How to tell my wife I love her please don't leave me etc.
February 27, 2006 8:52 AM Subscribe
Wife left me. What do I do?
posted by Baby_Balrog to health & fitness (78 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I've been debating bringing this up for a long time. I've wanted to ask you guys what you think... I need objective advice.
Full disclosure: I love this woman. I want to be married to her for the rest. of. my. life. I believe divorce is the easy road, and this is why it appeals to so many of us in the U.S. I'm ready to take the hard road.
We had dated for nearly 5 years, happily, before we were married last June. Everything started to go to shit when she became hooked on an mmorpg. I should have acted, but just as I became indignant enough to say, "Hey! What does UltraBLCKDrag0nzLord have that I don't?" my dad died, my friend shot himself, I totaled my car...my world exploded.
Suddenly, our young, fresh marriage was plunged into a bad place.
I lost my head at work... in a sales job this created financial problems for us. She dove deeper into her alternate reality, subsequently striking up a 'rather close' relationship with a European chef. or so he claims. Everything kept getting worser. Until finally she said, "I can't handle this. I can't help you with your problems, I feel guilty about my relationship with Mr. Belgium rock-climber chef motorcycle racer, I only hurt you, I need to be on my own for a while."
I fell apart even more, quit my sales job, took a position in non-profit for less pay - we are seeing a counselor but she's on her own in a smaller apartment and I live with my mom.
Here's the question: Psychologist says that my intense need for emotional support (from my recent string of awful circumstances) is alien to her (I'm usually quite cavalier about life) and it's pushing her away. So I shouldn't express need to her.
But I neeeeeeed to move back in with her.
I lurve her. So bad.
I'm afraid that living separately, she will start to forget about me...then the day will come when she'll call me and say, "Balrog, living apart has shown me that I don't really need you. Please bring back my jogging shorts that you've been using for undies and don't call me anymore."
I don't feel depressed...a lot of bad stuff has happened, but I'm ready to be happy, get over it, etc. I think I'm strong enough.
Admittedly, she'll need to stop seeing Mr. Flanders, but we can work on that together...
What can I do to maintain contact and win her back?