Angry husband just vacated home - what to check for?
August 13, 2021 2:47 PM
How to best ensure a house is secure and nothing damaging is going to happen after a sneaky and angry resident departs?
My friend's soon-to-be-ex-husband finally vacated the home he'd overtaken. It and the furniture appeared to be in good condition, but she discovered that every window in the house was left unlocked (not normal at all - it's summer in a hot state, a/c is on 24/7). It's a nice place. What else should she check for? He's angry and sneaky and would enjoy seeing ostensibly innocuous tragedy befall her and/or the home.
Thanks all!
My friend's soon-to-be-ex-husband finally vacated the home he'd overtaken. It and the furniture appeared to be in good condition, but she discovered that every window in the house was left unlocked (not normal at all - it's summer in a hot state, a/c is on 24/7). It's a nice place. What else should she check for? He's angry and sneaky and would enjoy seeing ostensibly innocuous tragedy befall her and/or the home.
Thanks all!
Change the locks. Now. Right now. Get some kind of additional locks on the windows. Get an alarm of some kind, if at all possible.
Figure out a way to prevent access to turning on any kind of water in the yard (hoses, fountains, etc.) because a hose left running long enough can cause structural damage.
Get cameras set up to keep an eye on the outside of the house.
posted by corey flood at 2:53 PM on August 13, 2021
Figure out a way to prevent access to turning on any kind of water in the yard (hoses, fountains, etc.) because a hose left running long enough can cause structural damage.
Get cameras set up to keep an eye on the outside of the house.
posted by corey flood at 2:53 PM on August 13, 2021
Yikes.
- Filters in place on HVAC, dryer, anything else that has a filter.
- Gas lines secure.
- No spyware on any computers, no mystery devices connected to wifi, set new wifi password, no physical spying devices anywhere.
- Take an electrical-outlet tester to every outlet. Observe whether anything unexpected is plugged into any of them. Inspect breaker box for anything out of place.
- Change all locks.
posted by adamrice at 2:53 PM on August 13, 2021
- Filters in place on HVAC, dryer, anything else that has a filter.
- Gas lines secure.
- No spyware on any computers, no mystery devices connected to wifi, set new wifi password, no physical spying devices anywhere.
- Take an electrical-outlet tester to every outlet. Observe whether anything unexpected is plugged into any of them. Inspect breaker box for anything out of place.
- Change all locks.
posted by adamrice at 2:53 PM on August 13, 2021
Check that the toilets flush, all the drains are not impeded.
Make sure the smoke / carbon monoxide detectors work and have batteries.
Check that the postal delivery has not been redirected for any important documents.
Confirm that no lien or loan has been taken out on the property.
posted by nickggully at 2:53 PM on August 13, 2021
Make sure the smoke / carbon monoxide detectors work and have batteries.
Check that the postal delivery has not been redirected for any important documents.
Confirm that no lien or loan has been taken out on the property.
posted by nickggully at 2:53 PM on August 13, 2021
Change any external locks.
Check whose names the bills are in and maybe speak to utilities about restricting how these can be changed (ie limit to householder.)
Consider replacing cheque books or credit cards they had access to. Check for missing cheques now. (Right to the back of the cheque book.)
Consider an alarm system if the place will be vacant.
I'm always reminded of the story with hiding prawns or something else that will rot and stick the place up. I guess it's worth checking the place to the extent that you can.
posted by biffa at 2:57 PM on August 13, 2021
Check whose names the bills are in and maybe speak to utilities about restricting how these can be changed (ie limit to householder.)
Consider replacing cheque books or credit cards they had access to. Check for missing cheques now. (Right to the back of the cheque book.)
Consider an alarm system if the place will be vacant.
I'm always reminded of the story with hiding prawns or something else that will rot and stick the place up. I guess it's worth checking the place to the extent that you can.
posted by biffa at 2:57 PM on August 13, 2021
If you have any Internet of Things things in the house, get rid of them if possible. If it's not possible, at least change all relevant passwords. A new router might well be a good idea, for that matter -- and secure the heck out of it once it's running.
Nthing CHANGE THE LOCKS.
posted by humbug at 3:03 PM on August 13, 2021
Nthing CHANGE THE LOCKS.
posted by humbug at 3:03 PM on August 13, 2021
Get a home security system like SimpliSafe. I had to get one in a similar situation and it saved my life. They sent it express to me when I told them the situation, so she could possibly have it tomorrow or the next day.
posted by twelve cent archie at 3:05 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by twelve cent archie at 3:05 PM on August 13, 2021
Note that "change the locks" doesn't need a locksmith; you should be able to replace the doorknob or deadbolt assembly with a phillips screwdriver and a trip to the local hardware store to buy parts, they may not all be keyed the same or look the same, but they won't work with any existing keys out there.
posted by AzraelBrown at 3:06 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by AzraelBrown at 3:06 PM on August 13, 2021
If garage is attached to house (or even if not), disable automatic garage door opener.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 3:09 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by TWinbrook8 at 3:09 PM on August 13, 2021
If she’s comfortable, maybe give a neighbor a heads-up as to what’s going on so they can contact her if need be (in addition to all the excellent advice above).
posted by namemeansgazelle at 3:24 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by namemeansgazelle at 3:24 PM on August 13, 2021
This seems like a great question for Operation Safe Escape/Go Ask Rose, an organization of cyber and physical security professionals dedicated to helping people escape abusive situations. More info here: https://safeescape.org/
posted by WidgetAlley at 3:39 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by WidgetAlley at 3:39 PM on August 13, 2021
Oops, that's the volunteer side. Here's the "I need help side": https://goaskrose.com/
posted by WidgetAlley at 3:40 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by WidgetAlley at 3:40 PM on August 13, 2021
Get a reading immediately on all utilities. He may have been trying to run up the bills.
posted by jamjam at 3:40 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by jamjam at 3:40 PM on August 13, 2021
Have your friend put a freeze on all of her credit reports. You have to do each of them individually, (experian, equifax, and trans union) but it’s well worth the effort.
posted by jquinby at 3:58 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by jquinby at 3:58 PM on August 13, 2021
I'm always reminded of the story with hiding prawns or something else that will rot and stick the place up. I guess it's worth checking the place to the extent that you can.
Yeah, my mind went there too. Can she borrow a dog with a good nose to take through the house and property? If the dog gets super excited in one area for seemingly no reason, well, I'd do some investigating....
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:00 PM on August 13, 2021
Yeah, my mind went there too. Can she borrow a dog with a good nose to take through the house and property? If the dog gets super excited in one area for seemingly no reason, well, I'd do some investigating....
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:00 PM on August 13, 2021
Look in the tank of all of the toilets. Don't google it, just look, and then if they are clear, give it a flush.
posted by Toddles at 4:32 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by Toddles at 4:32 PM on August 13, 2021
Checking for missing checks isn't a bad idea, but all someone needs is the numbers from the checks to cause mischief. Consider closing all existing accounts and opening new accounts at a different financial institution.
Throw away all the food left in the house, even things like spices. Get rid of any cleaning products or other household products. No way to know what the actual contents of these containers might be.
Consider contacting the local police department (YMMV on whether this is a good idea), to let them know who is currently living there and about the concern over the angry ex. Might help if he decides to call in fake complaints, target for swatting, etc.
While the home is vacant, use "bug bombs" to kill off any intentional or unintentional pests.
Depending on conditions where your friend lives, consider a private immediate response security company. Some places 911 calls frequently go into a hold queue, and private security rates can be a lot lower than you would assume. This strategy worked very well for someone I know.
posted by yohko at 5:07 PM on August 13, 2021
Throw away all the food left in the house, even things like spices. Get rid of any cleaning products or other household products. No way to know what the actual contents of these containers might be.
Consider contacting the local police department (YMMV on whether this is a good idea), to let them know who is currently living there and about the concern over the angry ex. Might help if he decides to call in fake complaints, target for swatting, etc.
While the home is vacant, use "bug bombs" to kill off any intentional or unintentional pests.
Depending on conditions where your friend lives, consider a private immediate response security company. Some places 911 calls frequently go into a hold queue, and private security rates can be a lot lower than you would assume. This strategy worked very well for someone I know.
posted by yohko at 5:07 PM on August 13, 2021
Perhaps I watch too much garbage true crime television, but after an episode I watched this afternoon, I'd see if an HVAC person could come check everything out, including the exhaust fan on the furnace, just to make sure everything is installed as it should be. If your friend doesn't already have a CO detector, now is probably a good time to get one.
Best wishes to your friend. I hope that this is just the beginning of a new chapter.
posted by easy, lucky, free at 5:14 PM on August 13, 2021
Best wishes to your friend. I hope that this is just the beginning of a new chapter.
posted by easy, lucky, free at 5:14 PM on August 13, 2021
Check all the vents. (For rotting fish, etc.)
Check for spy cameras.
Vacuum really well with shoes on.
posted by meemzi at 5:25 PM on August 13, 2021
Check for spy cameras.
Vacuum really well with shoes on.
posted by meemzi at 5:25 PM on August 13, 2021
Maybe I should explain a bit more about why someone would want to call 911 or a private security company, since I'm aware that many people feel that calling the police for any reason at all is something one should never do.
Sometimes people have an ex who actively wants to murder them. If a person feels they are about to be murdered, even if they fear the police would harm them they might find it preferable to take their chances with the police. Calling private immediate response security could be a good option for people who have trouble reaching the police or have concerns that the police would harm them, but it needs to be set up in advance of trouble. Another reason to hire a private company is that they might be easier to reach on the phone in an emergency.
I suppose some people might have friends who are willing and able to show up and help with an ex who wants to do immediate physical harm, but not everyone has friends who are able to handle these sorts of situations, especially if they had many friends in common with the ex. They might also be concerned the ex would harm their friends. But if your friend finds this an appealing option, they should put together a list of numbers in advance since it might be difficult in the heat of the moment to figure out who to call.
I hear that some places there are mutual aid groups one can call instead of the police, so if that's an option your friend is interested in they should find out more about that and make contact with the groups to see what sort of help they offer.
Also, yes to cameras. Be sure to put a camera where any parked cars can be monitored as well. Make sure password recovery options on accounts don't have information the ex would know.
posted by yohko at 5:35 PM on August 13, 2021
Sometimes people have an ex who actively wants to murder them. If a person feels they are about to be murdered, even if they fear the police would harm them they might find it preferable to take their chances with the police. Calling private immediate response security could be a good option for people who have trouble reaching the police or have concerns that the police would harm them, but it needs to be set up in advance of trouble. Another reason to hire a private company is that they might be easier to reach on the phone in an emergency.
I suppose some people might have friends who are willing and able to show up and help with an ex who wants to do immediate physical harm, but not everyone has friends who are able to handle these sorts of situations, especially if they had many friends in common with the ex. They might also be concerned the ex would harm their friends. But if your friend finds this an appealing option, they should put together a list of numbers in advance since it might be difficult in the heat of the moment to figure out who to call.
I hear that some places there are mutual aid groups one can call instead of the police, so if that's an option your friend is interested in they should find out more about that and make contact with the groups to see what sort of help they offer.
Also, yes to cameras. Be sure to put a camera where any parked cars can be monitored as well. Make sure password recovery options on accounts don't have information the ex would know.
posted by yohko at 5:35 PM on August 13, 2021
Most of the stuff I would check has already been mentioned, but adding:
* Carefully check furniture like couches for anything dangerous like sharp objects that may have been left between the cushions.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 6:35 PM on August 13, 2021
* Carefully check furniture like couches for anything dangerous like sharp objects that may have been left between the cushions.
posted by kinddieserzeit at 6:35 PM on August 13, 2021
Some advice re detecting hidden cameras andmicrophones
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:38 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by TWinbrook8 at 6:38 PM on August 13, 2021
Change passwords on all accounts. If possible, make up new answers to security questions that the ex wouldn’t know (so, instead of What street did you grow up on? Main St. you (but only you) will know that the right answer is Sesame St.
posted by Night_owl at 7:39 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by Night_owl at 7:39 PM on August 13, 2021
You might be able to get a housesitter to live there for cost (utilities) and keep an eye on the place. Housing is scarce where I live, you'd have a ton of takers.
posted by theora55 at 8:04 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by theora55 at 8:04 PM on August 13, 2021
Also: check the title periodically for a year or two, make sure that he didn't have that changed.
posted by Tailkinker to-Ennien at 8:39 PM on August 13, 2021
posted by Tailkinker to-Ennien at 8:39 PM on August 13, 2021
Subscribe to a credit rating agency and make sure none of your cards have become joint or have unpaid balances (don’t ask).
This is a long shot but give a clockwise tightening to the square bolts that secure your garage door springs.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:54 PM on August 13, 2021
This is a long shot but give a clockwise tightening to the square bolts that secure your garage door springs.
posted by bonobothegreat at 9:54 PM on August 13, 2021
Check any outbuildings for all the same things mentioned.
Check crawl spaces.
Check anywhere someone might hide drugs.
Check to see if there has been any recent digging on the property.
If there are any exterior plantings - especially trees - that could fall on the house, take a careful look to be sure they haven't been sabotaged.
If the home has gas, have someone check to make sure there are no leaks.
Make sure anything valuable that is normally stored outside is locked up.
Keep an eye on places that locals post classifieds - just in case he decides to make a post saying that everything is free.
Check gutters, chimneys, the roof, and around the exterior in general for any possible damage or entry points. Anything that looks new, strange or different should be checked. Check boards and railings in porches and decks and balconies. Check for tripping hazards, especially around stairs.
Keep the yard trimmed and watered.
Touch base with all neighbors that have a view of the house. Make a list of those in the neighborhood that have cameras that face the house or a road that accesses it.
posted by stormyteal at 12:25 AM on August 14, 2021
Check crawl spaces.
Check anywhere someone might hide drugs.
Check to see if there has been any recent digging on the property.
If there are any exterior plantings - especially trees - that could fall on the house, take a careful look to be sure they haven't been sabotaged.
If the home has gas, have someone check to make sure there are no leaks.
Make sure anything valuable that is normally stored outside is locked up.
Keep an eye on places that locals post classifieds - just in case he decides to make a post saying that everything is free.
Check gutters, chimneys, the roof, and around the exterior in general for any possible damage or entry points. Anything that looks new, strange or different should be checked. Check boards and railings in porches and decks and balconies. Check for tripping hazards, especially around stairs.
Keep the yard trimmed and watered.
Touch base with all neighbors that have a view of the house. Make a list of those in the neighborhood that have cameras that face the house or a road that accesses it.
posted by stormyteal at 12:25 AM on August 14, 2021
raw shrimp in the vents or behind appliances
posted by Jacqueline at 12:29 AM on August 14, 2021
posted by Jacqueline at 12:29 AM on August 14, 2021
Check what the temperature is set to for the fridge, freezer and hot water heater.
Toss out all the food, and medicine. Easy to remake tamper proof seals.
Ask gas company to check for leaks.
posted by Sophont at 1:11 AM on August 14, 2021
Toss out all the food, and medicine. Easy to remake tamper proof seals.
Ask gas company to check for leaks.
posted by Sophont at 1:11 AM on August 14, 2021
I would consider getting a PO box to forward any mail/deliveries (at least anything important) for the foreseeable future since he could easily come and rifle through the mail if it's a mailbox outside the house. One of those doorbell cams is also a good idea.
But my first thought was just making sure there aren't any hidden cameras. I assume most cameras would have to be on the wifi network, so there may be a way to check at the router on this, but I'm not handy enough to know if this would be an option.
posted by litera scripta manet at 5:00 AM on August 14, 2021
But my first thought was just making sure there aren't any hidden cameras. I assume most cameras would have to be on the wifi network, so there may be a way to check at the router on this, but I'm not handy enough to know if this would be an option.
posted by litera scripta manet at 5:00 AM on August 14, 2021
Securing the Wifi:
Find the Wifi router/access point, log into it, and change the passwords. Both the admin password that allows control over the router, and the wifi network ID (SSID) and password for devices to connect. Or just destroy that router and get another one.
If you cannot change the router, or are curious, do a WiFi site scan. Download WiFiman app for iPhone or Android. It will show a list of devices on the WiFi network and attached by ethernet. If there is a camera or sensor on your network it will show up. Devices may show up as "Generic" with an IP address only. Shut down or remove all trusted devices from the house (laptops, game consoles, smartphones, TV streaming devices, etc.) - and if there are still devices other than the router/gateway showing up on the scan, then it could be a camera or sensor. Changing the router passwords or getting a new router will prevent that device from connecting to the internet. This has been used to find hidden cameras in airbnb rentals.
it's possible that there's an IoT surveillance device that has its own little WiFi network hidden somewhere, and it does not even use your router, so do a survey of available WiFi networks. Open your smartphone or laptop network settings and find the place that shows the available networks. You should see your router/access point and also any close neighbors' networks. Make a list of what SSID's are showing up. Then turn off all power to your house. Your main network should disappear. But if another network disappears, then re-appears when your power is turned back on - that's another device inside your house.
This should rule out off-the-shelf gear, but someone with sufficient skills or resources plus intent can leave surveillance that would be undetected. If there's still fear of serious spy stuff, it's probably more a sell this house and move away situation.
For physical non-internet stuff I'd add checking any combustion devices that turn on unattended: furnace, boiler, hot water heaters, gas powered dryers. Check all exhaust and vent ducts or flues. A blocked vent could cause carbon monoxide poisoning or risk of fire. Make sure each floor of the house has working carbon monoxide detectors in addition to smoke detectors. I like the ones that are two in one and talk to each other, so an alarm in the basement also sounds in the upstairs bedroom.
Lastly, If I'm really worried I would pretend to move out and move back in, also making noticeable visual changes to the house. Like take everything out onto the driveway or lawn and then check each room, and only move things back in knowing every corner is clear.
When moving back in, change the furniture layout of the rooms visible from the outside. Change visible decorations on walls and get new curtains or window treatments in a different color. Paint the walls of front visible rooms a different color, change the light fixture, and leave light on for a while. Buy a new mailbox with a lock. Change the house numbers to a different style. Get a decorative wreath or flag for outside that is new. Change or add plants, outdoor furniture, or landscaping visible from the curb. Basically signal to anyone that this is not the same house, removing any visual familiarity that makes the aggressor feel like the property is still "his" and that coming into the house will be as easy to navigate by memory.
posted by sol at 5:49 AM on August 14, 2021
Find the Wifi router/access point, log into it, and change the passwords. Both the admin password that allows control over the router, and the wifi network ID (SSID) and password for devices to connect. Or just destroy that router and get another one.
If you cannot change the router, or are curious, do a WiFi site scan. Download WiFiman app for iPhone or Android. It will show a list of devices on the WiFi network and attached by ethernet. If there is a camera or sensor on your network it will show up. Devices may show up as "Generic" with an IP address only. Shut down or remove all trusted devices from the house (laptops, game consoles, smartphones, TV streaming devices, etc.) - and if there are still devices other than the router/gateway showing up on the scan, then it could be a camera or sensor. Changing the router passwords or getting a new router will prevent that device from connecting to the internet. This has been used to find hidden cameras in airbnb rentals.
it's possible that there's an IoT surveillance device that has its own little WiFi network hidden somewhere, and it does not even use your router, so do a survey of available WiFi networks. Open your smartphone or laptop network settings and find the place that shows the available networks. You should see your router/access point and also any close neighbors' networks. Make a list of what SSID's are showing up. Then turn off all power to your house. Your main network should disappear. But if another network disappears, then re-appears when your power is turned back on - that's another device inside your house.
This should rule out off-the-shelf gear, but someone with sufficient skills or resources plus intent can leave surveillance that would be undetected. If there's still fear of serious spy stuff, it's probably more a sell this house and move away situation.
For physical non-internet stuff I'd add checking any combustion devices that turn on unattended: furnace, boiler, hot water heaters, gas powered dryers. Check all exhaust and vent ducts or flues. A blocked vent could cause carbon monoxide poisoning or risk of fire. Make sure each floor of the house has working carbon monoxide detectors in addition to smoke detectors. I like the ones that are two in one and talk to each other, so an alarm in the basement also sounds in the upstairs bedroom.
Lastly, If I'm really worried I would pretend to move out and move back in, also making noticeable visual changes to the house. Like take everything out onto the driveway or lawn and then check each room, and only move things back in knowing every corner is clear.
When moving back in, change the furniture layout of the rooms visible from the outside. Change visible decorations on walls and get new curtains or window treatments in a different color. Paint the walls of front visible rooms a different color, change the light fixture, and leave light on for a while. Buy a new mailbox with a lock. Change the house numbers to a different style. Get a decorative wreath or flag for outside that is new. Change or add plants, outdoor furniture, or landscaping visible from the curb. Basically signal to anyone that this is not the same house, removing any visual familiarity that makes the aggressor feel like the property is still "his" and that coming into the house will be as easy to navigate by memory.
posted by sol at 5:49 AM on August 14, 2021
The spyware / internet account thing is really important. A friend of mine went through something broadly similar, and the jerk ex had installed a keylogger on her computer so he could find her new email passwords.
I'd also suggest locking credit, changing the name any utilities are under, etc. Change out electronic banking accounts, enable two-factor authentication on everything, and make sure that things like "find my friends" or "find my devices" on ios systems aren't snoopable. If you have an iphone, and your ex knows your appleid and password, then it's pretty trivial to do real-world location tracking.
Blink cameras are relatively cheap and send their info directly to the internet when motion is detected- they also work at night with IR.
posted by jenkinsEar at 8:16 AM on August 14, 2021
I'd also suggest locking credit, changing the name any utilities are under, etc. Change out electronic banking accounts, enable two-factor authentication on everything, and make sure that things like "find my friends" or "find my devices" on ios systems aren't snoopable. If you have an iphone, and your ex knows your appleid and password, then it's pretty trivial to do real-world location tracking.
Blink cameras are relatively cheap and send their info directly to the internet when motion is detected- they also work at night with IR.
posted by jenkinsEar at 8:16 AM on August 14, 2021
This is an overwhelming and paranoia-inducing list. If I were this person I would hire a competent and understanding home inspector (like when you buy a new house) and just have them do a full inspection.
Our home inspection cost about $600, took about 3-4 hours, and our inspector was a small woman who went right up into the attic and onto the roof (her having a small physical size turned out to be very useful - a later inspector who was a large man didn’t fit into the attic and didn’t trust the porch roof to hold his weight).
She used an infra-red camera so sensitive it was able to discover an empty mouse nest in a wall - so I’d bet this tool would also be useful for mystery electronics that the shithead may have hidden. I think it would be $600 well spent!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:22 AM on August 14, 2021
Our home inspection cost about $600, took about 3-4 hours, and our inspector was a small woman who went right up into the attic and onto the roof (her having a small physical size turned out to be very useful - a later inspector who was a large man didn’t fit into the attic and didn’t trust the porch roof to hold his weight).
She used an infra-red camera so sensitive it was able to discover an empty mouse nest in a wall - so I’d bet this tool would also be useful for mystery electronics that the shithead may have hidden. I think it would be $600 well spent!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 8:22 AM on August 14, 2021
Check mobile devices to make sure they’re set up on an account you control, ie, your own AppleID/Google account. If you’re using something like Family Sharing, leave the group.
posted by zamboni at 8:46 AM on August 14, 2021
posted by zamboni at 8:46 AM on August 14, 2021
Here is a link to my earlier comment regarding OnlineSOS, a US nonprofit that that develops guides, how-tos, and content to support journalists who are facing online harassment. That said, at least 99% of this material applies to anyone, like your friend, whose privacy may be at risk because of someone else's actions.
What OnlineSOS offers are their Action Plans, which [words in brackets added by me]
'
Type of harassment faced:
Doxxing.
Online sexual harassment.
Online threats of violence.
Distribution of intimate images.
Distribution of false information.
What your friend wants to protect:
Digital security.
Two-factor authentication.
Proper documentation.
Communicating with boss and colleagues.
Emotional health.
Threat modeling (Adapted from the Electronic Frontier Foundation's Surveillance Self-Defense Guide).
Finally, there is the Account Safety Cheat Sheet.
Again, it's targeted at journalists. But it's of use to any adult who has lived a years-long digital life and who needs to start securing their digital footprint.
Here is the link to the Account Safety Cheat Sheet, along with a couple of other questions for your friend to think about while she's looking it over.
posted by virago at 10:43 AM on August 14, 2021
What OnlineSOS offers are their Action Plans, which [words in brackets added by me]
combine two types of checklists, as described by Dr. Atul Gawande in The Checklist Manifesto: one that provides very clear steps and another that allows for flexibility and choice. Combined, journalists [and anyone else] facing online harassment can see a clear path to action while accounting for their personal case.Here are the Action Plans for the following situations and/or concerns. Each link will take your friend to a web page that is downloadable as a PDF.
'
Type of harassment faced:
Doxxing.
Online sexual harassment.
Online threats of violence.
Distribution of intimate images.
Distribution of false information.
What your friend wants to protect:
Digital security.
Two-factor authentication.
Proper documentation.
Communicating with boss and colleagues.
Emotional health.
Threat modeling (Adapted from the Electronic Frontier Foundation's Surveillance Self-Defense Guide).
Finally, there is the Account Safety Cheat Sheet.
Again, it's targeted at journalists. But it's of use to any adult who has lived a years-long digital life and who needs to start securing their digital footprint.
Here is the link to the Account Safety Cheat Sheet, along with a couple of other questions for your friend to think about while she's looking it over.
posted by virago at 10:43 AM on August 14, 2021
In addition to all the above, check the dryer vent, from the inside and the outside. It should be completely clear.
posted by KayQuestions at 3:02 PM on August 14, 2021
posted by KayQuestions at 3:02 PM on August 14, 2021
Since you mentioned the home may be vacant for a while, I hope that means she has a safe place to stay other than the house for a while. As much as I hate to say it, if the ex has a legal right to occupy the house, then I think she needs to consult her lawyer about whether she can change the locks on him just yet. Doing so should help avoid any legal and resulting financial troubles down the road.
posted by ktkt at 3:49 PM on August 14, 2021
posted by ktkt at 3:49 PM on August 14, 2021
If you want logistical help arranging or doing any of this that can be done remotely, please let me know. It is a big list but if there is anything I can take off your plate (looking up how to change passwords for this model of router, turning this all into a checklist with a place to keep notes, whatever) I'd be happy to take anything that can be delegated.
posted by librarina at 10:27 PM on August 14, 2021
posted by librarina at 10:27 PM on August 14, 2021
I'm rather surprised that nobody has mentioned this: get someone you trust to stay in the house.
It's a good idea not to leave a house unoccupied for more than a few days, and usually you can find someone. My adult kids have done it for friends a number of times, usually for a small amount of cash and a place they can call their own for a while. They can also keep an eye on stuff that you have to live in a place to notice, and stuff that is best found immediately, like water leaks.
I think a lot of the suggestions on here will make you paranoid, and someone who leaves the windows unlocked seems unlikely to go to incredibly sneaky lengths.
I could be wrong.
But having a house-sitter removes a lot of these concerns, and ones unrelated to your ex. Also, if something goes wrong and is caught, you don't have to brood over whether it was a booby trap or random chance.
posted by AugustusCrunch at 12:53 AM on August 15, 2021
It's a good idea not to leave a house unoccupied for more than a few days, and usually you can find someone. My adult kids have done it for friends a number of times, usually for a small amount of cash and a place they can call their own for a while. They can also keep an eye on stuff that you have to live in a place to notice, and stuff that is best found immediately, like water leaks.
I think a lot of the suggestions on here will make you paranoid, and someone who leaves the windows unlocked seems unlikely to go to incredibly sneaky lengths.
I could be wrong.
But having a house-sitter removes a lot of these concerns, and ones unrelated to your ex. Also, if something goes wrong and is caught, you don't have to brood over whether it was a booby trap or random chance.
posted by AugustusCrunch at 12:53 AM on August 15, 2021
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by letahl at 2:51 PM on August 13, 2021