Trusting compliments, or not
December 19, 2018 7:46 AM Subscribe
I'm looking for a loosely remembered...essay? study? viral Tumblr take? about the psychology of Millennials in regards to the "everyone is special" phenomenon.
The gist of it, in short, is that the the impact of "everyone gets a participation award" is not that those kids grow up to be entitled layabouts, because kids are smart, and they can see everyone else around them also getting those rewards. The actual impact is that kids grow up mistrusting compliments, because they see compliments as something that adults give to everyone/lie to you about, and as a result those kids then only trust praise from someone who has proven themselves already willing to criticize them, which can obviously be an antipattern.
I've been having a hell of a time Googling for this, does this sound familiar to anyone else?
The gist of it, in short, is that the the impact of "everyone gets a participation award" is not that those kids grow up to be entitled layabouts, because kids are smart, and they can see everyone else around them also getting those rewards. The actual impact is that kids grow up mistrusting compliments, because they see compliments as something that adults give to everyone/lie to you about, and as a result those kids then only trust praise from someone who has proven themselves already willing to criticize them, which can obviously be an antipattern.
I've been having a hell of a time Googling for this, does this sound familiar to anyone else?
Response by poster: That is absolutely it, thank you! Can I ask what keywords you used to find this?
posted by Phire at 8:44 AM on December 19, 2018
posted by Phire at 8:44 AM on December 19, 2018
From Fortune: Here's How Often Millennial Employees Need Compliments (Feb 8 2017)
From the BBC: What everyone gets wrong about 'millenial snowflakes' (Oct 3 2017)
From the BBC: Millenials are narcissistic? The evidence is not so simple (Nov 17 2017)
From the U of C at Berkeley's Greater Good Magazine: The Surprisingly Boring Truth about Millennials and Narcissism (Jan 17 2018)
posted by Little Dawn at 8:48 AM on December 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
From the BBC: What everyone gets wrong about 'millenial snowflakes' (Oct 3 2017)
From the BBC: Millenials are narcissistic? The evidence is not so simple (Nov 17 2017)
From the U of C at Berkeley's Greater Good Magazine: The Surprisingly Boring Truth about Millennials and Narcissism (Jan 17 2018)
posted by Little Dawn at 8:48 AM on December 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Yes: millennials distrust compliments
You're welcome!
posted by wellred at 8:50 AM on December 19, 2018
You're welcome!
posted by wellred at 8:50 AM on December 19, 2018
Response by poster: Augh! I tried so many different combinations of "millennials", "mistrust", "distrust", "compliment", "praise", "criticism", etc. and couldn't find anything. Curses. Thanks again!
posted by Phire at 8:53 AM on December 19, 2018
posted by Phire at 8:53 AM on December 19, 2018
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posted by wellred at 8:16 AM on December 19, 2018 [7 favorites]