Reckon my date is ghosting but we share a friend group, how to deal?
October 8, 2018 1:33 PM Subscribe
Asked this dude who seemed interested on a date, now he's gone radio silent. I'm 100% going to see him at future events, including one tomorrow night potentially. How to deal?
I asked out a guy who was showing signs of interest/shyness and he responded very enthusiastically. We were in daily contact up until the date a week later, which seemed to go well! He complimented me, asked me lots of thoughtful questions and listened rapturously for the entire evening . I thought he seemed like a very kind person - at one point he even called out a guy for his casual sexism, which I was pretty damn impressed by.
Later, when some friends joined us, we set tongues wagging as he obviously wasn't leaving my side all night. I guess the only thing was...it was a very INTENSE date. There was lots of laughs, sure, but I felt we were almost imparting mutual life stories. I intended to leave earlier in the evening, but he convinced me to stay for several more drinks so we basically stayed at the bar until it was almost closing time. Sadly, he also told me half way through the date he is planning a move to Germany early next year. He seemed reluctant to mention it but obviously its an important detail.
He then walked me home, didn't try to kiss me and lightly touched on plans soon. He contacted me immediately after leaving me and again the next morning to see how I was feeling/chat about things. After responding I have heard NOTHING for 2 days, although I've seen him online on multiple occasions. My gut tells me he is ghosting me and freaking out. He also blurted out, while a little drunk towards the end of the night, that he is very shy/socially anxious (although he's trying to overcome it) and that he is seeing a psychologist.
I don't think he has considered what just going radio silent means in the context of the fact we now share a social group. I'm a little upset and confused, but ok overall as I had a great night and am now feeling pretty good about dipping my toe back in the dating water. For me, it was one of those rare evenings where you connect emotionally, intellectually, etc, on a deep level - and I've oddly been left feeling happy appreciating it exactly for what it was. During the date he mentioned an event he is going to tomorrow if I wanted to join (which I am already intending to go to anyway) so I think there's a strong chance I'll see him there. And at other things. I feel so awkward about this, how to handle this when I see him in person?
I asked out a guy who was showing signs of interest/shyness and he responded very enthusiastically. We were in daily contact up until the date a week later, which seemed to go well! He complimented me, asked me lots of thoughtful questions and listened rapturously for the entire evening . I thought he seemed like a very kind person - at one point he even called out a guy for his casual sexism, which I was pretty damn impressed by.
Later, when some friends joined us, we set tongues wagging as he obviously wasn't leaving my side all night. I guess the only thing was...it was a very INTENSE date. There was lots of laughs, sure, but I felt we were almost imparting mutual life stories. I intended to leave earlier in the evening, but he convinced me to stay for several more drinks so we basically stayed at the bar until it was almost closing time. Sadly, he also told me half way through the date he is planning a move to Germany early next year. He seemed reluctant to mention it but obviously its an important detail.
He then walked me home, didn't try to kiss me and lightly touched on plans soon. He contacted me immediately after leaving me and again the next morning to see how I was feeling/chat about things. After responding I have heard NOTHING for 2 days, although I've seen him online on multiple occasions. My gut tells me he is ghosting me and freaking out. He also blurted out, while a little drunk towards the end of the night, that he is very shy/socially anxious (although he's trying to overcome it) and that he is seeing a psychologist.
I don't think he has considered what just going radio silent means in the context of the fact we now share a social group. I'm a little upset and confused, but ok overall as I had a great night and am now feeling pretty good about dipping my toe back in the dating water. For me, it was one of those rare evenings where you connect emotionally, intellectually, etc, on a deep level - and I've oddly been left feeling happy appreciating it exactly for what it was. During the date he mentioned an event he is going to tomorrow if I wanted to join (which I am already intending to go to anyway) so I think there's a strong chance I'll see him there. And at other things. I feel so awkward about this, how to handle this when I see him in person?
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's request -- restless_nomad
Response by poster: Oh never mind! He just contacted me apologising profusely due to a busy time and has asked me out again tomorrow night. Good thing I'm going back to meditation asap...
Mods - please delete asap and free up the question space for someone else!!
posted by Willow251 at 1:45 PM on October 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
Mods - please delete asap and free up the question space for someone else!!
posted by Willow251 at 1:45 PM on October 8, 2018 [2 favorites]
Only 2 days?
I'd chill and take phunniemee's advice.
posted by terrapin at 1:46 PM on October 8, 2018
I'd chill and take phunniemee's advice.
posted by terrapin at 1:46 PM on October 8, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by phunniemee at 1:41 PM on October 8, 2018 [2 favorites]