Newly single, COVID cautious
April 3, 2022 6:04 AM Subscribe
I'm newly single. My ex had a preexisting condition, and so I've been incredibly cautious and have been only hanging out with her indoors for the majority of the pandemic. Help me figure out the right amount of COVID cautiousness for just me.
I am 31, healthy, no preexisting conditions. However, I take the risk of long COVID seriously because I am single and live alone; I cannot afford to not be able to work for an extended period of time. I work in an office where people have to be vaccinated, but are generally not masking. I mask at work and in any public indoor spaces, and will continue to do so.
I do not want to hang out with nobody indoors. The rest of my friend group is vaccinated and fairly cautious, but most people have on occasion done one or two things that I wouldn't like eating indoors, going to crowded indoor events, etc.
How do I decide what I'm comfortable doing? Do I just hang out indoors with people I trust and hope that they've already told me about any risky behaviors? Ask for rapid tests before hanging out? How are my fellow singles living alone handling this sort of decision making at this point in the pandemic?
I am 31, healthy, no preexisting conditions. However, I take the risk of long COVID seriously because I am single and live alone; I cannot afford to not be able to work for an extended period of time. I work in an office where people have to be vaccinated, but are generally not masking. I mask at work and in any public indoor spaces, and will continue to do so.
I do not want to hang out with nobody indoors. The rest of my friend group is vaccinated and fairly cautious, but most people have on occasion done one or two things that I wouldn't like eating indoors, going to crowded indoor events, etc.
How do I decide what I'm comfortable doing? Do I just hang out indoors with people I trust and hope that they've already told me about any risky behaviors? Ask for rapid tests before hanging out? How are my fellow singles living alone handling this sort of decision making at this point in the pandemic?
Matt's experience aligns with mine: people running all over NYC without masks and just accepting the covid risk.
The good news is: it's April. You can put together a very credible social life for the next 6 months by going to parks, baseball games, sculpture gardens, flea markets, rooftop bars, beaches, Shakespeare in the Park, movies in Bryant park, bike rides, fishing, sailing, etc. Hopefully the situation will look more hopeful by the time we have to come inside again.
posted by apparently at 7:07 AM on April 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
The good news is: it's April. You can put together a very credible social life for the next 6 months by going to parks, baseball games, sculpture gardens, flea markets, rooftop bars, beaches, Shakespeare in the Park, movies in Bryant park, bike rides, fishing, sailing, etc. Hopefully the situation will look more hopeful by the time we have to come inside again.
posted by apparently at 7:07 AM on April 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
I wear a mask almost all of the time indoors. I take it off to eat in indoor settings. I probably should not do that, mind you. If you have your 95 mask on, you can pretty much do life as normal without asking everyone to test or tell you what they have been up to.
I suspect asking people to test before seeing you is very January 2022 now. Not sure if you can socially get away with it or require it now.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:18 AM on April 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
I suspect asking people to test before seeing you is very January 2022 now. Not sure if you can socially get away with it or require it now.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:18 AM on April 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
We're at the point of the pandemic where we are getting solid evidence that getting covid can give you brain damage, as per https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-022-04569-5
Wearing a N95 with goggles, or better yet a N100 respirator should give you good protection in a well ventilated room.
Outdoor activities when there is a decent breeze and not crowded should be fine. Sitting in Shakespeare in the park maskless would be dangerous, picnic outdoors with lots of space away from others not in your group, and some distance between people in your group is likely ok.
Your work poses a danger, hopefully you can put in a few Corsi-Rosenthal boxes in your area.
posted by Sophont at 7:34 AM on April 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Wearing a N95 with goggles, or better yet a N100 respirator should give you good protection in a well ventilated room.
Outdoor activities when there is a decent breeze and not crowded should be fine. Sitting in Shakespeare in the park maskless would be dangerous, picnic outdoors with lots of space away from others not in your group, and some distance between people in your group is likely ok.
Your work poses a danger, hopefully you can put in a few Corsi-Rosenthal boxes in your area.
posted by Sophont at 7:34 AM on April 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
Best answer: How do I decide what I'm comfortable doing?
Well, a huge part of this question is what you are asking: how do you choose your own risk tolerance? The people at microcovid.org commented in their GitHub that people see a number of risk (let's say, 0.1%) for an event, and they don't have context to meaningfully distinguish that from events that are a higher number (say, 1.0%). In people's heads, those are abstract numbers.
So, to help narrow it down, you can look at the effects and secondary effects of covid. Most people as healthy as you seem to not be worried about the minor symptoms themselves, but focus on the consequences of covid spread and long covid.
So, focus on those - how important are those factors? If unvaxxed people catch it, how much responsibility is yours at this point? If you get covid, will you take paxlovid right after a rapid test? What would that do to your chances of long covid?
Try to put a number, no matter how hard, on the chances you would be be happy about, annually, to get covid. I'm personally fine with 25% chance a year, but many of my peers believe that is immeasurably too high.
Then, when you are worried about covid, check microcovid.org for how dangerous something is. They fix uncertainty by assuming the worst, so their estimates are a little high - but at least they use science and local data.
Punch those things in to microcovid and you'll start to learn what's dangerous. One-on-one dates? Safer than you'd think. Large groups in small stuffy rooms, yelling? Dangerous.
And then... There's no wrong answer. So many of your peers will do nothing. That's not... wrong but it would be nice to put some rigor behind it to make sure it's an educated decision.
posted by bbqturtle at 7:41 AM on April 3, 2022 [9 favorites]
Well, a huge part of this question is what you are asking: how do you choose your own risk tolerance? The people at microcovid.org commented in their GitHub that people see a number of risk (let's say, 0.1%) for an event, and they don't have context to meaningfully distinguish that from events that are a higher number (say, 1.0%). In people's heads, those are abstract numbers.
So, to help narrow it down, you can look at the effects and secondary effects of covid. Most people as healthy as you seem to not be worried about the minor symptoms themselves, but focus on the consequences of covid spread and long covid.
So, focus on those - how important are those factors? If unvaxxed people catch it, how much responsibility is yours at this point? If you get covid, will you take paxlovid right after a rapid test? What would that do to your chances of long covid?
Try to put a number, no matter how hard, on the chances you would be be happy about, annually, to get covid. I'm personally fine with 25% chance a year, but many of my peers believe that is immeasurably too high.
Then, when you are worried about covid, check microcovid.org for how dangerous something is. They fix uncertainty by assuming the worst, so their estimates are a little high - but at least they use science and local data.
Punch those things in to microcovid and you'll start to learn what's dangerous. One-on-one dates? Safer than you'd think. Large groups in small stuffy rooms, yelling? Dangerous.
And then... There's no wrong answer. So many of your peers will do nothing. That's not... wrong but it would be nice to put some rigor behind it to make sure it's an educated decision.
posted by bbqturtle at 7:41 AM on April 3, 2022 [9 favorites]
I think you may need to think a little more how much you value social life and emotional health vs the actual risk to you of covid. It’s possible you are overestimating the risk of covid to yourself. It seems like your main realistic concern is having to be off of work while you recuperate. Realistically, it likely won’t be more than two weeks. Maybe you could make a plan for how to support yourself financially for two weeks off work. Because I think what most people in cities are thinking (whether they say it or not) is that getting covid is pretty much inevitable no matter how cautious you are, unless you’re willing and able to take measures that most people find emotionally unsustainable in the long term.
None of this is to say to completely throw caution to the wind - just to be more rigorous about assessing the actual costs and risks, not just using the worst case scenario.
posted by haptic_avenger at 8:13 AM on April 3, 2022 [10 favorites]
None of this is to say to completely throw caution to the wind - just to be more rigorous about assessing the actual costs and risks, not just using the worst case scenario.
posted by haptic_avenger at 8:13 AM on April 3, 2022 [10 favorites]
I am single and live alone and work from home. I take COVID seriously (and have not had it yet!) but I am significantly less risk-averse about it than you are.
One thing I find useful is to think about the risk of other activities I participate in regularly (and also to try to treat COVID mitigation strategies similarly to the way I treat the ways I mitigate other risks!).
Like, I drive, and ski, and ride a bicycle. I take precautions when I do all of those things! I wear a helmet when I ski or bike and a seatbelt when I drive. There are certain intersections or areas I avoid when I drive because they either are (based on actual data) or feel particularly dangerous. I keep my car/bike/ski equipment in good working order. I don't bike on the highway. I don't go backcountry skiing alone (some people do! for me the risk-to-reward ratio is not where I would need it to be).
I also am less cautious about what I eat than some people are, especialy MeFites... Like, I know that precut cantaloupe is a major source of salmonella poisoning but I LOVE cantaloupe so I eat it anyway. I eat cookie dough. I eat sushi and steak tartare and raw shellfish. I actually used a gallon of milk after I accidentally left it out on the counter overnight, which maybe destroys my "not terrible at risk assessment" cred entirely (my rationale was that the milk was unopened and UHT pasteurized and I was using it right away).
I drink alcohol, and once in a very great while I get really drunk. This is objectively bad for me! There is no guaranteed-safe consumption level for alcohol.
Anyway, my COVID risk tolerance is, I think, working out pretty similar to my risk tolerance for other things. I am willing to take COVID-related risks for sufficient reward. For me, that means singing (masked) in large choirs; occasional indoor restaurant dining; doing public indoor activities like museums/concerts/shopping in a mask; unmasked gatherings with family/friends (even though I know the kids are all in school and just bathing in germs).
And, for those of us living alone, the risks of loneliness are very real too!
Well-respected longitudinal studies suggest that loneliness and social isolation are risk factors for heart disease and stroke, among other things. So it's really worth making sure you have ways to connect with people within your COVID risk tolerance (probably even if that means doing slightly riskier things than you would do if avoiding COVID was your sole consideration).
posted by mskyle at 8:29 AM on April 3, 2022 [15 favorites]
One thing I find useful is to think about the risk of other activities I participate in regularly (and also to try to treat COVID mitigation strategies similarly to the way I treat the ways I mitigate other risks!).
Like, I drive, and ski, and ride a bicycle. I take precautions when I do all of those things! I wear a helmet when I ski or bike and a seatbelt when I drive. There are certain intersections or areas I avoid when I drive because they either are (based on actual data) or feel particularly dangerous. I keep my car/bike/ski equipment in good working order. I don't bike on the highway. I don't go backcountry skiing alone (some people do! for me the risk-to-reward ratio is not where I would need it to be).
I also am less cautious about what I eat than some people are, especialy MeFites... Like, I know that precut cantaloupe is a major source of salmonella poisoning but I LOVE cantaloupe so I eat it anyway. I eat cookie dough. I eat sushi and steak tartare and raw shellfish. I actually used a gallon of milk after I accidentally left it out on the counter overnight, which maybe destroys my "not terrible at risk assessment" cred entirely (my rationale was that the milk was unopened and UHT pasteurized and I was using it right away).
I drink alcohol, and once in a very great while I get really drunk. This is objectively bad for me! There is no guaranteed-safe consumption level for alcohol.
Anyway, my COVID risk tolerance is, I think, working out pretty similar to my risk tolerance for other things. I am willing to take COVID-related risks for sufficient reward. For me, that means singing (masked) in large choirs; occasional indoor restaurant dining; doing public indoor activities like museums/concerts/shopping in a mask; unmasked gatherings with family/friends (even though I know the kids are all in school and just bathing in germs).
And, for those of us living alone, the risks of loneliness are very real too!
Well-respected longitudinal studies suggest that loneliness and social isolation are risk factors for heart disease and stroke, among other things. So it's really worth making sure you have ways to connect with people within your COVID risk tolerance (probably even if that means doing slightly riskier things than you would do if avoiding COVID was your sole consideration).
posted by mskyle at 8:29 AM on April 3, 2022 [15 favorites]
Why not start small with one or two friends you can have frank conversations with about this, who you trust to tell you about their activities, and see what it feels like to see them indoors sometimes? I'm pretty cautious but I have a friend I see very regularly for indoors, unmasked, really wonderful normal-feeling hangouts. We know each other's baseline risk levels and if one of us makes a significant change from those, we talk about that and the other person decides if they are cool with it or if we should take a week or two off and/or test before seeing each other again.
I do still test before seeing her but only because I test once a week anyway for my own peace of mind, so it's easy enough to just plan that for before our weekly evening together. She mostly doesn't test but if I ask her to as an alternative to skipping a week of seeing each other, she cheerfully does.
I'm by nature a homebody introvert not terribly interested in seeing more than one person regularly anyway, so this is very little sacrifice for me, and I'm not suggesting that you or anyone else should keep up this level of isolation while community spread is fairly low and good masks and testing are fairly available. But I do think that while you're trying to calibrate yourself it might be a good place to start. You don't have to commit to big indoor parties or restaurants right now - you can just start small with a few people you trust, try out a few activities with higher risk exposure, see how each thing makes you feel, and pause whenever you feel like you've found the level of risk exposure that feels right for you balanced against your social and mental health needs.
posted by Stacey at 9:30 AM on April 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
I do still test before seeing her but only because I test once a week anyway for my own peace of mind, so it's easy enough to just plan that for before our weekly evening together. She mostly doesn't test but if I ask her to as an alternative to skipping a week of seeing each other, she cheerfully does.
I'm by nature a homebody introvert not terribly interested in seeing more than one person regularly anyway, so this is very little sacrifice for me, and I'm not suggesting that you or anyone else should keep up this level of isolation while community spread is fairly low and good masks and testing are fairly available. But I do think that while you're trying to calibrate yourself it might be a good place to start. You don't have to commit to big indoor parties or restaurants right now - you can just start small with a few people you trust, try out a few activities with higher risk exposure, see how each thing makes you feel, and pause whenever you feel like you've found the level of risk exposure that feels right for you balanced against your social and mental health needs.
posted by Stacey at 9:30 AM on April 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
Best answer: The way I'm thinking about it: other than in big surge periods, the odds that one given person has COVID are fairly low. So I will hang out with most friends unmasked indoors in small groups. There are some I won't because they eat out all the time or if they just got back from a trip etc. But otherwise I know they're vaccinated and will stay home if they have symptoms. The same is not true of random strangers, which is why I avoid restaurants or events like concerts with a lot of people.
posted by metasarah at 9:37 AM on April 3, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by metasarah at 9:37 AM on April 3, 2022 [7 favorites]
Disclaimer: Me and my friend circle took COVID seriously and have been cautious compared to the average Americans, but less cautious compared to the average Metafilter user.
As to these questions:
Do I just hang out indoors with people I trust and hope that they've already told me about any risky behaviors? Ask for rapid tests before hanging out?
I would not assume this about anyone. Right now I am seeing a range in my friends - some are basically back to normal, while others are only being indoors/unmasked with 1-3 friends. I would talk to anybody you plan to spend time with unmasked indoors to learn what they are currently doing, and I'd have that conversation every 2 weeks. I would not ask for rapid tests - I think most people would find this off-putting at this point, unless you're offering to pay and procure them. I also wouldn't worry about offending people over making rules with certain friends that you will only hang out with them outdoors or indoor + masked. If they are your friends and not assholes, they'll understand that everyone has slightly different risk tolerances, and that's ok.
Finally, I'll recommend again following this Twitter account of a vaccine researcher (who worked on a COVID vaccine). I have found them good at making dense scientific papers accessible, but they don't over-simplify things either - some of their threads have been quite extensive, and they respond well to questions that lay people ask them. They take COVID seriously, but also are critical of when the media over-hypes risks, which I find helpful.
posted by coffeecat at 9:47 AM on April 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
As to these questions:
Do I just hang out indoors with people I trust and hope that they've already told me about any risky behaviors? Ask for rapid tests before hanging out?
I would not assume this about anyone. Right now I am seeing a range in my friends - some are basically back to normal, while others are only being indoors/unmasked with 1-3 friends. I would talk to anybody you plan to spend time with unmasked indoors to learn what they are currently doing, and I'd have that conversation every 2 weeks. I would not ask for rapid tests - I think most people would find this off-putting at this point, unless you're offering to pay and procure them. I also wouldn't worry about offending people over making rules with certain friends that you will only hang out with them outdoors or indoor + masked. If they are your friends and not assholes, they'll understand that everyone has slightly different risk tolerances, and that's ok.
Finally, I'll recommend again following this Twitter account of a vaccine researcher (who worked on a COVID vaccine). I have found them good at making dense scientific papers accessible, but they don't over-simplify things either - some of their threads have been quite extensive, and they respond well to questions that lay people ask them. They take COVID seriously, but also are critical of when the media over-hypes risks, which I find helpful.
posted by coffeecat at 9:47 AM on April 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
I’m single but with teens so not in total control of my exposure. I’m working sometimes at work again, masked when I’m not alone in my office with the window open. I’ve eaten indoors a few times, mostly in very breezy places, but generally I am letting folks know that I will be glad to meet them for a drink or meal outside. Eating indoors feels like the riskiest activity. I haven’t had anyone object to having a drink or coffee outside, including over the winter. You just have to dress for it. One friend sometimes fusses but ultimately understands.
I am inside with some friends without masks at each other’s houses. We don’t have extended conversations each time, especially with folks who I have been hanging out with throughout.
I do have one friend where we’ve taken rapid tests before being indoors together, and they’re fine with that.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:16 PM on April 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
I am inside with some friends without masks at each other’s houses. We don’t have extended conversations each time, especially with folks who I have been hanging out with throughout.
I do have one friend where we’ve taken rapid tests before being indoors together, and they’re fine with that.
posted by bluedaisy at 12:16 PM on April 3, 2022 [2 favorites]
I’ve been doing lots of hangouts at my house with folks, but only after we rapid test. We get 5 free home rapid tests per month in my province. And I’m still wearing n95 masks at stores and not eating in restaurants. I think it’s fair to be concerned about long Covid and to be cautious about avoiding transmission when community numbers are high.
posted by congen at 12:28 PM on April 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by congen at 12:28 PM on April 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
You are newly single, consider that many people have had to confront the reality of their social needs as a human vs. their risk tolerance much earlier into the pandemic than now. And lots of people do not have a high degree of control over their interactions and have to accept a certain amount of risk in other areas of their life (work, school, etc) especially 2 years+ into this. But right now, it has never been safer to resume social life if you are vaccinated. I can understand not wanting to rush out to a crowded concert, but where I live, doing so is pretty low risk. That's not the same thing as no risk, but as you're finding out, being single and slowly going crazy alone in your apartment isn't very sustainable either.
At this point I think about it like the risk of driving: awful to contemplate the worst case scenario, but not worth cutting myself off from the world over. If I'm drinking, I take a cab - if I'm in a crowd, I wear a mask. The perceived risk of covid, much less fear of rare side effects, is not worth the real damage to my mental health. And part of that for me is not obsessing over everyone else's "risky behavior", everyone is doing the best they can! I was super cautious and still caught (mild) covid! I was fine just like all the statistics said, you will probably not be an outlier either.
Decide what level of risk you can accept and live your life. But I think even in my extremely liberal, covid cautious area the time for heart-to-heart outdoor chats about pandemic bubbles and requiring tests to see friends is pretty much over. I've only been required to get tested in a work context for a while now. Unless there is another wave or variant, we are as close to the "endemic" stage as we're likely to get. It is a risk but it is manageable to have a normal life.
posted by bradbane at 12:56 PM on April 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
At this point I think about it like the risk of driving: awful to contemplate the worst case scenario, but not worth cutting myself off from the world over. If I'm drinking, I take a cab - if I'm in a crowd, I wear a mask. The perceived risk of covid, much less fear of rare side effects, is not worth the real damage to my mental health. And part of that for me is not obsessing over everyone else's "risky behavior", everyone is doing the best they can! I was super cautious and still caught (mild) covid! I was fine just like all the statistics said, you will probably not be an outlier either.
Decide what level of risk you can accept and live your life. But I think even in my extremely liberal, covid cautious area the time for heart-to-heart outdoor chats about pandemic bubbles and requiring tests to see friends is pretty much over. I've only been required to get tested in a work context for a while now. Unless there is another wave or variant, we are as close to the "endemic" stage as we're likely to get. It is a risk but it is manageable to have a normal life.
posted by bradbane at 12:56 PM on April 3, 2022 [4 favorites]
Best answer: I agree with some of what bradbane has said, but I do want to point out that this bit isn’t fully accurate, and the fact of its inaccuracy gets at the crux of the problem:
it has never been safer to resume social life if you are vaccinated
In fact, it was safer a year ago, in many locations, as soon as people were becoming fully vaccinated. Where I live, case rates then were much lower; precautions were still largely in place; and, pre-delta and omicron, vaccines were more effective and covid was much more difficult to transmit.
It feels like the world is safer now, to a lot of people, because time and exposure is desensitizing, because propagandizing about the supposed efficacy of personal responsibility has had another year to sink in, and because it is very difficult to adjust to the idea that the world may be permanently more dangerous for many, many years.
I really sympathize with your situation. I haven’t had the same life change, but I am trying to figure out what new level of danger is acceptable to me, and how responsible I feel to the more vulnerable members of my community.
For what it’s worth, I am still only seeing friends unmasked if outside. I have been toying with the idea of an unmasked hang if people test beforehand; contrary to others here, I don’t think this is excessive, and I would be hesitant to even want to see someone indoors unmasked if they balked at such a reasonable request. I also pay close attention to case counts, wastewater data, and hospital numbers, and am willing to do more crowded activities (masked) right now than I was two months ago, or probably will be a month from now.
I also spend a lot of time repeating to myself that a KF94+vaccine, or breezy outdoors+vaccine, or testing+vaccine, are all good protections. And since those steps are, really, quite easy to take—and enable me to do many of my normal activities in a much safer way—why should I try to talk myself into not taking them?
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 4:49 PM on April 3, 2022 [11 favorites]
it has never been safer to resume social life if you are vaccinated
In fact, it was safer a year ago, in many locations, as soon as people were becoming fully vaccinated. Where I live, case rates then were much lower; precautions were still largely in place; and, pre-delta and omicron, vaccines were more effective and covid was much more difficult to transmit.
It feels like the world is safer now, to a lot of people, because time and exposure is desensitizing, because propagandizing about the supposed efficacy of personal responsibility has had another year to sink in, and because it is very difficult to adjust to the idea that the world may be permanently more dangerous for many, many years.
I really sympathize with your situation. I haven’t had the same life change, but I am trying to figure out what new level of danger is acceptable to me, and how responsible I feel to the more vulnerable members of my community.
For what it’s worth, I am still only seeing friends unmasked if outside. I have been toying with the idea of an unmasked hang if people test beforehand; contrary to others here, I don’t think this is excessive, and I would be hesitant to even want to see someone indoors unmasked if they balked at such a reasonable request. I also pay close attention to case counts, wastewater data, and hospital numbers, and am willing to do more crowded activities (masked) right now than I was two months ago, or probably will be a month from now.
I also spend a lot of time repeating to myself that a KF94+vaccine, or breezy outdoors+vaccine, or testing+vaccine, are all good protections. And since those steps are, really, quite easy to take—and enable me to do many of my normal activities in a much safer way—why should I try to talk myself into not taking them?
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 4:49 PM on April 3, 2022 [11 favorites]
If your primary concern is long covid, it might be helpful to know that there is some evidence that being vaccinated will reduce your risk of long covid. It is also possible that long covid correlates with the viral load you are exposed to. There is also anecdata that you can reduce your risk of long covid by basically being a couch potato for the 6 weeks after you get covid. Will any of this turn out to be true? I don't know, but if I were a 31 and single, I would go ahead and live my life, but avoid indoor places where I could get a massive viral load.
posted by luckdragon at 5:52 PM on April 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by luckdragon at 5:52 PM on April 3, 2022 [3 favorites]
I'm not going to tell you what to do, but, since we're of similar age, I thought I'd say something about the current social mores, as I've experienced them.
First thing is to say that Mefites are far more Covid-cautious than the overall population.
Secondly, the current way things seem to be, at least around me, is that Covid precautions have become a purely personal and private matter. What that means is that, while the majority of people take essentially no precautions at all, a substantial minority continue to wear masks, or to avoid indoor or crowded settings, and it is seen as normal and acceptable for them to make those choices for themselves. However, it is now generally seen as out-of-line to impose upon or try to influence other people's covid choices - you really don't ask others to wear masks themselves, to rapid-test before meeting up with you, or to divulge their other contacts and habits.
I'll also add, as a final, purely social, note, that many people are hugely burnt out about Covid as a conversation topic, and don't want to discuss it, at all, for any reason.
posted by kickingtheground at 8:23 PM on April 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
First thing is to say that Mefites are far more Covid-cautious than the overall population.
Secondly, the current way things seem to be, at least around me, is that Covid precautions have become a purely personal and private matter. What that means is that, while the majority of people take essentially no precautions at all, a substantial minority continue to wear masks, or to avoid indoor or crowded settings, and it is seen as normal and acceptable for them to make those choices for themselves. However, it is now generally seen as out-of-line to impose upon or try to influence other people's covid choices - you really don't ask others to wear masks themselves, to rapid-test before meeting up with you, or to divulge their other contacts and habits.
I'll also add, as a final, purely social, note, that many people are hugely burnt out about Covid as a conversation topic, and don't want to discuss it, at all, for any reason.
posted by kickingtheground at 8:23 PM on April 3, 2022 [6 favorites]
It's pretty obvious, I guess, but the amount of disease in your area is a huge factor. I do the math this way. In my city, the number of officially confirmed new cases per day is about 10. Each person was infected by someone who was contagious for about 4 days, and who infected only one person. So the 10/day number suggests about 40 people are contagious. Since a lot of cases are not getting caught in the official statistics, we want to increase that to, say, 100 cases in a city of 130,000 people. So the chance of running into one is pretty small.
OTOH, the number is actually increasing from 10 to 20. That may mean that a "b2" surge is coming. In the Omicron surge, it got to 450 cases/day. The same math that means there could be 4500 contagious people, and they will be more concentrated in folks who are out and about.
As a practical matter, for the next couple months, you will be evaluating risk anew for each event. After a little while, you will have a pretty good idea of your limits.
posted by SemiSalt at 6:29 AM on April 4, 2022
OTOH, the number is actually increasing from 10 to 20. That may mean that a "b2" surge is coming. In the Omicron surge, it got to 450 cases/day. The same math that means there could be 4500 contagious people, and they will be more concentrated in folks who are out and about.
As a practical matter, for the next couple months, you will be evaluating risk anew for each event. After a little while, you will have a pretty good idea of your limits.
posted by SemiSalt at 6:29 AM on April 4, 2022
However, it is now generally seen as out-of-line to impose upon or try to influence other people's covid choices - you really don't ask others to wear masks themselves, to rapid-test before meeting up with you, or to divulge their other contacts and habits.
This is probably something that varies social group-to-social group - I would not take the slightest offense at being asked to mask up, and I would happily take a rapid test before meeting up with someone (with the caveat that I have insurance and I make sure to get my eight free tests a month - I think if there's any risk that the person doesn't have access to testing you need to be sensitive around this). And I would think that someone who didn't want to mask up or who made a big deal about it was being a dick (I mean, I guess with the exception of if they were asked to mask up by someone who'd already agreed to an activity that's difficult to do masked). I do think asking people to divulge their other contacts and habits is probably a step too far (partly because, as kickingtheground says, people are sick of talking about COVID).
In all honesty I might think a (non-immunocompromised) person was being extremely (or even overly) cautious if they made these requests (depending on the context), but I would do what I could to help them feel safe the same way I would make adaptations to my social plans for someone who hates driving at night or who's afraid to take the bus.
posted by mskyle at 6:53 AM on April 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
This is probably something that varies social group-to-social group - I would not take the slightest offense at being asked to mask up, and I would happily take a rapid test before meeting up with someone (with the caveat that I have insurance and I make sure to get my eight free tests a month - I think if there's any risk that the person doesn't have access to testing you need to be sensitive around this). And I would think that someone who didn't want to mask up or who made a big deal about it was being a dick (I mean, I guess with the exception of if they were asked to mask up by someone who'd already agreed to an activity that's difficult to do masked). I do think asking people to divulge their other contacts and habits is probably a step too far (partly because, as kickingtheground says, people are sick of talking about COVID).
In all honesty I might think a (non-immunocompromised) person was being extremely (or even overly) cautious if they made these requests (depending on the context), but I would do what I could to help them feel safe the same way I would make adaptations to my social plans for someone who hates driving at night or who's afraid to take the bus.
posted by mskyle at 6:53 AM on April 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
In case it's helpful, I'm mainly going out infrequently, and avoiding crowded places. But otherwise I will go out for a meal or a drink. This usually means avoiding Friday and Saturday nights. I'll also go into people's houses and chat. But I can work from home, so that means that I'm able to avoid more mundane contacts.
In terms of risk, lots of people I know have had Covid in 2022. None of them have gotten very sick. This matches with the population statistics where I live. There have been 2 large spikes in cases in 2022, but the number of deaths showed a bump not a spike. This might be as good as it gets.
posted by plonkee at 1:40 AM on April 5, 2022
In terms of risk, lots of people I know have had Covid in 2022. None of them have gotten very sick. This matches with the population statistics where I live. There have been 2 large spikes in cases in 2022, but the number of deaths showed a bump not a spike. This might be as good as it gets.
posted by plonkee at 1:40 AM on April 5, 2022
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posted by MattD at 6:39 AM on April 3, 2022 [6 favorites]