Help me start a social group for family members of people in cults?

August 21, 2021 8:37 PM

I'm thinking of making a version of thedinnerparty.org/, an org for people who've lost family members, but for people with family members in cults, and/or former cult members themselves. Seeking advice, and also perhaps cofounder(s).

I have a sister who’s been in a cult for 20 years, and I would like to start an organization that connects people in similar situations in a social way.

I’m looking for:
- advice on how to do this,
- people who might want to help organize this,
- &/or info about whether something like this already exists

I am now based in Los Angeles and would love to work towards something local, but would consider working with anyone who’s interested.

I have some experience starting an org as a founder of an art venue in Toronto. I am now a writer and coder.

posted by skwt to Human Relations (5 answers total)

My immediate family left the fabricated minority denomination I now know to be a cult when I was little but the rest of the family are still believers and the impact has been lasting, and I've gone through a few intense phases of connecting with other survivors outside my family, reading up on other cults and cult survivors, and listening to the growing number of podcasts about cults.

There are many ex-cult-member organizations, mostly for specific ones. Many exist entirely online, some have local group meetings. A term you'll find useful in your search is "survivors", as in "cult survivors" or "[specific cult name] survivors". A lot of current discussion happens on social media like Facebook and TikTok, too--look for tags like #cult, #excult, #culttok, or just the cult's name--and be prepared to make critical decisions about whether you're seeing someone's genuine story or a social media performance (or even an obscure meme).

From my personal experience with all of the above, some things to keep in mind:

- Do you want your group to be purely support? Do you want to provide assistance to help current members escape and recover? If the latter, please engage with mental health professionals and larger organizations--you can't safely do this on your own. Either way you'll want to build a strong library of resources for support and recovery to direct people to.

- There are similarities across different cults, but a lot of differences, too: someone who lost family in Heaven's Gate or Jonestown has a very different experience vs. an ex-Scientologist vs. someone who survived Children of God vs. someone who escaped NXIVM vs. someone who was raised FLDS vs. someone who left the Jehovah's Witnesses or LDS church vs. someone who was a member of the same "church" as the Duggar family, etc. Do you want your group to be open to all? If not, what do you want it to focus on?

- If you raised any eyebrow at any of the organizations above being considered cults, well, know that that's a hot topic right now. If your group is going to be open to all survivors, be prepared to moderate that discourse accordingly.

- Please think critically about your own motivations, and what you want to get out of this, so you're not unintentionally causing additional harm to folks who are already in a vulnerable place.
posted by rhiannonstone at 11:17 AM on August 22, 2021

I want to add that you need to consult with a 1st Amendement lawyer (they are the ones who end up dealing with these cults.) Cults can be both litigious and vicious. Well funded organisations like Scientology have a policy of suing vocal critics into bankruptcy. It doesn't matter if you are in the right or are factual or whatever, that doesn't protect you from the legal costs of being sued. Scientology is the worst offender but my dad has experience defending critics against three of the organisations rhiannon names. My entire family has experience being targeted by one of them.

There are absolutely cult-specific support groups going, and you can find many of them on Facebook and Reddit.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:37 AM on August 22, 2021

The IndoctriNation podcast might have some helpful ideas.
posted by EllaEm at 12:56 PM on August 22, 2021

Thanks for these thoughts, everyone
posted by skwt at 2:15 PM on August 22, 2021

WhatsApp or Slack or Facebook or Reddit might be appropriate tools for hosting such a group. Of course it's very possible some or all of them already actively are.
posted by Dansaman at 10:33 PM on August 23, 2021