day.
posted by corey flood at 2:51 PM on August 18, 2022 [6 favorites]

When this sort of thing happens to me, it usually turns out to be because I'm carrying unusual amounts of stress or pressure at work but not letting myself acknowledge or realize it until I'm safe at home, at which time it comes crashing in.
posted by ook at 2:55 PM on August 18, 2022 [19 favorites]

How’s your air quality at home? Get a couple carbon monoxide alarms! The flushed face actually makes me wonder about carbon monoxide, I would ventilate your house immediately and often while you look into that thoroughly and asap.

Even if your carbon monoxide levels are ok, freshen up your air anyway. Open windows with fans blowing in fresh air every day. High carbon dioxide (or monoxide, or offgas from furniture) will make you feel exhausted. The stats are shocking in how something as simple as fresh air can profoundly affect cognition and energy.

There’s also “restraint collapse” when we get tried after being “on our best behaviour” all day in public.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 3:04 PM on August 18, 2022 [7 favorites]

I work remotely, but I often experience a similar crash a few minutes after I log off and walk away from my desk. I’ve noticed it’s particularly pronounced on days when I’ve been highly productive, doing a lot of “brain toil.” If I get up and keep moving, I can catch a second wind, but if I try to sit down and read or something, I’m out like a light.

It’s also more of A Thing for me at this time of year. I figure my body just doesn’t want to be awake during the hottest part of the day. If it’s summer where you are, that could be a factor as well.

I admit I have not noticed a face flush with my post-work crash, though. (Admittedly, I’m one of those people who’s flushed as often as not, especially in August.)
posted by armeowda at 3:09 PM on August 18, 2022 [2 favorites]

I totally have this too, and someone just recommended that I try taking a shower as soon as I get off work. Have yet to implement this but it sounds like it could work!
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:37 PM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]

It's worth checking on carbon monoxide poisoning. The minute you said "flushed cheeks" that was the non-medical, knee-jerk reaction I had. Any headache? Dizziness?

I don't know if there's a portable way to check on your commute, but nthing the CO monitors at home.
posted by adekllny at 3:49 PM on August 18, 2022 [4 favorites]

Once you finally get to relax, you collapse. Happens all the time. Until then, you were on work high alert and could not.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:57 PM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]

Stopping anything fun can cause short term depression which can show up in part like being tired.
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 4:03 PM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]

What’s your eating routine like? I tend to crash post-work pre-dinner if I don’t have enough for lunch, have too many carbs or sugary things at lunch or in the afternoon, or don’t drink enough water during the day. Larger healthier lunch and a good solid afternoon snack help me avoid this.
posted by MadamM at 4:15 PM on August 18, 2022 [3 favorites]

Your question was nagging at me over dinner so I came back in to write this. Please ventilate your house immediately, sleep with a fan blowing in fresh air, keep airing it out several times a day until you can check your carbon monoxide levels, and do check your carbon monoxide levels thoroughly and soon.

Carbon monoxide poisoning is really serious. I follow an influencer who got CO poisoning from a faulty boiler in an LDS temple in Utah a couple years ago and required days in a hyperbaric chamber to prevent brain damage. (And here's a fascinating story from a Reddit user who was sleepwalking while intoxicated on carbon monoxide).

If you do discover that you had elevated CO levels, definitely go to the hospital - the damage can be reversed but you might need oxygen therapy.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 4:58 PM on August 18, 2022 [3 favorites]

The flushed face makes me wonder if there is anything in your car or your home environment which is causing your mast cells to dump histamine - flushing is a classic histamine reaction.

These are some of the things that can cause a histamine response:

The presence of mold or other fungus

High levels of chlorine (in swimming pools, etc) or chlorine bleach used as a cleaning agent

Heat: separately from decreasing your histamine tolerance, heat can actually cause mast cell degranulation.

Carrageenan in cosmetics/soaps/etc

Ammonia, formaldehyde, stearyl alcohol

Latex
posted by carriage pulled by cassowaries at 5:38 PM on August 18, 2022 [2 favorites]

First, congratulations on stopping drinking because it sounds like a goal you've accomplished. I absolutely think this change in habits could be part of the explanation. You're tired 2-3 days after work? Since it's not every day, my guess is that it could be stress or allergies or simply being too tired from the night before. For example, if I get little sleep Sunday-Monday, I'm usually fine on Monday but super tired on Tuesday. Allergies really play a big role in how I feel physically even if I take daily allergy meds. Maybe you're getting a lot of sun or it getting dark earlier is making you more tired? Maybe you're drinking more coffee or tea or fizzy drinks instead of alcohol and that's keeping you up. So many possibilities and eventually I'm sure it'll be clearer.

I now have to arrive at work at 7 a.m. and I found myself tired after work for more days than not. My solution was to take a nap on those days and it's been good. I don't nap as much these days but it's an easy fix. When I'm super stressed, I can't nap so I understand how that can be frustrating. When I started working out regularly, like exercise classes a few evenings each week, I'd find myself so tired in the morning. Fortunately, after a few months I have plenty of energy and actually find myself energized from fitness. Changing even a small thing in our routine can totally interrupt our schedules for a few weeks or even a few months. I'm glad we are resilient even if change is hard.

Going to your GP for a physical check up is always a good idea. Going to therapy for a psychological check up is also a good idea. You have lots of great suggestions of things to consider, and I hope you find both the cause and a solution.
posted by smorgasbord at 6:33 PM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]

I was having regular problems with flushing in the evening around the time you describe. Read that it can be a symptom of dehydration. Started drinking more water and it stopped (and if I chug a glass when it starts, it goes away quickly rather than lingering for hours). Also helped with energy.
posted by brook horse at 7:41 PM on August 18, 2022 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I think this might be a result of quitting drinking, if you had developed a habit of having a drink right when you got home.

Your body may have developed a Pavlovian anticipation to the alcohol of an expected drink by sending blood to your face instead of your more vulnerable brain, and by sending out a pulse of insulin to reduce your blood sugar in order to force the alcohol to be metabolized more quickly, which could result in low blood sugar driven fatigue when the anticipated alcohol fails to arrive.
posted by jamjam at 8:24 PM on August 18, 2022 [2 favorites]

I think the human body kind of "knows" when it's safe to release. Like, have you ever been out, and you're like "yeah I kinda have to pee" and then as soon as you walk in your front door you're like "I have to pee RIGHT NOW".

Maybe it's like that.
posted by rhymedirective at 6:36 AM on August 19, 2022 [4 favorites]

Sick Building Syndrome? Some houses can make people sick. The culprit is typically adhesives (from new carpet for example) in new buildings, and mold in older buildings. Both can be toxic.
posted by The Half Language Plant at 11:42 AM on August 19, 2022

I think the human body kind of "knows" when it's safe to release. Like, have you ever been out, and you're like "yeah I kinda have to pee" and then as soon as you walk in your front door you're like "I have to pee RIGHT NOW".

My bra magically goes from totally unnoticed to unwearably uncomfortable the minute I walk in my front door.
posted by showbiz_liz at 4:19 PM on August 19, 2022 [4 favorites]

If you're AFAB, could it be menopause? That will mess with energy levels and cause flushing...
posted by altolinguistic at 11:42 AM on August 20, 2022