Stories about receiving compensation
September 25, 2020 7:35 AM
I would like to hear from people who have received compensation payouts following traumatic events. What did you feel before, during and after the settlement, and how did you make decisions about how to manage whatever money you received?
I developed PTSD following a traumatic incident. The situation was covered by a third party insurer and my lawyer is now moving toward settlement. I’ve been told it could be six figures, but I understand this is uncertain and I am not counting on receiving any amount in particular. I am not well off (though not intergenerationally poor either). It’s likely that even a smaller settlement would give me more financial options than I have had before.
I’m wondering what the settlement process in particular is like, for those who have experienced it. Not so much the procedural stuff, which varies by jurisdiction, but like...what is it like mentally and emotionally to have a dollar amount put on something as unquantifiable as human suffering, and then have all the fighting be over? And then, I guess, being left to work through the decisions and shifts in perspective that can come with changed financial circumstances, while also figuring how to keep recovering? (I will have access to healthcare even after settlement).
I’m certainly not planning spending sprees. At the moment I’m thinking I would attend to a few pressing expenses and then lock the rest away in savings for a while so I can get some distance from the stress of it all. I just suspect that even though compensation is often portrayed as unambiguously positive, there might be some weird complicated feelings that come along with it.
Anyone else been where I’m headed?
I developed PTSD following a traumatic incident. The situation was covered by a third party insurer and my lawyer is now moving toward settlement. I’ve been told it could be six figures, but I understand this is uncertain and I am not counting on receiving any amount in particular. I am not well off (though not intergenerationally poor either). It’s likely that even a smaller settlement would give me more financial options than I have had before.
I’m wondering what the settlement process in particular is like, for those who have experienced it. Not so much the procedural stuff, which varies by jurisdiction, but like...what is it like mentally and emotionally to have a dollar amount put on something as unquantifiable as human suffering, and then have all the fighting be over? And then, I guess, being left to work through the decisions and shifts in perspective that can come with changed financial circumstances, while also figuring how to keep recovering? (I will have access to healthcare even after settlement).
I’m certainly not planning spending sprees. At the moment I’m thinking I would attend to a few pressing expenses and then lock the rest away in savings for a while so I can get some distance from the stress of it all. I just suspect that even though compensation is often portrayed as unambiguously positive, there might be some weird complicated feelings that come along with it.
Anyone else been where I’m headed?
I have a friend who experienced this, although the situation is a bit different. The money was put in a trust and accessing it involves many steps. I would hope you can access the money more freely.
I was also in a situation with a lot of money at stake, first lawyers fees and then a possible payment. That friend gave me great advice and I hope more people who have been in your shoes can advise you here. My friend “won” the settlement but wishes she could have moved away from the place where the traumatic event happened because it was really in the news and a lot of people and the police turned against her. I chose to not keep things going but found my lawyers really wanted me to as it was beneficial to them; my family was so supportive but just didn’t have the right insight. Fortunately, I had some friends who were so helpful as well as an amazing therapist. If and when you receive the payment, especially if it’s public, people will come out of the woodwork to target you. You owe nothing to no one: not that story of your trauma, the amount you received, what you plan to do, etc. Please be careful to protect yourself this way because I’ve seen how fucked up it can get. Finally, your plan sounds wise, paying for needed things and putting the money in a money market saving account in a credit union or the like and just let it be. You can invest or buy or donate later but you deserve a break now! Good luck!
posted by smorgasbord at 8:13 AM on September 25, 2020
I was also in a situation with a lot of money at stake, first lawyers fees and then a possible payment. That friend gave me great advice and I hope more people who have been in your shoes can advise you here. My friend “won” the settlement but wishes she could have moved away from the place where the traumatic event happened because it was really in the news and a lot of people and the police turned against her. I chose to not keep things going but found my lawyers really wanted me to as it was beneficial to them; my family was so supportive but just didn’t have the right insight. Fortunately, I had some friends who were so helpful as well as an amazing therapist. If and when you receive the payment, especially if it’s public, people will come out of the woodwork to target you. You owe nothing to no one: not that story of your trauma, the amount you received, what you plan to do, etc. Please be careful to protect yourself this way because I’ve seen how fucked up it can get. Finally, your plan sounds wise, paying for needed things and putting the money in a money market saving account in a credit union or the like and just let it be. You can invest or buy or donate later but you deserve a break now! Good luck!
posted by smorgasbord at 8:13 AM on September 25, 2020
Additionally, I can tell you that I have been fully recovered from the trauma. I’ve been treated and I’m doing great but my perspectives are totally different. Not bad but different!
If you’d like to MeMail me to discuss this more privately, please do. I can also share more details of my story that I don’t feel comfortable posting publicly. It’s so good to create networks of people you can trust, who can give you advice & support but want nothing from you other than human connection and empathy. I’m so sorry you have suffered so much and I hope that money helps your standard of living improve so your well-being does too. <3
posted by smorgasbord at 8:19 AM on September 25, 2020
If you’d like to MeMail me to discuss this more privately, please do. I can also share more details of my story that I don’t feel comfortable posting publicly. It’s so good to create networks of people you can trust, who can give you advice & support but want nothing from you other than human connection and empathy. I’m so sorry you have suffered so much and I hope that money helps your standard of living improve so your well-being does too. <3
posted by smorgasbord at 8:19 AM on September 25, 2020
I just suspect that even though compensation is often portrayed as unambiguously positive, there might be some weird complicated feelings that come along with it.
It's not unambiguously positive. I was the bike part of a bike/car collision that ended up with me being transported unconscious to an emergency room, concussion, multiple bones breaking, surgery, and about three months of physical therapy. If curious, feel free to MeMail me for more details; the total compensation was in the six figures. I'm not traumatized by the collision, but I'm also not "happy" with the compensation. Even if the figure was doubled, I would still strongly have preferred just not to be in the collision. The compensation was capped by the car driver's insurance policy, so it is likely I would have received more had the driver been appropriately insured.
There are purely logistical details you should be aware of. If your lawyer is on contingency (likely), they will have negotiated a fee of around 1/3 of your settlement. That will be a big number that surprises you, but give the lawyer their due - this is their job. You will also likely be responsible for repaying your health insurance company for the care they've given you so far. That will come from your compensation. Again, it'll likely be a big number, but if health insurance companies paid claims for medical care at the fault of others, health insurance costs would increase for everyone. You will also have to deal with people asking you for a very long time how much money you received, and will probably ask what you did with the money. In my case, I did nothing - I simply deposited it in my savings accounts - this answer is not very satisfying to many people.
There are more subtle details you should be aware of. You'll probably wonder if the price assigned is "right". It won't be. The legal system weighs two competing claims - your claim to bodily integrity against the other party's right to not have the victim profit from the claim. The other party will always value you less than you value yourself. The legal system ends up making two parties unhappy in order to be "fair" - hence leading to the frequent claim that the best settlement is where both parties are unhappy with the result. For me, the best response I could do is to accept that the collision happened, that it (unfortunately) is not an uncommon occurrence, and that I can't change the past. I won't say that's an easy thing to do. Money helps - it's better than nothing. At least for me, though, I was never looking for money - I was just looking not to be sent to the emergency room while biking home from work by a driver who couldn't easily turn right at an intersection that was poorly designed by the city I worked in. But, it still happened, and I can't change that. There are many things in life I can't change, and this is one of them - I've accepted it in the same category of mistakes that I made myself.
posted by saeculorum at 8:32 AM on September 25, 2020
It's not unambiguously positive. I was the bike part of a bike/car collision that ended up with me being transported unconscious to an emergency room, concussion, multiple bones breaking, surgery, and about three months of physical therapy. If curious, feel free to MeMail me for more details; the total compensation was in the six figures. I'm not traumatized by the collision, but I'm also not "happy" with the compensation. Even if the figure was doubled, I would still strongly have preferred just not to be in the collision. The compensation was capped by the car driver's insurance policy, so it is likely I would have received more had the driver been appropriately insured.
There are purely logistical details you should be aware of. If your lawyer is on contingency (likely), they will have negotiated a fee of around 1/3 of your settlement. That will be a big number that surprises you, but give the lawyer their due - this is their job. You will also likely be responsible for repaying your health insurance company for the care they've given you so far. That will come from your compensation. Again, it'll likely be a big number, but if health insurance companies paid claims for medical care at the fault of others, health insurance costs would increase for everyone. You will also have to deal with people asking you for a very long time how much money you received, and will probably ask what you did with the money. In my case, I did nothing - I simply deposited it in my savings accounts - this answer is not very satisfying to many people.
There are more subtle details you should be aware of. You'll probably wonder if the price assigned is "right". It won't be. The legal system weighs two competing claims - your claim to bodily integrity against the other party's right to not have the victim profit from the claim. The other party will always value you less than you value yourself. The legal system ends up making two parties unhappy in order to be "fair" - hence leading to the frequent claim that the best settlement is where both parties are unhappy with the result. For me, the best response I could do is to accept that the collision happened, that it (unfortunately) is not an uncommon occurrence, and that I can't change the past. I won't say that's an easy thing to do. Money helps - it's better than nothing. At least for me, though, I was never looking for money - I was just looking not to be sent to the emergency room while biking home from work by a driver who couldn't easily turn right at an intersection that was poorly designed by the city I worked in. But, it still happened, and I can't change that. There are many things in life I can't change, and this is one of them - I've accepted it in the same category of mistakes that I made myself.
posted by saeculorum at 8:32 AM on September 25, 2020
I just asked a friend who had a wrongful death lawsuit regarding one of his children in a car accident. The only thing he said was, "There are a lot of losers in these lawsuits and not a single winner in the end."
posted by AugustWest at 8:51 AM on September 25, 2020
posted by AugustWest at 8:51 AM on September 25, 2020
I received money after a lawsuit when my uncle died due to an egregious error made by a 911 operator. I was more happy that the city changed their system to make sure something like that would be less likely to happen again.
I was one of many beneficiaries, so my share was not huge. Although I'm a child of lawyers and understand that they need to get paid, I was surprised that the lawyer received 1/3 of the settlement, as saeculorum says. (And if the lawsuit had failed, the lawyer would have gotten nothing, so it makes sense - it was just a surprising amount.) The prospect of money from a lawsuit brings out greed in some people. Another of the beneficiaries wanted a separate lawsuit for just herself although she was no closer to my uncle than the other beneficiaries (this did not happen). People you know might be strange about this money and expect something from you if they feel like you didn't "earn" it.
I honestly don't remember what I spent the money on. I did feel weird about it - I don't often tell people that this happened, and when I do, I point out that suing is unusual for us and that they changed their system afterwards. I guess that gives me an "excuse" to feel that it's OK that I got this money. By the time the whole thing wound its way through the court system, the money seemed only vaguely connected to the lawsuit and was just a part of the general estate in my head, which I was also a beneficiary of.
When I think of my uncle's death, it just seems like a terrible tragedy to me that he died because of a mistake someone made. I read in the paper that the 911 operator was devastated, and I do wonder how this has affected her life. I rarely think of the money now at all, but as I said, it was not a large amount.
Also, I highly recommend the film Hot Coffee for a look at attitudes toward negligence lawsuits in the US and how the large amounts reported are often not the amounts the people actually get. The title comes from the infamous case of the woman who was severely burned from hot coffee she got at McDonald's. There is a lot about that case that did not make it into the press in the rush to mock her. The movie shows pictures of her burns, which are shocking, and notes that she only sued after McDonald's refused to pay her medical expenses. The film also notes that McDonald's had received many previous complaints about the temperature of their coffee.
posted by FencingGal at 10:15 AM on September 25, 2020
I was one of many beneficiaries, so my share was not huge. Although I'm a child of lawyers and understand that they need to get paid, I was surprised that the lawyer received 1/3 of the settlement, as saeculorum says. (And if the lawsuit had failed, the lawyer would have gotten nothing, so it makes sense - it was just a surprising amount.) The prospect of money from a lawsuit brings out greed in some people. Another of the beneficiaries wanted a separate lawsuit for just herself although she was no closer to my uncle than the other beneficiaries (this did not happen). People you know might be strange about this money and expect something from you if they feel like you didn't "earn" it.
I honestly don't remember what I spent the money on. I did feel weird about it - I don't often tell people that this happened, and when I do, I point out that suing is unusual for us and that they changed their system afterwards. I guess that gives me an "excuse" to feel that it's OK that I got this money. By the time the whole thing wound its way through the court system, the money seemed only vaguely connected to the lawsuit and was just a part of the general estate in my head, which I was also a beneficiary of.
When I think of my uncle's death, it just seems like a terrible tragedy to me that he died because of a mistake someone made. I read in the paper that the 911 operator was devastated, and I do wonder how this has affected her life. I rarely think of the money now at all, but as I said, it was not a large amount.
Also, I highly recommend the film Hot Coffee for a look at attitudes toward negligence lawsuits in the US and how the large amounts reported are often not the amounts the people actually get. The title comes from the infamous case of the woman who was severely burned from hot coffee she got at McDonald's. There is a lot about that case that did not make it into the press in the rush to mock her. The movie shows pictures of her burns, which are shocking, and notes that she only sued after McDonald's refused to pay her medical expenses. The film also notes that McDonald's had received many previous complaints about the temperature of their coffee.
posted by FencingGal at 10:15 AM on September 25, 2020
I was rear-ended on the freeway in 2006--the accident caused my seatback to fail so that even though I was wearing my seatbelt, I slid out from it and my head crashed into the back window/window frame of my little Honda. I had a severe concussion (was unconscious for almost 24 hours) and crushed a vertebra. When I was finally conscious and in a rehab center (in clam shell brace for more than 6 weeks--only in the rehab place for less than a week because it was a nightmare, but that is another story) I had my mom contact a neighbor who was a personal injury attorney. At that time, I had no idea who was at fault--I had and still have almost total amnesia about the day of the accident from about dinner time the night before--so mostly, I wanted to have an attorney in case I was in some way at fault.
My attorney started the ball rolling on suing the driver and the company he worked for (he was a driver for a liquor distributor). The process was long and invasive, I had many, many neurological tests, physical tests, psychological tests, my boss was deposed, mom, etc. But my attorney found out that the driver was on duty and on a cell phone and that the traffic had stopped, but he just continued and plowed into me at almost full freeway speed.
I honestly don't know if I would go through it again. I had good health care and insurance and so I didn't come out with any debt--the driver himself had no insurance, no assets and was injured himself so without my attorney finding out that he was driving for work, I wouldn't have received anything.
In the end, almost 3 years later, I received a check for almost $100K as a settlement from the distributor. I put it in a CD and didn't think about it for over 5 years. Then a series of events happened that made buying a house seem like the best course of action. I used the money for the down payment. I still have some cognitive issues. I have vertigo that has never fully gone away and I have a back that aches frequently where the crushed vertebra is. However, my attorney told me about a client who had a similar accident in a Honda that resulted in him being paralyzed so I am grateful for that.
The settlement was a very mixed blessing. I would have preferred the accident never happened. I forget how, but I heard the driver lost his job and ended up in the VA hospital with a serious leg injury--I am not sure who told me that--I feel terrible about his suffering.
posted by agatha_magatha at 12:28 PM on September 25, 2020
My attorney started the ball rolling on suing the driver and the company he worked for (he was a driver for a liquor distributor). The process was long and invasive, I had many, many neurological tests, physical tests, psychological tests, my boss was deposed, mom, etc. But my attorney found out that the driver was on duty and on a cell phone and that the traffic had stopped, but he just continued and plowed into me at almost full freeway speed.
I honestly don't know if I would go through it again. I had good health care and insurance and so I didn't come out with any debt--the driver himself had no insurance, no assets and was injured himself so without my attorney finding out that he was driving for work, I wouldn't have received anything.
In the end, almost 3 years later, I received a check for almost $100K as a settlement from the distributor. I put it in a CD and didn't think about it for over 5 years. Then a series of events happened that made buying a house seem like the best course of action. I used the money for the down payment. I still have some cognitive issues. I have vertigo that has never fully gone away and I have a back that aches frequently where the crushed vertebra is. However, my attorney told me about a client who had a similar accident in a Honda that resulted in him being paralyzed so I am grateful for that.
The settlement was a very mixed blessing. I would have preferred the accident never happened. I forget how, but I heard the driver lost his job and ended up in the VA hospital with a serious leg injury--I am not sure who told me that--I feel terrible about his suffering.
posted by agatha_magatha at 12:28 PM on September 25, 2020
Like saeculorum, I was in a bike vs car and received a settlement for six figures (I wrote about this at some length on my blog, which you can find through my profile if you're curious). My lawyers took slightly less than ⅓, and my health insurer also subrogated part of my settlement. I don't remember how much I was left with, but it was a lot. I put it into savings. The stockmarket was really hot at the time, and I should have played the market with at least some of it. After about a year, I used the money for the downpayment on a house.
So this was a life-changing amount of money. The housing market was also pretty silly at the time, and I probably could have made a downpayment even without the settlement, but having that money let me make a bigger downpayment on a nicer house, and perhaps more importantly, put me in the mindset of someone who could buy a house.
Also like saeculorum, I would rather I had not been in the collision. I was warned by my orthopedic surgeon that I was at risk for complications, and it would take five years before I was in the clear (happily, that period passed without complications), and if I did have those complications, the settlement would not have been adequate, so that was a gamble. I also had low-level constant pain until I got my screws removed.
I don't recall feeling emotionally ambivalent about receiving the settlement. It took quite a long time for my lawyers to negotiate it (I think it was the 6th round of offer/counteroffer; if the other side hadn't taken it, my lawyers would have gone to court, which we all wanted to avoid). I was mostly glad it was over and that I was not out of pocket. I regarded the amount beyond what I needed to cover expenses and lost income as a payoff for future complications multiplied by the probability of complications.
posted by adamrice at 2:51 PM on September 25, 2020
So this was a life-changing amount of money. The housing market was also pretty silly at the time, and I probably could have made a downpayment even without the settlement, but having that money let me make a bigger downpayment on a nicer house, and perhaps more importantly, put me in the mindset of someone who could buy a house.
Also like saeculorum, I would rather I had not been in the collision. I was warned by my orthopedic surgeon that I was at risk for complications, and it would take five years before I was in the clear (happily, that period passed without complications), and if I did have those complications, the settlement would not have been adequate, so that was a gamble. I also had low-level constant pain until I got my screws removed.
I don't recall feeling emotionally ambivalent about receiving the settlement. It took quite a long time for my lawyers to negotiate it (I think it was the 6th round of offer/counteroffer; if the other side hadn't taken it, my lawyers would have gone to court, which we all wanted to avoid). I was mostly glad it was over and that I was not out of pocket. I regarded the amount beyond what I needed to cover expenses and lost income as a payoff for future complications multiplied by the probability of complications.
posted by adamrice at 2:51 PM on September 25, 2020
I got a settlement, split half with my sister, from the auto insurance company representing the other driver in the accident that resulted in my father's death. The other woman admitted she was at fault, but her insurance company was fiddling around and low balling things. Dealing with the other insurance company, the police, etc. was super distasteful and upsetting - I did not want to dicker around about the monetary worth of the theoretical length of my father's life if he had not died - so I got a lawyer just so I would not have to deal with all the stuff directly. He knew what I thought was a fair settlement amount, and he got that for us without having to go to court. It was not a huge amount, but nothing to sneeze at either. The lawyer got his cut, and deserved every bit of it.
I primarily did it because I knew my father would be worrying about my sister (who had debt and little savings, let alone retirement savings), and I knew he would want to get a little bit of a nest egg for her if possible. I felt a huge relief when it was over just to have it over with, and to be able to grieve my father and not have to keep thinking about the accident and various what ifs. I did park the money for a bit in savings just so as not to think about it all.
So, thinking about it a few years on, it was not something I ever wanted to go through (and would much rather have had my father be still around), but I did feel ok about it and did feel the circumstances justified us getting the money ((there are details about all this I prefer not to put out for general reading, let alone think too much about myself).
posted by gudrun at 6:17 PM on September 25, 2020
I primarily did it because I knew my father would be worrying about my sister (who had debt and little savings, let alone retirement savings), and I knew he would want to get a little bit of a nest egg for her if possible. I felt a huge relief when it was over just to have it over with, and to be able to grieve my father and not have to keep thinking about the accident and various what ifs. I did park the money for a bit in savings just so as not to think about it all.
So, thinking about it a few years on, it was not something I ever wanted to go through (and would much rather have had my father be still around), but I did feel ok about it and did feel the circumstances justified us getting the money ((there are details about all this I prefer not to put out for general reading, let alone think too much about myself).
posted by gudrun at 6:17 PM on September 25, 2020
I receive monthly disability from the VA for a wartime injury. When I first got it, I was surprised and ashamed, it was more than I expected. Now, I fluctuate between thinking it’s too high and too low for my injury. There’s lots of intense mixed feelings in the veteran community about disability payments. You’re right, suffering is unquantifiable, and there will never be an appropriate payment. I have been careful about who I tell about this. People will have Opinions on the money you make and spend, and you may not want to hear it when they want to tell you.
Regarding the legal fight being over: the fight just shifted to the other ways I am rebuilding my life. Best wishes to you.
posted by sdrawkcaSSAb at 6:19 PM on September 25, 2020
Regarding the legal fight being over: the fight just shifted to the other ways I am rebuilding my life. Best wishes to you.
posted by sdrawkcaSSAb at 6:19 PM on September 25, 2020
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(Also, as a non-expert, I suggest investing in index funds. Or, if you're not confident in continued existence of US industry on decade-long timescales, foreign bonds. Financial managers are all innumerate idioits who will lie to you at every opportunity and try to steal your money.)
posted by eotvos at 7:52 AM on September 25, 2020