Want to be an activist, but joining the PTA might kill me.
April 11, 2022 10:06 AM Subscribe
I am bad at gossip and conflict. I have worked both as a teacher and a fundraiser and have sworn off both. How can I be politically active without being miserable? Snowflake details inside.
We, a white family, moved to a new, pretty liberal town a couple years back. HeroZero jr. started elementary school. I signed on to participate in a DEI project through the school. I've met some great parents and teachers, but it's been a miserable experience due to disorganized DEI consultants.
I'm getting asked to join the PTA by some of the other DEI group members who are already a part of it. My school is blessedly not dealing with the QAnon-type PTA crazies that are sweeping the nation, but I've heard tell of extremely heated arguments, personal attacks, etc. It sounds awful. On the other hand, our school has a diverse student body and some big racial issues. There's a lot of work that needs to be done.
Basically: I want to be politically active, but every time I get near to it, everything inside me wants to run the other way. I can (and do) have challenging conversations with my kid and friends and coworkers about the concrete political issues that come up in our lives. I go on marches and call voters when I can (which is less, now that I have a kid). But the actual "politicking" part of activism is beyond me. So where could I be most useful?
Other details: we don't have a ton of money, so I can't do a lot of donations. I was a teacher for seven years, burned out hard, and now have a slightly allergic reaction to anything school/teaching related.
We, a white family, moved to a new, pretty liberal town a couple years back. HeroZero jr. started elementary school. I signed on to participate in a DEI project through the school. I've met some great parents and teachers, but it's been a miserable experience due to disorganized DEI consultants.
I'm getting asked to join the PTA by some of the other DEI group members who are already a part of it. My school is blessedly not dealing with the QAnon-type PTA crazies that are sweeping the nation, but I've heard tell of extremely heated arguments, personal attacks, etc. It sounds awful. On the other hand, our school has a diverse student body and some big racial issues. There's a lot of work that needs to be done.
Basically: I want to be politically active, but every time I get near to it, everything inside me wants to run the other way. I can (and do) have challenging conversations with my kid and friends and coworkers about the concrete political issues that come up in our lives. I go on marches and call voters when I can (which is less, now that I have a kid). But the actual "politicking" part of activism is beyond me. So where could I be most useful?
Other details: we don't have a ton of money, so I can't do a lot of donations. I was a teacher for seven years, burned out hard, and now have a slightly allergic reaction to anything school/teaching related.
Are there opportunities for more 'hands on' volunteering that doesn't involve the politics? Things like helping at after-school clubs, mentoring etc. They might not offer the opportunities to effect structural change the way the PTA etc. would, but would give you the chance to be a direct positive influence in the lives of some of the kids in the school.
It might take some boundary-setting, particularly if they already know you have skills in other areas, and especially if they think that the political stuff is more prestigious, and can't understand why you might want to "just" be turning up for drama club once a week. But if you can stick to your guns, you could use your time to provide opportunities to kids and enjoy their company while leaving the politics to others.
posted by penguin pie at 10:42 AM on April 11, 2022 [2 favorites]
It might take some boundary-setting, particularly if they already know you have skills in other areas, and especially if they think that the political stuff is more prestigious, and can't understand why you might want to "just" be turning up for drama club once a week. But if you can stick to your guns, you could use your time to provide opportunities to kids and enjoy their company while leaving the politics to others.
posted by penguin pie at 10:42 AM on April 11, 2022 [2 favorites]
It sounds like you are at risk of burning out if you join the PTA in addition to the DEI project you describe as "a miserable experience." Volunteering needs to give something back to you (in satisfaction, in building a skill, in meeting new people) to be sustainable.
I love the idea of helping with concrete needs at the school (food, clothing, materials to help students learn, friendly adult supervision/mentorship). A mutual aid framework could do some good baseline community building around these needs, too.
You could look over PTA minutes and see if there's a committee that you're excited about, so you mostly deal with that committee vs. the whole PTA.
You can also keep an eye on school-board-level agendas to see if there's something you want to work on, having activist communities where a subset of people are there as part of their paid work and the rights and responsibilities that come with that can help keep things on the rails (but this is maybe not right for you because of your teacher burnout).
posted by momus_window at 11:13 AM on April 11, 2022 [6 favorites]
I love the idea of helping with concrete needs at the school (food, clothing, materials to help students learn, friendly adult supervision/mentorship). A mutual aid framework could do some good baseline community building around these needs, too.
You could look over PTA minutes and see if there's a committee that you're excited about, so you mostly deal with that committee vs. the whole PTA.
You can also keep an eye on school-board-level agendas to see if there's something you want to work on, having activist communities where a subset of people are there as part of their paid work and the rights and responsibilities that come with that can help keep things on the rails (but this is maybe not right for you because of your teacher burnout).
posted by momus_window at 11:13 AM on April 11, 2022 [6 favorites]
most PTA and consult-driven DEI projects are not activist in the way I think you mean. They are political, which you are well advised to avoid. We are at a school that sounds very similar to yours, and if you actually meet people and find out what’s happening, it turns out the actual issues people care about are far removed from what the PTA and consultants do. What I’d say is that you should pick one concrete thing that you personally think would make a difference, and put your energy into that. From that, any political needs will emerge rather naturally as you learn more and gain more connections and information.
When you pick your “one thing,” make sure it’s something you can do by yourself or are sure that an existing group of volunteers can do. It might be as simple as joining a school grounds committee and picking up garbage twice a week. Or, you can just be the person who puts her hand up whenever the PTA is looking for the bake sale mom/dad. One pitfall with school volunteering is when an over-zealous parent is pushing a pet project that would require school or PTA resources that nobody has agreed to yet. Projects have to be sustainable and have buy-in — just because “it would be great for the school” doesn’t mean much.
posted by haptic_avenger at 12:35 PM on April 11, 2022 [2 favorites]
When you pick your “one thing,” make sure it’s something you can do by yourself or are sure that an existing group of volunteers can do. It might be as simple as joining a school grounds committee and picking up garbage twice a week. Or, you can just be the person who puts her hand up whenever the PTA is looking for the bake sale mom/dad. One pitfall with school volunteering is when an over-zealous parent is pushing a pet project that would require school or PTA resources that nobody has agreed to yet. Projects have to be sustainable and have buy-in — just because “it would be great for the school” doesn’t mean much.
posted by haptic_avenger at 12:35 PM on April 11, 2022 [2 favorites]
Hey! I hear you loud and clear! I've served on the PTA and my spouse is serving on the PTA. So, a couple of things. Serving well on a grassroots level is exhausting. Lots of heavy lifts. Arguably, important lifts. Lifts that, frankly, nobody wants to pick up. Issues that can be influential/impactful for kids. The kids don't really have a voice while being the subject of policy. So, it is a very good but hard thing to serve. There are many, many, many, many people who sit on the sidelines and will comment on the work being done. This makes it even more difficult. "If you would like to do this work, I could use the help!" However, in my experience, there are a handful of people who jump in. Who spend the time and try to work through the issue at hand.
Politics are going to remain heated for the indefinite future. The question is: is this work meaningful enough for your family and the community for you to sacrifice to do it? It could be. It might not be.
Sometimes the scope of the work is daunting and understanding. Progress is incremental and doesn't always feel so great. But it matters. My spouse worked on long-term restructuring of the 501c4 status into a 501c3 status. About 2 years. Nobody was jumping up to lend a hand. She slowly put together the materials needed. Now, because of the 501c3 status, contributions are tax deductible for the first time! Our primary fundraiser did 9x our best fundraising total. Those funds are earmarked to teacher innovation grants. So her work, I hope, I going to lead to hiring talented new teachers and retaining those amazing folks we have while providing great educational opportunities to the kids.
I mention this story because it is the nature of this sort of volunteer work. While it is not always simple, the outcome can be amazing.
We are are both involved with DEI work via our district's SEED program. Our area has some pretty wealthy conservative people whose national efforts you would recognize as regressive, racist and terrible. They have the money but won't actually spend against the issues but won't spend any time. We are the converse. In this case, time has a pretty good chance to overcome money.
Regardless, your voice and actions matter, whether at the PTA or in another format. Where can you do the most good? I wish you luck.
posted by zerobyproxy at 1:25 PM on April 11, 2022 [1 favorite]
Politics are going to remain heated for the indefinite future. The question is: is this work meaningful enough for your family and the community for you to sacrifice to do it? It could be. It might not be.
Sometimes the scope of the work is daunting and understanding. Progress is incremental and doesn't always feel so great. But it matters. My spouse worked on long-term restructuring of the 501c4 status into a 501c3 status. About 2 years. Nobody was jumping up to lend a hand. She slowly put together the materials needed. Now, because of the 501c3 status, contributions are tax deductible for the first time! Our primary fundraiser did 9x our best fundraising total. Those funds are earmarked to teacher innovation grants. So her work, I hope, I going to lead to hiring talented new teachers and retaining those amazing folks we have while providing great educational opportunities to the kids.
I mention this story because it is the nature of this sort of volunteer work. While it is not always simple, the outcome can be amazing.
We are are both involved with DEI work via our district's SEED program. Our area has some pretty wealthy conservative people whose national efforts you would recognize as regressive, racist and terrible. They have the money but won't actually spend against the issues but won't spend any time. We are the converse. In this case, time has a pretty good chance to overcome money.
Regardless, your voice and actions matter, whether at the PTA or in another format. Where can you do the most good? I wish you luck.
posted by zerobyproxy at 1:25 PM on April 11, 2022 [1 favorite]
now have a slightly allergic reaction to anything school/teaching related.
You might decide that you would rather spend your time helping people who are economically disadvantaged in programs that are not tied to the schools at all. I do taxes through VITA Tax Aide and we mainly serve people over 65 or those with low income. Taxes probably seem like a hot spot for politics, and we do get comments, but everyone knows we have no power there. Food shelves, Meals on Wheels, other errand support for the elderly are all helpful and likely much less political.
posted by soelo at 1:51 PM on April 11, 2022 [2 favorites]
You might decide that you would rather spend your time helping people who are economically disadvantaged in programs that are not tied to the schools at all. I do taxes through VITA Tax Aide and we mainly serve people over 65 or those with low income. Taxes probably seem like a hot spot for politics, and we do get comments, but everyone knows we have no power there. Food shelves, Meals on Wheels, other errand support for the elderly are all helpful and likely much less political.
posted by soelo at 1:51 PM on April 11, 2022 [2 favorites]
now have a slightly allergic reaction to anything school/teaching related.
Understandable. I'm not sure if this is relevant where you are but you might be able to do something that helped the community in general like offering to be on the board of the public library if there is a local one. You can help work with the staff to create a more accessible inclusive library and in many places in the US this is a place, in addition to schools, where there have been problems. It's also a nice way to get to know the community and the workload is rarely onerous. It may be that the library is fine and the collection is diverse, the building in accessible and the programming is diverse. But maybe not and it's worth seeing if there might be ways to help.
posted by jessamyn at 2:00 PM on April 11, 2022
Understandable. I'm not sure if this is relevant where you are but you might be able to do something that helped the community in general like offering to be on the board of the public library if there is a local one. You can help work with the staff to create a more accessible inclusive library and in many places in the US this is a place, in addition to schools, where there have been problems. It's also a nice way to get to know the community and the workload is rarely onerous. It may be that the library is fine and the collection is diverse, the building in accessible and the programming is diverse. But maybe not and it's worth seeing if there might be ways to help.
posted by jessamyn at 2:00 PM on April 11, 2022
Don’t do the PTA thing because it’s stressing you out. Find another community group and devote your energy there.
posted by bluedaisy at 2:08 PM on April 11, 2022
posted by bluedaisy at 2:08 PM on April 11, 2022
Are there groups working locally on climate change issues? Youth focused groups like Sunrise Movement might also be worth checking out and supporting, they will be school-adjacent but not actually part of the school system.
Do you have one buddy or a few buddies you would feel like you could organize an event at the local library about a topic near and dear to you. Based on your profile you are Chicago-ish, so you might be able to invite potential speakers from community advocacy groups from the city. I recommend this as a way to cast a wider net to see who else might want to be active in your area.
How allergic are you to public meetings in general? Can you go to city council meetings (or at least skim through the agendas/minutes) and figure out what a potential lever is for action locally? I freely admit that I went to my neighborhood board meetings with a disguised vodka-lemonade cocktail in hand in order to make it through the agony of actual democratic spaces. I'm a community planner by training and gah, the community is often comprised of people who make me tear my hair out.
posted by spamandkimchi at 3:51 PM on April 11, 2022
Do you have one buddy or a few buddies you would feel like you could organize an event at the local library about a topic near and dear to you. Based on your profile you are Chicago-ish, so you might be able to invite potential speakers from community advocacy groups from the city. I recommend this as a way to cast a wider net to see who else might want to be active in your area.
How allergic are you to public meetings in general? Can you go to city council meetings (or at least skim through the agendas/minutes) and figure out what a potential lever is for action locally? I freely admit that I went to my neighborhood board meetings with a disguised vodka-lemonade cocktail in hand in order to make it through the agony of actual democratic spaces. I'm a community planner by training and gah, the community is often comprised of people who make me tear my hair out.
posted by spamandkimchi at 3:51 PM on April 11, 2022
Popping back in: have you considered grant writing?
posted by jennypower at 12:50 PM on April 19, 2022
posted by jennypower at 12:50 PM on April 19, 2022
This thread is closed to new comments.
I would suggest contacting the guidance counselor and asking how you may be able to help. In my school we have needs for: food donations, coat donations, clothing for nurses' office, materials for flexible seating (huge demand for this), playground equipment, classroom snacks replenished regularly. We need volunteers at the library, the playground, guest readers, room parents, chaperones. (Though in COVID volunteers were limited). When possible I send in extra cash for kids to buy books at the bookfair, or to cover another student's field trip fees, or cover a gift in the holiday gift exchange. Sometimes we need a translator.
These all boil down to time, money, or signal boosting from you. In my school, the guidance office knows all these little gaps and will happily point you in the right direction.
posted by jennypower at 10:39 AM on April 11, 2022 [3 favorites]