Filing for bankruptcy: Will it clear off an eviction for...
November 27, 2019 2:36 AM Subscribe
I’m currently locked in a lease with an ex-boyfriend, who is a covert narcissist, and his brother who lives out of state and is on the lease by name only. My ex is threatening to file for bankruptcy and stop paying rent.
My question is: What is my ex getting out of filing for bankruptcy? Can filing for bankruptcy clear off an eviction? What about in the case where you are evicted because you violated the terms of the lease by having someone live with you who is not on the lease?
I physically moved out of the house about 6 months ago and have continued to pay rent the whole time. I asked him to please actively look for another roommate to replace me and for months he refused to do this. So I accepted the situation and decided to use the room I was paying for for storage. I crashed at a boyfriend’s house and lived out of a book bag and I used this time to try to figure out my living arrangements. Until one day I found out that he, without my knowledge or permission, messily and carelessly packed my things (and swiped some things), found my spare car key, and used that key to unlock my car door and stuff everything I owned into the car. He moved in someone who intended to stay there for that month only, so he could make extra cash. Mind you, I gave him full rent money for that month as well.
The landlord told me to call the cops.
The cops told me it was a civil issue and there was nothing they could do.
I had to get ugly and threaten legal recourse for him to back off and gradually give me back some of the items of mine that he stole. Some of these things, however, are still missing, but they’re of little monetary value and it’s very much a he said-she said situation. I’m not concerned about being compensated for these things. They’re gone.
I grabbed all my belongings and I’m living with with my boyfriend now.
I am not comfortable moving back into a toxic environment.
I am also not comfortable having my belongings back in that house, where he could do something like that again.
I’ve talked to the landlord.
Adding a bolt to my door isn’t against the terms of the lease.
I can’t sublet.
I can’t add anyone to the lease with the intention of having them replace me without all parties signing to it.
I can’t get out of the lease without all three parties signing to it. And my ex needs me on the lease because he is self-employed, and he needs my proof of income.
He has found a new roommate (who is currently not on the lease). Apparently if this person were to be added to the lease, this person and my ex’s brother still wouldn’t make enough combined for me to get off the lease. I’m not sure my ex intends to add this person to the lease.
I have no means of contacting his brother except through an e-mail address I found on file that may or may not be his. He’s not responding to my e-mails or any of his messages on Facebook.
Despite me paying rent this whole time, my ex is threatening to file bankruptcy and stop paying rent. He doesn’t care if this adversely effects me or his brother. He has quit multiple jobs and recently bought a new car he did not need and couldn’t afford. Before I moved out, he tried to coerce and manipulate me through guilt and obligation into co-signing the loan for this car because he felt I “owed” him because I would still be homeless without him saving me from my am abusive ex-boyfriend with a drug problem, who, unshockingly, exhibited many traits of narcissism.
I don’t know what to do.
I physically moved out of the house about 6 months ago and have continued to pay rent the whole time. I asked him to please actively look for another roommate to replace me and for months he refused to do this. So I accepted the situation and decided to use the room I was paying for for storage. I crashed at a boyfriend’s house and lived out of a book bag and I used this time to try to figure out my living arrangements. Until one day I found out that he, without my knowledge or permission, messily and carelessly packed my things (and swiped some things), found my spare car key, and used that key to unlock my car door and stuff everything I owned into the car. He moved in someone who intended to stay there for that month only, so he could make extra cash. Mind you, I gave him full rent money for that month as well.
The landlord told me to call the cops.
The cops told me it was a civil issue and there was nothing they could do.
I had to get ugly and threaten legal recourse for him to back off and gradually give me back some of the items of mine that he stole. Some of these things, however, are still missing, but they’re of little monetary value and it’s very much a he said-she said situation. I’m not concerned about being compensated for these things. They’re gone.
I grabbed all my belongings and I’m living with with my boyfriend now.
I am not comfortable moving back into a toxic environment.
I am also not comfortable having my belongings back in that house, where he could do something like that again.
I’ve talked to the landlord.
Adding a bolt to my door isn’t against the terms of the lease.
I can’t sublet.
I can’t add anyone to the lease with the intention of having them replace me without all parties signing to it.
I can’t get out of the lease without all three parties signing to it. And my ex needs me on the lease because he is self-employed, and he needs my proof of income.
He has found a new roommate (who is currently not on the lease). Apparently if this person were to be added to the lease, this person and my ex’s brother still wouldn’t make enough combined for me to get off the lease. I’m not sure my ex intends to add this person to the lease.
I have no means of contacting his brother except through an e-mail address I found on file that may or may not be his. He’s not responding to my e-mails or any of his messages on Facebook.
Despite me paying rent this whole time, my ex is threatening to file bankruptcy and stop paying rent. He doesn’t care if this adversely effects me or his brother. He has quit multiple jobs and recently bought a new car he did not need and couldn’t afford. Before I moved out, he tried to coerce and manipulate me through guilt and obligation into co-signing the loan for this car because he felt I “owed” him because I would still be homeless without him saving me from my am abusive ex-boyfriend with a drug problem, who, unshockingly, exhibited many traits of narcissism.
I don’t know what to do.
First thing I would do is send a registered letter to the landlord informing them that you will not be renewing your lease in case your ex forges your name on any lease renewal paperwork. Not that forgery would necessarily work but it would make me feel better knowing my tie to him would be over at lease end.
posted by perdhapley at 2:58 AM on November 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by perdhapley at 2:58 AM on November 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
Have you talked to a local tenants rights organization and or a domestic violence agency (finanical abuse is real domestic abuse, and you deserve services if you want them, and many people experiencing domestic violence get into convoluted housing situations) to check out your options? Your rights and options are really going to vary based on locality and how the laws are written so local resources are going to be the best.
posted by AlexiaSky at 3:28 AM on November 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by AlexiaSky at 3:28 AM on November 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
If you can’t get out of the lease can you move back in and kick him out instead? Maybe move back in and get a restraining order so he can’t live there at the same time? I have no idea of the legalities of any of these suggestions but you know who would? A lawyer. I’d go get one of those.
posted by Jubey at 4:16 AM on November 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Jubey at 4:16 AM on November 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Juneau: I don’t know how I could go about kicking him out. Besides, I can’t afford to pay more than 1/3 of the rent. His brother doesn’t pay anything.
posted by TheStoicMask at 4:23 AM on November 27, 2019
posted by TheStoicMask at 4:23 AM on November 27, 2019
Some jurisdictions will allow you to break lease if you're at risk of harm. What that means will really depend. Seconding seeing if you can find a tenant's rights organization.
posted by Anonymous at 4:26 AM on November 27, 2019
posted by Anonymous at 4:26 AM on November 27, 2019
Response by poster: Harm, as in physical harm?
Most of the “abuse” I have experienced from this man is emotional and verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, and control—and him holding me financially hostage as he doing right now. It’s not “real abuse”.
I will look up the tenant’s rights org in my area.
Will he be able to have his eviction cleared by filing bankruptcy if he gets an eviction for violating the terms of the lease by having someone who isn’t on the lease living there? They’ve been made aware of the situation as of today.
posted by TheStoicMask at 4:45 AM on November 27, 2019
Most of the “abuse” I have experienced from this man is emotional and verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, and control—and him holding me financially hostage as he doing right now. It’s not “real abuse”.
I will look up the tenant’s rights org in my area.
Will he be able to have his eviction cleared by filing bankruptcy if he gets an eviction for violating the terms of the lease by having someone who isn’t on the lease living there? They’ve been made aware of the situation as of today.
posted by TheStoicMask at 4:45 AM on November 27, 2019
I can't offer legal advice and I echo getting that professional help asap.
However, I would advise that probably your best position, and it sounds like you're at least halfway there, is to let go of the idea of justice/fairness in this case. Whether he has an eviction on his "record" (whatever that is, I don't know that in my area there's anything that shows that and a bankruptcy on a credit check is going to stand out no matter what) or not has nothing to do with you. The best strategy right now is to protect yourself. Again, legal advice is better but from experience in murky situations:
- pay your share of the rent directly to the landlord; get receipts
- send your landlord a letter via registered mail stating that you are not living there despite continuing to pay rent and that you are not renewing your lease
- document everything
Good luck.
posted by warriorqueen at 5:22 AM on November 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
However, I would advise that probably your best position, and it sounds like you're at least halfway there, is to let go of the idea of justice/fairness in this case. Whether he has an eviction on his "record" (whatever that is, I don't know that in my area there's anything that shows that and a bankruptcy on a credit check is going to stand out no matter what) or not has nothing to do with you. The best strategy right now is to protect yourself. Again, legal advice is better but from experience in murky situations:
- pay your share of the rent directly to the landlord; get receipts
- send your landlord a letter via registered mail stating that you are not living there despite continuing to pay rent and that you are not renewing your lease
- document everything
Good luck.
posted by warriorqueen at 5:22 AM on November 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
Domestic violence comes in many many forms including forms that don't cause physical harm but are still abuse. These are covered by some laws and served by agencies with resources such as pro bono lawyers. Please reach out to a reputable origination for what laws apply to your situation. There may be more help than you think.
posted by AlexiaSky at 5:25 AM on November 27, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by AlexiaSky at 5:25 AM on November 27, 2019 [3 favorites]
It sounds like Ex has already violated the lease by subletting your room (you didn’t use that word, but that’s what it sounds like). That might give you an out.
posted by adamrice at 5:53 AM on November 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by adamrice at 5:53 AM on November 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
What is my ex getting out of filing for bankruptcy?
This is a moot point. Both of you have invoked the law. Follow up.
Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer.
Yesterday.
posted by aspersioncast at 6:03 AM on November 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
This is a moot point. Both of you have invoked the law. Follow up.
Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer, lawyer.
Yesterday.
posted by aspersioncast at 6:03 AM on November 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
To answer your specific question: evictions and other tenancy problems may appear as part of your credit history, but they are also tracked in an ad hoc manner by landlords and by companies that provide tenant screening services to landlords. Filing for bankruptcy won't make the existence of an eviction disappear from those tenant screening services.
More generally, filing for bankruptcy doesn't make your history disappear. It just means that you don't have to pay some of the debts that you previously owed.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 7:12 AM on November 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
More generally, filing for bankruptcy doesn't make your history disappear. It just means that you don't have to pay some of the debts that you previously owed.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 7:12 AM on November 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
I would just make sure that your landlord knows the entire situation. I'm sad they won't take your name off the lease now but the advice above sounds good to me that they should know you are NOT renewing. Do you pay rent directly to the landlord? If not, offer to pay them directly for sure, maybe even a deal to get out sooner? So sorry you're dealing with this.
posted by agregoli at 7:20 AM on November 27, 2019
posted by agregoli at 7:20 AM on November 27, 2019
"Most of the “abuse” I have experienced from this man is emotional and verbal abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, and control—and him holding me financially hostage as he doing right now. It’s not “real abuse”."
This is real abuse. "Real abuse" doesn't need to leave marks or scars. Emotional trauma is just as real as physical trauma.
posted by kathrynm at 8:55 AM on November 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
This is real abuse. "Real abuse" doesn't need to leave marks or scars. Emotional trauma is just as real as physical trauma.
posted by kathrynm at 8:55 AM on November 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
Bankruptcy can delay eviction proceedings, that's what he gets out of it.
Ask a bankruptcy lawyer how it can affect you as a non bankrupt leaseholder
posted by perdhapley at 11:30 AM on November 27, 2019
Ask a bankruptcy lawyer how it can affect you as a non bankrupt leaseholder
posted by perdhapley at 11:30 AM on November 27, 2019
Note that "theft/destruction of possessions" also falls under "abuse."
1) Review the terms of the lease in detail. Make sure you know what's required, and what exceptions apply. Especially, note what conditions can cause the landlord to break the lease and charge you all a fee for it.
2) Find a tenant's rights group; have them help you understand laws and customs in your area.
3) Inform the landlord of everything. Repeat that you won't be renewing the lease, and you'd like it to end ASAP. Point out that he's in violation of the lease by bringing in a new paid roommate without consent. Mention the missing brother - not being available may be a violation of the lease. Seconding, "don't pay rent to the roommate; pay directly to the landlord." Unless your lease specifies that only he can pay the rent, insist that you will pay your share directly. If the landlord insists on only one check, demand that roommate give his share to you.
4) Talk to the police. Ask about restraining order against a roommate who steals your possessions, and mention that the landlord forbids you to put a lock on your door. Tell them you're worried he may get violent if you move back in and kick out the person he's placed in your room. (Is the new person in your room?) (I don't know how potentially violent you think he is, but I'd be worried, given the situation you've described. He sounds like someone who'll escalate when frustrated.)
5) Potentially, file a small claims court suit for the missing possessions. This has no teeth (it won't be enforced), but it gives you a legal record to take to the cops and it'll show up on his record when people run a credit check on him.
my ex needs me on the lease because he is self-employed, and he needs my proof of income.
This is not a legal matter, but one of the landlord's trust. He's now been paying rent for a notable amount of time; if the landlord believes he's financially stable, he may not need external proof of income. Whether or not the landlord trusts him, it's not your job to provide proof of income to cover for him.
I suppose this is probably, "The Ex won't release me from the lease because the landlord wouldn't contract to him alone." In which case, at worst, you have a handful of months of financial hassles to deal with, and then you move on, and the ex is stuck with no place to live. Make very, very sure that you've told the landlord you won't be renewing the lease, and any related documents he receives from the ex are forged.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 2:22 PM on November 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
1) Review the terms of the lease in detail. Make sure you know what's required, and what exceptions apply. Especially, note what conditions can cause the landlord to break the lease and charge you all a fee for it.
2) Find a tenant's rights group; have them help you understand laws and customs in your area.
3) Inform the landlord of everything. Repeat that you won't be renewing the lease, and you'd like it to end ASAP. Point out that he's in violation of the lease by bringing in a new paid roommate without consent. Mention the missing brother - not being available may be a violation of the lease. Seconding, "don't pay rent to the roommate; pay directly to the landlord." Unless your lease specifies that only he can pay the rent, insist that you will pay your share directly. If the landlord insists on only one check, demand that roommate give his share to you.
4) Talk to the police. Ask about restraining order against a roommate who steals your possessions, and mention that the landlord forbids you to put a lock on your door. Tell them you're worried he may get violent if you move back in and kick out the person he's placed in your room. (Is the new person in your room?) (I don't know how potentially violent you think he is, but I'd be worried, given the situation you've described. He sounds like someone who'll escalate when frustrated.)
5) Potentially, file a small claims court suit for the missing possessions. This has no teeth (it won't be enforced), but it gives you a legal record to take to the cops and it'll show up on his record when people run a credit check on him.
my ex needs me on the lease because he is self-employed, and he needs my proof of income.
This is not a legal matter, but one of the landlord's trust. He's now been paying rent for a notable amount of time; if the landlord believes he's financially stable, he may not need external proof of income. Whether or not the landlord trusts him, it's not your job to provide proof of income to cover for him.
I suppose this is probably, "The Ex won't release me from the lease because the landlord wouldn't contract to him alone." In which case, at worst, you have a handful of months of financial hassles to deal with, and then you move on, and the ex is stuck with no place to live. Make very, very sure that you've told the landlord you won't be renewing the lease, and any related documents he receives from the ex are forged.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 2:22 PM on November 27, 2019 [4 favorites]
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posted by TheStoicMask at 2:39 AM on November 27, 2019