Libido Metrics and the Modern Male

January 3, 2020 6:05 PM

I've written this question a couple different ways without submitting it, but the gist is this: I am a man in his late 50's experiencing a precipitous drop in libido over the last 2-3 years that my partner and I both find rather startling. I'm almost completely disinterested in sex, and my relationship is suffering. Not deeply depressed. Not focused on other women or porn. Just kind of...shut down. I don't want to be shut down. How are we to know if this is outside the realm of the expected in males of a certain age? Is there a standard metric? Beyond "age," what might be causing this increasingly steep decline?
posted by anonymous to Health & Fitness (10 answers total)

I mean... Very obvious question, but what did your doctor say when you discussed this with them? If you haven't done that, it is the obvious first step.
posted by brainmouse at 6:13 PM on January 3, 2020

Here’s a graph of sexual frequency by age. You’re definitely on the downslope, but there is no precipitous drop off in general.

There is a really wide range of medical conditions that can result in loss of libido. Talking to your doctor would be a good first step.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:22 PM on January 3, 2020

Definitely talk to your doc. If this is as simple as your testosterone levels declining a bit ahead of the curve, that can be easily remedied.
posted by snuffleupagus at 6:54 PM on January 3, 2020

55 here. I had a dip in libido in my late 40s. Quick discussion with my doctor, a blood test, and 1 daily pill later, my 50s sex drive is at least as strong as it was in my 30s.
posted by hworth at 7:48 PM on January 3, 2020

There are standards for testosterone levels that drive libido. Ask your doctor to test you.
posted by amaire at 12:24 AM on January 4, 2020

Please see your PCP, for someone I know this was a symptom of a life threatening but very treatable disease.
posted by rip at 1:46 AM on January 4, 2020

Nthing doctor doctor doctor. Lots of things and combinations of things can affect libido. 51 here, and a milder drop in libido led to the findings that 1) my sleep apnea was way worse than I thought it was and 2) my cholesterol levels were out of whack. Treatment has improved both my sex drive and my general quality of life.
posted by soundguy99 at 5:18 AM on January 4, 2020

Any new medications? Herbs, vitamins?
posted by 8603 at 7:53 AM on January 4, 2020

Low testosterone is a real problem for more men than you might realize. Beyond affecting ones sex drive it can be indicative of a larger health issue. On its own, whatever the cause, it can lead to increased risks in cardiovascular health as well as other major systems within the body. Any kind of hormonal imbalance is a big deal. Ask your doctor if this could be a factor.
posted by Conrad-Casserole at 12:21 PM on January 4, 2020

Low testosterone can definitely cause this. Don't let a doctor tell you it's normal for a man of your age. We found that a doctor specializing in anti-aging was more responsive than a family practice doc.
posted by summerstorm at 3:01 PM on January 4, 2020