My neck! My hands! Help this skincare dummy, please.

April 30, 2018 4:02 PM

I'm in my late forties. And over the past year or so, I've noticed the skin on my neck getting looser and more crepe-y, and my hands are looking really sad too (the crepey skin along with age spots). I like to think of myself as accepting this aging stuff gracefully, but I'm not ready for this. Can you recommend any regimens/specific products to help with these problems?

I've been blithely going about my life giving little attention to any sort of skincare routine after enduring the horrors of a childhood using Fostex cleanser for really bumpy skin. Since junior high, I've largely had no problems with my skin. Normal to dry and fair. I know this issue hasn't just appeared overnight, but I recently got a job where I have to look a little more put together, so I guess I've been actually looking at myself in the mirror more lately.

Other previous askme threads specifically about neck jazz seem a little out of date or light on recommendations other than sunscreen (yes, I finally have that part down). I really appreciated a more recent thread on Drunk Elephant/The Ordinary and bought a DE starter kit, but I didn't notice a big change in elasticity or skin tone. I did try StriVectin (for the neck) when it was on super-sale, and it seemed to work quite well but I cannot afford it on a regular basis.

I know that I am not one for a ten step skincare program, but I am willing to work a little at this. Bonus points if you can suggest something for these pucker lines around my lips. Argh. I really am a novice at all of this and I still have some "I shouldn't care about this stuff - it's so vain/superficial" issues that I'm battling with.

posted by queensissy to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (21 answers total)

There is no product that will repair 40+ years of living. Whatever specific suggestions people make for individual products to make negligible difference to specific signs of aging, the most important thing is to moisturize. Those of us with dry skin need to moisturize multiple times a day. And drink water.

It's really, really boring.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:23 PM on April 30, 2018 [15 favorites]

At the risk of sounding like an infomercial, I'd recommend the Curology trial month. Their marketing is geared towards zits but they also deal with aging skin and other concerns, and I've re-upped and started paying for a subscription after seeing a good result in my skin.
posted by thirdletter at 4:25 PM on April 30, 2018

This is going to sound like a joke, but it’s not. Scarves, especially if you need to look put together. Older celebrity women wear them all the time, except Jane Fonda, who obviously has a great surgeon. And maybe read Nora Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck.

If you’re not fond of tying scarves, scarf clips are great.
posted by FencingGal at 4:33 PM on April 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

I’ve been quite into skin care since I was in my 20s, and now that I’m hitting my mid-40s, I’m getting a little crepey in the neck and hands too. Them’s the breaks.

You can do chemical peels on your neck and hands. Start with a mild glycolic peel and work your way up to stronger ones over time. They’re good at building collagen and making skin firmer. I buy my peels from Makeupartistschoice.com. I would also recommend the program “Ageless If You Dare” for working the muscles beneath the skin, which will not affect texture but which will provide a firmer foundation for your epidermis. The peels and the facial toning program are comparatively inexpensive—$50 will buy you enough for a dozen peels and the Ageless program is a $27 flat fee, and like any workout, once you learn it, you have that knowledge forever, it’s not something you need to keep buying.

If you really want to pull out the big guns, you can get a neck lift and laser peels.
posted by Autumnheart at 4:47 PM on April 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

I started putting moisturizer with sunscreen on the backs of my hands a few years ago and I think it has helped a lot.

Also, when I'm driving in the summertime, I wear arm sleeves made of UV protection fabric.
posted by mogget at 4:59 PM on April 30, 2018 [3 favorites]

Best answer: It’s now rivalling “therapy” as the answer to everything, but... exercise.
posted by cotton dress sock at 5:03 PM on April 30, 2018 [3 favorites]

I like cliniques dramatically different moisturizer. I am a bit younger than you, but this makes a huge difference in my face. I put it on my hands when they look dry/tight and they look "younger". I still use acne wash from 20 years ago so I will see what advice you get.
posted by Kalmya at 5:19 PM on April 30, 2018

It can take a while to find which topical creams and serums are effective for your specific concerns on your specific body, which is maddening and also throwing away $$$. If you know that Strivectin works for your neck, stick with it. Maybe you'd also respond well to other products in the line. Keep your eyes peeled for discounts; buying in bulk initially (within reason) can carry you through periods when it's full-price. Multi-packs go on sale a few times a year at Costco.
posted by Iris Gambol at 6:04 PM on April 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

Add in a night cream or oil overnight (I use various including Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery), or let yourself relax with an Asian sheet mask when you’re winding down before bed. Scoop the extra serum out of the envelope the mask came in and slather it over your neck and décolletage.
posted by matildaben at 6:05 PM on April 30, 2018

Best answer: It's going to take more than one product to repair the damage, it's also going to take a good 3 to 6 months before you see any obvious changes. There are a lot of very good products at a lower price point.

Evening.

Step One. Cleanser.
The standard suggestion here is a CeraVe face wash. Morning & Night, pick they have several, most people go the hydrating, but pick the one that you think best suits your needs.

Step Two. Exfoliate. Ignore physical scrubs etc as they can do more damage than good & think chemical exfoliation. This is where your AHAs, Glycolic & Latic Acids come into it. (listed from strongest to gentlest) Start with a lactic acid if you've never done one before, Glycolic Acids are great too. These are not peels per se, if you're skin peels after using them you're doing them wrong. What they will do is loosen up the dead surface skin cells that help prevent the beneficial products from getting in there & doing their thing.

Step Three. Serums. This is where the good stuff happens. You're going to want a good Hyaluronic acid product in here to help draw moisture into the skin do it first. Then Some antioxidants. Vitamin C with Feurlic Acid is a great one to start with. Then your retinol product, goes on last if it's not an oil. Differen gel is a great product that's just come of prescription, it was designed for acne, but is a very gentle retinol (some can be very harsh) and very affordable. This is a fun area to mix & match with until you find the combo that works for you.

Step Four. Moisturisation. Find a good moisturizer, you want one with Peptides, Nicidamides & Ceramides in. Dr Jart makes great Ceramide based moisturizers, CeraVe also does really good solid moisturizers and you can't go wrong with any of theirs.

Step Five. This is where you put on your oils. (they go on last so they don't stop the other products soaking into your nice clean & exfoliated skin.

Mornings you can get away with a Cleanser, antioxidant, moisturizer sunscreen. It sounds a lot but really only takes a minute or so once you get the hang of it.

If using an active ingredients like acids or retinols you MUST use a sunscreen.

For the fastest results see a dermatologist and get a prescription strength products.

Start one new product at a time. Use it for 2 weeks before adding a new one to make sure you don't have any reaction, specially if your skin isn't used to it.

Yes this sounds a lot, you don't have to do all the steps at once. Start with finding a cleanser, moisturizer & sunscreen you like. But without active ingredients all they will do is help prevent things getting worse. To repair damage you will most likely want to add active serums/retinol products to your regime.

I'm actually decreasing the signs of sun damage from a childhood in the harsh Australian sun on my 50 year old skin using a similar regime to the one listed. I'm never going to look 20 again, but my age spots are fading, my crepey eyelids are less droopy & my skin didn't look this plump & good when I was 40.
posted by wwax at 6:11 PM on April 30, 2018 [37 favorites]

FYI - Paula's Choice includes reviews of many skin care products.
posted by she's not there at 8:04 PM on April 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

I think some people get dermal fillers in their hands (Radiesse or something like that).
posted by pinochiette at 9:01 PM on April 30, 2018

Best answer: The neck is one of the hardest areas to treat because the skin is really thin there AND it's an active area (the lines are constantly being reinforced in any position: standing, sitting, lying down, etc.). Treatments are ineffective on the neck because the skin is too thin. You need a strong wallop to fix wrinkling and the neck skin is just too fragile to handle it. This rules out Botox, fillers, lasers, and chemical peels as real solutions to reverse neck aging. Your pretty Drunk Elephant serums are a big fat waste of money. StriVectin is basically a really effective moisturizer so it can soften lines temporarily (add enough water and skin looks marginally better), but at best it's a temporary (and expensive) solution.

If you truly want your neck to improve, get a neck lift. Even then it won't be perfect, but it will be improved enough that you may see slight gains with aggressive laser, peel, and serum treatments.

Pucker lines are another killer. Botox should not be used around the mouth. Sometimes you can get a bit of a filler in there, but usually what happens is it's over-filled so it's obvious you had work done for 2 months, then it evens out for 2 weeks, then it's nearly invisible but still gotta wait the required time for a touch up. Great...you had a whole 2 weeks of softened lines.

I won't knock you for trying, I just hope you're realistic about what you can actually attain this late in the game. With a bunch of surgery, fillers, and a very strict topical regimen, you might be able to look 43 instead of 48. Is that gain worth it to you?

The standards of youth and beauty are being set by actresses in their early twenties who are already getting preventative Botox and fillers on the regular. They'll slather themselves in sunscreen to get the mail (or better yet—send out their assistant). Many celebrities are getting fraudulent prescriptions for HGH to look young for as long as possible. I'm just not sure that compared to that extreme you'll be happy spending thousands of dollars to get 5 years of youth back. All of the issues you describe are the hardest and most expensive areas to treat. But maybe it's worth it to you. In that case, you're going to have to think bigger than a skincare regimen.
posted by ticktickatick at 10:41 PM on April 30, 2018 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: As always, you all have provided so many good answers and lots of food for thought. Thank you.

And if you haven't yet, read the article about a BUTT SKIN EXPERIMENT linked by cotton dress sock. My skin may be mature, but my sense of humor sure isn't.
posted by queensissy at 10:54 PM on April 30, 2018 [5 favorites]

Microneedling with a derma pen might make your skin appear more plump and even toned.
posted by catspajammies at 12:49 AM on May 1, 2018

I'll throw my lot in with those who don't see much hope in reversal, particularly due to the complexities of the areas you're most concerned about. One cheap and painless thing you can try* is drinking/consuming gelatine. It's basically just collagen, which your skin needs anyway, so it won't do any harm. I've been doing this for a while, mostly for hair and nails, and it seems to help — a couple leaves a day, softened and dissolved in hot water.

Beyond that, a good self-care regimen is your best friend: hydration, exercise, cleansing/moisturising, sunblock/avoiding sun, proper rest, nutrient-rich foods, avoiding excess stressors both physical and psychological. It won't turn back the clock but it should help slow the process. If you're really bothered, consider seeing a good dermatologist.

*unless you're vegetarian/vegan, obvs
posted by myotahapea at 2:59 AM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]

I just returned from my Auntie's funeral; she was 93 and had beautiful skin.* My cousins and I were marveling at how gorgeous she was, and we discovered her skincare routine, which I will now share with you. This is the best skincare advice you'll ever get, so get a pen and write this down:

1. Drink a whole lot of water, like around 6-10 full glasses a day.
2. Wash your face with what's around. If nothing's around, try just using a warm wet washcloth and maybe some oil. Rub in some Nivea or whatever. Now stop looking in the mirror.
3. Wear a wide-brimmed hat and keep your arms covered outside. Barring that, put on some sunscreen.
4. Get a dog. Walk that dog outside at least 3 times daily. If you can't get a dog, do some gardening. If you can't do a dog or gardening, walk to the library, grab a book, then sit outside and read your book.
5. At least once a month, make dinner for people you love and sit around the table for at least 2 hours. You will want red wine for this. Also cards.
6. Going to the store? Maybe a nice pink or red lipstick. Or not; that's fine.
7. Find at least one ridiculous tv show that makes you laugh and watch that show. Laugh out loud.
8. Every day when you wake up, think of one thing that you're looking forward to.
9. That crepey neck comes from decades of talking and laughing and eating yummy food. A crepey neck means you've lived. Those wrinkly hands have cooked and created and written and held bike handlebars and have also lived. The more your hands show your age, the more you've lived, my friend.
10. Tell yourself the same gravity that keeps you and your loved ones tethered to Earth is, thankfully, doing its job, and that skin changes are a result of getting to live this amazing life.
11. Estimate roughly $100-$200 monthly for expensive skin care products, $600 for fillers, and take that money and go on a crazy vacation. NYC? New Orleans? Paris? A hut in Maine? My auntie went to Atlantic City every month until she died, playing the slot machines, sipping her Manhattans and thinking she was living the life of Riley. Get out there and spend the money on some kickass vacation, not your damned skin.

*She was 93 and she was always smiling. Happiness gives us the best skin.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:23 AM on May 1, 2018 [33 favorites]

If you have a TJ Maxx close to you, you can try looking for StriVectin there. I see their products there a lot.
posted by Constance Mirabella at 4:49 AM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

Smoking will cause skin ageing, particularly the pucker marks around the mouth, so if you smoke yourself or are exposed to second hand smoke, avoidance might prevent future damage. I agree with others that moisturizing and regular daily use of a mild retinol on both face and neck will help over time. If you stop using the retinols the improvement will also stop so if you think it's helping you should continue. I try stocking up on tubes of Neutrogena retinol cream ("Rapid Wrinkle Repair Serum") when they are on sale. I used to use a prescription, but it was a pain to have to go to the dermatologist's office to pick it up; the pharmacy down the street is much more convenient and has Neutrogena products on regular sale. I use this daily, rather than the twice-weekly Rx stuff, and I haven't noticed a difference.

I'm also very fair, older than you, and regularly get complimented on my skin, for which I otherwise have almost no routine other than a daily SPF-containing tinted moisturizer. I really think retinol cream and moisturizing will help, but it takes a couple of months and you must, must use effective sunscreen every single day. Hats, gloves, and sleeves while gardening will reduce future damage, too. I'm sure you will see improvement, but you'll never erase all the damage the sun has caused without professional intervention. I'd suggest a visit with a derm for advice, and for a yearly cancer check. Even with my diligence to SPF, mine found a small cancer on my collarbone, where I was not always so careful with sunscreen. He told me the most frequent site of melanoma in women was on the ankle, where sandals and infrequent sunscreen made women vulnerable, something that sounded crazy but does make sense. I now use sunscreen on my legs and feet in the summer!
posted by citygirl at 6:07 AM on May 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

Moisturize the shit out of yourself and not with some wimpy oil free gel for acne phobic teens. Get in there with some palmers coco butter body lotion or clinique dramatically different lotion or almond oil or nivea, or aquaphor or lush skin shangri la. You want the opposite of the going fad now which is "a light cream" (which are a lot of bulhocky and comprised mostly of chemicals selected for their slip feel, how they feel to apply rather than actual moisturizing or moisture retaining chemicals). Go somewhere and tell them, give me the grease, the good stuff.

Wash with Albolene.

Other than that, own your appearance. Its ok to look your age. No need to shame yourself into looking 20 forever. What is even the point of that? People can be vibrant at all ages.
posted by WeekendJen at 7:48 AM on May 1, 2018 [4 favorites]

Good for you for living your life. There's no shame in wanting to smooth out a thing or too though!

You need silicon wrinkle patches. They work overnight, like *really* work -- and you can reuse them for a month or so before they lose the 'sticky' and need replacing. They make these for all areas of your face and chest, and they work much better and faster than any skin cream I've tried.
posted by ananci at 12:49 PM on May 1, 2018 [1 favorite]